In 2030, EJ Bennett found himself in the cozy living room of their Brooklyn home, seated on the couch with his teenage daughter, Shea. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the family photos that adorned the walls. Robin was away on a work trip to Orlando, leaving EJ to hold down the fort.

Shea, immersed in her phone, barely glanced up as EJ began, "Hey, Shea, ever wonder how your mom and I met?"

Shea sighed, clearly uninterested. "Dad, do we have to do this now?"

EJ smiled, knowing how to engage her. "Come on, it won't take long at all."

She rolled her eyes, still not convinced. "Yeah, right."

EJ persisted with a playful grin. "Alright, how about this: I'll start, and if you're not hooked in the first minute, you can go back to your phone."

Shea crossed her arms, smirking. "Okay, deal."

EJ leaned back, getting comfortable. "It all started back in 2005, when your Uncle Marshall got engaged to your Aunt Lily—"

Shea's curiosity finally got the better of her, and she set her phone aside. "Okay, I'm listening."

2005

EJ and Ted walked into their favorite bar, MacLaren's, right after Marshall mock proposed to Ted as practice for his actual proposal to Lily.

Ted sighed. "Marshall already found the love of his life, and I have to get a move on."

EJ rolled his eyes. "Come on, Ted, we're in our late 20s. We shouldn't even be thinking about marriage yet. It's Marshall and Lily—we always knew they were going to get married. They're the only people they've ever slept with. Ever. Wow, I just realized that."

Ted's eyes widened in sudden realization. "Oh God, they might have sex on the kitchen floor."

EJ chuckled. "They definitely will. At least we won't be there to see it. Unlike college."

Yuck.

As they entered the bar, they saw Barney waiting for them, looking displeased.

"Ted," Barney started, "where's your suit!? Just once when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit."

Ted defended himself. "I did that one time."

"It was a blazer!" Barney retorted. He turned to EJ, "And you, you should know better!"

EJ smirked. "Barney, not every occasion requires a suit."

Ignoring him, Ted continued, "You know, ever since college it's been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it's going to be Marshall and Lily... and me. They'll get married, start a family—before long I'm the weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call 'Uncle Ted'."

EJ nodded. "Yeah, that's what happens. Your best friend gets engaged, and you start thinking about that stuff."

Barney jumped in, "I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I'm your best friend."

Ted, exasperated, replied, "You're my best friend, Barney."

EJ interjected with a grin, "Lies. I suggest we play a little game called... 'Have you met Ted?'"

Ted protested, "Wait—no, no, no. We're not playing 'Have You Met Ted?'"

But EJ ignored him, tapping a woman sitting nearby. "Hi, have you met Ted?" he asked, then stepped back to watch from a distance.

Ted, feeling put on the spot, took a deep breath. "Hi, I'm Ted."

The woman smiled. "Yasmine."

"Have fun, kids," EJ called out with a grin.

"That's a very pretty name," Ted said, trying to sound confident.

"Thanks," she replied. "It's Lebanese."

EJ watched with a satisfied smile, hoping this time it might actually lead somewhere.

Ted was one of his best friends since college, but he really needed to lighten up with this "finding the love of your life" crap.

There was plenty of time for that.

——

Yasmine turned out to be dating Carl, which was a bummer for Ted.

"Since when did Carl have a girlfriend?" EJ wondered aloud.

Carl overheard and called out, "You say something, EJ?"

EJ quickly changed the subject. "More shots, Carl!"

Carl grinned. "You got it, boss!"

Ted, looking visibly agitated, muttered, "Why am I freaking out all of a sudden? This is crazy! I'm not ready to settle down."

EJ nodded. "That's the first reasonable idea you've had all night."

Barney, ignoring their conversation, mused, "How does Carl land a Lebanese girl?"

Ted continued his rant. "It's always been 'don't even think about it till you're thirty'."

Barney interjected, "Exactly—the guy doesn't even own a suit!"

