The woods was like a maze. Every turning and corner looked the same. I was going on an endless treck through the same paths. The only difference in the image was how high the sun was, and how much I could see.

I grabbed at every tree I could, resting my weight on each one to try and dull the pain.

I know the treatment for injuries. I had been inflicted them for so long, it was second nature. Bruises and cuts were a colour I had seen more than I should have.

I knew that I needed to rest, but I just couldn't. The need to get back was too much, the pain was just background noise.

But it was only so long you can bear it.

My bottom lip shook as hot tears streamed down my cheeks, my eyes burned and watered for the longest time.

My cheeks even started to hurt as I kept trying to silence myself.

I could hear birds, the soft treading of my feet on the ground, and the small whimpers that escaped me for hours on end.

I begged my body to stop but it never let up.

"I can- I can't," I whispered to myself, looking around at the dull green moss that littered the scenery.

I could feel my ankle swelling in my boot, it heating up and aching with every single step.

"C'mon," every piece of hope I held inside me pushed my legs forward.

It was a good thing I had some idea of where I was going.

There was no one with me.

It was just me now.

And the place I knew had supplies, was the highway. We had left some for Sophia, and we had all been so busy that we never went back after we found her. So they must have still been there.

Now, I wasn't an expert tracker, or really an expert in anything, but I had a little bit of faith in myself that I could find the highway.

The sky had turned from dark to light, from black to grey. From daunting to hopeful.

But hope was horrible, it never usually amounted to anything for me.

I couldn't take it anymore; bottling it all in. The darkness was too much, it was leaking from my skin. The only thing I could do was feel it all at once. Feel everything, all that I had done had to come back eventually. The only thing I had to stop that from happening was the pain travelling up my leg.

I took a moment, falling to the ground right next to a small river. I took my shaking, cold fingers and ripped at the base of my shirt. My small hands could only do so much, and the bones of my hands ached under the pressure.

After gathering a long piece of fabric that once covered my stomach, I took my boot carefully in my hand. Slipping it off was an arduous activity, but I soon got it off to see the makings of purple creeping up my ankle.

Carefully, and painfully, I wrapped all I had around the joint. Going as tight as I could whilst still giving it enough room to breathe. The skin was warm and tight, and I knew I would have to get it cold soon.

All I could do was walk more, getting up from the ground to pass the river after I put my boot back on.

I tread through the water, and it was freezing. I wrapped my arms around myself, gripping tightly to try and conserve any heat I had left. My teeth chattered wildly, making me hurt even more.

It took some effort to climb up various small, but steep hills. For each, my leg would drag behind me, whilst the rest of my body used every ounce of strength to haul myself forward.

It almost seemed unreal, seeing the highway. A slither of something I could never taste. I thought I would get lost, have to fend for myself for the rest of my life. And yet, there it was.

The highway was behind a few more trees, and I could see the metal railing that fenced it off. I could see the cars, rusted and old.

It didn't feel real that I had done something right.

My heart beats faster as I travelled towards the highway with greater speed, and great pain. I sobbed heavily as my ankle could not take it. I hobbled, limped, and struggled my way forward.

And when I did make it, I hear voices. I heard names.

"We're the only ones that made it so far," the distinctive volume to his voice set me on edge.

I shivered, naturally taking a step backward.

Wrapping my arms around my stomach, pinching my sides, I slowly limped closer to the sound.

Even if it was coming from him, my body still reached out for the company.

"Shane?" It was Lori.

A solemn silence followed. I had no idea what they were talking about.

"Andrea?" And there was Glenn.

By that time, I made it to the very steep path to the railing. I gripped the soil and climbed, my jaw taut as I struggled. The dirt got under my nails, and the pain everywhere worsened.

"She saved me then I lost her."

Carol.

"We saw her go down."

T-Dog.

"Patricia?" Hershel followed next.

All these people were alive.

And all those people were dead.

At the top of the hill, I crawled under the railing and onto the concrete road. Stones stuck into my palm before I gripped the back of a nearby car to stand.

