♥️ 𝒥𝒾𝓁𝓎♥️

【Lily learns that nothing should hold you back...】

(Muggle AU)

✦ ✦ ✦

"You can sit in the back, Lily!"

Ever since she was a little girl, Lily Evans had found herself pushed to the boot of the car. It started when Petunia made her sit there on the way to her 10th birthday party. All her friends were giggling in the front and Petunia was directing them as if she were the ringmaster in a circus of 10 year olds.

Lily was only there because her mother forced her to be there for her sister's party but she didn't stop Petunia ordering her little sister into the seat in the boot, the one that faced the wrong way with the broken seat belt that you had to jiggle for ungodly amounts of time before it stuck.
Lily first thought it was just because there wasn't enough space for all of Petunia's friends and Lily in the seven seater car; it was only when she noticed there was a spare seat in the middle of Petunia's friends Ruby and Poppy that she realised her sister was embarrassed by her. For a while Lily convinced herself it was just her flaming red hair or her hundreds of freckles that startled people, but she soon came to the conclusion that it was none of the above; in fact, it was just Petunia's way. And Lily had to grow used to it.

So it no longer surprised Lily when her sister pushed her into the boot even when no one else was in the car with them and a nine year old Lily would have to explain (or rather lie) to her mother that she preferred to sit in the back and that, in fact, facing backwards didn't bother her at all. But it did bother her, it hurt her so much that Petunia didn't see her worthy of sitting forwards that Lily no longer did either. So now -well into her teenage years- Lily still turned around her seat, despite no longer getting away with actually sitting in the boot of cars she still couldn't bring herself to stop looking back. She'd grown to prefer it.
And it was because of this that Lily Evans had never learnt to drive, she couldn't face looking forward, to the oncoming traffic and facing the scenery as it arrived.

✦ ✦ ✦

"And to think: some poor tree out there somewhere is working it's arse off to let that prick breathe?! It doesn't bare thinking about."

"No. No, it doesn't. We should cut down the tree- put it out it's misery." Lily agreed, turning to her friend James Potter, smirking at him as he flashed a rather disgusting hand gesture to Severus Snape- the boy subject to their current conversation.

"A lot of people would benefit if that tree went missing. Not just me, you and the tree, but society as we know it." James added as they strolled out the school gates, arm in arm.

"Wow, James, you really are becoming an intellectual, aren't you?" Lily stated mockingly.

"I'm writing a TEDtalk as we speak."

"Jolly good, I look forward to coming to it!" She rolled her eyes, if only a little fondly.

"I'll get you front row tickets. Need a ride home?" James grabbed his keys and tossed them from hand to hand nonchalantly as they approached his dusty blue 1957 Beetle- James' pride and joy. He'd fixed it up with his friend Sirius Black last year at the same time they finished Sirius' Harley Motorbike. The boys loved to tinker with motors to pass the time in the summer, and Lily loved nothing more than to sit with her friend Marlene and watch the boys fix up the engines as they drank iced coffee.

It was almost the summer holidays now, in Bath where they lived and James was hell bent on getting Lily to drive despite her protests and straight up threats she made to him if he didn't drop the matter. But James wasn't just an ordinary guy; he was James Potter and whatever he wanted, he usually got.

The thing with James Potter was that he was ridiculously handsome in every description of the word and he used this to his advantage at every possible moment. His defence to this behaviour was always the same, however:
'Girls abuse their hotness all the time! Ask Marlene to count the amount of free drinks she's been given! She won't be able to tell you! And I'm sure you'd have the same stupidly high number if you ever went out the bloody house!' He would say, making Lily blush only slightly.

Lily wasn't like James though. She would appear introverted and perhaps a little stuck up to those who weren't familiar with her but this was definitely not the case; it was more the issue that she didn't particularly like getting familiar with a person, but once you knew Lily she was about as crazy as you get. The stuck-up manor was only a deep desire to prove herself and that she belonged in a posh grammar school rather than the public school her sister attended.
Lily's temperamental personality and James' staggering hotness made them a very unlikely pair. But it was not always like this...