Ted sighed. "Plus, Marshall's found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I'm not, but if I was, it's like, 'Okay, I'm ready! Where is she?'" He looked up and noticed a brunette woman at the end of the bar.

2030

EJ smiled knowingly. "And there she was."

Shea interrupted his thoughts. "Great, you met Mom at a bar. Can I go now?"

EJ shook his head. "We haven't even gotten started yet. There's more to these kinds of things."

Shea rolled her eyes but stayed put. "Fine, Dad. But this better be good."

EJ chuckled. "Patience, kiddo. So, after we saw your mom..."

Shea leaned back, arms crossed. "Okay, but make it quick. I have a life, you know."

EJ smiled knowingly. "Trust me, this part is worth it. Your mom was right there, and Ted was all over the place, but I could sense something big was about to go down..."

Shea crossed her arms, leaning in. "Uncle Ted was moving in on Mom, wasn't he?"

EJ sighed, chuckling softly. "Alright, alright. That is part of the story, yes."

Shea grinned triumphantly. "I knew it!"

2005

Ted nudged EJ and whispered, "Hey guys, see that girl?"

EJ glanced over. "No way, you mean the one you've been creepily staring at for 10 seconds?"

Ted chuckled nervously. "I can't believe you were counting."

EJ smirked. "Hard not to. Time to play—"

Before EJ could finish, Barney, always quick on the uptake, approached Robin and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey, have you met Ted?" Barney asked with a grin.

Robin arched an eyebrow. "Let me guess," she pointed, "Ted?"

Ted nodded eagerly, a sheepish smile on his face.

EJ, seeing the exchange unfold, smirked and nodded towards them. "Have fun, children!"

——

After smoothly getting Jenna's number, EJ leaned back with a satisfied grin, already planning their outing the next night.

"So, Jenna," he began charmingly, "how about dinner tomorrow night? I know this great little Italian place downtown."

Jenna smiled and nodded. "Sounds perfect. I'll see you there."

As EJ rejoined Ted and the others, Ted returned with a bemused expression after his brief encounter with Robin.

Robin halted abruptly. "Yeah," she agreed, passing her number to Ted before playfully tossing her drink in his face. "JERK!" She walked off, whispering under her breath, "that was fun."

Barney chuckled as he returned, teasing Ted, "De-wait for it-nied! Denied!"

Ted wiped the drink from his face and informed them, "We're going out tomorrow night."

Barney, puzzled, responded, "I thought we were playing laser tag tomorrow night?"

Ted wiped off the alcohol and answered, "Yeah, I was never going to play laser tag."

He then shared Robin's thoughts with EJ. "Oh yeah, she thought you were being a little immature."

EJ smirked, glancing at Robin with her friends. "Oh she was?" He caught Robin's eye, and she gave him a mocking look.

Barney, still focused on laser tag, turned to EJ. "Laser tag tomorrow?"

EJ shook his head apologetically. "Sorry, Barney, I've got a date tomorrow night too."

Ted enthusiastically high-fived EJ. "Nice!"

Barney groaned in frustration. "Dang it!"

EJ, always quick with a suggestion, offered, "If you really want someone to go with you, what about Ben?"

Ted looked puzzled. "College roommate Ben?"

EJ grinned mischievously. "Yeah, he probably needs to let loose a little. Plus, he's got that killer aim."

Barney, still fixated on the idea, suggested, "Maybe your hot sister?"

EJ quipped back smoothly, "Nah, I promised my sister I wouldn't set her up with any guys crazier than she is."

Barney persisted, undeterred.

——

EJ and Jenna had a delightful night out, filled with laughter and engaging conversation. They ended the evening at EJ's apartment, where the night took a romantic turn.

If you know what I mean.

The next morning, EJ woke up early and decided to grab some coffee. As he walked into the kitchen, he found his best friend and roommate, Ben, frantically searching for his keys.

"Morning," EJ greeted, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "What's the rush?"

Ben, looking frazzled, replied, "I'm running late for an audition. Have you seen my keys?"

EJ took a sip of his coffee and smirked. "Did you check under the pile of laundry you call a closet?"

