Joseph

Friday, December 18, 2002

Morning

Brushing my teeth had never been more fun than with Lance. We danced to some music with toothpaste-filled mouths, grooving to the beat. Something we only did as children. Some of my happiest memories bubbled up with every sway of my body before a notification interrupted the music. I spit out my toothpaste, tapping the message. It was a link from Sarah. I opened it and my heart stopped.

"Jose?" Lance chuckled. "Whatcha looking at?"

I just stared at it, and with every second, something inside me sizzled. "What is this?" I asked, shoving the phone in his hand. He looked at it and I walked away to my bedroom, running my hands through my hair. I wasn't going to cry, I didn't wanna cry.

"Joseph, it's not what it looks like, okay?"

"Do you still have feelings for her, Lance?"

"No! No! I want you!" He stressed, grabbing my hands. "I'm engaged to you! I bought a house with you!"

I shrugged him off. "Lance, this was taken at night! I was asleep! You do know how this looks, right?"

"Yes, and I swear to you it's not that, okay? Just trust me, Joseph..."

"What else have you done, Lance?"

"Nothing! Joseph, I love you! I want you!"

Every single thing ran through my head, and the thing with my brother popped up. It felt like someone was punching me over and over. My eyes watered and the image of him and my brother just splattered my mind. Like paint. "Did you and my brother ever do anything?"

"Jose... No! Can you just give me a chance to explain!"

"Why?" I retorted in anger. "So I can hear a sorry and some bullshit I love you? Hear you explain how much I mean to you?"

"I didn't cheat! Just let me explain, Joseph!"

"I'M TIRED OF HEARING EXCUSES!"

"IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE, I DIDN'T CHEAT!"

"Well, those pictures say different! Your actions say different! You left while I was asleep to see your ex-wife!" I sobbed sitting on my bed. "You embarrassed me, Lance..."

"Joseph, I didn't cheat! Please, just believe me..." he pleaded, getting on his knees. "I'll fix this, okay? I'll pay every outlet to take it down..."

I didn't have the energy to respond. I just thought of the ring on my finger and everything we talked about. That moment on the balcony just played in my head like a record. A bitter-sweet record, that only made me more emotional. Tears ran down his face and I wanted to make them go away, but his actions wouldn't let me. "She said she'd leave me alone if I just came to the restaurant and gave her one last goodbye! She kissed me! I swear!"

"And you leave me? In the middle of the night? Be honest with me, Lance, do you have feelings for her?"

"No! I love you! And I want you to trust me!"

"Well, I don't Lance! I don't trust you!" I cried. He tried hugging me, but I pushed him away, trying to control my breathing. "I need space right now..."

"Joseph—"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, getting up from the bed.

Déjà vu went through my body as I stormed down the stairs. He followed behind me, stopping me as I got to the front door. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere to think!" I snapped, opening the door, but he forced it shut.

"No, we're gonna figure this out!" I tried opening it, but he closed it again. "Look at me, Joseph!"

I let go of the doorknob, looking at the ring on my finger. Everything erupted in me and I covered my eyes as tears streamed down my cheeks. "Why would you do that to me..."

"I didn't cheat... I wouldn't cheat on you, Joseph! She kissed me and I pushed her off!" My body winced, as I tried to calm myself. Everything hurt, and his presence only made it worse. He tried touching me, but I quickly flinched away. "Joseph, look at me..."

"I can't—" I grumbled.

The doorbell rang, and he opened it to the moving men. I quickly stepped past them, going to my car. He stopped me as I opened the door. "Can you tell me where you're going at least?"

"Our home. I just need to think..." I sniffled getting in the car.

"Joseph, I didn't cheat, I swear to you..." he stressed.

I ignored him, putting my key in the ignition. He backed up as I pulled out of the driveway. I glanced in my mirror. My eyes were puffy and my face was damp. It hurt to see me like that. Keeping my composure was getting harder and harder. He was my best friend, and that's what he did to me. Cheated on me with some stupid bitch!

My phone rang, and I took a breath seeing the name. I answered it, putting it on speaker.

"Son? Are you okay?"

I forced a smile, wiping my face. "Yeah, just hurt..."

"Me and your mother are here, okay? We already paid off all the blogs and your mother is talking to Lance now."

"Thanks, dad..." I sniffled. "How's Michael?"

"We kicked him out, but he doesn't matter right now... What matters is my son!" The stress in his voice was so unusual to hear. He never stressed... "Son, look in the mirror and tell me what you see."

He always asked me this as a kid whenever I was crying. He would bring me to a mirror and ask me that question. And I'd always say tears. Then he'd wipe them away and tell me I'm strong. But I didn't feel strong right now...

I stopped at the gate of the house, wiping my face. "I see tears dad..."

"No, you see a strong man who's been hurt a lot. And that's partly my fault..."

"Dad no it's not..."

"Yes it is, I should have been there for you when you were younger..." "I taught you everything but how to deal with your feelings, how to deal with things like this. But I'm here now and I want you to know that you are the best son I could have asked for. You're only 24 and have accomplished more than some men my age have. You're caring, hardworking, and despite your choice in men, you're a smart young man." I couldn't help but chuckle at the last part. "So look back in the mirror and tell me what you see"

I looked at it again, wiping my tears. "I see a strong person..."

"So, as my strong son, I want you to talk to him. Hear him out and see from there what you wanna do, but whatever happens, know I'm here... and that I love you."

To hear it from his mouth made me smile. My whole life I wanted to hear this and for it to come at a moment like this? It felt like a blanket. "I love you too dad... I'll call you later, okay?"

"Be safe, son."

I hung up, and an unfamiliar smile rose on my face. Despite everything that happened, knowing my father was there for me made me happy. I put my window down, clearing my throat. "Verification?" the robotic voice asked.

"Joseph Ramirez..."

The gate opened, and I drove through, thinking back to what my father said. As the house came into view, happy memories popped up one by one. I pulled up to the curb and stepped out, peering up at our house. The emotions surged through me as I made my way to the front door, putting my key in.

I twisted the knob, and the smell of the house was sweet. I just looked around the bright home, taking in the size of it. I couldn't believe I owned a house of this size... I walked through the hallway, staring at the beautifully wooden floors and crown molding. Everything was so detailed and big... All of my emotions came tumbling down when my mind went to Lance and that video. I wanted to cry, but what my father said ran through my head. I took a breath walking into the kitchen.

A sound caught my attention, and the air almost left my throat as i looked in the direction.

"Alex?"

━ ★ ━

What do you think is gonna happen next? Let me know in the comments!

Hope you enjoyed the Chapter!

Sincerely, R.J