Lily and James used to be worst enemies, bickering and jibing each other at the first opportunity until they were paired with each other for an English project almost two years ago where they learned that Lily wasn't a 'stuck up gorgeous bitch' and that James wasn't an 'egotistical self obsessed prick' and that they could, in fact, coexist and that they made a rather diabolical pairing for the record.

"I'll walk." Lily replied, trying not to appear scared. There was no one else with them at the time, which meant Lily would have to sit in the front seat. Every other time Lily had rode in the Beetle had been with someone else in the car, and they had always taken the front seat.

"Hey, Potter!"

Lily was about to start walking home when her saving grace and other best friend arrived.
Marlene was jogging up to them with a stupid grin on her face, her blonde hair bouncing in their curls, almost obscuring the cat eyeliner she wore so majestically.

"Potter! Give us a lift?" She pleaded desperately, tugging at his shirt (which was untucked).

"Please? I need to get to my girlfriend's house for 4! I'm meeting Dorcas' parents for the first time!" She began to bop her knees with exasperating as James smiled down at her, seemingly enjoying the power he had over her and her fate.

"I'll make it worth your while?..." she whispered, very clearly with mockery, tracing lines up his chest fondly and giving him what Sirius always called- 'the sex eyes'.

"No you won't- you're not a cheat. Get in the car McKinnon! Are you sure your not coming Lily?" James laughed as he opened the passenger door for Marlene who kissed his check dramatically and hopped in the leather seat.

"Actually, sure! You can come round mine for a bit if you want as well James?" Lily smiled and took the backseat, leaning her head over the side so she could look out backwards and still seem casual.

"Dork lives on Eastfeild Road, doesn't she, Mar?" James asked while turning the key on the car just as Marlene simultaneously pushed the button that lifted off the roof with a manicured fingernail.

"Yep, that's the one! Home James!" She waved her arms self importantly and pulled down the large sunglasses she wore on the top of her head so they covered her eyes mysteriously.

"On it." And they drove.

Even facing backwards, Lily could tell James was a good driver. He was as smooth a driver as he was a flirt, and that was the thing about James- he was usually good at everything. Captain of the football team, Head Boy (along side Lily), a star academic pupil and resident troublemaker.

He was a striking boy to say the least, how he could manage to juggle so many rolls at once was beyond Lily and so she didn't even try to comprehend it. And it wasn't just the fact he was well over the 6 foot mark that made him handsome; he was usually defined by his unruly raven hair that almost every girl in the school wanted to run her hands through. Sirius, (who knew a lot about girls for a pansexual with a boyfriend) liked to call it 'sex hair' (Sirius always found a way to relate a conversation back to sex). But perhaps Lily's favourite thing about her friend was his hazel eyes. She would never tell him but she found the way soothing honey seemed to trickle into the kind of green that a forest goes after rain rather extremely, incredibly, impossibly beautiful.

He was unbelievably beautiful and he knew it. His jawline could cut diamonds and he had the sweetest dimples that made girls swoon. His glasses always sat a little crooked on his nose which have him the adorable dork aesthetic (that was, unless, he didn't want the adorable look; in which case he could just as easily readjust his glasses and turn on his wiles).

"Here we are, m'love!" James announced as they pulled into Dorcas' street, the sun of a fast approaching golden hour was sweeping the skyline and Marlene clambered our the car.

"Go get em tiger!" Lily encouraged sarcastically.

"Ha ha." Marlene deadpanned back, leaning into the backseat to kiss her check before strutting off, flipping her leather jacket over her shoulder like it was a prop rather than an item of clothing.

"Right. Where to?" James turned his head to see Lily still positioned half facing backwards in the car, looking out onto the fields and rolling hills.

"Just take me home. You can come hang out for a bit, if you like?" Lily turned momentary to ask James the question, although she needn't have as she already knew the answer she would receive.

