「 love is a burning thing
and it makes a fiery ring
bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire」

♫johnny cash; ring of fire

✩ s a n ✩

Regret would only ruin your life, like a shadow in your mind following you every day to cause you harm - or so San told himself.

But deep down in his stone cold heart, a strange feeling had started to blossom. When and where exactly it had begun was uncertain, and how to get rid of it was just as big of a mystery.

San felt his mind keep drifting back to the days at the beach, with the evening sunlight falling around Hongjoong's head like a beautiful, shining flower crown. The way his delicate facial features would pull up in soft smiles and peachy blushes whenever San touched his cheeks, was something that was currently haunting San relentlessly.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he grumbled to himself, one Thursday at work where the atmosphere in the shared office was still uncomfortable after Seonghwa just paying a visit to it.

Jongho looked up from the papers at his own desk, shooting a glare across the room.

"What?" he asked, just as his eyes fell back to the work in front of him.

"Nothing..." San mumbled back.

To everyone else, the usual scolding from his older brother would be enough to explain his sudden outburst, but San knew the real reason why.

And he hated it.

With the second phase of his plan already set into motion, he did not have time to get distracted by sudden and unwanted feelings. Pushing his back against the chair, he folded his hands in his lap and stared into the room. Jongho returned to actually working, intensely staring at every page of the stack of papers.

Seonghwa had been acting extra smug lately, and the idea of what the reason might be, made San feel sick. Going to work was like stepping straight into Hell, and it only got worse by each day. Seonghwa would yell at San about every stupid little thing, and at the same time he would praise Jongho - something that had strained the bond between the two younger brothers even more, when they saw each other in the discomfort of their workplace.

San was on his own. But thankfully, he wouldn't have to look at the older's face much longer - if things just turned out as he wanted it to.

When everything was over, maybe he could try exploring the feelings inside of him - maybe he would finally know how it felt to care about someone other than himself.

Maybe he would...

Or maybe it was simply too late...

✩

"This is an extremely dangerous idea," the deep voice said, from underneath the large shadow of the usual black hat.

"I know," San replied. "But it is the only way. And we need to act fast, time is running out. Did you get the things I asked you to?"

The man nodded, and a bag was shoved across the floor under the table between them, pushing against San's leg. A smirk showed on his face, and without further conversation, the other male got up and left the sleazy bar - and disappeared into the night.

San waited behind twenty minutes after that, slowly finishing the disgusting drink he had ordered. His eyes glanced across the room, at the people sitting at the other tables - tired, rundown faces with dead eyes. What a depressing place this was, this entire area of the city actually.

After throwing the bag into the trunk of the car, and telling his driver where to go, San was heading back - but when he looked out the window he felt a strange rush in his body. He knew this area was close to where Hongjoong worked, and the thought of the stripper made his heart beat faster.

"Goddamnit..." he grumbled. "I changed my mind, we are heading to a different location."

They didn't need to talk, Hongjoong most likely didn't want to either - but San had to see him, even if it meant from afar. A simple look wouldn't hurt.

But at the strip club waited a disappointment. Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen, and when asking for him at the bar, the reply was that he wasn't working these days. San's brows furrowed down, as he slowly walked towards the exit again - but just when he was about to leave, he saw a familiar face passing by.

"Song Mingi?" San called out towards the taller guy, without even questioning his own need to do it.

"Yes?"

When Mingi turned around, his face changed within seconds, and a hostile look was meeting San's eyes.

"What do you want?" the taller growled, stepping closer.

"Not here to cause any trouble," San stated, and with his next words a fluttering feeling spread in his stomach. "I know Hongjoong is mad at me, but I'm going to make things right."

Mingi's face changed again, this time from rather angry to confused - it softened up just slightly, as he tilted his head to the side and looked at San with questioning eyes.

"Is he not with you?" he then asked.

"What do you mean?"

"He... He hasn't been home for days... I got a text from him saying he was fine, but needed some time away from everything. I thought he just bailed on me to... Stay at your place? And he left me dead worried, not answering at all for eight days now!"

San's face turned just as confused looking as Mingi standing in front of him - he had figured the taller knew what had happened, and the angry look on his face would have turned into a fist in San's own if he wasn't careful.

"No... But I think I know where he is..." San turned around and left the club with fast steps, leaving Mingi standing behind even more confused than before.

His heart was about to explode in his chest, when he got back into the car - and San did not like how it felt. While driving through the city, all he could think about was how he could get Hongjoong out from Seonghwa's deadly claws without ruining his own plans too much.

"Fuck!" he snapped at himself.

He did not have time for this, he had to remember that! It was too late to lose focus like this, and if he wasted just one single second more than he already had, everything he had planned to set up would have been a waste - and the one losing the war would be him.

But between his plan and the draining work days, hidden in the darkness of his heart that had been wrecked years before, was something that would turn out just as dangerous as his hate towards Seonghwa.

✩

San hung up the phone, smiling at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall in his bedroom. Sleep wasn't something he had gotten the privilege to enjoy lately, and it showed on his face - but he didn't care. He was so close to the finish line now, all it took was one last step, and he would finally see Seonghwa fall back into the flames of Hell where he belonged.

Perhaps tonight, he would actually get a good night's sleep. San had been working hard and long - but not on something to benefit his family's company, or, some might say that getting rid of Seonghwa would be the biggest benefit of all...

Every little detail to ever have happened in his older brother's life, was stored inside his mind, and also in his safe. He had gotten everything he needed, and even more. Seonghwa would either spend the rest of his pathetic life in jail - or he would get so frustrated at the confrontation that he might end up dead. By complete own free will of course, suicide would be the easier way out for him after all, when all the information San had on him would get out.

Another smile met his eyes in the reflection, when San thought of the delightful sight of watching his devil brother bleed to death right in front of him.

Outside the windows, the city was sleeping peacefully, so unaware of what was about to happen.

A buzzing sound coming from his phone of the night stand pulled San out of his thoughts, and his eyes widened up when they saw the name that was lighting up on the screen.

"Hello?"

"... San...?" The voice was weak, raspy, and echoing in what seemed like complete emptiness from all around.

"Hongjoong... Are you okay?"

"I... I don't know... I don't know where I am... San... I'm so scared..."

It sounded like he couldn't breathe properly, as Hongjoong struggled to get his words out, and it caused a small pinch to happen in San's heart - one he failed to ignore.

Despite the endless amount of times he told himself not to care, he couldn't stop. Something was wrong, and with everything else ready, it wouldn't hurt him to pick Hongjoong up and get him back home in safety.

"Do you know how to turn out share location on your phone?" he asked, already heading for the door.

"Yes... I think so..."

"Okay, then do it. I'll come get you, I promise!"