"They got her too. Took her right from me I was-... I was holding onto her daddy, she jus-"

The small sobs of a seventeen-year-old followed, and it reminded me too much of myself.

Seventeen was a fragile age, and I was already cracked at my edges by then.

"What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

I had seen Jimmy.

"He was in the RV. It got overrun."

Glenn spoke again, an urgency and despair in his voice. "Marley was in there. Wha-?"

"What?" I didn't know that one word from him could make my stomach warm until then. Warm in a good way. "You sure?" A hint of worry laced Daryl's voice.

I had been standing and listening for too long then, so I used little dents in the car to maneuver around it.

And there they were.

It wasn't all of them, but...

My hand squeaked on the glass, making a loud high noise.

The group didn't hesitate into action, as they turned frighteningly towards me. Rick loaded and pointed his gun right towards me. And then they all hesitated. Like they didn't know if I was real enough, or alive enough.

I raised my hands, in a surrendering motion.

"Jimmy didn't make it," I voiced, and I could see everyone relax.

Walkers didn't talk.

"But- b-... but I got out," my throat was hoarse and dry. I seemed smaller than I had ever been. Like in any moment I would just disappear.

A silence followed, as weapons were lowered and everyone looked at me. I didn't look back, just simply cast my eyes to the ground. I was like an omega wolf; the bitch of the pack. The weaker one.

The one in last place.

Glenn tore himself away from everyone, and I could see his legs walk towards me. I could feel his arms gently come around me. He enveloped my shoulders, placing my head on his front.

I didn't know what to do, but just stiffly stood in his embrace.

He rubbed his hands up my back comfortingly.

I didn't understand.

The emotions threatened to spill, but it was like a nuclear reactor. It was too large a risk of letting the bad things out, so I didn't let anything out.

He held me out in front of him, a small, sad smile across his lips. Relief on his features and gratefulness.

It would be Glenn who was thankful I was back.

Glenn had a constant forgiving nature, even for the most horrible of people. It was a weakness and a strength in him... more a weakness. Because he forgave people like me.

No one wanted to talk to me. They didn't even look straight at me. There was an awkward pause before someone spoke up in worry. "You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked.

Lori had her back turned to me. "There were walkers everywhere?"

I remember the amount. I was surprised I got out without getting bitten or at least scratched. All the injuries were my fault. The sprained ankle, the bruised and cut knuckles.

"Did you see her?" Carol continued.

The last I had seen of Andrea was her handing out guns and saying we should take them all on.

"I'm gonna go back," Daryl started to get on his bike and I watched his hands as they steadily gripped the handlebars.

But Rick spoke up, his tone dark and authoritative. "No."

For once, I agreed. I didn't feel the need to go back to try and find Andrea. Despite it being possible that I could have really needed for them to go back to the farm to find me.

But I found my way.

My uninjured leg was starting to ache, as I balanced on one foot. I wobbled slightly.

"Can't jus' leave her," Daryl tried to reason, looking at Rick with a raised eyebrow. He stopped getting onto his bike and looked to our leader.

"We don't even know if she's there," Lori added. It seemed the grimes couple wanted to move on.

Glenn, who was still standing beside me closely, looked at me expectantly. "Did you see her?"

For a moment, I just stared at the ground with a raised eyebrow and slightly parted mouth. I was taking slow breaths as I lazily blinked.

I gave a small shake of my head, licking my lips.

"She isn't there. She isn't," Rick spat. "She's somewhere else, or she's dead." The word 'dead' had a bitter undertone. The man seemed on edge and ready to bite anyone who questioned it. "There's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn was aghast to the indifference Rick had. How Rick could abandon someone in our group by not even trying.

"We gotta keep moving," was his excuse. "There have been walkers crawling all over here."

T-Dog, who was still leaning on the blue truck door, spoke up. "I say head east."

"Stay off the main roads," Daryl's voice was next, and it caused me to look up from the ground towards him. He grasped his crossbow from his bike. "The bigger the roads the more walkers. More assholes like this one."

