「 I'll drink what you leak
and I'll smoke what you sigh
see across the room
with a look in your eye 」

♫ the pretty reckless; my medicine

✩ h o n g j o o n g ✩

The springs inside the old mattress, felt even more uncomfortable than usual, after spending just one night in the luxurious bed in San's apartment - wrapped in the softest silk and lies disguised as promises.

Hongjoong rolled restlessly around on his bed, phone in his hands - busy sending dirty texts to San's number. It was all just fun and games, Hongjoong knew that and he played his part perfectly. Although some of the things San wrote back, did turn him on a little, Hongjoong did his best to keep his head clear.

San could try to play the nice guy all he wanted to, but Hongjoong wasn't going to fall into the dangerous web of lies that the playboy had hidden under his sweet words. His lips were dripping with poison that tasted just like honey, but Hongjoong saw straight through him.

Why San was spending this much time and money on him, was a question left in the unknown. Hongjoong had no idea, and frankly - he didn't care much either. He told himself he had everything under control, and for now he was just in it for the thrill of it.

And to get over the beautiful brunette, which he had avoided with all his might for days now. His heart had been in his throat every time he saw Yeosang at work, and whenever Wooyoung came around, Hongjoong had left as soon as he possibly could. No more hanging out at the bar till the club closed for the night - no, he just went home to stay alone in his bedroom instead.

"You changed your hair?" Mingi asked, popping his head into Hongjoong's room.

"Yep..." Hongjoong simply replied.

Mingi just nodded, he didn't ask any questions, because he already knew the reason why Hongjoong had went with the baby pink hair in the first place. But a tiny smile did tug the corners of the taller's lips, when he looked at his best friend's new hair - and the decision to finally move on.

"It suits you better," Mingi said, as he leaned his long body against the doorframe. "What are you doing?"

"Just having some fun with that San guy..." Hongjoong mumbled from his bed.

"Still?" Mingi scoffed, "Thought you said he was a player?"

"He is..." With a quick shrug of his shoulders, Hongjoong looked at his taller friend. "But it's kinda fun... He is trying so hard, but I have no idea why. He must think I'm just another fool he can play like he wants, so I was thinking... Maybe, I should invite him over, and see just how far I can push him?"

Hongjoong rolled over onto his side, and the bed creaked with displeasure under him. If San thought he had Hongjoong right where he wanted him, he was dead wrong, and Hongjoong was going to challenge him until the very end.

"Well... I'll probably swing by Seonghwa's place after work tonight, so I guess I won't be home before tomorrow... Just be careful, Joo," Mingi said from the door, knocking on the wall to get Hongjoong's attention.

"Don't worry, I will. And who knows, maybe this place will scare him off right away," Hongjoong laughed. "I mean... He's used to luxury and castles and shit. His true colors will surely come out, before he even steps inside this apartment."

And with that, Hongjoong unlocked his phone again, and changed the sexual conversation completely...

Hongjoong:
So... Wanna hang out tonight?

San:
Sure. Where should we go?

Hongjoong:
Why don't you just come over to my place?

San:
Your place?
I was thinking more like taking you out to a nice restaurant, but okay...

Hongjoong:
Not everything has to be super fancy all the time, you know?
You still have my address, right?

San:
Yes. See you at 7 then.

☆

"Well this sure is... Something else..." San mumbled, as he skeptically looked around the apartment, clenching onto the roses and the bottle of wine he held in his hands, like his life depended on it.

But Hongjoong didn't care about the complete lack of admiration for his home, he knew it was shit - hell, he and Mingi dissed the place on the daily anyway. The cracks in the walls, near the floor, the old couch that should've been thrown out ages ago, the windowsills that used to be white - but now was yellow-stained with nicotine.

"It's a shit-hole, I know," Hongjoong said with a shrug.

He did recall the frown on San's face when he had dropped him off in front of the old apartment complex, earlier that same day, but it was nothing compared to the look on the dark haired's face, as he walked into the shabby, but not very chic, living room.

"Do you even own a vase?" San chuckled, waving the roses back and forth in front of his chest.