James flashed her a crooked smile and winked before turning the engine and setting off. He already knew where he was going- he'd been round enough times to know the place by heart.

While they drove James sang a soft tune and drummed on the wheel of the car. He knew Lily didn't particularly like talking while in the car and noticed she usually faced backwards, looking out from the roofless part and the traffic as it left them behind.

They pulled up on Lily's drive way and before Lily could react James had leaped our the car and opened the door for her with a sardonic, sweeping bow. Lily laughed before shoving him out the way in order to slam the door shut behind her.

"I can do it myself thank you very much Mr Chivalry." She sassed as James recovered from her borderline assault.

"Of course, you're a proper little Megan Markle, you are." He quipped while following her into the house.

"Hello Mrs Evans. Looking stunning as always." James charmed as he strolled in the door behind Lily.

"Afternoon James. Good day at school?"

"Tremendous, Mrs Evans!" James grinned as he pulled the orange juice out the fridge over Lily's head as she hunted for an adequate snack.

"Wonderful! I'll leave you guys to it then!" And with that Mrs Evans floated out the room blowing a kiss at Lily.

"You know you don't have to seduce my mother?" Lily scalded as she finally pulled a can of Diet Coke from the fridge.

"I'm not seducing your mother! God woman relax, mums have just always loved me!" James defended guiltily, trying his hand at puppy dog eyes (for the record- they most definitely worked).

"Just please stop putting the moves on her?!"

At this James' features broke into a shit-eating grin, "Oh I'm not putting the moves on your mum! If I was putting the moves on your mum you would both know about it!"

"I don't particularly want to find out then, Potter! The last time you put the moves on someone it resulted in broken hearts. I'm pretty sure Hestia Jones is still in love with you." Lily growled as she threw her empty Diet Coke can at him.

"No she's not, it's fine. I just break a lot of hearts, it's just my thing. I suppose being devilishly handsome has its downfalls." James commented smartly while catching the can directly on front of his face and throwing it smoothly into the bin.

"One of the immediate downfalls being that I will kick you in the balls!" Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the tie as she dragged him to her room.

"Ooh, I didn't expect you to come around so soon! Two years of friendship was all it took to get you into bed?"

She yanked at the tie rather hard, causing him to make a dramatised chocking sound. "Shut up you moron! We're going to watch tv, I just don't want you running away to flirt with my mother!"

"Ugh whatever."

✦ ✦ ✦

"What are you doing, you moron?!" Sirius scalded with a slap on his best friend's back.

James frowned, "I'm not just gonna prance up to her and tell her I'm in love with her am I?! I'm not like you Sirius! I don't get lucky with love."

And he had a point. Sirius had always found matters of the heart went in his favour, even when nothing else really did. He successfully dated Marlene McKinnon for six months of his life after telling her exactly how he felt when he felt it; and it went perfectly until they decided their relationship was more of the friendly manner and Marlene went on to date Dorcas Meadowes, having already come out as bisexual to her friends, and Sirius and Marlene still had a fantastic relationship.
It wasn't long until Remus- their other best friend- began to appeal to Sirius that he realised he wasn't as straight as he first thought... He got lucky again when he told James he was pansexual and his first reply was
'If you wanna fuck crockery it's none of my business I just thought you should know that Remus is mad for you.' And with that he shrugged innocently. It wasn't long before they were both rolling on the floor with laughter at the prospect of 'fucking crockery'.

"Just because I got lucky with Remus and Marlene doesn't mean you should be a little bitch and chicken out of asking Lily on a date!" Sirius frowned as they worked on his motorbike engine (their new summer project was fixing up a newer engine for Sirius' Harley).

"Do you remember my last girlfriend? Emmeline still wants to kill me after she thought I was cheating on her with Lily!" James replied passionately (he was known to have a short fuse when it came to Lily).

"Well, Emmy's notorious for putting two and two together and coming up with five! But she's also not blind, so can't you see where she's coming from?" Sirius shrugged, reaching over James to grab a spanner off him.

