·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

╰•★수많은 소설에 노래 가사에
깨지고 부서진 심장의 잔해
흔한 이별의 flag, 사랑의 cliché, oh
나는 널 위해 모든 걸 초월할게

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

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╰┈➤ Sunghoon believed the last people to believe the rumors about him were his members. He was woefully wrong. Now all he can see is fat, fat and more fat.

╰┈➤ [Note: Two requests have been combined since the first provides a perfect base for the second]

╰┈➤ tw: body dysphoria, purging, image issues

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彡im sorry i was gone for so long !! if you wanna know why, ive explained in the note at the bottom. im currently working on all of your requests

彡Request ::

[hoonie2323] :: Someone had made a rumor abt sunghoon and the members belived it and started ignoring him, but one night they all (exept sunghoon) sat down and started talking about the rumor and about sunghoon but they didnt know he heard it all.

[penguinhoonie] :: Can you please do a Sunghoon one where Sunghoon has an eating disorder and he hides it from his members and he keeps losing weight and he can't stop because he thinks he's fat even though he's not and you know hate comments and stuff but he ends up fainting because of it but his members help him with recovery

彡enjoyy!!

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The blue light from his phone screen danced across Sunghoon's tired eyes as he mindlessly scrolled through the comments. His eyes ached, but he couldn't seem to put down the phone.

His heart had learned to numb itself to the constant barrage of opinions and criticisms but tonight was different. Tonight, the words seemed to sting a little deeper than usual. He didn't know why. Maybe it was the fact he'd hurt the staff ridiculing him this morning. Or he'd was going insane. One of the two.

He didn't know how it had started. He'd just uploaded a selfie on WeVerse one day, and then when he'd gone to check the comments an hour later, the comment section was filled with people call him 'fat' and 'chubby' and that he'd really let himself go.

It had started small. So small he could count the number of negative comments on one hand. But then it had just grown and grown, with people uploading his photos with filters on them that distorted his body and face. At first he'd lauged at it along with the fans but now, he cried, the fans laughed.

He clicked on another tag, knowing perfectly well that he shouldn't, that he should just close that damned app and go to sleep, but he did it anyway.

E nhypenis6 | @enhypenisforever6

lmao has anyone seen how fat sunghoon has been getting lately?? hes fatter all members combined!!

Penguin | @pwengin

IKRR!! And people used to call our Sunoo chubby lmao have they even looked at sunghoon? hes so useless, why even is he in enhypen??? #sunghoonleaveenhypen

Sunghoon knew, he fucking knew he shouldn't have clicked on that hashtag, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to know what people really thought about him. It seemed that it never occurred to those people that idols could read every message they posted, every single criticism. That they could use a translator.

Inexplicable curiosity had him scrolling through a sea of comments, each one a dagger in his chest. He had spent hours in the gym, sweating out his fears and insecurities, and for what? To still be reduced to 'fat' in the eyes of the world.

The irony wasn't lost on him. The very people who were supposed to have his back, the ones who had seen his struggle up close, other than his members, were now the ones throwing shade his way. The betrayal was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was the reality that had been shoved down his throat.

He knew very well how toxic the industry was. He knew it. But he still chose this life. And given a another chance? He still would. Sunghoon genuinely enjoyed being an idol, but it didn't mean it was easy. Especially when people seemed to forget he was human as well. One of the things that kept him going, even after continuous tours, one after another- was the excitement of seeing his fans, the people who adored him. He still loved them, but it looked like they didn't anymore.

The digital whispers grew louder in his head, echoing through the silence of his room. He read a comment from a fan claiming they had caught him in the elevator, stuffing his face with snacks. Another accused him of laziness, saying he'd lost his drive since debut. It was a constant of accusations and insults, and he couldn't stop reading. His thumb hovered over the screen, scrolling endlessly, like he was searching for a shred of kindness in a desert of spite.

He scoffed at the audacity of some, who claimed to know his eating habits and training routine better than he did.

Yao | heeseungsprincesss

You're not fooling anyone with those baggy clothes, Sunghoon #sunghoonleaveenhypen

He scoffed. As if they had peered into his personal life and found his supposed secret stash of junk food. Something that didn't exist. The weight of their words grew heavier with each scroll, and his chest tightened as he swallowed back the bile rising in his throat.

Another comment caught his eye, this one accompanied by a side-by-side comparison of his pre debut photos and recent selcas. "From a chiseled god to a marshmallow," the user wrote, complete with a crying emoji.

The stark difference between the two images was undeniable. The sharp jawline and defined abs of his past had softened, and the angles of his face had rounded out. He recognized the person in the old photos, but the reflection in the mirror had become a stranger. He scrolled on, not realizing that picture was cleverly photoshoped.

