❝And who here is not buried in another person's heart?❞

RICHARD JACKSON

✩

3.6 : 1214 westview drive

ESTHER IS CREMATED SOME TIME AFTER FIN IS DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL. She lets Spencer handle all of the paperwork; she refuses to know the date or where it was, refuses to let Esther occupy her mind any longer. She will be free of Esther's chains.

 But she is sure to attend Adrian Bauer's funeral the weekend after she is discharged. She must make sure that Melissa is alright. She promised Bauer she would.

It is a balmy September morning, humid and cloudy, threatening rain, and the cemetery is largely deserted, except for the small group huddled around a single casket. The entire team is there at Fin's request, along with several other FBI agents and friends of Bauer's, his parents, Lars, and Melissa, who is very pregnant and oddly very unemotional.

Fin leans heavily on Spencer's arm, only half-listening to the minister. It's still difficult to walk, as the muscles in her stomach are not fully healed, but she's getting better. She refuses to use a walker or a wheelchair; she will stand for this. Adrian deserves that much respect.

When the service is over, Fin makes the rounds, shaking his friends' and parents' hands and offering her condolences, and then walks over to Melissa. She is staring at the casket, as the pallbearers lower it into the ground, her eyes entirely dry, one hand resting on her stomach.

Fin looks up at Spencer, letting go of his hand. "I need to do this one on my own."

Spencer raises his eyebrows at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Fin nods. "I'm sure."

Very carefully, focusing on her balance, she steps closer to Melissa, who swallows hard, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Melissa, I'm so sorry for everything," Fin says softly. "I didn't know Adrian very well, but I know how much you meant to him, and how much he fought to be with you."

Melissa does not reply, but now there are tears pooling in her eyes.

"He loved you very much," Fin continues, despite the lump in her own throat. "And before he–before he was killed, I promised him I'd do whatever I could to make sure you and your baby were safe. I intend to keep that promise. So if you ever need anything–and I mean anything–I want to be your first call." She hands Melissa her business card with a shaking hand.

"Thank you," Melissa whispers, finally meeting Fin's eyes, a single tear escaping down her cheek. "Thank you so much."

Fin pulls her into an embrace, hiding her own tears as quickly as she can. "I would have given my life for his," she says, fighting a full-on breakdown with all her might. She is so close to crying these days, but it is understandable, all things considered. "In a heartbeat."

"Agent Finley, I know how you feel." Melissa pulls back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "But Adrian loved his work. He was never happy when he wasn't useful. I think it's only fitting he died doing what he loved, and that was protecting people. His son will grow up knowing that his father was a hero."

Fin has no words for how this makes her feel. She had a bizarre feeling that Melissa might scream at her, blame her for Bauer's death, but this... This pierces the guilt in her stomach and forces it back, into the darkness from whence it came.

So she just squeezes Melissa's hand once more, and Spencer is there at her elbow immediately, guiding her back toward the car.

Fin gives Lars one last, lingering hug–Morgan was sweet enough to offer to take her to the airport that afternoon–and makes her promise to call as soon as she has any information on their house, before letting Spencer help her into the passenger seat of his car.

"I'm proud of you," Spencer says, starting the engine with a gentle turn of the keys. "You did good today." He pulls out of his parking spot, and once he's on the road, he places his hand on Fin's leg, squeezing gently.

"I wish there was more I could do for her," Fin replies with a sigh. She feels awful, leaving Melissa to fend for herself and her baby.

"You always want to do more." Spencer glances over at her with a soft smile. "But she has family and friends around her, too. All you can do is be there if she ever needs you, and you already promised to do that."

Fin nods slowly, albeit reluctantly. "You know, I hate it when you're right."

Spencer chuckles, shaking his head. "I know. Hey, are you up for a little road trip?"

"Where to?"

"I can't tell you." Spencer purses his lips excitedly. "It's a secret."

"Spencer." Fin rolls her eyes at him. "You're kidding."

"Not kidding!" Spencer turns left, where he should normally turn right if they were going back to his apartment. "I promise you're gonna love it."

The last time Spencer said he wanted to surprise her was also after a funeral, oddly enough, and he ended up taking her on their first real date and buying her coffee and books. It was a perfect evening, perfect to take her mind off of Hotch's loss for a few hours at least. Fin's not quite sure how he'll top that.

Spencer reaches over and tunes the radio, changing it from the low hum of the morning news to her favorite alternative station, which is playing "Karma Police". It's one of Fin's current favorite songs, and she sings along quietly to it, staring out the window. The neighborhoods they're passing are increasingly unfamiliar. Where is Spencer taking them?
Spencer takes an exit left onto I-95, and now they're going south, toward central Virginia. Fin frowns. "Spencer, where–?"

"Don't ask questions just yet." Spencer shakes his head, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Just trust me."

Fin does trust him, more than anyone else in the entire world, but he's beginning to scare her. She really doesn't like surprises, and this secrecy is making her nervous.

After nearly twenty minutes, Spencer exits off of I-95, and out of the corner of Fin's eye, she sees a sign that says "Welcome to Fredericksburg". Fredericksburg? That's half an hour south of Quantico. What could they possibly be doing here?

As they continue along the road, they pass gas stations, small boutique shops, and then the town bit ends and now they're passing houses and untamed forest. The road shrinks to one-lane and winds through the beautiful Virginia countryside. Fin can't wait for fall to really be here, when the leaves turn red and orange, and the weather is perfect for coffee and sweaters.

Spencer turns right onto another, smaller road, lined with trees and colonial style houses, and for some reason, Fin's heart begins to race. Something in the back of her mind is telling her where this is going. But it can't be–

Spencer slows the car, and Fin looks over at him. "Spencer–?"

He just gives her a slow, easy smile, before turning into the driveway of 1214 Westview Drive. Fin is now antsy, anxious to get out of the car, but her damn stomach is bugging her, so she has to wait for Spencer to turn the car off, get out, and open her door for her.

When her head clears the roof of the car, it's like all the air is sucked out of the atmosphere. It is better than she imagined. Better than she could have hoped for.

The driveway of 1214 Westview Drive leads to a beautiful brick house, small but cozy, with a sidewalk lined with flowers and fruit trees, and a large backyard surrounded by tall, curving oak trees. It is overgrown and messy, vines crawling up the chimney, dry and brown leaves everywhere, but it is exactly the type of house Fin has always wanted. She can only imagine what it would look like with a little bit of care and attention: A flourishing garden, a beautiful backyard, maybe some new windows–

And when she turns to Spencer, a question forming on her lips, he's holding a set of keys in his hand and grinning wider than she's ever seen him grin before.

Fin gasps, hands flying to her mouth. "Spencer, you didn't–"

"I did." Spencer laughs, pulling her into his arms gently. "As of yesterday afternoon, this house belongs to me."

"How? I mean–when? What? Why?" Fin struggles to find the words. She's so confused and excited and anxious all at once.

"Well, in answer to your first question, one of Morgan's friends decided to move to California, and he offered me a decent discount," Spencer replies, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "As to when, this has been in the works for a couple weeks. And to answer your last question, I'll tell you when we get inside."

From the moment Fin takes one step inside the door, she's even more in love. The floors are polished wood, the windows let in the perfect amount of light, and everything is open and bright and cheery. Fin can't help but imagine it filled with cozy furniture and the people she loves. It is everything she has ever dreamed about. A house that could truly feel like a home.

"I've been thinking about this for a while," Spencer says, taking Fin's hands and pulling her toward him, keeping her steady. "Especially before what Dr. Kumar said the other day. My apartment wasn't going to be big enough for us forever."

Fin bites her lip hard, forcing the lump in her throat back where it came from. She will not get emotional over this again. Not right now. But deep inside, she's sobbing over the fact that Spencer was thinking about buying a house to make room for a family.

"And I thought about it, even after what he said," Spencer continues seriously, his beautiful dark eyes boring into Fin's. "Like I told him, I'm committed to you forever. For the rest of our lives, no matter what. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in a place that's truly ours. I want to start a family with you, no matter how hard it is. I want to grow old with you, Hazel, in a house full of memories."

"Spencer..." Fin swallows hard, tears pricking at her eyes. "Are–are you asking me to marry you?"

Spencer blinks, suddenly confused, and then his jaw drops. "Well–Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I wasn't planning to, I don't have a ring, but I guess if–"

"Because the answer is yes." Fin smiles tearfully up at him, her heart so full of joy she feels as though it might burst. "It's always been yes. And I don't give a shit about a ring. All I need is you."

Spencer's crying even more than she is, but smiling too, and when he pulls her in for a kiss, it feels more right than anything else in the world. Like nothing can touch them now. Fin is so damn happy. She'd marry Spencer right now, in this empty living room.

"There's definitely some work that needs to get done before we can move in," Spencer says softly, pulling away and resting his forehead against hers. "But Morgan told me he'd build us some new cabinets and help me replace the carpet upstairs."

"I don't care how long it takes," Fin replies, shaking her head. "I just want to be here with you."

"Mm, I love you." Spencer presses a kiss to the tip of her nose, smiling goofily.

"But I need you to promise me something, Spencer."

"Hm?"

Fin gives him a sly smirk. "In six weeks, we better at least have a bed in here."

Spencer blushes furiously, despite the fact that no one else is around, and Fin laughs, dropping her head onto his chest. They sway back and forth, dancing to music that no one else can hear, and Fin can only imagine fifty more years of this. Growing old together, listening to the same music, dancing in the September sunlight, teasing each other, laughing until their sides hurt...

Fin can't imagine anything better to do with the love of her life.

~

i'm not crying, you're crying ;-;

also, for those of you who i'm sure are like, "this feels like a set-up, i'm scared, something bad's gonna happen", two things:

1. you sick bastards. 

2. there are only four more chapters until the end, and i promise no crazy plot twists. esther really is dead, she's not coming back to life, and there WILL be a happy ending <3 so please, no more worrying