uitwaaien (verb) - to walk in the wind

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tomorrow tonight by loote

ECHO HURTS.

I love you

The thought ricochets through her head as she feels the gentle movements of Joon behind her. He's braiding her now clean hair, fingers moving with effortless technique. She didn't even know he knew how to braid hair, much less dutch braid. He's on the second one now, her other one now hung over her shoulder as she holds her towel to her chest.

The shower had been nice, at least relatively so, even with the scarring agony that breached her skin, ridges of blistering flesh running over her body. They didn't look as bad now, it had been a bit since they scoured her skin, but the initial pain is outlined by the very memory of it all.

Distantly, she registers that Joon ties off her other braid, putting it over her shoulder before speaking. "Did you think about what you want to wear?" His hands thread around her covered stomach in careful, calculated movements and she can feel him press a soft, romantic kiss against the base of her neck. "I can go find Cordelia or Asia if you want."

No.

Echo's throat hurts, for more than one reason if she's being honest. She's not ready to face them, not ready for the firing lines of questions. Not ready for them to see her broken and battered and empty. Joon doesn't press it, but he must feel her tense, because his soft voice is back. The same voice he used for her on the beach. "..you can wear something of mine, if you want."

Echo fights the urge to lean back into him, to curl into his frame and pretend that none of this ever happened. She's so tired. Instead, she nods a little, enough that Joon sees it, and pulls away from his bed to go to his closet.

She'd have been fine staying in the other room, but Joon insisted that she needed somewhere that wasn't doused in ash and soot to sit, where her blistering wounds ran the risk of becoming infected. That is, if they weren't already.

It's not the first time Echo has been scoured in burns, but it's certainly been a while, and the pain is ferocious, more so than she remembered. Looking up, tracing Joon's movements as he dug through his closet, she realized that there were streaks of dark ash staining the front of his shirt. Swallowing her guilt, she raises her eyes to meet his as he approaches her again with a small stack of clothing. His eyes meet hers, and she watches his face light up again, that blooming warmth searing up her chest as a characteristic smirk flicks over his face, "You know Echo, it's very romantic to be wearing your partner's clothing."

More than anything, she wants to react, to say something, but nothing comes to mind, and she only manages to stare at him. He's so pretty, she thinks, and the worst part was that he knew it.

Joon's smile doesn't falter, even if his eyes search hers before looking back down at the thick shirt in his hands, "This isn't super my style, but I've worn it to sleep in, unlike Cassian and Cue, who apparently don't own a shirt." He shook his head before looking back to her, voice softening again, "Do you want me to help you?"

Help me.

The question suddenly wants to make Echo cry. It's so hard to ask for help sometimes, no matter how much she might want it. But, Joon is safe. And so she nods, just barely, and lifts her arms up a little.

Typically, she would feel self-conscious, but honestly, his eyes don't so much as flicker when he helps pull the shirt over her body. There's some kind of in-between paranoia that clutches at her throat, and again, Joon must feel her tense as he adjusts the sleeves of the shirt so she doesn't strain herself.

Embarrassment strains her chest as her eyes avert from his, but Joon's fingers suddenly stroke her cheek, leaning his head down to meet her gaze. "Echo." She meets his eyes almost unwillingly, thick tears clogging her throat as he smiles again, "You know I'd never do anything without asking you, right?" His hand glides to hold her face, pressing an affectionate kiss on the opposing cheek, "I love you. And if you aren't comfortable, you can tell me. You don't have to hide, angel."

You don't have to hide, angel.

The words seem to ring in her ears, and the clogged tears begin to prick her eyes again as he pulls back, pulling the spandex shorts up her legs as gently as possible. Echo blinks, listening as he mutters the occasional word in a language she doesn't quite recognize, but based on the tone, it sounds like an apology. He's said the same word a couple times now, half-under his breath, as if it's more of a subconscious speech pattern rather than an intentional one. 

In a graceful moment, he's up again, adjusting the braids over her shoulder again to be behind her, droplets of soft water sinking in spots against the dark gray fabric of the shirt. He offers another charming smile, before turning back to his closet, eyes scanning the racks before promptly taking off his ruined shirt.

Oh.

Joon has gotten more muscular, and Echo's eyes trail across the outlined one's on his back before realizing what she's doing. Fighting back the shame that crawls out her throat, her eyes return to the discarded shirt. It's probably ruined.

"I'm sorry." Her words are soft, but less dry than before at the least, and it doesn't feel quite as hard to talk now that she's had a shower and some water.

Joon hears them anyway, turning to her briefly before following her tracked gaze to the now discarded shirt. Realization dawns on his features, and he only shakes his head. "I didn't like it that much anyway, besides, maybe I can dye it - or try washing it." His gaze once again flicks back to the shirts before him, adjusting his stance to properly assess what he wanted to wear.

"I could wash it for you."

Her lover pauses again then, eyes glittering as they slowly turn to her. Echo lets the fondness sink its teeth into her heart, locking her own on his as he takes slow, even steps towards her. "Echo, if you just wanted me to take my shirt off, you could have told me, you didn't have to get stuff all over it."