"No I cant! Me and Lil are friends, and that's all she ever wants to be with me!"

At this Sirius laughed sardonically, "are you kidding?! Have you looked in the mirror? You've got more sex appeal than sense, mate! Women drop dead at the bloody sight of you! And not gonna lie here, if I wasn't already a committed boyfriend to Rem then I'd totally have a crush on you."

James chuckled and shook his head dismissively. "Shut the fuck up and pass me the tool box you hijacked off me."

"Promise me you'll ask her before the end of term?"

"I'll do my best."

"You'll do it."

"No promises."

"Fuck off, Prongs."

But as they continued to work in the summer golden hour of Bath, Somerset he thought about what Sirius said.

He really did want to ask Lily out on a date, one day. But something always stopped him; something always knocked the breath out his body...

Sometimes it was the way her emerald eyes shone when he told her a joke, they would sparkle like real diamonds and James would silence in awe, in some sort of majesty to her.

Other times it was her beautiful smile that could light a room given the chance, it lit her whole face in a glow that only Lily could radiate, or it would be the way her freckles decorated her like a night sky.

And sometimes it wasn't something so magical. Sometimes it was just the way she flipped her bright ginger hair over shoulder so elegantly, or the way she pushed her hands down into the deep pockets of the black cord pinafore of her uniform. Or sometimes it was the way she rolled her eyes when an unfavourable teacher of hers said something obnoxious. But mostly it was just her. Nothing special about it... just her.

It was two weeks later that changed both Lily and James' life. It also happened to be the final day of school for them, and that meant it was their last ever time being in the building, being in their final year meant it was all over after that day. But what I always meant for the year 13's was that it was prank day, and it was a well known fact that nobody could run a prank like the Marauders.

"So, I was thinking a good old fashioned decoy before the main attraction. That way we can get a head start over everyone else while they drink up our decoy." Remus was grinning wolfishly as he paced the year 13's common room (which had become a briefing room for prank organisation for the whole year group the past week).

James was standing next to Remus ready to jump in when necessary and Sirius was grinning while leaning against a wall, the essence of nonchalance.

"The decoy, as we earlier discussed would be the classic syrup-on-the-door-handles but me and Sirius, here were talking last night," James chimed in, gesturing to a smug Sirius as he took control.
"And we both think that we couldn't go wrong with putting the stuff on the staircases and stuff too, I mean we know it's there? Who cares about the year 7's?"

This caused a rise of chuckles to erupt in the room before James clapped them back to earth, "but the real prank was given to me by none other than the brilliant, rule abiding, genius that is Lily Janette Evans!"

The room cheered as Lily took an awkward bow and laughed with her friends.

"Lily gave us the idea for this..." Sirius smiled wide enough to rival the Cheshire Cat as he pulled a large box from the shelf behind him, and produced a load of water guns and balloons.

"Classic water fight ladies and gents!" James smirked, presenting each student with a gun.

"Wow! This is awesome!" Marlene smirked before turning to Sirius and fixing him with a smouldering gaze, "I'm gonna destroy you, bitch!" She spat before winking in sarcastic flirtatiousness.

"Well watch your back then, McKinnon because you've made an enemy you want to see coming. And before you hit me with it?- the only reason I can't see you coming is because your too small to look over." Sirius sneered back, surrounded by oooh's from the onlookers.

"Or... forgive me but maybe if you took your head out your arse you'd see me coming? But then again there's the worry of your ego getting in the way too..."

At this Dorcas jumped up in excitement to see the fight closer up as the stare-off intensified, she was beaming, "thats my girlfriend!" Proudly as Sirius glared at her.

"Oh okay, unless you've got anything actually threatening to say then I suggest getting into position."

"Bring it Black."

Remus grabbed Sirius' hand and led him out the room trying to contain the laughter he seemed to be bursting out the seems.

"Sometimes it's hard to remember you guys are actually friends. That was intense." Remus remarked with a chuckle, before spluttering, and finally crippling over in laughter.

