Joseph

Tuesday, December 15, 2002

Night

The tension in the room was high as I stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your brother's date, and I wanted to talk to you..."

My anger was there, but I wasn't gonna let it ruin my moment. "Alex, I'm asking nicely for you to leave..."

Rubbing his curly hair, he laughed. "You think I believe that shit you said out there? Kissing him and shit? You think that fools me?"

"Alex, he's my fiancé. I love him," "I'm only letting you get your words out right now, cause I want you to leave me and my brother alone." He went for my hand, but I quickly jolted away. "Neither you nor my brother are gonna ruin my relationship." I went for the door, but he quickly blocked it.

"I miss you, Joseph! I'm sorry for what I did. I fucked up, I know! But we can get through this."

"Alex, I forgive you, I do, but I've moved on and so should you."

"So some rich dickhead swoops in when you're hurt and you just throw me away? After you promised You'd never leave me?"

"You cheated Alex, you screwed that up yourself. I'm willing to work on your mental health and suggest you to another therapist, but I can't do this, okay?"

I tried moving him out of the way, but he gently pushed me back, staring at me with these puppy dog eyes I'd never seen. "I'm tired of going through fucking therapists. I want you, Joseph. He's just gonna fucking bore you," "I saw it in your eyes how happy you were with me..."

"I was happy with you until you did what you did, Alex! You fucked it up yourself!"

His face twisted to a scowl, and his eyes were bigger and brighter than before. "Yes, I fucked up! But why does that fucking matter? You know how much you mean to me! You know what we talked about that day!" His voice was a sob at this point and a part of me felt bad... "And you're leaving me, Joseph! Just like my mother did! I love you! Just let me make it up to you... Please!"

I wanted to comfort him like that night. See his smile. But I couldn't bring myself to do it... I couldn't do that to Lance. "Alex, I can't do this, okay? I'm sorry, but I've moved on."

I tried moving past him, but he quickly pushed me back, quivering with anger. "You think I give a fuck? Joseph, I know people and know if I want something, I'll fucking get it. You understand me?" He looked down at my ring in disgust. "What I said in the hospital was the truth. I'll kill for you, Joseph."

He stared at me with such coldness and distance that my stomach turned, and my fear grew. "You're not like that. Just promise me, you'll stay out of trouble." I stressed, caressing his cheek staring into his big ocean eyes. He placed his hand over mine and he leaned closer. Our lips were only inches apart. He got even closer, and I instinctively jerked away. "Stop! Just leave... Please!"

The grin on his face was full of mischievous and care. "You still give a fuck about me, even after everything. This is why I'm fighting for you, Joseph..."

"Alex—" I paused. I was out of words, and I knew I had to get out of this room. "Just leave my brother out of this, please..."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I wore this suit for you. I kept it. Cause I love you, Joseph, and if me leaving your brother alone is the way for you to forgive me, I will leave now."

His tone reminded me of the time he talked with my mother. Sweet and kind, the version of him I liked to think I made... "Thank you. It means a lot." I choked, moving past him opening the door. Looking back at him, I squeezed the bag in my hand. "Just be safe, please?"

"Did you guys have sex?" He asked as I turned to head out. "Did you let him touch you the way I did?"

I wanted to tell the truth, but knowing him it would only cause problems. "No, we didn't..." and with that, I left the room, going down the stairs. The party had moved to the backyard from what I could hear, but my energy was gone, filled with worry and stress, but it got better with Lance's presence. His bright smile and loving eyes always made me happy...

"Where have you been? I was worried..." Lance said, hugging me from behind. He kissed my neck repeatedly, making me laugh.

"Just getting your present. How's the party been?"

He got closer and I could feel his breath on my ear. "Better now that you're with me." We both stared at my brother running after Alex. "Did he speak to you?"

"Yeah, but I told him to leave me and my brother alone."

"Good, I didn't wanna have to fight at our celebration..." He whispered kissing my ear. "I love you."

I turned around, looking up into his eyes. The memories of us as teenagers just flashed before my eyes. Whenever I was around him, it was like a wave of nostalgia. Good nostalgia. The best kind actually, I wanted this feeling every day... "I love you too."

He pecked my lips, pulling me into the living room. "So what's my gift!" Sitting down, he pulled me onto his lap.

"It's more like three gifts wrapped in one." I joked, taking it out of the bag.

His eyes grew large, and I knew I got the right gift. "Joseph... that's my grandma's jewelry box..." he murmured as I got off his lap.

"Look what's inside..."

I handed it to him and he slowly opened it, then quickly closed it. "Joseph, how much did you spend?"

"A lot, but you're worth it."

He opened It again and his eyes watered. "Jose..." he choked, pulling the diamond-covered earrings out then the diamond-covered watch with a sapphire in the middle. "How did you—"

"It was a lot of thinking, but I knew you'd probably want a matching watch and earrings to go with the ring, and I know you loved your grandma, so why not mix them all?" I smiled, sliding the watch onto his arm.

He stared at the watch in amazement. "Nobody's ever given me something like this..."

"And no one ever cared for me the way you do, Lance."

He opened his mouth to say something before my brother stormed towards us, eyeing me like a hawk. "What did you tell him?"

My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he huffed like an angry bull. "I told him to leave my brother alone."

His face turned that tomato red. "Why! Cause you want every guy to yourself? Lance isn't enough?"

I got up, taking a deep breath. "Michael, he's unstable and you don't need that in your life..."

"Just admit it! I stole your ex and you're upset!"

"Michael, I know you don't like me, but can you just take my word this one time?"

"You know what-" He trembled with rage. "Lance, why don't you tell him what happened between us?"

Lance stood up, and his eyes sparkled with a rage I'd never seen from him. "Nothing happened between us!" "You're not going to ruin my fucking marriage over some bullshit hate you have for your brother!"

My brother's tear-filled gaze went back to me. "You don't even deserve him! When you left, who talked to him? ME. While you were in college with that cheater, who was here for him? ME, but he still picked you! PERFECT JOSEPH!"

"Is that what this is about? Me leaving?"

"Yes! You left me here! You know how father was, and you still left me here! To be insulted every day for not being like you! I needed my brother, and he left me! Not a text or call or ANYTHING!"

"Michael, It wasn't easy for me either, okay? I left because of the pressure he put on me! And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me! But it wasn't easy. I wasn't good at most of the shit I learned! But I pushed myself because I wanted to make our father happy, to get his approval!" I grabbed both his arms. "If I could go back in time and be the brother I was supposed to be, I would! If I could go back and recoup all the time I missed with Lance, I would! But I can't. I have to live with the mistakes I made and move forward. I'm not perfect, Michael, far from it. But I do wanna make things right. You are the only sibling I have! The only older brother I'll ever have and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life knowing you hate me..."

There was a long-drawn-out silence as I waited for his response. His hands tightened into fists and that red color that always grew on his face only got worse. "FUCK YOU!" He screamed storming away.

I covered my eyes, trying to calm down. My heart ached, but Lance was there in the midst of it, holding me tight. "You're perfect in my eyes, Jose, despite everything he threw at you. You chose to apologize, that shows the kind of person that you are"

"And what kind of person am I?" I muttered.

"A sweet, kind, handsome one. Someone I want by my side always. Through thick and thin..."

━ ★ ━

Still waiting on that album Rihanna...

Hope you enjoyed the Chapter!

Sincerely, R.J