Ben ignored the comment and continued his search. "You'd think I'd be better organized by now."

EJ leaned against the counter. "So, I heard you played laser tag with Barney last night. You actually went?"

Ben found his keys under a stack of books and chuckled. "Yeah, I did. Barney showed up in full combat gear. You'd think he was going to war."

EJ laughed. "Sounds about right. Did he take it seriously?"

Ben nodded, mimicking Barney's intense demeanor. "You have no idea. He was barking orders like a drill sergeant. 'Cover me!' 'Flank left!' It was ridiculous."

EJ shook his head, grinning. "Let me guess, he made you his lieutenant?"

Ben shrugged. "What can I say? The guy's committed. And you missed that ridiculous dance he does when he wins. It was something else."

EJ raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me you got it on video."

Ben grinned. "Of course I did. It's already in the group chat."

EJ laughed, shaking his head. "You know, as much as I give Barney a hard time, I have to admit he makes things interesting."

Ben grabbed his bag, finally ready to leave. "Yeah, well, speaking of interesting, how was your date with Jenna?"

EJ smirked. "Let's just say it was a night to remember."

Ben gave a knowing nod. "Nice. Just don't get too distracted. Remember, we've got that meeting with the landlord later."

EJ rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. Good luck with your audition."

Ben flashed a thumbs-up as he headed out the door. "Thanks! Don't forget to tell Barney he's not getting a rematch anytime soon."

EJ chuckled, taking another sip of his coffee. "I'll make sure he knows."

As Ben left, EJ enjoyed the quiet morning, thinking about the night before and the amusing encounter with his roommate. Life in their apartment was never dull, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

—-

Lily and Marshall sat comfortably on the couch. Lily, donning an eye patch over her left eye, remained blissfully unaware that Marshall was sitting right beside her.

"Lily?" Marshall leaned in, his voice gentle.

Lily jolted, startled. "How long have you been sitting there!? Stupid eye patch."

Just then, EJ entered the apartment, radiating enthusiasm. "There's my favorite fiancés! Congrats, guys!"

Lily and Marshall greeted him at the door with hugs and wide smiles.

Marshall couldn't help but ask, "So, how did it go with that girl last night? Did you two—"

Lily cut in, smirking. "Marshall! But seriously, did you—"

EJ grinned mischievously. "A man never kisses and tells, Ms. Aldrin, but yes, we did."

They all laughed, settling into a light-hearted conversation.

"So, EJ," Lily smirked, "how's the serial dating life treating you?"

EJ shrugged casually. "Well, let's just say I'm still on the hunt for someone who can handle my charm."

Marshall chuckled. "Good luck with that. You're a handful."

EJ laughed heartily. "Takes one to know one, buddy."

At that moment, Ted burst into the apartment, brimming with excitement. "Mom, dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby! Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman?"

Marshall thought for a moment. "Oh, let's see... she likes dogs?"

A flashback played in Ted's mind.

Robin: "I've got five dogs."

The memory faded, and Marshall continued, "...she drinks scotch?"

Robin: "I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch."

EJ chimed in with a grin. "Can quote obscure and important lines from 'Ghostbusters'?"

Yet another flashback.

Robin: "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say, 'Yes!'"

Ted beamed, "And I'm saving the best for last."

Marshall grinned broadly. "She hates olives! Awesome!"

Lily exclaimed, "The olive theory!"

EJ, standing with his friends, started to think that maybe Robin was his dream woman, despite not being big on finding "the one" just yet.

Marshall, ever the joker, exclaimed, "Oh, it is on! It is on—" he mimicked a robot, "—till the break of dawn."

EJ corrected him with a smirk, "No, it's on like Donkey Kong."

Marshall looked puzzled. "I thought it was 'break of dawn'? Is it not 'break of dawn'?"

EJ sighed, rolling his eyes. "It's 'on like Donkey—' whatever. The point is, Ted, you've found your dream woman. Maybe. You did kiss her, right?"