"I'm sorry, babe but she destroyed you?!"

Sirius grimaced, "shut up Moony! And don't try to babe me, I don't except bribes!"

"Sure."

✦ ✦ ✦

"Only ten guys got caught in the whole year, I'd consider that a win!" Remus grinned as they stepped out of their school gates for the final time, James, Sirius, Lily and Marlene not far on his tail.

"But you're forgetting one of those people was ME!" Marlene sneered at Sirius who had sabotaged her during the school wide water fight.

"Oh stop moaning about it McKinnon, it's an ugly look on you!" Sirius hit back wittily.

"Oh I'll give you an ugly look, boy!" Marlene clipped him over the ear while she said this, watching him yelp as they approached the school car park.

"You know what, Mar?" Sirius quizzed.

"What?"

"I'd rather enjoy bludgeoning you to death at this very moment. Anyone got a blunt axe handy?"

Marlene scoffed sardonically, "always."

"Slightly concerning, Marls." James commented with a raise of his eyebrow.

"It's natural protocol, babe, what kinda woman doesn't have an axe?"

Sirius held his hands up in defence, "I stand corrected."

Marlene nodded curtly in reply, "I suppose you do... bitch!"

"Come on, love!?" Dorcas groaned when Marlene added her final slur.
"I mean I get your exes or whatever but can we cut all the 'bitch' stuff, the poor guy needs a break!"

"Exactly! Dorks this is why I love you!" Sirius grinned, pulling Dorcas into his side and stroking her dark curls.

"No I love her! You are supposed to be in love with Remus!" Marlene snarled dangerously while grabbing Dorcas off him and linking their hands.

"Guys come on! I can see the problem, just because I'm such a hot piece of ass you can't both have me!" Dorcas flipped her hair dramatically, putting on an American accent and strutting like they do in the movie Mean Girls.

"You're ruining it, honey." James whispered into Dorcas' ear smirking. To which she promptly shoved him straight into Lily.

"That's my girlfriend!" Marlene laughed, kissing Dorcas' cheek and grinning.

"Jeez, I'm so sorry Lily!" James spluttered hastily, with an impish look in his eyes that made her knees weak.

"No worries, just take us to yours!"

The group had previously agreed to go round to James and Sirius' house for a party with a few of their other friends while James parents were on holiday in Inverness.

James flipped her off elegantly as he climbed into the drivers seat.

"SHOTGUN!"

"Jesus Christ, Dorcas, no need to burst my eardrums!"

Lily sighed with relief as she climbed into the back seat and looked out on to the traffic in the way she always had. Trying her best to be as subtle as possible while still interacting in their friends conversation and flashing some unspeakable hand gestures to Sirius and Marlene on his motorbike behind them.

As soon as they arrived Dorcas slammed the front door shut, "right, let's get drunk! I feel like doing something really stupid!"

Remus just laughed as James tossed him the house keys, "don't worry, darlin' you're with marauders, it's guaranteed you'll do something at least eight out of ten stupid tonight."

"Well being it on then!" She yelled as they all spilled into the house.

It didn't take them long to get a party swing going. Music boomed and people cheered until the stars replaced the sun.

Objectively speaking it was a beautiful night, the constellations shone in a clear sky, decorating the fields and lakes of Bath and James -despite hosting a successful party- wanted to enjoy it before the British weather made it too cold.

He wanted to be outside, he hadn't drunk that night in order to dive Marlene and Dorcas home like he promised earlier that night but watching all his friends get drunker and drunker made him slightly regret that decision and curse his loyalty.

The roof seemed like a good a place as any when it came to escapism, however unbeknown to him, someone had already stolen his idea.

"Lily? Whatcha doing out here?" He asked gently, climbing out his bedroom window to sit next to her on the roof.

When she didn't answer James crouched lower, trying to see where she was looking.

It was his Beetle.

And he knew exactly why.

"I know, you know?"

