( 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖾 (𝗍𝗓) , 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗅𝖾𝗂𝗇𝖾 )

𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗲 (𝘁𝘇)
hiii

𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗲 (𝘁𝘇)
this is trevor, please unblock
me so that i can text u from
my phone

𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗲
just text me here

𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗲 (𝘁𝘇)
don't want cole snooping on
our conversation

𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗲
delete it afterwards

𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗲 (𝘁𝘇)
maddie ffs

𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗲
fine

𝕸adeleine bites the tip of her thumb, staring intently at her screen debating whether she should just avoid Trevor and not unblock his contact.

The thing is, she didn't block him because he left her.

She hates admitting it but when it comes to her back during the first few months of their breakup, she was really really weak. Had he shown up at her doorstep, apologised and asked for a second chance she would've taken him back in a heartbeat.

So, no she did not block her ex-boyfriend because he broke her heart.

She blocked him because she couldn't trust herself.

He'd full-on drunk called her once, mumbling some gibberish until he hung up mid sentence. The next time he called her, she could tell he was close to tipsy.

Still, he knew what he was saying.

And she listened.

"I fucked up, God you're like, everything to me? What the fuck did I do? I don't love you? Is that what I said? You should've pushed me in front of a moving car, God Lena I-", he'd taken a shuddering breath.

She had gripped her phone, sitting on the edge of her bed staring out the half drawn curtains at the New York City skyline while he sat somewhere in a bar on the other side of the country, half drunk and thinking about her.

There was silence for a solid two minutes yet Madeleine couldn't find it in herself to hang up or even ask if he was still there.

She didn't care. At least she was still on his mind, that meant at least something between them was real. She hadn't imagined it.

She'd sniffled in a poor attempt to keep her already falling tears at bay but he'd heard her and though a part of her did not want him to hear her, another bigger vengeful part wanted him to hear her pain, to know what he had done to her so that he could feel worse.

"You're crying", his voice had wavered as if he too was on the verge of bursting into tears while on the phone with the girl whose heart he mutilated.

"No, you bitch. I'm fucking laughing. I love hurting because you couldn't be bothered to break up the right way".

"Lena-".

"Fuck you. I trusted you, I loved you. I love you. I trusted you, Trev and you just-", a loud sob broke out of her at that, her entire body shaking as she covered her mouth with her hand screwing her eyes shut against the pain because goddammit, it hurt too much.

"I never should've said that, I hurt you I know but Lena I need you to know that I still-".

And she had hung up.

Throwing her phone to the other side of the bed, Madeleine had dropped down on the duvet, clutching the soft material to her chest and crying, crying out loud as the pressure in her chest got worse and filled her with a shattering sense of loss.

She never picked up his calls after that.

Then one night, sitting on the sink ledge of her sister and Orla's apartment bathroom, drunk on way too many glasses of wine she called him.

He didn't pick up. So she left a voicemail.

"I don't even know what you're doing right now-wait, no. Liar. I know what you're doing. Ice. You're on the ice. It's Vegas today, right? Gah, I hate that team. Not because you hate them. I have my own opinions", she hiccupped, silently wondering how long Millie and Orla would let her hide in the bathroom before coming to check up on her.

A deep inhale and then, "Thought I'd tell you I got drunk again. No, not again. No, just-it's because of you. That's what you need to know. Hope you lose. But don't get hurt. Because I'll cry. I don't want to cry. Don't make me cry, Trev".

She had wiggled her toes and tilted her head looking up at the light bearing down on her from the ceiling and sighed very loudly.

"It's no fun when you're not on the other side of the phone. I want to hear your ridiculous laugh. Please laugh. Please let me hear it. Please let me-", a large lump had formed in her throat and she knew she could go on no longer, "I don't know what I'm doing. Ignore me. Forget it. Bye".

She'd put her phone on 'Do Not Disturb' and left the bathroom, waking up only next morning to find that he had called her back, several times actually.

He'd also texted.

TREVOR : 'please tell me ur okay, i need to know ur okay'

TREVOR : 'lena. please. talk to me'

TREVOR : 'i think ur asleep. that's good. but call me. text me. let me know ur okay'

TREVOR : 'i'll laugh if u call me. i know u wanted to hear it last night, not so sure about today but if ur still interested then i'll laugh as much as u want. i'll do whatever'

TREVOR : 'please call me'

And that's when she knew she'd fucked up. So, she'd fired him a quick text simply saying "i'm alright" - she wasn't doing it for him, she was doing it for herself this was step one in moving on - and then, she had blocked him.

She had blocked him because if his contact wasn't readily available for her to use then she wouldn't use it, even when drunk.

It's good logic. It worked.

Madeleine shakes her head, running a hand through her messy hair before pulling up Trevor's contact and hovering her thumb over the 'unblock' button.

It's okay. She's better, stronger.

They're sort of friends. She's hanging out with him.

It's okay.

She's okay.

She hits unblock.

( 𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗏 , 𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖺 💞 )

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
HI HI

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
get it over with

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
wow rude okay

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
barbie's out and cassie wants
to watch both that and the cillian
murphy film

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
oppenheimer u uncultured beast

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
right sorry

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
anyways

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
we all go to watch barbie and
let cassie & quinn watch
oppenheimer alone?

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
i want to watch it too

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
uhhhhh

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
we'll find another showing for
u dw

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
do cassie & quinn know about this

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
no but cole and alex only wanna
watch barbie so if u put in ur
two cents then they'll end up
together for oppenheimer

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
cassie and quinn i mean, not
alex and cole that'd be weird

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
weird bc they're dumb?

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
weird bc they don't wanna
kiss each other

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
u sure about that?

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
like 98%...

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
LMAO

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
alright fair

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
i'll play along

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
i still want to watch oppenheimer
before the summer ends

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
i got u

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
thanks for unblocking me btw

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
and i'm done here

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
see u tomorrow

𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 💞
don't text me again

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃
okay 😔

***
i'm so tired but i had to get an update out for this book today bc HELLO TREVOR'S 23 NOW MY PRINCESS IS GROWING UP ☹️☹️☹️