Ted hesitated, admitting, "No. The moment wasn't right." Everyone sighed. "Look, this woman could be my future wife; I want our first kiss to be amazing."

Lily cooed, "Aww, Ted, that's so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch."

Ted was taken aback. "What? I did not chicken out! You know what? I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate who hasn't been single since the first week of college."

EJ muttered under his breath, "Ted's a little bitch."

Lily pressed on. "Ted, anyone who's single would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive, and if you don't believe me... call him."

Ted looked bewildered. "Who do you mean?"

—-

The group sat around a table at MacLaren's, the familiar hum of the bar surrounding them.

Ted sighed. "So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think?"

Barney, ever focused on appearance, shook his head. "I can't believe you're still not wearing a SUIT!"

Ted rolled his eyes. "She didn't even give me the signal."

EJ leaned in, earnest. "Ted, don't think. Just do. You should have kissed her, man."

Ted protested, "Not if you don't get the signal."

Without missing a beat, Barney leaned over and kissed Marshall on the lips. "Did Marshall give me the signal?"

Marshall, flustered, pulled back. "No! I didn't, I swear," he said, turning to Lily.

Barney smirked. "But see, at least tonight, I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me... never going to happen. You should've kissed her."

Ted groaned. "Urgh, I should've kissed her. What about when she gets back from Orlando?"

EJ, practical as always, interjected. "Isn't she gone for a week? Unless you plan on flying to Orlando, you might have to forget about her."

At that moment, they all noticed Robin on the TV at Metro News 1.

Ted's eyes lit up. "There she is..."

Lily, always supportive, exclaimed, "Ooo, she's cute!" She turned to the bartender. "Hey Carl, turn it up!"

Robin's voice filled the bar. "...persuaded him to reconsider at which point the man came down off the ledge, giving this bizarre story a happy ending. Reporting from Metro One News, back to you, Bill."

Marshall, always the joker, commented, "Huh, guy didn't jump."

Robin's sign-off played in Ted's head. "I'm gonna go kiss her. Right now."

Marshall looked at Ted, concerned. "Dude, it's midnight. As your future lawyer, I'm gonna advise you: that's freakin' crazy!"

EJ grinned. "As your real estate agent, I say do it, get married, and call me to help you buy a house." Lily promptly hit him on the shoulder. "Lily..."

Ted stood firm. "I never do anything crazy! I'm always waiting for the moment! Planning the moment! Well, she's leaving tomorrow; this may be the only moment I'm gonna get! I gotta do what that guy couldn't, I gotta take the leap! Okay, not a perfect metaphor. For me, it's fall in love and get married. For him, it's... death."

Barney raised his glass. "Actually, that is a perfect metaphor. By the way, did I congratulate you two?" He nodded to Lily and Marshall.

Ted's resolve solidified. "I'm doing this." He started to leave.

Lily jumped up. "Let's go," she said, pulling Marshall up.

Marshall echoed, "Word up!"

EJ stood. "Count me in."

Lily added, "We're coming with you."

Ted turned to Barney. "...Barney?"

Barney considered for a moment. "Alright, but under one condition."

——

Barney, ecstatic, looked over at Ted. "Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up! This is totally going in my blog!"

Ted leaned forward to the driver. "Stop the car. Uh, pull over right here. I gotta do something."

He darted out of the cab, running into a nearby restaurant and grabbing the Blue French Horn off the wall. "Excuse me, pardon me," he said, grabbing the horn. "Enjoy your coffee." With the horn in hand, he ran back out.

The waiter yelled after him. "Hey, HEY!"

Ted jumped back into the cab, breathless. "Go, go, GO!" He looked at his friends, shrugged, and smiled. "Everybody brings flowers."

Ted took a deep breath. "Okay. Moment of truth. Wish me luck."

Barney couldn't contain his excitement. "Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter. This just in," he said, holding up his hand for high-fives.

Lily leaned forward, urging Ted on. "Kiss her, Ted. Kiss her good."

Marshall joined in. "Kiss the crap out of that girl."

