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"YOU GOT THE HIGHEST MARKS IN THE EXAMINATIONS," Haruka looked at you in disbelief, blinking his eyes slowly. "So you really weren't kidding—you are smart."

"I'm a little offended to hear that, but alright," you grinned lazily, looking at the bulletin board. Around you students whispered and pointed towards you, some hissing envy filled vulgarities and others muttering soft praises. The mark sheet from the examinations were out; and right at the top, in bold letters was your name. A perfect score in most of your subjects—you were expecting that anyways. And the name behind...

Second place, Jun. You won that bet after all. You recalled how fervent he had been in his desire to win, to monopolize...and yet all of that was naught, wasn't it? You had won; not him. And now he had to do anything you wanted.

"Wow. Jun's going to be so mad," Haruka crossed his arms. "None of us has seen him ever since the results came out. He's always known for being the top."

"Except now," you unhelpfully added.

"Except now," Haruka smiled. "Daichi had a pretty good chance of getting first too, but looks like he ended up third. Only a two point difference from yours, while Jun has a one point difference. Your idol friend did really well too—fourth."

My idol boyfriend, you mean, you looked with pride at the board. Arata hadn't studied much in the examination, hoping somewhat to slip into the top five rankings—and he had truly achieved it. He was naturally gifted in matters of the brain, like you. Or more like, you two had undergone intensive training from childhood and had been forced into studying the most difficult subjects in the world. That, including your secret spy missions, was enough to render you two set for life.

"He's going to take this really hard. You do know that, right?" Haruka tossed a glance at you warily. The pupils of his eyes kept moving across the ranking sheet, like he was searching for his own name. And when he did, his body sagged with relief. "I passed. Phew. I'm not getting disowned, after all."

"Jun?" You raised an eyebrow. "He'll definitely take this hard. This is the only thing he has going for himself, and I took it away from him. How do you think he feels?"

"Terrible?" Haruka guessed.

"He lost to me all of people, so he might even be contemplating death," you shrugged. "Plus, there's the bet he had to think about. But I've already decided what I'm going to use it for."

"Revenge? His social suicide?" Haruka prompted, looking serious in thought. "He hates you, doesn't he?"

"...Arata would have begged to differ," you admitted, "he thinks Jun likes me. But let's see how well those feelings cope when he loses. First is the winner. Third is still considered good. But second?" You have a long sigh. "Second is the first loser. And especially for a overachiever like Jun, he probably thinks it's the end of the world. I can't begrudge him for that."

"...You talk like Arata knows everything about you. Like he's the closest person in the world," Haruka said suspiciously. "Do I not know something?"

Oh, right.

"Me and Arata happen to be dating," you said casually, "I think I forgot to mention that."

There was an awkward pause, where you looked at him blankly. Then you saw his mouth form into an 'o' and Haruka's eyes widened.

"You and the idol boy," Haruta said slowly, "are dating?"

"Well, your insight really helped. Turns out he was in love with me, and so was I." You smiled genuinely at Haruka. "Then we shared a deep, passionate kiss that lasted so long, it—"

"And...I don't need to hear that," Haruka furrowed his eyebrows warily. "Is that the safest decision? Considering the student council is...?"

"Oh, come on. The student council is a piece of cake. They are nothing compared to the murderous assassins I had to deal with two years ago. Now, they were a real piece of work," you shuddered, "Arata and I suffered greatly and almost had a whole let me resuscitate you with a kiss moment."

"I've pretty much learnt to brush your concerning words away," Haruka said mildly, "but well, good for you. You two can hold on pretty strong yourself. The last few victims were sent running off."

"I never got in touch with them," you brooded over it thoughtfully. "I wanted to get a grasp of the game and the member's characters...but I didn't really expect this outcome."

"Don't worry," Haruka snorted. "Neither did I. No one did, actually. And now with your results beating Jun's, you're in for a ride. You do know Jun is mostly in the student council due to his excellent grades, right? Being good looking helps him, but..."

Hey, now that you thought about it properly—Jun had mentioned this to you before, hadn't he? Something about him not being the richest amongst the council, how his grades mattered the most because—

"—wait," you interrupted. "Who is Jun, actually?"

"Beats me. He isn't the closest to any of them." Haruka cast you a glance, narrowing his eyes. "You aren't planning anything devious, are you?"

"The only devious thing I'm remotely closest to is figuring out what kind of kiss I'll give to my boyfriend later." You deadpanned, rolling your eyes. "Now get on with it. What do you know about Jun? I need as much information as I can get to comfort him later."