Pursing his lips, Hongjoong went on a hunt in the small kitchen, well aware that they in fact did not own an actual vase, but there had to be something he could use. In the end, the only thing he could find was a large jar that had been left in the back of one of the cupboards, from back when Mingi had had a period of only eating pickled cucumbers.

Ignoring the look San was giving him, Hongjoong filled the empty jar with water before walking over to place it on the dining table. He then turned to look at San, who slowly came closer, although with a brow raised the entire time.

"What's the problem?" Hongjoong laughed, as he had put the roses into the jar. "Fits perfectly!"

San didn't reply, instead he just looked at Hongjoong with an obviously forced smile. Sending a similar one right back, Hongjoong went to smoke by the window. Whatever San's motive was, for spending time with him - Hongjoong had yet to figure out, but until he did he was going to have some fun.

"So..." San said, walking cautiously around on the creaking wooden floor. "Since I'm not taking you out tonight... What do you usually eat for dinner then?"

"Cereal," Hongjoong promtply responded. "And sometimes Gi-... Mingi brings home tteokbokki from the small restaurant at the corner. It's pretty good. If you want it, we can eat it tonight?"

"No thanks, all that starch isn't good for your body, you know?" It then came from San, who was frowning by the dinner offer.

Hongjoong tilted his head to the side, smoke flowing from his lips and out the open window, while he tried to hold back a laugh.

"You realize you're talking to a chain-smoking stripper, with an alcohol problem, right?"

"Sorry, I guess I just don't see you that way," San smiled, slowly stepping closer to wrap his arms around Hongjoong's waist. With his face nuzzled into the golden hair, he added: "To me you're just perfect."

"Okay that was gross!" Hongjoong scoffed, trying to push San away, with a disgusted look on his face. "Don't say stuff like that again..."

The rest of the evening went by, with San frowning at pretty much everything Hongjoong showed him in the sad excuse for an apartment, but he still stayed - to Hongjoong's big surprise. And even when they ended up having cereal for dinner, eaten sitting on the old couch, San didn't complain at all.

When dinner was over, Hongjoong suggested that they watched a movie - which so happened to be shown on the laptop he and Mingi rarely used. The only technology they actually bothered spending some kind of money on, were their phones. The laptop on the other hand, had definitely seen better days - the screen part couldn't stay up by itself, and had to be supported by a wire-hanger they had bent out of shape, and somehow managed to attach to keep it up.

"You've never watched this?" Hongjoong asked in disbelief, looking at San like he was some kind of alien. "You've never watched Gone with the Wind? Really? What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know? I just haven't?" San shrugged his shoulders, as he sat down on the couch - carrying the closest he could find to something that resembled wineglasses. "Let's just watch it then."

"Well, it's almost four hours long..." It didn't bother Hongjoong though, it was one of his favorite movies, which he had seen a hundred times already - it simply had everything; the love story, the war, the drama and the heartbreak.

"Okay? It's fine, I'm in no rush," San assured him.

The bottle of wine was empty about an hour and a half into the movie, and red wine always had a way of making Hongjoong's head feel a little heavy. He eventually gave in, and automatically leaned in against San who was sitting next to him.

"You seem tired? Let's get you to bed," San mumbled into Hongjoong's hair, stroking his arm with gentle touches.

"But I want to watch the rest," Hongjoong said with a small whine, followed by a yawn.

"That is the wonderful thing about a laptop," San chuckled, "You can move it! Well... Not quite sure about this abomination, but in general, you know?"

Ruffling Hongjoong's hair a little, San got up and helped Hongjoong to stand on his tired legs. The taller then proceeded to follow Hongjoong into his bed, and afterwards he went back into the living room to get the old laptop. Having it set up on the corner of Hongjoong's bed, San sat down on the edge.

"It's actually not that bad," San then said, tilting his head towards the laptop where the movie was still playing.

"Watch the rest with me then," Hongjoong mumbled, already snuggled underneath the duvet, hugging the pillow with his arms.

San got into the bed, wrapping his arm around Hongjoong from behind - and the warmth from his body felt too damn good. Calming.

