𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍
-𝟎𝟎𝟏-

Maria Atkinson was a force to be reckoned with. She had broken hearts both literally and metaphorically. She was a woman with a gun and enticing eyes. The smoke that invaded her lungs matched the smoke that hung in the air.

She had a haunted mind, haunted memories. Memories of the man she once loved. She saw him in every face she passed. In every man whose head hung low and had eyes that held secrets and horror.

And she had swore that Small Heath would never get the joys of seeing her face ever again. And she planned to never return. Not until the murmurs of the Peaky Blinders began to increase in the clubs that she helped run. Not until she began seeing their news in the papers more and more each day.

Maria grew curious. And curiosity always kills the cat.

So, with a loaded gun and her red stained lips, Maria Atkinson found herself driving back into the cold, mean streets of Birmingham after almost three years.

She stepped from the car after slipping some money into her drivers hand. The moment her heels touched the cobble, shivers ran down her spine. Maria heard the car drive off and she pulled her cigarettes from her pocket and placed one between her lips.

Maria didn't light the cigarette though. It was something she did often. She would enter a bar with an unlit cigarette, knowing that somebody would offer her a light. More often than not, a man would offer.

So, with one final deep breath, she walked toward the pub she had not set eyes upon in quite a while. Maria could hear the noise from outside. It was booming. She pushed the door open and was met with a new, expensive looking interior.

The red and gold detailing was something she could get used to.

Maria guided herself through the drunk crowds and sat herself upon a stool at the bar. It wasn't long until she heard a familiar old and raspy voice practically shout at her. "Here ya are, love. Here!" He said, holding a lighter dangerously close to her face as he lit her cigarette.

He hadn't payed much attention to her as he did so and turned away almost straight after he had lit the cigarette.

But Maria could recognise that face anywhere. It was Arthur Shelby. The eldest of the four Shelby brothers. The one named an animal on numerous occasions. Despite Maria's absence, she had kept tabs on the gang.

She cleared her throat and glanced over her shoulder. She liked to observe and listen to all that she could.

It wasn't long until she heard a gasp. Like somebody was in distress. And they were, in a way. Maria frowned and her eyes landed on a woman with curled hair and a wrinkled face. Polly Gray.

"Holy Jesus.." was all Polly could get out. "Is that Maria Atkinson?" She asked, a hand on her chest.

Maria got down from the stool and left her cigarette in an ashtray. "Polly," Maria nodded, her dark eyes meeting Polly's. "I heard there was a party."

Polly let out a laugh of relief and walked to the girl, pulling her in for a hug. "I never thought i'd see the day that you would be back in Small Heath." She admitted. Maria nodded. "Neither did I." She said.

"Does Thomas know you're back?" Polly asked, aware of the pair's troubles before Maria had picked up and left.

Maria shook her head. "I'm sure he'll find out soon enough." She said with a sigh. Polly gently brushed her cheek. "John will be delighted to see your face, do you know that?" She whispered, "broke his heart when you left."

Maria's eyes softened at the mention of her old friend. John Shelby. The innocent. Well, not completely innocent but compared to his elder brothers, he was an angel. He had the face of an angel too. He and Maria had grew up alongside one another. They would get in trouble together.

"Is he here?" Maria asked genuinely, longing to see a comforting face.

Polly nodded toward the table across the room where John was sat with a few others. Maria thanked Polly with a nod and walked toward the table. "Could I have one of those?" She asked, referring to the box of cigarettes that sat in front of him.

John slowly came out of conversation to look at whoever had spoke to him. And the moment he set eyes on her, his mouth parted with shock.

"Maria?" He jumped up from his chair and wrapped his arms around her. She laughed into his shoulder and he closed his eyes. "Hello, John." She said. John squeezed her slightly before pulling back to look her in the face. "What are you doing back?"

"I heard about the Garrison in the newspaper. Thought i'd come and see if everything I was hearing was true." She said.

John let out a breath and smiled. "God, i've missed your face." He admitted, feeling somewhat relieved to see her after so long.

The pair never had anything romantic with one another. Though, they were each other's first kiss... they were quite plainly just friends.

"Artha! Oi, Artha! Have you seen who is here?" John laughed, an arm slung over her shoulders as he dragged her toward the bar. Arthur placed down the whiskey bottles to turn his attention to his younger brother and, at first, he didn't clock onto what he had said.

It was only when he saw the woman at John's side that he realised.

"Fucking hell.. is that Maria Atkinson?" He spoke, arms out wide to embrace her. She laughed again. "I was sat at the bar before, Arthur. You even lit my cigarette for me." She told him.

"Ah, i'm sorry. I'm ever so sorry, love. My heads like a zoo at the minute." He explained, letting go of her and running a hand through his hair.

"It's okay, Arthur." She assured with a nod. Arthur looked around quickly, as if his mind was running at one hundred miles per second. "I'll see ya later, eh." He said before departing. Maria looked up at John and he tutted. "Yeah, he's gone off the rails a bit recently." He said awkwardly.

"Bless his heart." She said with sympathy.

"Oh- have you met my wife?" He asked, slight excitement in his voice. She shook her head. John guided her back toward the table and nodded toward the dark haired girl who sat with Finn. "Esme, this is my old friend Maria. Maria, this is my wife Esme." He introduced.

Maria held her hand out. "It's lovely to meet you." She said genuinely. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," Esme said with slightly pink cheeks.

Isiah Jesus gave Maria a once over and John was quick to notice. He stepped on his friends foot, causing him to hiss in pain and pull his foot away.

