╒══════════════════╕

like i need u
—keshi

1:47 ────|───── 3:02

|◁ II ▷|

╘══════════════════╛
* ·　　　 　　　　　 ✧　　　 ⋆ 　　 · * . · . 　 　 · ·　 　　　　　.. ✷ 　 ✧ . . 　 　　　 · + 　　　 　 ·　 * ✫ 　　 * ✷ ⊹ * ˚ 　　　 　. . + 　　　 　　· 　 ⋆ 　　　　　　 * 　　 　 　
『 BLAME | ANGST』
black bulls x female! reader
. 　　 　　 　　 * . 　 　 . ·　 . 　 · 　　　 . 　 　 　 　 　 *　 · 　　　 　 . · 　 · + 　. 　 　　　　 · ** ˚ 　　　 　. . + 　　　 　　· 　 ⋆ 　　　　　　 * 　　 　 　 . 　　 　　 　　 * . 　 　 . ·　 . 　 ·
───── ◦'𖥸'◦ ─────
warning: suicidal themes ahead
───── ◦'𖥸'◦ ─────

Laying over the pile burnt, dark particles of leaves, the girl felt the piercing, crest-fallen pain that burns the core of her soul. Excruciating feeling that dawned upon her fallen figure added her sobs of tears. Streaming down like heaven's cries, their eyes bawled up with welted liquids.

"Why..." She started. The empty, hollow voice of hers followed along with her deep emotions. Sobbing and curling into a ball, the black robe that was torn beside her was tattered and disfigured. The most precious thing that she held close as a symbol of a family.

"Why me...?" The tears continued to fall into the burnt grass, the flames that coursed her bloodstream releasing into the wilderness.

The betrayal that burns her sole being brought destructive fury and ocean of tears. The black dust began to form slowly as it commenced to burn the tattered robe she calls as home.

She eyed the logo that represents the love and caring family she once had. The one that left and placed her to her current state. Igniting the sorrow and painful memories of the past, happiness began to burn away and flow into the winds.

Clutching the logo in hand, she cried her tears into the sky. "We were supposed to be a family..."

Shouting out to the heavens feeling torn and used. She knew it was useless, the past is the past. Going back in time is just impossible, to begin with. But it was just unfair. How and why did she deserve this loneliness and vigorous injury.

"I didn't do it... I really didn't! I didn't want any of this!" The thoughts flashed passed through the members of her once-trusted family. Her best friends and siblings that she had walked through their lively adventure.

The Black Bulls that were filled with crowded and delinquents. The flaws that shine and brought colourful memories across them. They've built and made so many memories together.

Closing her eyes, she pondered and relinquished their beautiful memories. The ones that brought her light from the darkness that surrounded her. "I miss you guys..."

"I thought you guys trusted me..."

Sitting over the large couch, (y/n) felt depleted and drained. All the works she had was troublesome, knowing how tiring it was to fix and remove the destruction's aftermath. There were extreme amounts of houses and buildings that were destroyed. It was sad to see many without places to live and their memories were destroyed into nothingness.

It was nice to know that the magic knights were there to help everyone. Saving, healing people, reconstructing buildings, and removing pebbles and torn debris. The captains joined along without any complaints was heartwarming along.

Those pleasing thoughts of kindness and agape love were wrenching her mind. Her soul felt a fit of slight jealousy for not feeling much and receiving them at a young age. The trusts and beliefs towards others were iffy, and she couldn't help but think, 'Trusting someone is difficult and disgusting.'

But now, she was glad that there was someone that she has someone to understand and know her. Someone she can share and feel together as a team, as a family. Never has she thought that a family was something she needed. After all that hard and sad past she had about family, she grew to feel hate and revenge was all she could think of.

Having her family murdered at a very young age by her own brother that became wanted and a dangerous criminal. She was empty and got pitied by many. Left to grow in a group of bully within an orphanage.

She remembered the metallic smell over her nose. Confused and scared.

Finding her parents and siblings decapitated and messy. Their parts of the body left to scatter inside a large room, their head as a remaining that was familiar. The scarlet pool liquid that covers her ankles as an awful memory.

The fire that grew inside that soon grew inside the room after a burst of huge maniacal laughter. The familiar voice caught her off guard. Turning and finding her oldest brother with his newfound grimoire. "Betrayal runs through our blood, sister."