Echo blinks rapidly, fighting the nostalgia that rises rapidly into her voice. Joon remembered. The conversation rang in her head, about the stupid fucking smoothie. He's standing in front of her now, tense, as if he's holding his breath in waiting for her response. "If I wanted to take your shirt off, I would have done it myself."

"Without my consent?" His response is instant, but his hand is now placed on the side of her, face hovering over hers. Eyebrows knitted in fierce desperation. His voice is much more breathless than he probably intended, but Echo truly can't bring herself to care, because that deep, thick fondness pours in waterfalls down into her stomach.

"You're horrible, Ye-Joon." Echo's own voice is soft, but nothing if not affectionate, letting her own eyes sparkle in response, holding his sharp, intense gaze. Silence thickens the atmosphere around them both, but Echo doesn't dare break her gaze from his, reaching her hand up to cup Joon's face in turn, the same way he did only moments ago. "..hi."

She sees it then, a tear streak down his face as his hand reaches up to cover her own, "Hi, Echo." It's only another moment before his arms are around her suddenly, face buried into the crook of her neck as he holds her like she's the only possible thing in the world to do so with. "I missed you."

In response, Echo feels the thick relief flood through her voice, weaving her arms around his neck, blinking back tears herself when she speaks softer than a whisper. "I missed you too."

His arms tighten around her momentarily before pressing a lingering kiss on her shoulder, pulling back to press the same stardust affection on the corner of her mouth. "No, Echo. I missed you." His hand is again on her face, eyes re-ignited with that same fervent desperation. "I don't think I can live without you." Echo feels her own tears burn in the brink of her throat, voice aching to protest.

You did before.

Unmistakably, Joon seems to understand what she's about to say, because his voice strengthens, as if nothing in the world could change his mind. He has that same glimmering determination as he always does, like the kind he's had when they climbed in the mornings. He was a really good rock-climber, and distantly, she wondered if he'd kept at it while she had been gone. "Echo."

Echo can't bear herself to respond, not really, because she feels her chest hitch, burying the first cry that seems to strangle her very soul.

Joon seems to hesitate for a beat, and Echo can see the whirring thoughts in his eyes as they dart over her face, fingers twitching against her cheek while he searches for a way to make her understand. After a silent moment, one laced with unwanted tension, eyes light up with a nebula of thought, turning back to her. "Do you have a favorite food?"

What?

Momentary confusion floods her senses, but Joon's features shift, that charming shit-eating grin radiating in waves of glittering arcana. He pulls his hands away from her face then, retrieving the satchel at his side, and Echo watches him pull out the costume jewelry tiara from the festival a month ago. "Think about it this way. Before you tried your favorite food, you could have lived without it fine. But now, after you've had it, it'd be really hard to never have it again, right?"

Oh.

"Now, I could make a lot of jokes about that analogy." His eyes sparkle, and Echo suddenly feels heat sear up her cheeks at the connection, but his gaze flicks back to the tiara, cleaning it off without his shirt before placing it on Echo's head. "But it's kinda like that. It would deeply affect me to never see you again, so just because I lived without you before, doesn't I could now."

Oh.

"And," Joon sits back across from her, taking her hand in his again, kissing the palm of her hand before holding it back to his chest. "I still think you're beautiful."

It's shallow, and Echo knows that, but she feels her throat constrict as tears burn trails down her face. Another half-muffled sob escapes from behind her hand, but Joon pulls her forward, wrapping arms around her again as her head falls into his chest, closing her eyes. It shouldn't mean that much, really, but it does.

His hand rubs gentle circles up and down her back, kissing the top of her forehead. The normalcy sears in streaks back up her chest, and Echo lets herself give into the urge to just curl into him entirely. Joon's voice is gentle, as it always is with her, "Do you want to tell me what happened now?"

I don't know.

The memories themselves are blurry, muffled behind the visions of smoke and fire. She remembers Cordelia. She remembers the all-consuming anger, the desperate last-attempt with magic that she had made. That horrible, burning fury that lit up the night, re-igniting her wings over and over again, until it had consumed her entirely. How it had burned her out, until she couldn't feel anything at all.

"I'm empty." Her voice is hoarse again, now dry from the rising emotion in her chest.

"Empty?"

"I burned it all out." Echo closes her eyes, letting the chill from Joon's hand soothe her overheating skin. "My magic - I mean. I burned until there wasn't anything left."

And then it started burning me instead.

"I'm empty." Of course it would come back, but she wasn't really sure when. "I think it happened about four days ago, and I made it back to town. Where Bryce is." She squeezed her eyes, gripping Joon's shirt impossibly tighter, enough to turn her knuckles white at the memory. "I got inside my house, to the island but the door-" She feels her breath catch, and Joon's hand pauses against her back, resuming only when she continues. "The door wouldn't open. And I was stuck, and the fire, the magic turned on me instead." As much as she doesn't want to remember, the vivid panic that grips her chest is familiar, "I burned."