At this she looked up and connected her gleaming emerald eyes with his. He would have been lying if he said he didn't feel his stomach do backflips.

"What?" She breathed. There was no way he could possible know what she was thinking.

"Come on."

He held out his hand for her and stood up seamlessly.

For a second Lily didn't move.
It seemed like a bad idea, maybe he had it wrong and thought she wanted to go in the car?
But curiosity got the better of her. What if he really did know?

So she took his hand and let him take her out the back door where James car was parked.

"No. No, James I'm a little cold, I'm just gonna go insid-"

"We're not gonna go anywhere." James assured before Lily got a chance to finish her sentence, and she felt his jumper was already around her shoulders.

He held the door to the passenger seat open for her. The front seat.

She knew they weren't going anywhere but the thought of just sitting there terrified her. And the worst part was that she hadn't told anyone why.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Lil. Even if we were driving I haven't had a drink."

Eventually she nodded and sat in the seat, letting James shut the door and jog round to his own side. The roof was still open from earlier which left the summer air to lap around them gently in the night.

They were facing the fields like they were on the roof, except this time they were in a car and the deafening music of the party wasn't quite so deafening out there.

After a while Lily's head had found James shoulder as they watched the stars twinkle beneath them in silence.

"I know why you won't let me drive the car." James murmured into her ear quietly, trying his best not to interrupt the serenity of the situation.

"What?" She sat up reluctantly, her heart beating at an erratic pace.

"It's because you're scared. I've seen how you avoid being in the car alone so you don't sit in the front seat, and how you always face backwards. I just..." he trailed off in frustration, running a nervous hand through his curls.

"I just, I want to know why? And I know it's not my place to know but I want to help. You understand, don't you? I want to help."

Lily felt her heart warm at his nervousness, despite the fact fear was still coursing violently through her veins.

"I-I understand. It's just..." she sighed sadly, tearing herself away from James' intrusive gaze and looked towards the scenery beyond them.
"Petunia- my sister. She always made me sit in the back of our car when her friends came. She always pushed me in and laughed at me. Eventually she just did it because she wanted to, even if it was only the two of us in the car. She'd make up some excuse or another.
And I'd always face backwards in the boot. And now, I can't face any other way because all I can think about is how I don't deserve to be anywhere else."

James didn't answer he just pulled her into a hug. He knew what she had just said didn't require words... just actions:

"I'll tell you what? Hold onto my arm okay? And keep your eyes on me." James smiled warmly at her as he turned the key in the Beetle.

"Wait! What are you doing?" She spluttered, feeling the adrenaline rising through her body at a terrifying pace.

"I'm going to drive. And you'll be fine." He turned momentarily to look her directly in the eye, her heart filling with a thousand butterflies, fit to burst.

He leant close to her, she could smell his shampoo (it smelt like apple bonbons). She felt his hand caress her face so gently it almost wasn't there. Lily felt her eyes flutter closed as she pulled her head up to his.
Their lips touched softly and meaningfully. It was just so typically James.

"I promise." He whispered as he pulled away, still leaning his forehead on hers.

And just like that everything seemed to melt away. Every fear and every worry just flushed out her within seconds of looking into James' intoxicating hazel eyes.

And before she knew it the car was in ignition and being pulled out of the driveway.

And when looked away from James and saw the road ahead she felt finally free. It was late so there weren't any cars coming, but that didn't matter because she was looking out, onto the oncoming fields and lakes and houses and hills and for the first time since she was nine years old and she wasn't scared. Not one bit.

Just like that she realised she loved him.

They drove for what felt like hours beneath the stars and never ending skies above them, just driving. Into the night. Together. It was a perfectly random thing to do. With a perfectly perfect boy.

No fear of any kind bothered Lily again; not with James by her side to reminded her to never look back.

✦ ✦ ✦

This is dedicate to my friend siriuslylupin6 for the B99 quote in it. I'm pretty sure we joked about putting this line in a oneshot ages ago and that's why but it was like a million years ago (: