♥️ 𝒥𝒾𝓁𝓎 ♥️

【Lily had a meltdown when a crush on James Potter catches her off guard...】

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James Potter had a bit of a routine going if one could call it that. Every day, probably since fourth year, he had felt the need to throw a snitch around the corridors of Hogwarts (a snitch that may or may not have been nicked from a storage cupboard).
But what made this habit particularly hard to shake, was that it tended to involve shooting a cheeky wink at Lily Evans whenever he found himself passing her in his struts around the school. Only for a period in fifth year did the winking stop but now –the beginning of seventh year– the routine was back in full swing and had been for a jolly good while.

Lily had largely considered herself above such pathetic behaviour. Only a man insecure in his own ability to handle a snitch would be so fixated on proving his competence anywhere and everywhere, and only an arrogant toe-rag would even consider winking at anyone in the middle of a corridor, never mind someone not at all interested!

Through all the years James had taken up his little routine, Lily had found herself immune to the coquettish winks of the quidditch captain, in fact, they did little more than infuriate her. (How can anyone think they're hot enough to pull of anything like that? Especially when they look like they've just fallen backwards off a mobile broomstick!) No matter how many times James would strut the halls like he owned them, even if he had background music to accompany him, he still didn't seem to get the message.

He'd travel with an entourage too. That annoyed her. The rest of the marauders would be there with him, acting as if this riotous behaviour was normal. 'Just James'. And more often than not Sirius Black would be doing something similar but at least he was too busy ogling Remus Lupin to bother winking at her.

For a while it was fine. Most things always begun fine, until one day they were miraculously and extremely very not fine. One spends most of their time waiting for the fine to turn into a disaster but the trouble with that was that no one can really know when things might change.

It was a random Tuesday in early October that all things absolutely not fine decided to show themselves. Lily was attempting to push through the influx of students to get to her first class after lunch with her best friend Mary. As if on queue, a group of four boys made their way down the corridor, smirking as the crowds parted like seawater for them.

Low and behold, Lily noticed, James Potter was leading the pack, snitch in hand and a mischievous grin on his lips.

She rolled her eyes. Customary behaviour. James threw her a smug wink and that was when something odd happened: Lily gasped, hands thrown over her mouth, eyes wide and knees buckling– the works.

"Lily!" Mary cried, rushing to hold her friend's arm and attempt to make sense of what the poor redhead was saying but all she managed to catch was 'fuckohfuckohfuck' and a plethora of versions like, 'stupid bloody boy and his winks. stupid bloody snitches.'

By the time Lily became coherent the hallways were empty and most students were in class. For the first time in history Lily didn't seem to be bothered by the fact she wasn't one of them. In fact, she didn't even seem to register she was late.

"Lily, shut up and start again. I love you but you've gone insane!"

"I-... merlin, are we late?!"

"Um... yeah, but that's not exactly important to me right now, what's the matter with you?"

To Mary's dismay, she was ignored.
"We're late?!" And without another word the redhead shot off to lessons, leaving behind a flummoxed Mary, nearly strangled with the tension of not knowing why Lily had nearly taken a heart attack.

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It was only once she was settled in the library, Mary on one side and Marlene on the other, that Lily finally managed to stay lucid enough to explain the hiatus of her senses earlier that morning.

All through the day she seemed to be floating around on auto-pilot, twice she'd nearly went to the wrong class before Marlene dragged her back to earth (or Charms, whichever way one chooses to phrase it).

"Right. I'm dying with the tension, Lil. You know how nosy I am. I can't take it!" Mary whispered, her voice edging on a hiss from their table huddled in the corner. Across the room were the marauders; James with his snitch, Remus with his book, Sirius trying to steal it and Peter pouring over a transfiguration essay, occasionally receiving help from James.

"Okay, promise not to be loud when I tell you?"

"No?!" Marlene scoffed as if the proposal was nothing short of the most preposterous thing she'd ever heard.

Lily gave her a murderous look and Marlene nodded, still vaguely smirking.
"Good. So, you know how Potter always has that snitch of his?"

"We do, yes."

"Actually I helped him nick it in fourth year."

"Marlene!"

"What? Sirius was sick that day and I was bored. It's hardly the crime of the century!"

Mary laughed, throwing her head back and letting her curls bounce behind her, "I think Lily's more concerned about the 'conversing with the enemy,' sweetie."

"Well then she can sod off, you lot never let me have fun 'cause you've got 'principles' or whatever."

Lily swatted her on the arm and the matter was laid to rest.
"As I was saying," the Head Girl resumed, "the marauders have that routine, don't they? When they strut down the corridors like London Fashion Week and Potter has his ridiculous snitch that he chucks about... and he winks at me too."

"This is all well and good, Lily, but can we cut to the chase before I shit blood?!" (Marlene received her second thump of the day, this time on the back of the head from Mary).

"Yes! So Potter winks at me and usually it's fine. Expect today it wasn't. It was not even close to fine."

"What do you mean?"

"Well my stomach sort of dropped and I got this floaty feeling, I'm not sure how one describes it but I felt all light headed and happy. I think the world might be coming to an end."

Both of the other girls had their mouths wide open, they might have caught flies if they were in season.
"You don't mean to say they were... butterflies, do you?"

"Holy shit! You fancy Potter!"

"No I don't!" Lily cried, shushing her friends before the boy in question noticed their conversation. "I don't I just... I just..."

"You fancy him."

"I don't!"

"Then what?"

Lily frowned, looking for a way to justify this absurd behaviour. It was difficult to think when James was right there, with his soft curls, and his rosy cheeks, and his glasses slipping down his nose, and his shirt sleeves rolled up and... "Fuck!"

The other girls giggled in fits; acting like utter children as far as Lily was concerned.
"Lily, you're such an idiot!"

"Shut up! I just... think he's... attractive? I think I was immune before. Why didn't anyone tell me he was handsome?"

It was at this point Marlene had begun to lose patience in her best friend, placing her face in her hands and taking a deep breath, as if keeping her hands away from Lily's neck was taking great strain and self preservation.
"Do you think we haven't tried? Literally everyone knows he's good looking. He's a quidditch captain, he's, like, six bloody feet tall and he's a bloody marauder! For the love of Agrippa, you must have known! I know! I've been dating a girl for nearly three years!"

"It's true, sweetie," Mary added, a look of something like sympathy on her soft face, "it's a fact. And as many death eater sympathisers will try to tell you: 'facts don't care about your feelings'."

Lily nearly died on the spot. Why today? Why did it have to be a random Tuesday in October that she decided to find James bloody Potter absolutely gorgeous? It simply wasn't fair. Especially because she highly doubted he was still hung up on a nïeve little playground crush like he was in fourth year. If Lily had any sense she'd have just fallen in love with someone more manageable like Quinton Roberts, or Isaac Adams— hell, she'd even prefer Remus Lupin over this. But no, she got stuck with James Potter. The boy who'd been winking at her for nearly three years, the boy whom she'd waved off every time until his flirting became more of a habit now he'd moved on. Perhaps the worst boy in the world to fall for and yet she'd managed it.

Great job, Evans, she thought, following Marlene's example and placing her head in her hands and letting out a long groan for good measure. Real good job.

To her dismay when she looked up James was still there, throwing that blasted snitch and looking fucking beautiful.
He turned around as if he'd felt her staring and shot her another wink. Her stomach fell into knots. Oh no...

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And so it continued. Every day the marauders would pass her by, and everyday James would send her that ridiculous wink of his, and every time she would blush like a schoolgirl. Pathetic.

Weeks went by and she didn't say a word about it. Pretending that nothing was going on whenever they held prefect meetings together and subtly finding ways to avoid patrol rotas they had scheduled.

For a while it seemed to work fine, no-one seemed to question why Lily seemed to find a way to sit behind James in lessons so he wouldn't talk to her (and she could still admire his pretty curls and the way he looked when he threw his head back to laugh at something Remus had whispered to him). It was fine.

Really. It was fine.