Joon is quiet for a moment, that thick, buried silence ringing through the room louder than any words that could have been spoken. "Four days ago?" Echo can't bring herself to verbally confirm it, but the silence seems to answer in ways she never could. "You were in there for four days?" He's saying it in disbelief, or something like anxiety, "Fuck, Echo. Have you been eating at all? Sleeping?"

Silence is her only answer, and Joon's voice is raw with desperation.

"How are you alive?"

"It wasn't the first time."

The response seems to render him silent again, but she hears him muttering something under his breath, in that same foreign language. She's pretty sure it's korean or japanese, because she herself speaks mandarin, and knows it isn't that.

"What are you saying?"

"Sorry?" Joon blinks, registering the question for a moment as Echo traces over his still bare chest. "Oh. Korean, sorry, I switch sometimes when I'm frustrated."

"Oh." Echo pauses herself, tilting her head to look up at him, "..I'm making you frustrated?"

"No- that's not-" Joon sighed, shaking his head, "No, you aren't, unless you're doing it on purpose- I'm feeling a little frustrated for not figuring it out sooner." he blinked, dramatically sighing as he set his chin on her shoulder, a petulant pout crossing his mouth. "I should have snooped way earlier."

Her response is a gentle humm, noncommittal as she tilts her own head towards his face, cupping one side of it with her hand as she presses an affectionate kiss to his cheek. "You're so smart, Ye-Joon, I'm glad you did figure it out."

To her absolute delight, she watches pink tint his cheeks, but he only chooses to mutter something else, intentionally in Korean this time, she's sure, into her shoulder.

Echo can't really help but smile then. A small, insignificant thing as a soft, sparkling giggle escapes her throat. "Poor baby.."

Behind her, she feels Joon's arms tighten around her suddenly, wrapping them around her stomach completely as he shifts his head to face her, eyes bright as a broad smile spreads over his features, watching her like there was nothing better in the universe to possibly admire.

"What?" The words come out far more breathy than she wants them too, caught off guard by the features of pure adoration.

"You laughed." His eyes are fond, and his smile is probably the purest thing she's ever seen. Her heart clenches in response, so she smiles again at him, kissing his cheek the same way as before. Joon's still grinning, pulling back as he again shifts to carry her like before, picking her up almost effortlessly. The romantic side of her damn near swoons when he does, speaking in that same light-hearted tone, "Alright angel, I'm gonna cook you something now." His grin is that same feral charisma as he sets her on the counter of the island in the center of the kitchen, "It's very romantic of me, isn't it?"

Echo feels that same heat sink into her cheeks, but she sighs, leaning forward to hover only inches away from his face, blinking as innocently as she could manage. "Is it?"

"Oh, I think so, and based on that pretty blush, you certainly agree."

"Cheater."

Joon shakes his head, walking away to pull out ingredients, and Echo blinks hard as she traces the tattoo on his back, feeling her eyes widen.

A phoenix.

"Oh." Her voice is soft, but it still pulls Joon from whatever he's making back to her, silently raising his eyebrow as he leans against the counter in question. Echo shakes her head "I forgot about that tattoo."

Without specifying, Joon seems to know what she's referring too, and only grins as turns back to the food laid out on the counter, "That's cause we're soulmates Echo. Which I knew by the way, Cordelia told me, so there."

Echo isn't all that surprised, and silently suppresses the radiating joy that seems to spark across her being, soothing any kind of pain that might have clenched at her body only a moment ago. "Well, that's not fair."

"Don't be a sore loser Echo."

"I am not a loser."

"Yes you are." His sneering grin illuminates Echo's soul, reflecting the feeling of safety as he shakes his head, walking away to pull out ingredients, "Clearly, I've used my charms to make you fall in love with me. So, naturally, I win."

"I never said I loved you."

Echo watches Joon pause then, silence suddenly ricocheting off the walls as he freezes exactly where he is as if time had stopped entirely.

Echo feels herself smile, "Ye-Joon." He doesn't respond, but he doesn't need to. "I didn't get to say it to you, so can you come here so I can?"

Joon turns then, meeting her gaze, and obediently walks over to her, planting his hands on either side of where she sits. His eyes are impatient, despite the smile he's oh-so-desperately trying to hide. "Well?" Echo bites back her own blooming grin, cupping his face with both of her hands, leaning closer to him, pausing for only a moment as she watches Joon sharply inhale. She can't hide her smile then, so she doesn't, and presses her mouth against his, pulling back for only a breath to murmur the words back to her embodiment of a harmony.

"I love you too."

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

wyn !!

twenty-first chapter done !

another nice long one bc
echo deserves happiness
and you all deserve an apology 

at least my burn gives me a small
idea of the texture and sensitivity
that i put echo through- so :')

fun fact: On Joon's form he actually
does have a phoenix tatt, isn't that
the most perfect thing ever :sob:

<3 all my love to you