My eyes widened as he walked towards me with his weapon raised and ready.

But Glenn steadily held you shoulders to move me from his way, and he walked past.

"I got him."

I looked over my shoulder just as the arrow flew into a walker's eye.

I swallowed.

I was freezing. My stomach peeked from my shirt where I had ripped it. My sleeves were thin and had been soaked with blood for hours so that they clung to my skin. My trousers were wet from treading water.

Everyone around me started to get into cars. Going in groups so they could even out.

Glenn stood helplessly with his hands still on my shoulders, and it seemed he didn't know what to do with me. It was obvious he wanted to be with Maggie.

From my left, someone gently grasped my upper arms from Glenn.

"I got her," Daryl's gruff voice echoed in my ear and made me jump in my skin.

Glenn nodded to him over my head and approached the Greene family.

It seemed they were getting in one car, and the grimes family were getting in the other. T-Dog was hastily gathering the leftover gas from the blue truck he was driving.

"Can ye' walk?" Daryl asked me as I was looking around at everything with tired eyes.

I didn't answer, the little amount of effort a yes or no could take was still too much for me.

Daryl responded by taking my arm and looping it over his shoulders. Holding me by my hand tightly, and scaredly around my waste.

Since he was much taller than me, I gained a few feet in height and balanced awkwardly. He let me put all my weight on him.

We walked forward slowly towards his bike, awkwardly trying our best to make our predicament work despite the height difference.

He set me down on the bike, and I wrapped my arms around myself again.

I watched him carefully. I analysed the blood that splattered the side of his face and jacket. His hair was dirty and disheveled.

He kept his eyes away from me, and I figured because my pale skin was still covered, head to toe, in dark blood.

He reached towards the back of his bike, where he had his saddle bags.
He placed the large leather jacket in my lap, not saying a single word and standing back before me.

I slowly pulled my arms through the jacket, pulling up the sleeves so my hands could peek out.

"Thanks, Daryl," my voice cracked.

He rubbed his cheek, sighing heavily as he looked around at everyone. The people were starting to get into cars and ready to go.

I moved one of my legs over to the other side so he could straddle his bike.

And when everyone had left the pavement, I leaned forward and pressed my cheek to his back, closing my eyes and carefully wrapping my arms around his waste. He tensed at the contact for a moment but relaxed as he started the engine.

Even though my emotions were pretty void of me in that moment, I had this overwhelming sense of peace. Like if I died there, right then, it would be okay. Because I had my hands grasping Daryl's blue shirt, with my thighs snuggly pressed up against his.

Daryl's presence came with a peace I couldn't get with anyone else, and it made me want to cling to him now.

I hadn't realised it before.

Before I needed it.

+

The only thing that kept me awake was the sheer noise that was coming from Daryl's motorbike. I had created a warm silhouette against him, his leather jacket drowning me with heat.

But then the noise died down, and I opened my eyes as we slowed to a stop in front of all the cars.

I looked over my shoulder, to the windshield where Rick's dark eyes stared back for a split second. I blinked rapidly and looked away.

Daryl turned off his engine as everyone else did, and quickly swung off the bike. I stayed on.

Everyone exited and gathered at the front of the line, carrying guns with tense shoulders.

"You out?" Daryl was the first to speak.

"I'm running on fumes," Rick's steps were hard and rushed. He was tense and everyone could tell.

Maggie approached the middle, a large shotgun in her arms. "We can't stay here."

"We can't all fit in one car," Glenn reasoned, he was behind me.

Rick looked around our scenery, and I noticed the blood that stained the front of his jacket and hands. "We'll make a run for some gas in the morning."

Carol tugged her cardigan tighter to her small body. "Spend the night here?"

"I'm freezing," Carl shuddered, as his mother rubbed her hand on his chest to warm him up.

I let my hands fall into Daryl's jacket, curling my fists and swinging my leg to sit sideways on his bike. I stared at the fabric make-do bandage that peeked out from my boot.