The rumors grew more ludicrous with each passing minute. Some said he was secretly a food blogger, others claimed he had been caught ordering food at all hours of the night. And how did they know? Because they were employees at different fast food restaurants.

This one accusation was true, but it wasn't for him that he'd ordered the food. Just two weeks ago, one of the staff who was part of Enhypen's makeup team, had collapsed and had been rushed to the hospital. Since then, Sunghoon had made sure to order food for the staff every single day, so nobody went hungry. But of course, the "fans" didn't know that.

A few had gone as far as to say he had a gastric bypass to shed weight quickly, only to have it fail spectacularly. He didn't even know what that meant, so he had to search it up. Apparently, it was a type of weight loss surgery that reduces your stomach to the size of a walnut. Did people really get these types of surgeries?

His members had never brought it up, but he couldn't help but wonder if they saw him differently now. If the whispers in the corridors had reached their ears, if they had noticed his waistline expanding under the baggy sweatshirts he had started to favor.

One comment, however, stood out among the sea of spite. It was from a user named 'Ipen | @ElegantChaos'. They had posted a series of photos, meticulously edited to show Sunghoon's 'transformation' from 'thin' to 'fat'. The images were grotesque, with parts of his body bloated and distorted beyond recognition. The caption read, "Sunghoon's true form revealed!" His stomach twisted at the malicious intent behind the post. He knew it was just pixels and Photoshop, but the cruelty behind it was all too real.

Another rumor claimed that he had been binge eating to cope with the stress of their upcoming comeback. They had spun a tale of his secret midnight snacking habits, complete with imagined details of greasy takeout and gallons of ice cream consumed in the privacy of his room.

It was absurd, of course, but the more he read, the more he felt like the lies were inching closer to the truth he had worked so hard to hide. His eyes stung with unshed tears, and he hastily swiped them away, not wanting to give the keyboard the satisfaction of knowing it had won, even though it was a non living object.

He had to marvel at the creativity of these people.

One particularly vicious rumor suggested that he had been intentionally sabotaging Enhypen's group diet, buying everyone junk food and sugary drinks behind the scenes.

moaw | @chanslaptopsfeet

i am a former staff member of enhypen. and enhypen member #sunghoon has been buy and feeding other members sugary drinks. thats why they all are loosing their jawlines

12 replies. Click to view.

╰• engene | @sunghoonprince

The hell you mean by that? your talking like he buys them drinks and shoves it down their throats

╰• moaw | @chanslaptopsfeet

im not lying. thats what he does

╰• engene | @sunghoonprince

you have to be kidding me rn

╰• engene | @sunghoonprice

you talk like hes holding them at gunpoint or sum 😭😭 your delulu

View 8 more replies

Sunghoon groaned softly and let his phone fall onto the bed. He brought his knees up to his face and buried his face in the soft fabric of the slacks he was wearing. Of course. That was te latest trend. Pretend to be a staff member and ruin the lives of the members. And no one had any way of verifying if they were really a staff member or not. People would see that and believe what they wanted to.

The betrayal cut deep, and the mere thought of his members believing such a thing was unbearable. He knew he had to face them, to set the record straight before the whispers grew too loud to ignore. He couldn't stand the idea that his members believed something like that about him- even though they probably didn't. He needed to talk to them.

Sunghoon took a deep breath, wiping his tears and taking a good few minutes to wash his face and clear it up. He couldn't let anyone see that he'd been crying, he wasn't that weak.

──── ❈

He stepped out of his room, the cold floor sending a jolt up his spine. He knew where he'd find them-the living room where they gathered every day to either watch a movie, do a group live, or just play games and talk with each other.

His heart raced as he approached, each step feeling heavier than the last. He gripped himself around the chest as a jolt of pain went through him.

'These are your members. Your brothers. You have nothing to worry about.' he reminded himself as he straightened up and leaned against the door frame, taking a deep breath. And then the sound of voices, pierced through his awareness and he froze, listening.

The door was ajar, and he could hear the low murmur of their voices, punctuated by occasional laughter. He paused, hand hovering over the handle.

"Is Sunghoon alseep?" came Jake's distinct Australian accented voice.

"Probably. He looked exhausted." Jungwon replied.

"I'll go check." said Jay, and Sunghoon heard movements.

Suddenly, inexplicably, he was moving, faster than he'd ever before. His body moved on his own accord, and he was opening the door to his room and lying down before he even knew what he was doing, praying Jay hadn't seen him.

He heard the door to his room open, and he closed his eyes, and focused on relaxing his face and evening out his breaths.

"Hoonie? Are you sleeping?" came Jay's low whisper.

Sunghoon forced himself to keep quiet, and he felt more than heard Jay come closer towards his bed.

Jay's light touch hovered over his face for a second, then brushed a few stands of hair from Sunghoon's face. He felt a light kiss being pressed to his forehead, and then Jay turned and his quiet footsteps grew quieter as he walked away, and then came the soft click of the door closing.