"Does Tom know you're back?" A now teenage Finn asked her. She sucked in a breath. "You're the second person to ask me that tonight, Finn. And i've not even been here for an hour." She said sternly. Finn shrugged and went back to playing a game of cards.

John cleared his throat and leaned in slightly. "I think he knows now." He said.

Maria frowned and turned around, spotting Tommy stood beside the bar whilst talking to Ada, his eyes completely glued to the Atkinson woman.

And it was that moment where everything seemed to stop. For both of them. Everything came back to them. His hands were in his pockets and he had stopped listening to whatever it was that Ada had been saying.

"Tommy, are you listening?" Ada finally asked with a sigh. Tommy raised his eyebrows and looked at her. "Hm?" He asked. She sighed and shook her head. "Never mind."

He cleared his throat and swallowed hard. "Do you want a drink Ada?" He asked awkwardly, trying to avoid looking back at Maria despite feeling her eyes burning into him. Ada tilted her head at his sudden shift in behaviour and looked over her shoulder. "So she's what had your attention then, hm?" Ada nudged him in the side.

Tommy ignored her and walked to the bar, swiping a bottle of whiskey before walking into the back room.

John nodded at Maria, implying that she follow after him. She didn't move. "You have to talk to him eventually. It's been years." He said to her.

She took a breath and walked into the back room, walking through the red curtains to see Tommy who was sat at a table. "Thomas." Was all she said. He looked up for a moment. "You're back." He said.

"I am." She confirmed. "I saw the Garrison re-opening in the papers and thought I'd pay a visit." She explained cautiously.

Tommy hummed and took out a box of cigarette. "Please, sit." He gestured toward the chair opposite him. She did as he said and waited for him to speak as she was unsure of what to say. He lit one and took a drag before handing it to her. "Why did you really come back, Maria?" He asked.

She almost laughed at him. "You're quite the topic in London. Did you know that?" She questioned.

"I could've guessed." He said with raised eyebrows.

"Almost three years and you're still as arrogant as you were back then." She shook her head slowly. Tommy met her eyes. "And you're just as beautiful." He said with not an ounce of emotion in his voice.

Silence lingered for a moment.

He took a deep breath. "You know, i've never liked reunions. I've never liked dancing around the words we want to say."

"Yes, well. Look where that landed you last time." She sighed with frustration. Tommy chuckled dryly and tapped his cigarette against the ashtray. "Do you have a man?" Tommy asked.

Her eyebrows raised at his confidence. "I had a fiancé."

"Not anymore?" Tommy asked. Maria shifted in her seat. "He's dead." She responds. "My apologies." Tommy cleared his throat. "I killed him." She added. Tommy paused and looked her in the eyes. She was serious. The look in her eyes made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

The Maria he knew three years ago would have never dreamed of laying a finger on anybody.

"And you? Where is your pretty barmaid?" She asked slyly. Tommy poured a glass of whiskey. "In New York, I believe. She's married." He told her. "She left mere months after you did."

"Did she get sick of you too?" She asked.

Tommy took a deep breath. "You know, I haven't spent a day without thinking about you." He shared her directly in the eye. Maria said nothing. Her lips parted and her eyes looked into his. "Polly told me to forget about you. I told her no. Do you want to know why?"

"Not particularly." She admitted. Maria stood and spun on her heels.

"Because I knew we would cross paths again." Tommy said before she could leave. She froze and looked down at her feet. "You once loved me, Maria. Do you not feel that way anymore?"

"It's been three years, Thomas." She reminded him. It wasn't a no. "You are the reason I left this place. You are not the reason I came back."

"What was the reason?" He asked again.

"Are you dim?" Maria insulted. "I told you only mere moments ago it was because of what I saw about this place in the papers. And if you must know, I came because I had not seen John in so long. You were not the only man in my life that I loved. Though it was a different love.." she swallowed hard.

"Three years and you haven't changed." Tommy recited her words and watched the anger in her face. "Three years and yet you make it so easy for me to get under your skin."

"God, you're pathetic." She shook her head and pulled back the curtain. "Take a look in the mirror, Tommy. And you'll realise why everything you touch seems to break."

And then she disappeared. Tommy stared down at the table and thought for a few moments. He had missed her. There was no doubt about it. He wished that she would have smiled and told him all about her life in London.

But she hadn't. She had done the opposite.

The most he knew was that she had a fiancé who she had killed. And that she didn't love him anymore. Or at least that was what she had told him. Maria Atkinson no longer had eyes that revealed the truth within seconds. They were eyes that seemed to protect every thought that passed through her mind.

Three years and so much yet so little had changed.

Tommy had told no lie. She had been the last thing he thought of every night before his mind finally rested. And Polly had indeed told him to forget about her.

Tommy reached into his suit pocket and pulled a letter. It came from America. The handwriting neat and addressed him. He didn't open it. He didn't want to open it. He took out his matches and lit one, holding it against the corner of the paper and allowing it to set it aflame.

Although he didn't want to forget about Maria Atkinson, he wanted to forget about Grace Burgess.

©-shelbysecret-

tiktok: shelbysecret.wp

Authors Note:
- I wrote this today, didn't proof read it. I want to see how well it does and if you guys like the idea of it before I continue writing.
- I MAY end up taking it down to either continue writing or not write at all but i'll let you know if I do that.

ALSO: in future chapters it is not "moving too quick" i need you to remember that Tommy and Maria have known each other for YEARSSSS like since they were children and had a romance since before the war.
Thank you.

Any opinions leave here: