𝕿he doorbell rings alerting a half asleep Kate, she pushes off the couch and trudges out into the hallway right up to the door trying to recall if she was expecting someone.

She pulls the door open and her eyes fall on a pair of crystal blue eyes resemebling her own, bloodshot and tired staring back at her under the dull morning light.

Darlene stands there frozen on her porch clad in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, her arms crossed. Her short blonde hair is frayed at the ends, her exhausted gaze quietly fixated on her mother.

"Dar, honey", Kate furrows her brows, "What happened?".

The younger blonde only gazes at her with a blank face.

"Can I come in?", she mutters, exhaling.

Without another word, Kate steps aside allowing her daughter to step in and meander over to the sofa in the living room.

Darlene plops down, settling against the cushions and curling in on herself in an attempt to hide from the world, seek permanent sanctuary in her mother's living room.

"Did something happen with Harry? Mia told me you were supposed to have dinner with him last night".

Darlene rolls her eyes, " 'Course she did".

"Was she not supposed to?", Kate arches a brow, sitting down beside her.

"I don't know anymore", she huffs, shaking her head.

"So . . . . is it? About Harry?".

Darlene purses her lips throwing her mum a short glance.

"I kissed him and then he told me he was leaving for Scotland today", she shrugs, "He asked me to go with him but I said no. And that is when I realised that we both have issues, so I fucked up again".

"Wait a second. He asked you go to Scotland with him a night before he was supposed to leave?".

She bites her lip and nods.

Kate sighs tucking a stray hair strand behind her ear.

"No wonder things didn't end well. How would that even work? Does he just expect you to leave everything and run around the world with him?".

Darlene's eyes widen, the meaning behind her mother's words finally dawning on her.

She turns her head, eyes the size of giant saucers gawking at the older woman seated beside her eyeing her with confusion.

"What?".

"Oh my god, I'm you. I'm turning into you. Every time something goes wrong with us, it isn't me talking. It's you. I'm your younger version", she scowls sitting up straight.

"Now, Darlene. That's not such a bad thing, you know. I've fared pretty well despite all my flaws".

"It took you seventeen years to find someone you could really trust. Someone you'd do anything for, dad fucked up so well. I have Harry right now. And I don't want anyone else, but you see what I'm doing? I'm ruining everything".

Kate looks at her with solemn eyes, her fingers fidgeting with the ends of the silk covers the couch cushions are laden in.

"You're right. But it's not really my fault, is it? You saw everything that happened with me and you took those experiences as lessons for your future self. The world isn't that bad a place when you find the right person, Dar. You need to stop looking at my life as an example".

Darlene's eyes glaze over. She quickly turns away, biting down on her trembling lip.

She sniffs, her heart breaks with every realisation. Her mum's right, it's no one's fault but her own.

She crafted herself into this impenetrable machine incapable of human connection, incapable of love from anyone who loved too freely and that shut her down, completely.

It is fear talking every time she pushes him away. She's scared to let anyone have so much control over her that they become an irreplaceable part of her life.

"Do you want some coffee, my love?", Kate asks softly touching her arm, knowing full well that if she acknowledges her glazed up eyes, she'll pull back again.

Darlene nods watching her mother stand up to her feet and move to walk towards the kitchen.

"Mum".

Kate stops and glances back, waiting for her daughter to follow that up.

"Can I . . . . can I get your therapist's number?".

Her voice is full of hesitation, laced in a tiny hint of embarrassment which is a direct product of pride slowly breaking down.

It's a slow melting glacier but we'll get there.

A small smile spreads on her mother's face.

"Of course, honey".

Darlene inhales deeply, looking up with a faint smile.

"Thank you".

***
PROGRESS !!! MY BABY'S FINALLY ACCEPTING HELP IM SO PROUD OF HER <333
and i'm proud of all of you as well, thank you for waking up today you are deeply valued here i love you so so much 🫂