Lute clutched on her shoulder where her arm was no longer there, ripped out, as good blood dripped down from it. She had just came back from the battle down in Hell, she had just lost Adam...she knew he was gone.....forever.

"No..." She silently cried, feeling like an absolute failure for not being able to save Adam.

She gritted her teeth as tears kept rolling down her eyes, till she heard someone speak.

"Lute?"

She jolted herself up and straightened herself and stood up properly. "Yes..?"

You slowly approached her with worried expression on your face.
"Are you okay?" You asked her.

Lute quickly rubbed the rest of her tears away and sniffled. "I'm fine...just go away.." Lute said as she looked at you, but her voice sounded a bit shaky and...weak?

Her hair was a bit of a mess and she was still in her exorcist outfit.
Lute continued to cry, as she hugged her legs and hid her face into her knees, not wanting you to see the state she was in right now. "Please...just go" she croaked, as she sniffed.

As you noticed her condition, you felt a pang of sadness in your chest, seeing her in such a state.
You decided to ignore her request and walked over to her, crouching down in front of her.

Lute looked at you defiantly, but she made no attempt to push you away.
She was too tired to argue and just let you sit next to her, still softly crying.

You sat dow next to her, watching her cry for a moment before speaking in a soft and gentle tone.
"Lute..what happened?"

She glanced at you, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She took a deep and shaky breath. "It's nothing..."
But the way she was sniffling and wiping away her tears told you otherwise.

"Lute, please don't lie to me" You said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "You can tell me, I'll wait for you"

Lute winced at your touch, but didn't pull away. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. "I just...I miss Adam.."

Your heart ached as you heard Lute's words, feeling a wave of sympathy wash over you. Sure...Adam was a bit of a jerk and you didn't like him one bit...but hearing Lute say that she missed him made you feel bad for her.
"I understand" You said quietly, slowly rubbing the back of her shoulder.

Lute trembled at your touch, but still didn't try to push you away. She looked away, her voice quivering as she spoke.

"I just...can't stop thinking about him..the way he fought those demons. The way he....the way he died.."
She hiccuped and brought a hand to her mouth, trying to hold back more tears.

You noticed how she was struggling to hold back more tears. You scooted closer to her and gently placed a hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly. "Just let it out, Lute. It's okay to cry"

Lute's body shuddered at your touch, and she couldn't hold back her emotions anymore. She buried her face into you and began to cry harder, her body shaking with sobs.

You wrapped an arm around her, awkwardly pulling her into a loose hug.
You let her cry, gently rubbing her back and just holding her as she wept.
"Shh..shhh..it's alright.." you whispered, trying to offer some comfort.

Lute clung to you, her hands grabbing onto your shirt tightly. She cried and sobbed uncontrollably, all the built up emotions from Adam's death and from bottling up her feelings finally coming to the surface.
"I..I miss him so much.." she managed to get out between sobs.

You held her tighter, feeling her tears wet against your shirt. You continued to rub her back, just letting her cry and getting it all out.
"I know, Lute...I know.." you said softly.

She continued to cry for what seemed like an eternity, and finally her sobs began to die down.

She slowly released her grip on your shirt and pulled back slightly, looking up at you with tear stained eyes.
"I..I'm sorry.." she mumbled, her voice hoarse from crying.

"You don't need to apologize, Lute.."
You said, offering her a small smile.
"You're just hurting right now." You gently brushed away some of her tears with your thumb, just looking at her for a moment.
Lute looked at you, her expression a mix of vulnerability and shame.
"I..I'm just..." she paused, not sure how to put her thoughts into words. "I'm just..I'm not used to feeling like this. I hate it.." She sniffed.

You gave her a sympathetic look, realizing how foreign this must be for her.

"I know. But it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes, Lute. You don't have to be strong all the time.."
You gently cupped her cheek, wiping away some more stray tears.

She leaned into your touch, her eyes falling half-lidded.
"I..I just..feel like I should be stronger.." she whispered, her voice still quavering slightly. "I'm supposed to be an exorcist, a fighter..."

"Being strong doesn't mean you can't feel emotions, Lute." You said gently, your thumb grazing along her cheekbone.
"You're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to mourn. You're allowed to hurt."

Lute looked at you, her eyes still watery and full of sorrow. "But..what if I'm letting everyone down?"
She asked, her hands clenching into fists in her lap.
"What if I'm seen as...weak?"

"You're not weak, Lute. You're strong...the strongest exorcist I've seen in Heaven" You softly said to her with a soft expression in your eyes.

Lute looked at you, a tinge of surprise and disbelief in her eyes. "But how can you say that when I'm sitting here, crying like a bitch?" She said bitterly, wiping more tears from her eyes.
"Adam says crying just means you're weak...and..he's right" She sniffled and rubbed her eyes.

You gently took her hands in yours, looking her directly in the eyes.
"Lute, just because you're crying right now, doesn't mean you're weak." You squeezed her hands reassuringly. "It takes a lot of courage to show vulnerability, especially for someone like you."

Lute's gaze softened as she looked at you, your words sinking in.

"But what if I disappoint everyone?"
She asked quietly, her voice laced with insecurity. "What if everyone see me differently now? What if the exorcists see me differently...and Sera..what if she also sees me-

You quickly shushed her and gently rubbed her cheek. "That doesn't matter, but if they do...then they don't know what true feelings are" You softly smiled at her, she seemed so...helpless in this state, like a lost puppy that lost their owner.

Lute let your words sink into her and she nodded and sniffled. "Yeah....thanks..for being here for me"

You nodded and smiled, as you laid your chin on her head, rubbing her back.
Lute insisted blushed red. What was this feeling she was having right now? It wasn't the feeling of sadness...it was something else...something warm...and...love?

Love? Could this be what this feeling is? N-No...it can't, that's impossible..
Lute thought to herself in her head, but shook it off.

"You're really beautiful, you know?" You said with a teasing tone. Lute turned red again from embarrassment.

"S-Stop...I hate that...and this feeling" Lute muttered and hid her face in your shoulder. Feeling embarrassed, but a little bit relieved after crying, so she just kept her face hidden in your shoulder...but she wanted to say three words to you, but couldn't say...

"I love you..."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Wrote this while listening to the song
Crybaby, by Melanie Martinez 😘😘😘

UGH!!!!! Such a beautiful babe 😍🥰
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••