𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 "𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬."
~𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭~

𝐋𝐢𝐚

Tell me your dream, both secret and public. Your deepest secret, a longing—something that seems so far from your grasp but sometimes so near you can touch it, smell it, hear it. I have two, or perhaps I should say I have one of each.

My deepest public dream was to be a Hollywood star, famous, a household name, the secret one was to be Luc's. I feel like I've longed for both for as long as I can remember.

****************

The buzzing of my phone wakes me up. At first, I'm too disoriented to remember where I am. My body feels languid, feeble, like im living outside of it. Barely dragging myself out of sleep, my brain is fuzzy, and my vision blurry. I have not been feeling well since last week. I did not want anyone to know so I had to coax Dev into silence.

Still half asleep, I pull my phone from the top of my bedside table, it has stopped ringing because I took time picking it up. With my eyes half opened, I key in the password to check who was calling to find I have ten missed calls, most of those from my family.

Oh God! I mutter, sitting up to call my mom. "What's wrong?" I hear the panic in my tone, pushing my hair from my face.

"What do you mean what's wrong? We saw the trailer of the show. Oh, sweetheart, we are all so proud of you. You look great in the show. And Siena says you're trending on Twitter under hashtags; who is the new girl, pretty redhead, and Blackeyed girl.

I feel my body relax, my heart settles into a normal beating rate, and I exhale loudly, throwing my head back into the pillow with a thud. Then I get up again quickly after registering what my mom has just said.

"I'm trending?"

"Yes. That's what Sienna says, she showed us, and people already have memes and great images of you from the trailer. I can't wait for the first episode."

I can't wait for it either. My heart picked up a speeding tempo as I reached for my iPad to log on to Twitter, my hands are trembling, my stomach is in total chaos as I clicked on trending topics.

Oh God! It's true. I was trending under three hashtags.

"Oh, mama. I'm so happy. I did it! I actually did it. I thought it would take years before I could get such an opportunity..."

"Honey, you are so talented, so hard-working, and while the others might be as talented and hard-working, you wanted to do it your way, on your own terms without your dad's connection, and he does have some in LA.

"Thanks, Mom," I mumble, crying at the overwhelmed feeling of success. This was just one season, I wanted more, I wanted to star in a movie too.

"Lia, are you okay?" my mother asks her tone concerned. I know I can't say I'm fine because I will have to explain why I was still asleep, and not answering any of their calls, so I settle on a lie that she would certainly believe.

"I am. Just crazy painful cramps" Suddenly feeling hungry, yet the thought of food had me feeling nauseated.

This time she is the one that exhale with relief. "Sorry about that darling. Did Dev gets you medication?"

I turn to look at the medication beside my bed remembering how Dev had pulled my body up to shove them down my throat.

"Yes. I'm feeling better now. I haven't been sleeping well, I guess my body was compensating. How is everyone at home?"

"They're alright. Sienna says to call her back if you want to live."

I chuckle. That is the kind of thing she would say.

"Okay, darling. You're sure you're feeling better? I could come by to take care of you."

"I'm okay, Mom. And Luc is coming tomorrow, he is my date at the show launch party next Saturday. Don't worry about me, plus I have Dev."

She sighed, going silent and then added, "I know you're old enough now to take care of yourself, but I hope you'll always tell me when you need me."

My eyes pricked with tears at the love I heard in her voice. I was so loved, so adored I didn't take it for granted. I knew there were people who have never experienced the love of a mother or father. I was privileged to experience both.

"I will always tell you when I need you, mom." I told her, wiping the tears of my cheeks when I remembered she was one of those who never knew the love of a mother.

Her mother left her with an abusive father. But luckily, she has a grandmother who worships the ground she walks on. She was getting old now that Mom is trying to convince her to move and come live with us so Mom can take care of her.

"That's all. Have a great day, honey."  Once I disconnect the call, I get off the bed, slowly so I don't fall from dizziness. I hold onto the edge of the headboard for a second or so, then pick up my medication to put it in the medicine cabinet.

I'm still exhausted from my fever and lying in bed for a long time. Looking at the mirror, my eyes look tired, lifeless. My hair is spread on my shoulder, a few strands caressing my cheeks.

I need a shower, but I feel too weak to stand under the spray of water, so I decide on a bath, but I needed to wash my hair too.

Returning to the bedroom, I wear a robe over my silky PJs before picking up my phone to call Dev.

He came running, his feet thumping on the stairs. "What?" he asked immediately his eyes found me.

"Help me wash my hair." his eyes widened, like huge saucers, surprise flashing on his face.

"I'm too weak to wash it myself," I tell him before he could say anything to refuse.

"Lia..." he starts, and I lift my hand up to stop him. "Just hair. I wouldn't have minded to go another day without washing it, but Dev, it smells." I whisper the last two words. A reluctant smile stretches up his mouth, his eyes gleaming with amusement.

"Fine." he says it as if I'm leading him to the slaughterhouse.

"How do we do this?" He asks.

I pull my makeup chair and head to the bathroom without saying a word with Dev close behind me.

