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·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

╰•★밀어내도, 내 안에 타올라
재가 돼도, 불꽃이 피어나
Like a fever, fever, fever, oh
널 알고 싶어, 널 알고 싶어

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

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Jay woke up to a loud beeping near his ear. Groaning, he turned over, with bleary, sleep riddled eyes and turned off his alarm and fell back onto his bed.

Then he sneezed.

Loudly.

And then he sneezed again.

And again, and again, and again.

 Yeah he definitely had a cold. 

Fuck.

'Shit' he muttered as he rubbed his nose to stop it from itching. His throat felt itchy and scratchy. He got up to get some water but as he stood up the headache from last night retuned with full force and waves of nausea and dizziness crashed over him causing him to sit fall down on the bed with a groan. The world blurred for a second and black spots appeared before his eyes. He waited until his vision cleared before getting up again, still feeling like shit.

He couldn't have a cold. Not now. Not when they had schedules and a fan meeting today. He hated this. He was starting to regret his decision to walk in the rain at night. That was dumb. Still feeling like his legs were made of jelly he somehow drunk walked to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It took a lot of time, five times less the speed at which he would usually shower and dress at. After the shower, stumbling back into his room he managed to get dressed appropriately for the fan sign. It was then that he noticed the flurry of activity outside his room.

Jungw- no that was Heeseung yelling at the members to 'get over here oh my god, we are going to be so late' and 'get your lazy asses in the van- manager hyung is going to kill us- and somebody please go wake Ja- SIM JAEHYUN AND PARK SUNGHOON I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO NOT PUT ON YOUR SHIRTS RIGHT NOW AND STOP ARUGING, YOU WON'T SEE LAYLA AND GAEUL EVER AGA- KIM SUNOO PUT A FREAKING SHIRT ON- NI-KI THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SLEEPING GET UP, GET UP, GET UP, GET UP- YANG JUNGWON STOP WATCHING VIDEOS AND GO WAKE UP JAY!' 

From his years of staying with them in the dorm, he was honestly very concerned for Heeseung's vocal chords and their neighbor's peace of mind. He was sure everyone could feel their eldest's frustration; especially in their ears but chose to disregard his vocal chords anyway. From what else he could make out, Sunghoon and Jake were probably fighting over each other's dogs again, having just bathed together, Sunoo was walking around the dorm shirtless, Ni-ki was sleeping again and Heeseung wanted to join him but couldn't and Jungwon was binging on cat videos on YouTube again and they'd apparently forgotten that Jay was a part of the group too and were remembering him now.

Hurriedly, but still somehow sluggishly he combed his hair, applied lotion and headed out of his room, chaos still raging around the house. Five minutes later Heeseung had finally managed to round everyone up and shove them in the van, Sunoo with only one shoe which he realized five minutes after they'd left the dorm. There was a rush to get back to the dorm and as soon as they arrived Sunoo ran out like a hundred dogs were after him and retuned with his shoe not on his hand, but on his hands. Throughout the chaos no one seemed to notice that Jay had not had breakfast, not even the energy bar Heeseung had forced everyone to eat and was leaning on the side of the window looking dizzy.

Jay just hoped he could last till the fan sign ended.

──── ❈

News flash: He did not

The members, as usual had cause chaos inside the car, talking and yelling not notcing Jay was leaning against the window looking way to pale for it to be normal. Jay drifted in and out of consciousness for the rest of the ride until they arrived at the fan sign venue where he was roughly shaken awake by the movement of the members leaving the car. He got out to cheers and screams of Engene's shouting their names and cheering for them.

There was still about an hour before the fanmeeting started, and they were ushered inside the venue hurriedly, him getting progressively dizzier and feeling waves of nausea crashing over him making him want to pass out. He somehow managed to stumble into a chair and waited for his stylist and make up artist to come for his make up and hair. They both arrived a few minutes later, arms full of products. He closed his eyes and leaned backward as they both started on his make up and hair. He didn't notice when he fell asleep, exhaustion tumbling over him.

He woke up to someone softly slapping his cheeks and and someone else calling out his name. He sluggishly opened his eyes to see Jake and Sunghoon leaning over him looking concerned. Sunghoon appeared to be the one who'd been slapping him trying to wake him up.

'Wha' 'appe'd?' he slurred moving his hands sluggishly as both of them stared at him worriedly. 'Hyung-' Jake began, 'we've been trying to wake you up for like fifteen minutes. Your stylist called us over because you weren't waking up. We were so worried' he said wringing his hands in worry.