It still hurt.

"We'll build a fire," she assured him. Her husband untangled his own jacket from himself, giving it to his son to keep warm.

"Anybody goes out lookin' for firewood, stay close," Daryl advised. He analysed his crossbow. "Only got so many arrows, how you doing on ammo?"

Rick kept pacing. "Not enough."

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out," Maggie stated.

Her father reprimanded her. "Watch your mouth. Everyone stop panicking, listen to Rick."

I didn't want to listen to Rick. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to be around him.

I almost died because Jimmy drove the RV to save him.

Rick held a black pistol in his hand, and he kept waving it up and down as he spoke. "Alright, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now and try to scrounge up some gas," Maggie tried again. It seemed she wasn't afraid of admitting that she was afraid. That she didn't want to stay in one spot because that could just leave us as sitting ducks.

Rick raised a hand to her, stopping Maggie before she could speak anymore. "No, we stay together. God forbid something happens; people get stranded without a car."

He was putting more bite into his words than he let on.

Glenn sighed heavily. "Rick, we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad," he spat. The ex-cop letting anger lace his words, layering the wrong type of authority on every syllable. "We've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other."

He took a moment to suck in a breath and lower his eyes to the ground.

"I wasn't sure- I really wasn't, but we did. We're together."

I didn't know if together was the best - with clashing personalities and my propensity towards violence.

"We keep it that way."

I could hear the stream nearby flowing heavily.

"We'll find shelter somewhere, there's gotta be a place!" Again, he sounded angry. Tense. Ready to burst a vessel at the slightest comeback.

Everyone seemed to stand and listen, and I would have said something about sitting on top of danger but I really wasn't in the mood to be yelled at.

Glenn was the one to do it. "Rick, look around. Okay, there's walkers everywhere- okay, they're migrating or someth-."

"There's gotta be a place; not just where we hole up, but we... fortify. Hunker down. Pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other?" Rick hissed. "I know it's out there, we just have to find it!"

Maggie sounded dull and tired. "Even if we do find a place, we think is safe, we can never be sure for how long," I noticed her southern accent had strengthened, probably from the stress. "Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that was safe."

Her father assured her. "We won't make that mistake again."

I didn't say a word on anything. Still pretty dazed, tired, and in pain.

Again, another awkward pause as people sensed Rick's hostility. The leaves ruffled beneath his feet as he constantly stepped back and forth. He looked between us and where the noise of the river was coming from. "We'll make camp tonight over there." He pointed to a small, seemingly old, stone structure. "Get on the road at the break of day."

More people started to spread out, I turned slightly in my seat to get a better look around.

Carol spoke directly to Daryl, a frown on her forehead. "Does this seem right to you?"

I looked to him, and he quickly diverted his gaze from her own. He didn't answer, and he looked uncomfortable.

Beth stepped forward. "But what if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's."

Randall.

And then they all came back together again, and I simply laid my hands in my lap as they created a bubble of chatter I was outside of.

"You know I found Randall," Daryl started.

I perked up, the breath catching in my throat.

"He'd turned, but he wasn't bit."

I furrowed my brows in confusion. They must have been mistaken. A walker must have gotten to him and they never looked hard enough for a bite.

You can't turn from just dying.

Beth voiced my worries. "How's that possible?"

Lori looked desperately to her husband for some answers. "Rick, what the hell happened?"

"Shane killed Randall." My head shot up at the sound of his voice, and the words that he said. He didn't look at me for any second, instead around the group.

I coughed in my throat, biting the end of my tongue and watching Daryl intently.

I seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"Just like he always wanted to."

I knew he wasn't talking about Shane.

Lori had a confused look on her face. "And then the herd got him?"

And then there was a moment, filled with the sounds around us. The chirping of birds and breeze billowing, along the river, flowing. The volume around me amplified like my mind was telling me to listen. Pay attention - appreciate it.

Or to look for something; I wasn't too sure.