"Here," I pronounce, sitting slightly in front of the toilet sink.

"Please pick up the shampoo and conditioner in the cabinet on the left."

"Why don't we just use shampoo for today? You'll condition it another time. "

"Trust me, it won't take much time."

Dev huffs, grudgingly walking like a petulant child who had been refused a treat.

He comes back carrying shampoo, conditioner and a towel.

"Lean back." I obey, closing my eyes. I flinch from the cold feel of shampoo on my scalp. "What? Did I hurt you?" His tone is filled with worry and a hint of regret.

"No. The shampoo is a bit cold, but it's alright."

"So," I begin, wanting to fill the silence with a little chatter. "Would you happen to know where Max is right now?"

He stops scrubbing my scalp for a minute before returning to the task at hand.

"No. Why."

I shrug, "I thought I should send him a gift." I smile, no I smirked, my eyes still closed as I concocted a little game for Maxwell Vanderbilt.

"Don't close the line." Dev says, and I feel his eyes on my face.

"I know the rules, Dev," I tell him, my voice calm as if I wasn't planning on embarking on a series of scaring the living shit out of my co-star.

"I think it's clean now." I nod, staying still while Dev towels my hair. "The drier is on top left of the cabinet," I say in a small voice anticipating his refusal.

"Oh, come on!" he grunts, but he goes for it anyway.

"So, you want me to find out where he is?" I don't have to ask who, I already know.

"Hmm,"

"I'll let you know by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you."

I feel relaxed now. My body feels lighter and stronger.

"All done," he mumbles, coming to stand in front of me. I lift my face to look at him, my right hand automatically reaching for my hair. It's still a bit damp, but it feels lustrous between my fingers.

"I feel better. Thank you, Dev."

"Want me to fill the tab for you?"

"Please."

"Okay. I made broth and butternut soup for you, whichever you prefer. "

"I don't think I can eat anything. I have no appetite."

"Just a little. That is my price for washing your hair." I glare at him, displeased at the price. He knows I can't refuse because we always pay our debts, and the moment he said it was a price, it meant I owed him."

"That's unfair." he threw me a smug look, picked up the stuff he had picked from the cabinet except for the towel, returned them in place and left.

I feel like throwing up at the thought of food, My stomach churns at the idea of it, even though I feel like my insides are beginning to eat each other because there is nothing to digest.

I get up when I hear the bang of the bathroom door, which tells me Dev has left.

I stand, unsteadily in front of the mirror and I notice my eyes have a little gleam in them. Like life has returned.

**************
𝐌𝐚𝐱
************

A man is an authority figure. His words should be obeyed without question. Women were created to serve men. That is what my father once told me. They are inconsequential except society has changed. It has given them options, which gives them choices. A woman shouldn't have choices.

When I was fifteen, I had sex with one of my schoolmates—Anna. She was small, perky and in the throes of becoming a woman. Her breast had fascinated me, not big like the two women I had been with, but just right. I was curious how they would feel in my hands, and so I approached her one day after school. Later her father had accused me of rape, but it wasn't. She had liked it as much as I did, just as Trixie had, just as Lia will.

My father told me Anna like every other woman had wanted money for her pussy. "They all want the same thing, Maxwell—money. It's a great motivator. Look at your mother, I paid her off to leave you and your siblings with me, and she did.

I hate that I have been waiting for Lia's call for a week. I was beginning to feel like a week man—a man my father couldn't respect.

A Vanderbilt took anything he wanted by force if necessary and damn the consequences. That was my father's motto. You do not build wealth like ours by being a sissy.

I wasn't a sissy. I will not become one because of a redhead whore. She should have called me immediately after I hung up that day, there is nothing women love more than bad boys who treat them like crap. But it seemed like Lia was not one of them, or maybe she was playing hard to get. To see how far I would go to have her.

I will show her just how far.

Who the fuck does she think she is? I shouted into the empty room of my hotel room. I'm going to fuck her the same way I did Trixie Golberg. literally and figuratively—Introduce her to a party life, then sit back, light a match and watch her burn her new career to the ground. I laugh at the idea of watching Lia in her own vomit, so high in cocaine she can barely remember her own name while I unbuttoned one of those white shirts she loves to wear with jeans until I see that soft skin, touch her breast like I have dreamed since the day she walked in for the table read in season one.

How dare she not want me? I'm Maxwell motherfucking Vanderbilt. My ancestors built this fucking country.

Just when I was about to get a beer, someone rang the bell. I was almost at the door when I realized I was barefoot, I couldn't go back so I opened the door to find one of the hotel employees with a package.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr Vanderbilt, this was left in the lobby for you."

I wasn't expecting a package but I took it anyway in case it was from the studio.

"Thank you," I muffled, my attention on the package. I took it, then returned to the room while opening it.

I yelp as I watched a huge live rat jump out of the box to my chest. I screamed, dropping the box to the floor at the same time the rat fell beside it disappearing behind the waste basket. I felt my heart beating so fast like it would jump out of my chest to the floor too.

But the fear doubled when I read the note.

I love a good game, Max. Something tells me I'm going to enjoy this.