Sunghoon placed his hand on Jay's forehead. 'You're burning up hyung' he said looking extremely concerned. Jay almost broke down. This was the most concern anyone had ever shown him in the past few days. He leaned into Sunghoon's touch. It felt cool against his burning forehead. He just wanted to stay like this forever quietly, away from the noise of the others. He almost fell asleep again but was woken again by Sunghoon taking his hand away from his forehead.

'Hyung, we need to go now. There's only five minutes until the fansign starts' their puppy like member interrupted.

With a resigned sigh and a little bit of difficulty Jay got up, hoping the fansign would go well. That probably did not work out so well.

They walked out to the cheers and screams of Engenes As they sat down, Jay could feel two pairs of eyes boring into the back of his head. It warmed that someone, no, two someones cared about him, to display it openly and risk Heeseung's rage.

(I've always questioned why in almost every ff Hee or Jay are the bad dudes but now I get it)

Jay greeted the first fan, who sat in front of him and listened to her quickly saying all the things she wanted to say to him in the small time frame of two minutes each fan got. As the fansign went on, he could feel his condition worsen, he got dizzier and dizzier. He could still, feel, more than see Jake and Sunghoon watching him. He zoned out for a few seconds as a fan recited his list of things he wanted Jay to know. 'Every Engene could be a rapper' he mused silently.

After the young boy had left, there was a sudden cheer and the sound of chairs being pushed back. The members were getting up for some reason, and Jay hastily followed nearly tripping anf falling from a sudden bout of vertigo. Ni-ki's strong hold caught his bicep and pushed him back gently, stopping him from falling, breaking his nose and totally embarrassing himself. He spared Jay a worried glace and whispered some comforting words to him in Japanese, in the pretense of tying Jay's shoelace for him.

Great, now he had three members being worried from him, which would distract them from whatever they were supposed to be doing and they wouldn't be able to give their best, and Engenes would call them lazy and start to hate them. He was just a burden after all.

He walked over to the rest of the members realizing halfway there it was the formation for Bite Me, one of their most popular title tracks.

They were halfway through the song when waves of nausea and dizziness hit him with full force. He could no longer handle the dizziness. The world was spinning, and seen of sweat coated his forehead. The music sounded distorted and muffled like someone had stuffed cotton in his ears. Darkness extended a hand and he went willingly.

They were halfway through the song, when Engene's excited screams and yells, cheering them on, turned into horrorstruck yells as they screamed their second eldest hyung's name. He was at the back of their formation, and they turned back to look at him, just to see Sunghoon holding up an unconscious Jay. Everyone froze for a second, and then there was a mad rush to get to their second eldest, the reliable mom of the group.

Jungwon and Heeseung hung back a bit for a second and then rushed forward, feeling a bit ashamed, why, they didn't know. Heeseung put his hand on his dongsaengs forehead, which was covered in a sheen of sweat, and gasped at the heat radiating from it. 'He's burning up' Heeseung mumbled quietly and worriedly. Behind them the staff was ushering the fans towards the exit, trying to give the boys some privacy, but of course the fans wouldn't relent so easily. Engenes took absolutely no notice of the staff only interested in pushing forward, trying to get to the stage under the assumption they could help, by crowding the boys and only increasing their problems.

No fan could see Jay any more which only made them more irritated, as the members were all circled around him, which only helped in increasing the chaos. On the sidelines the manager was calling the ambulance, because no matter what they tried, water, small slaps, calling, shaking and acting way too panicked, Jay showed absolutely no signs of waking. Tears were streaming down almost everyone's face, worry clearly etched on their faces. Jungwon and Ni-ki were calling out desperately to their hyung, almost begging him to wake up as if it would do any good.

Amid the chaos, the sound of an ambulance broke through, silencing everyone for a split second. Taking advantage of the momentary silence and frozen fans, security and staff managed to break the crowd of Engenes forcing their way towards the stage and push them roughly towards the exits. Taken aback by the brute force that was now being used against them, fans were quickly ushered out giving the members the privacy they needed.

At that second the ambulance drew up and the paramedics rushed inside. Checking his pulse and doing other basic checks, they were informed Jay had fainted because he was dehydrated, dancing on an empty stomach, and possibly overworked. He'd reached a dangerous fever of 41 degrees, a point at which the body simply shut down.Jay was carefully lifted and placed on the stretcher, and was carried out the ambulance. As always with an ambulance one person was required to to head with him to the hospital. Heeseung stepped forward and Jake pushed him back, anger taking over his tear streaked features. Heeseung attempted to push Jake back but Sunghoon grabbed his hand.

The angry ice skater looked at his eldest hyung in absolute disgust. 'Do you really think I'm gonna let you go anywhere near Jay after what you've done?'. Sunghoon's words were quiet but the venom in them was evident. 'You're the cause of this. This happened because you and our so called leader treated Jay that way just because of one fucking accident that wasn't even entirely his fault!' The youngest '02 liner's pitch rose with every word, till he was yelling so loudly, the Engenes outside the closed door could hear him, but couldn't make out any words.

