Float Like A Feather - An Original TLOU Fanfiction by midnightdancexx
Title, Blurb, Aesthetics & First chapter

The title is catching and definitely original which I love. I couldn't find anything that could give me an idea why you chose that title based on the blurb but I'm sure, eventually it'll fit the puzzle. I would definitely keep the title since it's engaging, unique and mysterious. However, I would remove "An original TLOU Fanfiction"
The reason why is because it reduces the importance of the title especially since it is, itself, already long. Adding that piece of information is not needed. I would suggest putting it in the blurb though.

When it comes to the blurb, it's nicely written, giving just enough background information. I absolutely love how you created questions at the end to create tension and leave readers wondering. But, what I would pay attention to are the lengthy sentences. There were many times it could've been cut short since it's easier to understand for the reader.

For example, "After the notorious cordyceps outbreak twenty years ago, Joel Miller and his daughter Sarah have been peacefully residing in Jackson, Wyoming, with his younger brother Tommy and wife Maria, sheltered away from the drastic implications of the fungal pandemic."
Now this is an extremely long sentence and it might turn the readers off. It happened throughout the blurb.

Instead you could say, "After the notorious cordyceps outbreak twenty years ago, Joel Miller and his daughter Sarah have been peacefully residing in Jackson, Wyoming. With only his younger brother Tommy and wife Maria, they were sheltered away from the drastic implications of the fungal pandemic."

The only thing I changed was cutting the sentence short and making it into two of them. It's more coherent and understood easier. That should be improved for the whole blurb. Other than that, I wouldn't change anything. The grammar and spelling was perfect which is an added bonus.

As for the aesthetics, I think you did an amazing job portraying Joel Miller. We got an insight of the mood and the personality we might experience reading him. However, for Sarah, I think the "left side" of the board should be improved. I didn't see the "pandemic" feel like I did with Joel mainly because of the shoes and the face claim. It didn't fit the rest of the pictures so I would mainly change those. What I think would look great for both is adding the frame. It'll look more professional.

As I read the first chapter, I was blown away. It fit all the criteria I had. The opening was great, pulled the readers in with ease. They were nice descriptions and short details about the past life. However make sure to not use parentheses for explaining stuff.
Ex: and silver necklace (the one I'd bought her for her eighteenth even though I had to trade two rifles for it) Instead, you could connect it to the sentence or make another one.

But, I loved those little details that portrayed their past life. It connects the readers to the characters and sympathize with them. What helped that was you professionally and perfectly changing the POV between the characters. I liked the switch up. We saw Joel, Merlene and Sarah's POV. You did a great job showing each of their distinct personalities which can be hard to do when you are switching POV. If you keep up the same way you're telling this fanfiction in other chapters, it'll be truly beautifully done.

These POV's helped me distinct your writing style which I adore. It's extremely apocalyptic influenced. The strong language, the words, the way Sarah and Joel talk to one another is spot on so great job with that. The one thing I would change though is when I stumbled across Marlene's POV some paragraphs were extremely long so pay close attention to how you're going to divide them up. However, the sentence structures itself are extremely done well so with just that little change you'll be good to go. Overall, the chapter is fast paced and the plot is already driven forward. However, what I would suggest is making the chapters shorter. It'll be easier for everyone to read especially since it's read on an electrical device.

But other than that, I truly don't have any mistakes to point out because it's amazingly written. I don't know anything about TLOU but it made me want to know more. The storyline and the conflict is amazing. I wouldn't change anything about it, other than the small mistakes I pointed out above. Great job <33