Well, Arata did say he wanted to use Jun against Daichi for the game, or whatsoever. That was a bold and wise decision—because for some reason, Daichi was oddly dangerous. Not the petty, minuscule kind of danger but the wild, violent kind: and that made you wonder. Because you had always prided yourself on knowing people well: and here Daichi was, proving you wrong. Simply put, he was a puzzle piece you just couldn't get: there were too many missing links, too little clues.

And something also told you Arata knew something you didn't. But after all, you trusted him. He would tell you when he was ready.

"...Jun pretty much appeared out of nowhere," Haruka was frowning, as he was trying hard to remember. "And he wasn't filthy rich, he didn't have connections, and he became part of the student council relatively swiftly. But something is off between him and the rest. He's...wary of them. Terribly so. There's a crazy rumor around—long abandoned, by the way—that he used to be one of their victims. While that wouldn't make sense theoretically, if you really think about it—it would explain his behavior."

"...That's plausible," you said at last. "Wait, why am I even thinking about him? I'll just get my plan done."

"What is your plan, by the way?"

"Daichi's acting crazy these days," you winced. "So I'll be using the bet with Jun to mitigate the damage. From what Arata mentioned, Jun apparently already has bad blood with Daichi. I'll get him to tell me later."

"Only in private schools will you find these messes," Haruka said with a long sigh. "It's all coming to the surface now. It's such an ugly fight. I mean, if you really think about it, it's funny how all of them have preferences for males. The most eligible bachelors for the girls at our partner school are all gone now."

"So depressing." You lied.

"Right. I bet you feel so sorry for them."

"I don't." You said honestly.

"Thought so," Haruka said in an accusing tone, but his smile was friendly. "See you. Good job for getting first in examinations."

"Good job for passing."

.

.

—

.

.

Second. Jun had gotten second—second, to you all of people. And now there was a smudge in his brilliant academic career, now that millions of scholarships wasted all because of you: all because he wasn't good enough. All because he paled in comparison to the sub. The vibrant, talented sun which was you.

"Fuck," Jun hissed under his breath, feeling a headache rushing on to his head, thrumming under the layers. "There's the money I need to get, and there's Daichi, Arata, and..."

He paused before he said the last name softly.

"And there's [Name]."

Jun only ever participated in the game for money. And he had won before, and that had helped his situation numerous times. The student council members could afford to relax. They could afford to be egotistical bastards who played the game for their own sick entertainment because they would never have to worry about paying the bills, about school fees, about nothing.

Daichi was his worst enemy for many reasons. He had been the one to brilliantly rope him into the situation, get Akio to blackmail him...and for a while, Jun managed to earn money thanks to the warped system they had. But then you came, and...

"That bet," Jun murmured under his breath in defeat, "I never should have made that bet."

There was so much regret, all of it. Regret in enrolling in his school and associating himself with all these people, regret in...

Accepting Arata's offer to get information for the student council. The others were unaware, but Daichi was already on his tracks. Sooner or later, he would be kicked out, and...

It was you.

It was you who had made him distracted: it was you who had made him think of you while he was trying to study, it was you who plagued his mind with your foolish antics, your bright laughter, your words.

.

.

"Calm down." You snapped, "I'm here offering my help as a decent human being, pretending the student council hasn't been coming for my ass for the longest time, and you still have time to bitch to me about how much you hate me."

Jun paused.

"—I can sympathize with your situation. Maybe it's hard for you to trust someone. To trust me. But give it time. Everything will go away."

Damn you. Damn you! Jun wanted to scream in his head. See, this was why he hated you. Just like the time when you two had been cooking together, when he had proposed the bet, when you two had moved in together...why the fuck were you giving him weird jittery feelings like this?

.

.

Jun would have never admitted to himself that fro the briefest flicker of time, you had made him feel alive. That you had cast his worries aside, that you had made him human. For too long he had felt like a cog in the machine, in the system. For too long he had felt so stifled, so suffocated and haunted...the very truth was—the very truth Jun would have killed himself to admit—was that you had touched the very depths swimming in his heart. You had touched upon his struggles, his pain that had been swarming his life.

You had made him feel so safe.

Every night you would wish him good night before he slept.

It had been the first time someone had said that to Jun in years. When his insomnia was at its worst in his adolescence, he used to lie awake in bed for hours and hours, wishing that someone would knock on his door and tell him to go to sleep.

No one ever did, and he eventually grew out of it on his own. Only until Jun had started to room with you, had he realized how much he had missed those words.

And now what? Similar to how you had made Jun live again, you had now tore the only thing that he had survived for. Second place? No one would want that. Second was—

—the worst.

So now what? No more money from Arata after Daichi would come after him, having to probably quit the school...there was nothing Jun could do. He was utterly helpless and weak; and god, how he hated you. He hated how you made him feel so light, how suddenly the feelings that had been dead in his chest for so long jolted up became real.

He hated you. He hated you so, so much...

For a while Jun had longed to see your crushed, devastated face. It would make him better about himself, was what he had repeated to himself. And while part of that was true, Jun had to admit..

"[Name]," Jun closed his eyes, leaning against his chair. His side of the room usually stayed spotless. Clean. Pristine. Perfect. Yet now books were torn, pencils and pens were littered on the ground—the faintest of crimson trickled from his palms where he had gripped the pen too hard. His exam papers were messed up, the brilliant ninety five distorted from how crumpled it was. "You have taken away everything from me. Are you happy now?"

You had taken away his position in this school, his grades—and had stolen away his feelings.

The worst thing was that Jun couldn't even be mad at you.

Not anymore. It was too hard to hate you.

.

.

—

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.

"...Jun." You opened the door of your dorm quietly, only to be greeted by the sight of messiness. It was a wreck that had stunned you—and in the midst of it all, Jun slumped over his desk, his chest rising up and down.

It was funny how peaceful he looked at that moment. His eyelashes were long, unfairly long for a male, and in sleep he looked restive. Gentle. Sweet. And yet his tousled hair; obviously he had been tearing his hair out; and his unkempt clothes told you he had been despairing.

You couldn't even joke around in this situation. You knew how it felt to be second place; the one who wanted to be the best, and yet couldn't. It was you once upon a time, always losing—

"I wonder what you're more bothered by," you murmured softly, "by the fact you lost, or by the fact you lost to me? I would think both."

Jun didn't stir. It was obvious he had been exhausted.

"I heard a lot of things about you," you added. "And I think Arata knows something that I don't, which I'll be sure to inquire about..."

You thought to the bet. Anything you wanted, huh? Arata and you had agreed on making sure Jun would become somewhat you could actively use against Daichi, but..

Your victims would have agreed that you were cruel, able to kill without batting an eyelid. And now as you looked at Jun; tired, pained...you realized you were wavering.

Arata would do whatever you wished to do, so this decision...it was entirely yours. Empathy? Sympathy? What was it you felt towards Jun? He had helped you on multiple occasions, as much as you didn't like to admit. After that brief situation with Terry, you thought you wanted nothing more to do with him. You were ready to throw that chapter of your life down, as well as any expectation you had of him down the drain.

But now it was too difficult for you: you were looking at yourself. Your past life. Or maybe that was why you felt a strange sort of connection with Jun: because he was so alike with you. Was it not you who had bled and suffered just to become who you were now? It was true as many said, that you had indecipherable talent. But what was talent without hard work?

"You said you would do anything I wanted." You said quietly, very quietly, not to wake him up. Your fingers traced the lines of his crumpled papers, looking at the scribbles and crosses he had drawn in. "Then if you are awake, or remotely awake, I want you to listen."

Nothing moved.

"Just leave the school," you muttered. "Just leave the school, live life freely. I'll give you the money to start. We made a bet, didn't we? If I won, you would do anything you wanted. And I did. I won. So now you have to do..."

Jun's fingers moved and his eyes blinked open.

"Whatever I want you to."

.

.

—

.

.

"I don't know why I couldn't just..." you leaned against Arata with a large sigh, "leave Jun alone. and I mean this in a purely platonic way—Jun and I aren't even friends, actually—but I think he reminded me of myself."

The two of you were in a courtyard. It was empty, because everyone else was attending classes—but considering how you had just gotten first and Arata had stayed within the top five, you two figured it would be easy to slip away. It was ridiculously easy.

And you two were supposed to go on a date together, but that went down the drain when the mission date was pushed back.

"You and that douchebag have too many differences to even be in the same sentence."

"Why? Are you jealous?"

For a moment, it was silent—so you didn't quite know whether that had been the appropriate response. But then Arata moved his hand over yours, and you smiled at him. The two of you sat down there together for a long time without speaking, holding hands and leaning on one another. The mellow greens of the soft grass, the creamy yellows of the dandelions, and the rich brown hues of the tree branches seemed brighter. Everything looked more vivid when there was someone sharing the sight with you.

"...What do you think?" Arata said after a while, casting a glance at you.

"I'm flattered," you laughed, kissing Arata in the cheek with a playful smile. "But...I just couldn't. I couldn't place more pressure on him after all that he has had to suffer already." You paused. "Are you upset? It was an opportunity I just tossed away to thwart Daichi?"

"No," Arata pondered over this slowly. "I'm not upset. How can I ever be upset at you?"

"Arata."

"Look, [Name]. I was there at every stage of your life, was I not? I've seen your meltdowns and breakdowns numerous times. And your mother saw it too—she allowed you to relax, to take a break...and soon afterwards, the missions that gave you so much tragedy became fun to you. It's good for Jun. And admittedly..."

"You used Jun to spy on Daichi, didn't you?" You guessed. "He was the mole of the student council."

"I shouldn't have expected anything to get past you, huh," Arata raised an eyebrow, his hand reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The touch was gentle and assuring and instinctively you relaxed into it, releasing a small breath. "But yes. I was, precisely because..."

"Because?" You prompted, looking quizzically at Arata.

"How much of your childhood do you remember?"

"Well, I remembered you, didn't I?"

"Well, yes," Arata murmured. "But before me? Don't you remember someone?"

Flashes of pictures appeared in your mind like quicksilver. But then they distorted and disappeared.

"No...?" You looked at Arata in confusion. "Was there someone before I met you? I mean, there was Inei that I had forgotten, but.."

.

.

"My name is Kazuya Daichi."

.

.

Memories could pop up in the strangest places. Your eyes widened, and you stiffened immediately. Arata must have noticed your tense posture for he immediately started to trace circles in your back.

"You don't mean to say—"

"You've only just remembered?" Arata's words were fondly exasperated. "The reason why Daichi is so obsessed with you. It's because he's Kazuya, [Name]. And you two were childhood friends."

"You've got to be kidding me," you groaned. "Why is my memory so selective?"

"You really don't remember him?"

"...Not exactly. I've been thinking his name felt oddly familiar to him for so long, and only now...god, I feel like an idiot," you hissed under your breath. "And that's why he changed the kidnappers that time. Everything is clicking back into place."

"I didn't tell you sooner," Arata said quietly. "I just thought..."

"You just wanted me to think about you only, didn't you?" You teased Arata, a good natured smile on your face. "Don't worry. I love you."

And it was true. And he loved you too, equally.

Arata didn't look at you with strange looks or thinly veiled horror in his eyes, nor did he talk down to you like you were some anomaly, some person who might break or burst the minute someone raised their voice at you. When it came down to it, Arata was the only one who knew things about you. No one could compare to him: you would have liked to think that the reason why you had been so unlucky earlier was because you had been saving all your luck for your meeting with him.

"...And Jun? You sent him away?"

"He might have only heard dribs and drabs about what I said to him, but it would be better for you to tell him. He's..." you paused. "Jun is someone who is so painfully similar to me for all the wrong reasons such that I cannot turn a blind eye to him. There's Inei, there's Kaen...there's also Akio and Saito—there's all of them. And I can't..."

"There's Daichi too. And he was first. Before me. Before I even—"

There was the faintest bit of panic in his eyes. Arata was worried, that now that he had told you about this new development you would choose to leave, you would choose the one who came before him—

"You know," you told Arata, "after I met you for the longest time, we didn't see each other until months ago? I thought about you all the time. We were kids then, and of course, I was curious. I was curious about the person who just knew me inside out, who.."

Arata had thought about meeting you again and feeling weirdly excited that the stranger seemed sweet towards him, even though he had no reason to expect your friendship—no, not even friendship—some sort of connection, at least. He thought about seeing you at the mall and feeling happier in those few moments with you than he had been the entire morning carrying out little activities Arata once found fun. He thought about how you had smiled with your dimples showing and how your presence has slowly filled the emptiness in the room.

Arata thought about telling everyone that his first love was a boy. His mother's supportive smile, his father' shock, his relatives' disgust. He thought about how happy he had been when you had finally met him, about you waiting for him to wake up so you two could have dinner together and to make trainings a little less boring.

The truth was that Arata thought about every time toy understood what he was trying to say before he even opened his mouth, and how you always treated him with overwhelming gentleness.

"Who understood me so vividly? So effortlessly?" Arata finished the sentence. "Of course. I always thought about that. I always thought about you, [Name]."

"I thought it was something wrong with me at first," you said slowly, "my chest feeling funny, my heart fluttering...you were my first love. You are my first love, and nothing would ever change that. Not Daichi, not Jun, not anyone else in the world."

"[Name]."

"I thought to myself: did it really count if we were eleven and didn't know better? It wasn't really a relationship either, merely an infatuation and a confession that never went anywhere. But I'm facing you right now. I'm with you," you smiled. "So it all worked out in the end, didn't you?"

Arata sucked in a breath. His hand was still in yours and now your fingers threaded together with his, intertwining clumsily.

"I came to school...this school, for what?" You exhaled softly. "To find a rich husband, sure...but you were all the whole time."

"What are you saying?"

"I've achieved everything I wanted," you glanced at him. "Maybe I should...just leave the school."

It would be easier, wouldn't it? You had caused trouble here, there was no doubt. You had fun, you got what you wanted...

Maybe this would allow you to leave the game before anyone else could do anything.

hope it was okay comment your thoughts!