'Hoon-ah-'

'Don't call me that!'

'Sunghoon-ah listen to me. I get it you're worried but that's no way to talk to me, your eldest hy-'

'You don't deserve to be called a hyung! The eldest is supposed to be responsible and wise but you're the most childish one in this team!" Sunghoon yelled back.

"Fuck, we can't even be called a team anymore because our so called leaders are too busy being idiots to actually take care of everyone like they're supposed to, not land a member in the hospital by ignoring him and banning the rest of us from speaking to him or even taking care of him you assholes!"

To their surprise it wasn't Jake or Sunghoon who had spoken but Sunoo, the group's sunshine, the one who hardly ever raised his voice.

'But- but Sunoo-hyung we lost so many songs, so many months of hard work-'

'So you care more about some fucking songs that can be easily re-recorded? More than Jay-hyung? More than an actual living person?' Jake stepped forward, all anger that had been suppressed at Jay's treatment over the past few months exploding out. 

There was a moment of total silence, and then Heeseung turned to Ni-ki desperately. The maknae had been the only one who handn't spoken up, but anyone could clearly see the smoldering look in his eyes.

'Ni-ki, baby, you understand us right? You know why we acted like that right?'

Ni-ki was quiet for a second before 'You're both fucking pathetic assholes Heeseung.' he spat at Jungwon and Heeseung, not bothering to address them as "hyung" as in his eyes they did not deserve to be respected one bit. 

Sunghoon and Sunoo followed him out, along with Jake who only stopped to say 'Get another car. We're not having you two sit with us.'

(Ik irl an ambulance won't wait for so long for someone to come, they'll just go but this is a ff so... um... yeah.)

The four headed out, Sunghoon climbing into the ambulance and the rest heading to one of the company cars, ignoring every question shouted at them by the fans and now reporters lined outside, who were trying to force their way back in as panic increased ten fold after Jay had been carried out in a stretcher in front of literally everyone.

Dispatch was going to have a field day with this, the headlines something along the lines of "Enhypen's Jay collapses at fansign. Hybe ignoring artists' health" and probably a piece on how four of them came out first and went in a different car, the shouting inside, and then two members walking out in another car "Dispute among Enhypen's members at Seoul fansign, what's going on?" 

The company was going to be furious... but no one could bring themselves to care. The eldest '02 liner was so much more important.

──── ❈

Inside, as soon as the four had left Heeseung and Jungwon collapsed against each other, the result of their actions and the reality of the situation hitting them with full force, and left them aching. Tears burst forth before they could control them. After a couple of minutes, Jungwon murmured 'We really fucked up didn't we?'

'Yeah and badly.'

There was a pause.

'Last night, the movie- when we all fell asleep, was it you who put us back to bed? Because I'm pretty sure you feel asleep as well.'

'I didn't... I meant to, but I fell asleep too, around 12:30 or something.'

Jungwon's breath hitched 'That means- Jay hyung- what? He came home so late- only to- oh my god- that must have hurt him so much- we promised- never to watch without everyone- shit.'

There was a loud silence.

Then Heeseung asked 'Do you think they will ever forgive us? Especially Jay?'

'Even if they do, I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself came the doleful reply.

Yet another pause.

'We should probably head to the hospital...'

'Yeah we should.'

──── ❈

His eyes felt heavy. He was lying on something soft, almost like a cloud. He just wanted to stay there, lie there forever, and never wake up again. He descended back into darkness.

──── ❈

The next time consciousness extended a hand he heard voices around him, worried. They faded in and out as if he were a radio with a bad internet connection. He could make out a couple of words though.

'...two whole days ...'

'...wake up...'

'...why...'

'...sorry...'

'...leave him alone...'

Jay sank into blissful unconsciousness again.

──── ❈

The next time consciousness came round, he could feel someone holding his hand. His eyes felt too heavy to open. And there was some sort of noise, and his brain finally registered it was the sound of someone crying. He could tell it was one of his members, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly who it was. He wanted to get up and hug whoever was crying and comfort them but his body resisted.

Then suddenly, the person seated beside him started to speak, voice breaking. 'Hyung' came a whisper. 'Hyung, I- I'm so sorry hyung. Heeseung hyung and me- we didn't mean anything we did or said... We- we were just mad... and stressed... I know that's not an excuse, but please wake up hyung. Everyone is really worried. We need you hyung; please.

Thats when his sluggish brain registered it was his leader who was speaking. The sound of his precious leader's words spurred Jay to finally muster up his strength. He squeezed Jungwon's hand and forced his eyes open. He felt rather than saw Jungwon's breath hitch.

