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kind of third person
you and luke caught back up with the crew after your quick chat outside, but julie was already filled in and apologizing for everything that had happened at bobbies.
hugs were shared and she didn't seem mad that she didn't get the answers she was looking for, about her mom. you were grateful, as you didn't mean to not get them.
you all decided that calling it a night was more than deserved, and you didn't even remember your head hitting the pillow.
your eyes opened, though, as you felt the summer breeze sweep some of your hair over your eyes. your knees bent in your laying position to keep yourself from falling off of julies roof, and your fingers intertwined with lukes.
the sun was beginning to rise through the trees. you somehow knew luke had brought you up on the roof with him, you two had always watched the sunrises together, and his chest lifting and falling underneath yours told you he was awake now too.
your mind automatically thought of the events last night, trying to be happy about the answers you did end up getting. but you were just faking it. you knew that the unanswered questions fully outweighed the answered.
that there was a certain mystery in the still unknown, like what had become of julies mother.
you thought back to the day bobbie had showed up to your house, telling you the boy band had died. you had to head home after the rehearsal, due to your parents strict curfew. you always had regretted not staying, but you would never say. as you and bobbie grieved together, however, you had heard nothing of the woman at the studio. he had never even brought her up in the two years you remained alive.
these questions ached in your chest.
who was she?
"whatcha thinking about?" two fingers brushed across your face as they gathered the strands of hair that had fallen across it. you opened your eyes and luke appeared above your head.
"just last night."
he scooched down to lay next to you, resting his head on your shoulder, "what about it?" he looked at you, a sense of urgency appearing in his eyes, "did you remember something else?"
you shook your head, "no." the look left his eyes, but they still stayed on yours, "just that we didn't get all our questions answered."
he bit his bottom lip, "i think that's ok."
"how?" you sat up, "julie was the only reason we decided to go talk to him, and i never got the chance to even ask-"
"hey." luke said your name, sitting up to interrupt your train of thought, "going there in the first place was a bad idea. for all of us," he still held onto your hand, squeezing it, "it did more harm than good."
luke had thought that you being able to talk to bobbie was a good thing as well, but that was before the gang figured out you could only do it alone. that way, he couldnt figure out what he needed to. he couldn't get the answers to his own questions, and couldn't guarantee that you wouldn't get them first. that you wouldn't find what he was trying to keep from you.
"but if we just go back, maybe we can try again-"
"what?" he gasped, coming out of his daze from being deep in thought, "you seriously want to go back? after everything that happened?" he leaned away from you, "i'm not gonna let that happen to you again."
you felt anger fill your mind, and you took a deep breath. lukes behavior had been getting weirder and weirder, and you couldn't help but think it was because the increasing amount of these types of conversations.
conversations that included bobbies presence.
he has express his worry was more towards you, but you felt as if it was otherwise.
why was he still acting weird?
you sighed, trying to convince yourself that he was right. it was too much. and not worth it. that the questions still left unanswered were small ones. that the second you'd go back, more questions would appear.
you thought back to the time this was all you dreamed of. this was all you had wanted, back in the time where you had lost everything. you would've done anything to be back in lukes arms, to be back with your boys. you hadn't been appreciating it enough, too focused on getting more and more answers to the more and more questions that seemed to pop up in your ghost life. you tried to just trust luke.
and luke was thinking about all you didn't know. that something else, something different, could've happened had you not died. the words echoed in his mind.
staying up for hours, in someone else's arms.
in bobbies arms, the man that had obviously fallen in love with you in the last two years of your life. and he wondered if the feelings were mutually shared back in those years, and you laid with him thinking he was all you had left.
but, you just laid back down, deciding to drop it, and looked up at the few remaining stars and pink-orangey sky with him.
"the sky looks beautiful." you muttered, desperate to get your mind off of things. luke looked down at you, seeming like he didn't want to drop the topic yet. but he just sighed, and laid back down next to you.
"my views better." he said after a few seconds, and you tilted your head, eager to see what could be better about his view that was two inches away from yours. but the boy had been staring at you, and you blushed. you pushed his shoulder slightly, making him giggle.
he pushed you back, but it proved to be too hard as you felt your vans loose grip on the roof. your butt began to slid, and a gasp got caught in the depths of your throat. you went to reach for luke, who's arm was already stretched out, but it was too late.
you were already on the edge of the roof.
as all reality of you being a ghost left your mind, you thought the scary thought. this is how i die. or, more realistically; this is going to hurt.
luke called out just as you fell off the roof and plummeted toward the ground. oddly enough, you heard a thump as your body hit the ground, and felt the loss of air within your lungs, but felt no pain.
it took you a moment to catch your breath. but once you did, you opened your eyes and groaned. lukes top half was hanging off of the roof, his long hair covering his face like a curtain, and one arm stretched out as he had tried to grab you at the last moment. he looked down at you now, and you both shared eye contact.
and you both started to laugh.
you crumpled up on the ground, bringing your knees to your chest, and laughed so hard tears forced to your eyes. luke held a similar expression still on top of the roof.
you both flashed back to your original position, his arm around you, and laughed for what felt like forever.
this is what you had missed.
"i think we both just felt alive again." you said through tears.
"yeah, like i thought you were actually going to die." luke shook his head.
"i thought that was it!"
you both sighed as the humor from the situation settled, but a smile remained on your faces and the sun finally came out of hiding.
a few minutes later, the silence between you two being interrupted by the birds beginning to sing, luke turned to you.
"look, i like how much you care about other people," he whispered, and the look in his eyes told you he had been thinking about these next few words for a while, "and about julie. and i'm not trying to be... controlling," you could see the self conflict within the boys eyes, "but i just want you to care about yourself some more," he leaned his head down, forcing eye contact with yours, "like how i do. i wish you could see yourself through my eyes." you smiled up at him, "just, stop thinking so much about everything going wrong right now. okay?"
you nodded. you understood that he did truly care about you. he always had.
"okay." he mumbled, seeming satisfied, and bringing your body to rest on his. you sighed again, looking up at the sky some more.
but your reassurance didn't settle the feeling inside of him, the feeling of needing to keep you close, otherwise you could find out too much about the boy across town.
and his words didn't stop the aching in your own chest, the feeling of still needing more.
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