They didn't talk much during the next part of the movie, Hongjoong was drifting off to sleep in San's embrace, enjoying how nice it felt to have someone hold him and nuzzle his hair, while San actually seemed very invested in the movie, letting out small sounds and noises that very well indicated his feelings towards the current scenes.

Soft kisses were making their way from Hongjoong's shoulder and up his neck, and he hummed quietly at the lovely feeling. Hongjoong turned around so they faced each other, although only lit up by the light from the laptop screen.

San moved to lie halfway on top of him, but the way the dark eyes had softened up showed that it for once, wasn't sex San had in mind. Hongjoong reached out to put his arms around San's neck, pulling him a bit closer - their noses nuzzling against each other, and their lips so very close to touching.

Hongjoong hadn't kissed anyone but Yeosang for more than two years. He would put his body on full display, let people touch him for money, but he swore he wouldn't kiss anyone besides the beautiful boy he loved so dearly. And Yeosang didn't kiss often either, of the exact same reason, despite the fact that the one he loved wasn't Hongjoong.

But in this surprisingly soft moment, Hongjoong felt himself longing for the thing he had put limits on. It was just a kiss, it wouldn't be a big deal, right?

The need only grew, as both of them placed teasing kissing on each other's necks and jaws, on the cheeks and so very, very close to each other's lips. But Hongjoong still held back.

Although it was killing him inside.

☆

Morning came, pushing rays of sunshine through the windows, and Hongjoong once again woke up in San's arms. They didn't have sex last night, nor did they actually kiss. And it had left Hongjoong with a strange, empty feeling inside.

San woke up shortly after, blinking his eyes a few times, to find focus in the bright sunlight that didn't get blocked by the lack of curtains. When he smiled softly, his dark hair a complete mess around his divine face, Hongjoong couldn't help but smile back - just as softly.

"Last night was lovely, thank you," San said as they were about to say goodbye at the door.

"No problem..." Hongjoong mumbled, leaning as casually as he could against the wall.

"I hate that I have to go but... I'll see you again soon, I hope?" Stepping forward, San was soon so close he could stroke Hongjoong's cheek and play with his hair.

Hongjoong couldn't help but let his own hands run down the taller's torso, feeling the toned body underneath that light blue Oxford shirt. And when he moved his head to look up, his lips were so dangerously close to San's.

"Hey, I'm home!" Mingi's voice shouted next to them, the same second as he opened the door.

San took a step backwards, and Hongjoong looked around in utter confusion of having been pulled straight out of a moment, where he was this close to losing himself completely.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, just have to grab something from my room, and then I'm off again!"

But Mingi wasn't alone, behind him stood Seonghwa, and as soon as the older stepped into the hallway, an intense and awkward silence rammed through the apartment.

Hongjoong watched in absolute confusion, how San's face suddenly changed - drastically. The softness that had touched him earlier had vanished within seconds, and his eyes were glaring at Seonghwa with a darkness Hongjoong had never seen before.

Seonghwa looked back and forth between San and Hongjoong, but he remained silent, although a gloating smile seemed to play at the corners of his lips.

"Okay... Bye..." San grabbed his coat, and only looked at Hongjoong very briefly, before pushing himself by Seonghwa and out the door.

The silence that was left behind, was so uncomfortable, and Hongjoong prayed that Mingi would return soon. The look in Seonghwa's eyes was scaring him to death - and he didn't even know why.

"What was my brother doing here?" Seonghwa asked, finally breaking the silence - his voice low, but aggressive.

"S-San is your brother?" Hongjoong's eyes widened up, and he felt like his head was about to explode.

"Yes..." Seonghwa sighed "One of the two complete pieces of useless shit that I'm unfortunate enough to have to call my younger brothers. But I'm warning you now, Hongjoong, stay away from him. You have no idea what kind of evil that lures behind that charming face."

"What do you mean?" The question left his lips, before Hongjoong even got to figure out if he actually wanted to know or not.

"Well... I'll pick you up later, I think you deserve to hear everything."

A dark smirk danced across Seonghwa's face, but Hongjoong was too bewildered to even register...