'Hyung? Hyung. Hyung!'

His dongsaeng looked extremely tired. There were bags under his eyes and his face was tear streaked. He looked like he hadn't slept in a couple days, which of course was the case.

 Nevertheless, a huge smile was blooming across his face, genuine happiness to see Jay for the first times in... weeks? Months? Days? 

Jungwon leaped up from his chair to hug him, but then stopped, hesitance obvious. 'Do you mind if I...' he trailed off and the unasked question hung in the air. 

Voice scratchy and hoarse and inaudible from being out of use for so long, Jay simply raised his hands, with a bit of effort and something tugged at his right one. He looked up to see an IV attached to his hand. 

Looking around, he realized for the first time he was in a hospital... what had even happened?

Before he could ponder that any longer, Jungwon gave him a small hug, careful not to dislodge the IV, pressed the big red button to call for the nurse and was now inching the straw of a small sippy cup towards him mouth. J

ay drank gladly, the cool feel of the water a blessing against his sore and dry throat.

A few seconds later, a nurse walked in. She beamed at the right of Jay awake. She quietly did some checks, changed his nearly empty IV drip, fluffed up his pillows a bit, took his temperature, and instructed Jungwon to make him drink more water and told him the basic things, he shouldn't eat this and should eat that, normal meal timings and no exertion. Strictly.

Then she turned to him. 'We're glad you're awake Mr. Park. You've been asleep for two whole days. Your bandmates were really worried. Mr. Yang and Mr. Lee hasn't left your bedside for a second these two days. She gave him another bright smile, bowed and bustled out.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Jungwon must have thought he wanted water which would explain perfectly why there was a straw poking the roof of his mouth. Or he just wanted to avoid an awkward conversation and shoving water in his mouth had been his first thought.

At that moment, Jake came back with an armful of snacks, and a Heeseung dragging behind the group, which all tumbled to the floor (the snacks not Heeseung) at the sight of Jay awake smiling at them. 

There was silence, then varions of his name and a lot of 'Thank God!' were yelled out as the members rushed to hug him careful of his IV. 

Only Heeseung hung back, a little away from the bed. Jay reached out and grabbed his hyungs' shirt and pulled him in for a hug. 

After a very surprised Heeseung had gotten up, he tried to apologize but was sushed by Jay. He waved his hand to let his hyung know he was forgiven and stared affectionately into his wide bambi like eyes.

Jay tired to speak which lead to a violent coughing fit, a small panic, and two sippy cups with straws, three bottled waters and one half drunk bottle of water shoved at his face. 

Accepting the sippy cup from Ni-ki, he drank easing his coughing fit. 

All of a sudden, waves of drowsiness washed over him. He pushed the sippy cup back into his maknae's hands and looked at his members who seemed to get the message immediately.

 Jungwon helped him lay down (when he got up, don't ask me), Sunghoon tucked him in and Sunoo ran his hands through Jay's hair which was really comforting.

Mustering up one last burst of energy, Jay managed a small 'Stay?'

Sunghoon appeared in his dwindling line of vision and whispered quietly 'We'll be here when you wake up.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

They had broken a lot of promises to Jay but this was one which they would definitely keep.

──── ❈

One night, three pillow fights, a torn pillow and a yelping Heeseung later Jay had been discharged from the hospital. Over the next few weeks, his life mostly went back to normal. Like normal normal. Not the I-can't-even-look-at-you-I'm-ignoring-you normal.

Whenever he ate, there was always one member keeping an eye on him to make sure he finished, thought it was mostly Heeseung. 

There was always Ni-ki with an extra water bottle whenever the sat down for breaks at practice, which were becoming much more frequent. 

On cold days when they had to go out to film there was Jake with an extra jacket in his bag.

When they went to shows, or interviews, Ni-ki, or Sunoo, or Jungwon and sometimes even Sunhoon stuck to him like a koalas and he would never be left alone. One of the members would always be with him at any time.

He kinda liked it.

Okay scratch that.

He loved it.

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彡finally! So I finally got the first req uploaded I rlly hope you guys enjoyed! I'll get started on another req and I promise it won't take as long as this!

彡Even after the fainting scene this was 12 pages long, 24 it total, including the first part lmao. ly guys

彡ALSO GUESS WHICH BITCH TURNED 14 LAST YEAR! I originally planned on updating on my bday... but it didn't happen lol

vPLEASE TELL ME IF THERE ARE ANY SPELLING MISTAKES-

彡(a few comments would be nice tho (okay well maybe more than a few ya'll comments give me life))

彡I rlly hope u guys enjoyed thoo :)

彡tell me if anything is wrong or smth i can do to make it better <3