Sunghoon lay there for a couple seconds, just to be sure Jay had really gone, before leaping out of bed and padding softly out of the room and hiding outside the half closed door of the living room again.

" -mments on that last live?" Heeseung's was saying. "They're saying such mean things about Sunghoon."

They were talking about him. His heart skipped a beat, and he found himself leaning closer to the gap, his ears straining to catch every word.

"I don't get it. He's always been so disciplined with his diet and exercise. Did something happen?" murmured Jay.

Sunoo's voice came nect. It was a gentle reproach. "We should just ignore it. It's probably just some trolls trying to stir up drama."

Sunghoon's hand tightened around the doorframe, his knuckles whitening. They knew. They had to know. He felt the weight of their eyes on him every time they were together, their concerned glances and the way they'd nudge him towards the salad at mealtimes. But to hear them talking about it, confirming his fears, was a blow he hadn't prepared for.

"I don't know, guys," Ni-ki spoke up, his voice worried . "He's been looking pretty... different lately. Withdrawn. And I swear he's been getting paler."

The room grew quiet, and Sunghoon's breath hitched in his throat. His worst fears were coming to life before his very eyes. His world spun and he missed the next few words that were spoken. He couldn't hear. It hurt. It hurt so much. Even they didn't believe in him.

"-tripped during rehearsal?" Jake's voice was hesitant, as if he didn't want to add fuel to the fire but couldn't resist contributing to the conversation. "Some of the fans said it was because he's gained weight."

Sunghoon's grip on the doorframe tightened even more, his jaw clenched. That had been an honest mistake, a misstep, not because of his weight. But hearing his members entertain the thought was like a knife twisting in his gut. But seriously? Tripping? Because he gained weight? How did people come up with that sort of stuff?

"I noticed it too. He's been avoiding mirrors and... I don't know, just seems less confident." Jungwon spoke up next, his voice laced with concern.

Sunghoon's heart plummeted. He had thought he was being so careful, so subtle. Yet here they were, discussing his weight gain as if it were the latest celebrity gossip. The room felt stifling, the air thick with accusation. He wanted to storm in and demand an explanation, to shout that he was more than just his body, that he was still the same person, the same member of Enhypen they had always known. But his legs wouldn't move.

"Remember when we went out for that late night snack? He ordered so much more than usual. It was like he couldn't stop." Heeseung said, his voice filled with what sounded like regret.

Sunghoon's chest constricted as the memory flooded back to him. It had been one of those nights where stress had coiled around him like a python, squeezing until he could hardly breathe. He had given in to the hunger, ordering more than he needed to fill the void, hoping the food would silence the whispers in his head.

"And that time he devoured the entire pizza, I mean, it was funny, but now that we think about it..." Ni-ki added, his voice tinged with something that sounded suspiciously like amusement.

"Guys, come on," Jay interrupted, his voice firm. "This isn't helping. We're his friends, not his critics."

Sunghoon's eyes burned with unshed tears as he took a step back from the door. He didn't need to hear any more. They had noticed. They had seen the extra food disappear from the fridge and the snacks that he had thought were his secret. The weight he had so desperately tried to hide had become a topic of discussion, a spectacle for their amusement. He felt like a caged animal, his privacy invaded by their prying eyes and their whispers.

As the conversation continued, the incidents grew more personal. They talked about the night he had eaten two servings of ramen at their dorm dinner, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment as he had tried to play it off as a one time thing.

They brought up the time he had been eating a chocolate bar, the wrapper crumpled around it like a guilty secret. Each memory was dissected and analyzed, every bite of food he had taken under their scrutiny now a weapon used against him. All of those had been one time things, days where he hadn't eaten anything the whole day, and had just been making up for it.

So now he couldn't eat. Great.

"And what about that one time at the amusement park on En O Clock? He scarfed down that funnel cakes like he hadn't eaten in days." Jake said, his voice carrying a hint of accusation.

Sunghoon's stomach churned at the memory. It was because he hadn't eaten in days just as Jake had rightly put it. He had been so busy with photo shoots that he hadn't had anything substantial in more than three days and it had been a rare moment of joy, a brief escape from the relentless schedule, and he had allowed himself to indulge. But now, it was just another bullet point in the list of his supposed transgressions.

"I mean, he didn't even share," Jake said, a note of betrayal in his voice. "He said he didn't want us to worry about his diet, but now it's like he's going to eat us out of a job."

Their laughter was like nails on a chalkboard to Sunghoon. He took another step back, the conversation echoing in his ears. The walls felt like they were closing in on him, each word a brick weighing down on his shoulders. He had to get out of there. He couldn't bear to hear anymore.