EJ added, "Kiss her so hard, like you've never kissed anyone before."

Ted smiled at his friends' encouragement. "Marshall, remember this night. When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you're gonna tell this story." With that, he exited the cab.

Barney shouted after him, "Why does he get to be the best man? I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

EJ patted Barney on the shoulder. "Just let it go, man. Let it go."

Ted walked up to Robin's building and pressed the buzzer. The sound of dogs barking filled the air, making Ted hesitate. He walked back toward the cab, muttering to himself, "Not good, not good, not good."

EJ called out, "What are you doing?"

Lily's voice was filled with urgency. "No! Go back in there!"

Marshall added, "You're wearing a suit!"

EJ repeated his earlier advice. "Don't think, just do it!"

Ted turned back toward the door, and Robin's voice called out from the window. "Ted?"

Ted looked up, holding the Blue French Horn. "Hi! I was just uh..." He trailed off, raising the horn for her to see.

Robin smiled. "Come on up."

EJ cheered, "Let's go, Ted!"

Ted disappeared into the building, and the group in the cab watched eagerly.

Marshall smiled. "He's in."

Barney, ever the opportunist, turned to the cabdriver. "So, Ranjit... you must've done it with a Lebanese girl."

Lily, reaching her limit with Barney's antics, opened the door. "Okay, that's my Barney limit. I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom." She stepped out of the cab.

EJ followed her. "I'll come with. I need a pack of gum."

Back in the cab, Ranjit responded to Barney. "Actually, I'm from Bangladesh."

Barney raised an eyebrow. "The women hot there?"

Ranjit pulled out a picture. "Here's a picture of my wife."

Barney took a glance and whispered to Marshall, "A simple 'no' would have sufficed." Then, louder, he added, "She's lovely."

—

Ted looked upset and tired as he thanked Robin and began to walk away. "You know what?" He turned back towards her as she stopped walking. "I'm done being single. I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met you love her. But... it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman—not you... just some hypothetical woman—were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn good husband. Because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father... and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser."

Robin responded, "Everyone thinks they're a good kisser."

"Oh, I've got references," Ted replied confidently.

"Good night, Ted," Robin said, shaking his hand.

"And I'm a good hand shaker," Ted quipped.

"That's a pretty great handshake," Robin acknowledged, meeting his eyes briefly before turning to go back inside.

As Ted walked away, EJ approached eagerly. "Hey! Did you kiss her?"

Robin glanced at EJ with amusement. "Are your friends always like this?"

Ted sighed, "That one is."

"Hi, News Lady! Nice to see you again!" EJ greeted cheerfully, earning an eye-roll from Robin before she disappeared inside.

Later, at the bar, Ted recounted the encounter. "And that was it, probably never see her again." He looked around at his friends for their reactions.

Marshall exclaimed, "That was the signal!"

Lily agreed, "That long lingering handshake—you should've kissed her!"

Barney chimed in, "There's no such thing as the signal. But yeah, that was the signal."

EJ teased, "That was your one chance, and you blew it. I thought I taught you better."

Ranjit suddenly appeared, nodding knowingly. "Signal."

Carl, overhearing, added, "By the way, you should've kissed her."

EJ nodded emphatically. "Right?"

Ted was incredulous. "Carl!? You guys weren't there."

EJ tried to steer the conversation. "How about we don't focus on the woman who broke our friend's heart, and we focus on our newly engaged friends," he gestured towards Lily and Marshall.

Marshall popped a cork without incident, prompting Lily to joke, "I am so turned on right now."

Ted interjected, "Guys, trust me. I've seen the signal. That was not the signal."

Marshall raised his glass in a toast. "To my fiancé!"

Lily smiled and added, "To the future!"

EJ joined in, raising his glass. "To Lily and Marshall! May you continue to only sleep with each other," he quipped, eliciting laughter from the group.

Ranjit, joining the toast, concluded, "To one hell of a night!"

Ted muttered under his breath, "That was not the signal."

EJ chuckled, "Keep telling yourself that!"