Rick squinted in the sunlight, his eyes falling from everyone. "We're all infected."

For a moment I had no idea what he meant. Infected with what?

Were we all sick?

Daryl voiced my confusion. "What?"

"At the CDC, Jenner told me," Rick started. "Whatever it is, we all carry it."

What I gathered from that, was that I would always be a monster. I was just like them now. The sickness wasn't just mental, it was physical. The disease of this world coursed through all our veins. And it was a great way to wake everyone up, to human nature.

+

Something about the cold was so inviting like it was telling me to drown myself in the icy liquid that flowed through my hands.

I was sitting on the bank of the river, my fingers dipping into the water and staying there. They started to get numb.

"Marls."

I turned quickly, bringing my hands out of the water. Droplets landed on my cheeks, my nose, and eyelashes.

He was there, as always. His dark silhouette haunting my own. He leaned on one leg, and I saw he had something in his hand.

I only got a better look when he lowered himself to sit beside me. He had a roll of bandage, the ones that came packed in plastic - probably from a first aid kit.

He handed me the item, before digging into his pocket and handing me a handkerchief to go with it.

I was still wearing his jacket from earlier.

"You've got-" he paused, and I looked at the things in my hand to his face. "A hell of a lot of blood... on you."

"I know, I was there," I replied, lifting an eyebrow.

There was a pause in the air as I felt his eyes burn into me as I dipped the handkerchief into the icy water beside me. Dragging it roughly across my face and through my hair, the old material scratched my skin.

"Why did you lie?" I asked. "Why do you always lie, Daryl?" My tone had an underlining of friction, I didn't mean to be there.

"What?"

"You know Shane didn't kill Randall."

He didn't answer for a moment before I dropped the cloth onto my lap and looked at him expectantly.

He had his arms resting on his knees, eyes on my own and a shadow casting his face. I could read that he didn't want to answer me.

"People don't need to know," he answered, his voice small and shy. "Ain't none of their business."

I felt a bubbling feeling rise up inside of me. A concoction of emotions bursting at my seams. But I stared vacantly at his blue eyes, mouth straight, eyes dead.

"What happened?" He enquired. I noticed the tension in his voice. Like he was apprehensive to ask me anything.

"I woke up, found out Randall wasn't dead and changed that," I didn't feel anything.

Anything at all.

"I was in the RV, and broke Jimmy's neck when walkers attacked him."

Nothing at all. There was nothing to feel because nothing was there. At least, that's what I thought.

"Y'alright?" His question was strange. So foreign.

I didn't know if I was alright. But I knew "yes" was nowhere near the right answer.

I slowly shook my head, sucking in my cheeks. I looked down to my hands, rubbing the handkerchief on my fingers and nails.

My eyebrows screwed together.

"I still remember the first thing you said to me." We ain't murderers. "And I remember that it does not make sense for me to say it."

Then I released every tension in my body, laying back with my hands on my stomach.

"Lay back with me, Daryl," I whispered, closing my eyes send breathing out slowly.

He was staring at me confusedly, I could tell. And I didn't know whether he had laid beside me or not but I kept talking.

"I don't know what to feel. Or how to feel. It's like it's all gone because I'm not allowed it all anymore."

"I killed Randall and felt pleasure for a second, before feeling nothing."

"I feel nothing. It's all inside but I just..." I reached my arm up, curling my fingers in the air up to the darkening sky. "Can't reach it."

I opened my eyes, bringing my hand to my head and wiping my forehead with the back of my hand.

"I'm straight up losing my mind."

+

woop woop WE HATH FINISHED S2 THIS CHAPTER IS A MESS AND I H8 MYSELF

but don't worry my goats this is not the end of the book

(i'm sure i've used that gif before lmao)

(reuploaded to add "I still remember the first thing you said to me." We ain't murderers. "And I remember that it does not make sense for me to say it." into it bc i always planned it and i fucking forgot last night kill me pls)

Enjoy some very nice selfies to make up for this terrible chapter

- sylar