Without another thought, he turned and hurried back to his room, shutting the door with a quiet click. The room felt safe, but the silence was deafening. He collapsed onto his bed, his body heavy with the weight of their words. The tears he had held back spilled over, staining his pillow. He had never felt so alone.

He lay there for what felt like hours, listening to the muffled sounds of his members' laughter and chatter through the walls. Each giggle was a reminder of their camaraderie, a stark contrast to his isolation. His mind raced with thoughts of confrontation and explanation, but fear kept his tongue tied. What if they didn't believe him? What if they thought he was just making excuses?

The whispers grew in his head, louder and more insistent with every passing minute. 'You're letting them down,' they hissed. 'They're talking about you like you're a joke.' He knew he had to do something, to fight back against the tide of rumors and accusations. But what could he say that would make them understand? That would make them see him as more than just a failed image of perfection?

With trembling hands, Sunghoon pushed himself off the bed and stumbled to the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, unfamiliar. His face was pale and drawn. He looked utterly sick.

He traced the curve of his stomach with his fingers, feeling the softness that had once been firm muscle. The anger and hurt bubbled up inside him, mixing with a heavy dose of self loathing. He had let himself go (or so he thought), and now it was costing him everything. His career, his friends, his dignity.

He couldn't help but think back to the days when his abs were visible and his cheekbones sharp. The days when he could dance for hours without getting winded, when the camera angles weren't a source of anxiety. The days when he didn't have to hide his body under layers of clothing, hoping no one would notice the extra couple pounds. It seemed like a lifetime ago, a version of himself that had been swallowed whole by the monster in the mirror.

Now, all Sunghoon could see was fat. Fat when he looked in the mirror, fat when he caught a glimpse of himself in a reflection, fat when he compared his body to the other members. His mind was a toxic swirl of self loathing and anger. He was a burden, a disappointment, a laughing stock. The whispers of the internet had become his reality, and he couldn't escape them, even in the sanctuary of his own room.

With a deep, trembling breath, Sunghoon pushed himself off the bed and shuffled into the shared bathroom. He grabbed the scale from the corner, the cold plastic a stark contrast to the heat of his skin. He stepped onto it, his heart racing like a rabbit's. The numbers flashed on the screen, taunting him, confirming his fears. He had gained more weight than he had dared to admit to himself. The scale didn't lie, and the number didn't care about his feelings or his struggles. It was a cold, hard fact that stared back at him, a glaring reminder of his failure.

Seventy nine kilograms.

The number on the scale stared back at Sunghoon, unwavering and unforgiving. It was a number that had crept up on him, one he had ignored and denied for far too long. His breathing grew rapid, each inhale and exhale a battle against the panic that threatened to consume him. He had crossed the line from 'slightly overweight' to 'fat', and there was no turning back. His reflection in the mirror was a mockery of the idol he was supposed to be.

He felt his eyes burn as the number sunk in, the gravity of the situation weighing down on him like the extra kilograms he now carried. Seventy kilograms. It was a number that seemed to define him, to strip away his identity as an Enhypen member and leave him with nothing but a shell of his former self. He stared at his reflection, his thoughts spiraling into a dark abyss of doubt and anger.

He had worked so hard, pushed his body to its limits, and still, it wasn't enough. The whispers of the internet had become a deafening roar, and now even his own members were talking about him behind his back. He couldn't bear it anymore. He had to change, had to prove them wrong.

He wouldn't stop. Two months till their next comeback. Two months that he had to lose weight, to loose all the disgusting fat that hung off of him.

He had to become the Sunghoon of old, the one fans had once praised, the one his members would be proud of.

He stared into the mirror, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and despair. The reflection that stared back was a stranger to him, someone he despised. He had never been one to obsess over his looks, but now, it was all he could think about. The camera would not lie. The fans would not be fooled by his forced smiles and baggy clothes. They had seen his 'true form', and he had to change it.

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彡 [long note!!]

彡okay so here we go. so life has been really shitty lately. my grandpa passed in early aug and im still not okay. even after that a whole lot of things happened and long story short, i tried to kms. it didnt work, but im okay now !! dw about me, and im sorry i was gone for so long but i thought people would enjoy a proper work rather any half baked attempt i tried to write.

彡im okay rn ig like idk what okay means rn but here it means not d3ad. not gone still here. so yes i was gonna kms but then my brother- the younger one came up to me and cuddled me and told me he loved me sm. istg that kid has some sort of 6th sense bc hes only 4 and hes been showering me with love for the past two days so i kinda js broke down right there and then i js yk understood that i wanna see this kid grow up and make something wonderful out of his already amazing self so im not gonna kms thats not happening dw dw. ik this sounds weird but its wut happened

彡please dont comment anything about this, i dont want that, just the chapter please?

彡im sorry i was gone for so long and ily <3

彡 i think i've lost my touch