"Everyone will accuse us in anyways." He spoke, a large scythe grew from his hands in particles of fires.

"We're the bad ones." He continued. A picture of him smiling and tied into a cross went flashing through her eyes. He was slowly burning under the scorching flames as the town civilians shouted and threw rocks and insult his way.

"No one will understand. That's why this family should just end their sufferings and I'll take this responsibility."

"You have to run."

Wincing from the memory, she snapped out of her daydream by Asta's surprised shouting. "Woah, Magna-senpai, that was awesome! Please teach me your ways!"

Noelle's embarrassed scream that hovered over the air. "Magna-senpai's naked! I shouldn't be seeing disgusting things, for I am Royalty!"

Magna's response that continues to decorate the atmosphere. "I'm not naked! This is a- Ah!!"

A sudden zap of lightning roars over the air, continued by a funny and excited laugh. "Ahaha! Magna's toasted!"

"Oi, get back here, you laughing maniac!" The base continued to be filled by the light atmosphere, making her smile in response. The sad and heavy past of her childhood was left to be forgotten, it's better that way.

"La~ (y/n)-chan, let's eat more food!" Charmy tugged her palm eagerly yet gently. Vanessa who saw her flinching self before the chaotic atmosphere stood and felt as if a dark part of (y/n) grew back inside her, resurfacing her pain and grief from the past. Smiling softly, Vanessa happily spoke and led her to the large table of the feast that Charmy had prepared.

"Come on, let's drink some booze!" Vanessa grins making the (h/c) turn and faces her with a deadpanned. "I'll take the food instead."

Smiling, feeling the warmth of the team who gathered up in one table, laughing and partying like the night's never going to end. 'Your death led me to this place... Thank you, brother. Bad things lead you to good things as some say. Even if this shipwreck is troublesome, I am still able to get to feel what a family is like.'

Watching the crowd of a mess that was filled with unique people, their differences, from their magics, backgrounds, they still gathered and made this safe haven for weirdos. The captain that brought them here all together in this very place, the one that they all respect and care for.

'This world still has many people that understood people like us, brother... I hope you're seeing this.'

The smoking man smacked his newspaper over the girl trapped into a deep-thought. "Snap out of it, you lazy bum! Eat something!"

'And I will never let them go.'

"Charmy-pai-sen! That's Nero! Don't eat her! Vanessa-san, help! Charmy-pai-sen's high, right now!" Asta shouted over the woman chugging over more booze. All the response he got was something he never wanted.

"That's the spirit!"

This is the liveliness of the Black Bulls. The family aura that they all gave off. The understanding, protective bonds that we all created to remove any sort of unwanted pain that they have all experienced. This is the Black bulls. 'Yeah... I'll never let them go. They got my back, too...'

"That's a lie..."

She spoke to herself. Her body burning as dark dust from the fire landed over her skin, tainting them. "That's fucking bullshit!"

"It was all great before she came..." The hollow eyes and jealousy ran over her mind. The venom that dropped over the poisonous snake that ruined her life.

The albino who came over in the need of help. Everyone opened their arms into a welcoming hug that brought a fortunate state she has now. The unnamed girl that corrupted their minds and placed the curses over (y/n)'s ancestors. The curse that brought the unwanted feeling to blind her in deep sorrow.

"I wish you never lived!"

Stealing everyone's heart and attention. (y/n) thought of her as an evil witch. The gossips and toxic conversations that rose and broke her once-powerful bond with the brigade. Never has she ever thought of anyone from the squad to distance themselves away from her. She wondered why that time pushed her away from their welcoming arms.

The darkness that's filled with disgust and repugnance over the Black Bulls. Never has she thought that the past of hers was more filthy and disgusting than the others. Spilling with all her knowledge of (y/n), the massacre and burning brother she admires.

"Her family's disgusting. Filled with criminals and mindless bafoons. They studied black magic for a reason. Now, they're all dead and all was left is the witch!" Nobody backed her up.

Riffles of bullets were shot to her heart. The real reality of the curse's downfall to this family was true all along. The betrayal, the blaming, the loneliness that spreads over the blood coursing in her bloodstream and veins. This is the reality she faces.

But the sadness that builds their pasts were relatable. "I'm cursed."

"Just like you. I can't escape it but death." She smiles sadly. The evil and cunning smile of hers gone and turning 180 degrees. She never wanted to destroy (y/n)'s bonds. But the poison has filled the void inside their heart. Now, she's left with a group of mess.

"I'm sorry..." She smiled before plunging a knife over her stomach, pushing herself from the edge of the cliff. The blames and guilt eating (y/n)'s inside. All the curses and seething anger placed over the girl from (y/n) was a whole lot of bucket lists.

"No, it's not her fault..."

The death of her was led over to her blaming. The darkness of the Black Bulls was darker than the evil demons that crawl by the depth of Tartarus. In the end, she was abandoned by the revolting mess she once called home.

"Leave! Nobody wants you here!"

"Just fuck off and die, you cursed bitch!"

The tearing of the clothing she wore as a sign of rotten and full abandonment. It was a screeching, painful nightmare. The same night followed by the next day. Thrown into this forest and abandoned by her teammates. The memories are fresh. Her deceased family and

The stormy clouds blossomed over the clear morning sky. The grey and heavy cotton over the air began to run down tears from the heavens above. The angels seemed to hear her sadness and despair, expressing the same emotions felt by them.

"I wish I never lived..." The dust began to wash away, her clothes damp and soaked by the tears of gold from the sky. Clutching the last amount of material of the robe, cherishing the last bit of warmth. "I want to die."

The salty tears blend in together along with the harsh rain. The ground began to blemish into the sticky muddy earth. "But I'm scared."

Regrets as she felt empty and colder than ice. The harsh winds began to blow away the last bit of materials she appreciated deeply. Even with the raw and painful words they've said, she couldn't hate them in any way. The loving and cherish moments they've made stopped her from doing so. "I'm a coward for running. A fool for not listening."

The smile that traced over the burnt brother of hers viewed over her mind, carving the last bit of sanity. "A fool for trusting."

"But it's not their fault... It's mine." Blowing the last amount of the black robe from her weakened hold, she felt the fire that grows further streams began to calm down. Her heartbeat rowing slowly and closer to a stop. This was fate. With no purpose and the curse will overpower.

"I'm the disgusting piece of shit." Insulting herself, she hugged herself along with her tattered and muddy-dusty articles of clothing she wore. The waters and muds seeping through and sending jolts of coldness.

"Now I'm alone. I don't have anything or even a purpose..."

Her last sob came out of her throat. Her breathing shallow and light. The freezing air that blows over her fragile state, dying in terms of coldness. "I don't deserve this world."

"It's my fault. It's all mine. I am to be blamed."

"I'm so tired."

Closing her eyes, remembering the thoughts of her friends and families. Their complaining and jokes about her laziness and major exhaustion. Laughing slightly reminiscing happiness in the lowest forms. Taking her rough deep breaths from the coldness. The bags under her eyes and dry tears now soaked by the rain.

"It's so cold..." She closed her eyes, following into a deep slumber. Her shivering body increasing by the tattered clothing she wore. Her soft snore and shallow breathing diminished by the sound of the heavy rain.

Footsteps by the muddy earth and heavy rains came out of the black shades of the portal. Seeing the fallen girl, the man scoffed slightly, picking her up and placing her under his magic covering as an umbrella.

"How pitiful." The deep hoarse voice chiller than the snow. "Yami overdid it."

"How disgusting." Shadows covered her trembling figure, his cape draped over her as a source of warmth. Seeing her belongings fallen around her, burnt and disfigured.

"I'll take her from now." The man spoke, pulling her into spatial magic made of shadows.

"You better fix yourself, Black Bulls."

. ° · 　　　　 ·　. • °
. 　 ⋆ 　　　 ˚ 　✧ * .
. ˚ ✧　 * 　　 . 　　° . .
. 　 . ° . .
❝ Too many toxins. ❞
—like i need u, keshi

8/12/20 ☁︎ blame
. ° · 　　　　 ·　. • °
. 　 ⋆ 　　　 ˚ 　✧ * .
. ˚ ✧　 * 　　 . 　　° . .
. 　 . ° . .

requested.

14K POGGERS. thank u so much ;-;

n btw. i tried my best :( im feeling empty so i cant think much :D