But on a not-so-random Saturday in late October it became very extremely not fine. It was halloween that day and it was customary for a ball to be held in the great hall, decorated with millions of pumpkins and cobwebs etc. Lily and James had spent hours pouring over decorations on the run up to the ball (work that couldn't be avoided but Lily had tried her best to keep strictly professional).

She sat alone after having excused herself dancing with Mary who had now stolen Remus from his boyfriend and was turning him under her arm (an impressive feat considering he was more than a foot taller than her).

She hadn't heard the figure appear behind her. Not until, that is, his mouth was right next to her ear.
"You fancy me." It said –this voice– in a low sort of tone that still managed to be clear as day in her ear despite the music bouncing off the walls.

Lily's body froze. The voice was thick with amusement, she could taste the smile on its lips, even before a face joined the voice by taking a seat beside her.

James Potter was watching her with a curious but amused –maybe even slightly endeared– eye. His head was cocked to the side and his smirk was infuriating.

Lily wished to say something witty, something defensive that would stop this conversation from going ahead. She'd do just about anything to be anywhere but here. But witty retorts seemed to be in high demand and clearly they'd run out because all Lily managed to choke out was: "I beg your pardon?"

The bastard laughed, then. His sparkling eyes filled with mirth that made him incredibly easy to slap.
"I said you fancy me, don't you?"

When Lily didn't respond he shuffled closer so he could speak over the music (she didn't trust herself enough to offer they go somewhere private).

"I've had girls fancy me before, I tend to recognise the symptoms: hair flipping, killer smiles, floozy giggles– you know? The whole nine yards. But not you. You had the rare idea of trying to ignore me completely."

Lily cursed herself. So he had noticed.

"You moved patrols, you never waited for me after meetings and you avoid being in our common room unless someone else is there too. At first I thought you had a problem with me. I thought you hated me. Actually, it was Marlene that hinted I should look at it from another angle. I figured she knew you better than me, so I did. And I arrived here. Forgive me if I've skipped a few clues, I'm not exactly Holmes, nor am I twat, so I presume my deductions are at least partly on target– otherwise you wouldn't look like the ghost decorations hanging from the ceiling. Either that or there's something dodgy in the chocolate cake. If so, someone might want to inform Remus. He loves the stuff."

If she wasn't so stunned then Lily might have began plotting her best friend's demise. I'm going to kill that bloody girl.

"Very clever, Potter."

"I thought so too. Though I have a tender ego and would love it if you confirmed my stroke of genius."

There were a million things Lily might have done then. The most logical would be to politely deny knowledge of the whole matter; the most ridiculous would be to tell him about the way he winks with that bloody snitch of his that might just kill her; and the most desirable of options would be to fake a heart attack, although admittedly, not her smartest.

Instead she did something much worse. Sirius must have spiked the punch because Lily took one look at James. This incredible, funny, talented, gorgeous, arrogant, over-confident bastard and kissed him firmly on the lips; yanking a fistful of his shirt in the process but he didn't seem to mind.

The kiss didn't last long but the memory would. When she pulled away James was watching her beneath his spectacles, hazel eyes wide with emotion it was too dark to place.

"Oh," he said, "oh."
Then he kissed her again.

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James never did shake the habit. Anytime he saw his girlfriend in the corridor he'd wink at her; a smirk on his lips and a snitch in his hand. It seemed customary nowadays.

"You've got to stop doing that," she told him one day when she'd stopped him in the corridor; his friends had gone ahead but Lily had her arms wrapped around his middle and her chin on his chest, so he was finding it difficult to care.

"Doing what?"

"Winking at me like that. With that sodding snitch and that sodding smile."

James grinned, cupping her cheek in one hand and relishing the way she leant into him.
"Why ever not, oh, light-of-my-life?

She rolled her eyes and his smile grew.
"Because if you do then I might just fancy you more and more."

At this James winked again, his smile becoming coquettish over fond.
"Then I'll endeavour to wink at you as much as humanly possible, in hope that one day you might fall in love with me."

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Forgive me, most of this was written in my bed at ungodly hours so it's not my best but I thought the idea was kinda funny :)