🍋 Lemon Warning Children 🍋

Robin and EJ had been unable to keep their hands off each other since the wedding. For the past week, they had been meeting almost every night, their encounters filled with hot, passionate kissing and intense, fervent sex.

Tonight was no different.

EJ walked into Robin's apartment, and before the door even closed, she was on him, their lips crashing together in a heated kiss. He responded eagerly, his hands sliding under her shirt, feeling the warmth of her skin.

"God, I can't get enough of you," Robin murmured against his lips, her hands working to unbutton his shirt.

EJ groaned, pulling her shirt over her head. "I was thinking about you all day," he said, his voice thick with desire. "Could barely focus on anything else."

Their tongues danced together, each trying to dominate the other. Robin's nails raked down his chest, leaving red marks in their wake. EJ's hands moved to her back, pulling her closer as their bodies pressed together.

Robin pushed him back onto the couch, straddling him as she kissed him deeply. Her hands roamed over his chest, and she could feel his arousal growing beneath her. She ground her hips against him, eliciting a deep moan from his lips.

Robin broke the kiss, sitting up slightly. "You like that, don't you?" she asked, her voice husky with desire.

"Yeah, I do," EJ replied, his eyes dark with lust. "But I think you like it even more."

Robin smirked, rolling her hips in a way that made EJ groan. "Maybe I do," she admitted, her voice breathless. "But let's see if you can keep up."

They barely made it to the bedroom, their clothes scattered in a trail behind them. Once they were on the bed, Robin climbed on top of him, guiding him inside her with a satisfied moan.

"Fuck, yes," she breathed, her hands bracing against his chest for support.

EJ's hands gripped her hips, helping to guide her movements. "Fuck, Robin, you're amazing," he groaned, his eyes locked on hers. "Just like that, don't stop."

"Don't think you're the only one enjoying this," Robin shot back, her movements becoming more urgent. "You drive me crazy, Bennett."

EJ's hands roamed up her body, cupping her breasts as he thrust up to meet her rhythm. "You're not so bad yourself, Scherbatsky," he growled, his voice filled with lust.

Robin's nails dug into his chest, leaving more red marks on his skin as she rode him harder. "You like it when I take control, don't you?" she teased, her breath coming in short gasps.

EJ's response was a deep, guttural moan. "Hell yes," he admitted, his eyes dark with desire. "But don't think I'm gonna let you have all the fun."

With a sudden move, EJ flipped them over, pinning her beneath him as he took control. Robin's legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper as they moved together with an urgent, frantic rhythm.

"Oh God, EJ," Robin cried out, her head thrown back in ecstasy. "Don't stop."

EJ increased the pace, his movements becoming more urgent. "Oh, yes," Robin moaned, her nails digging into his back. "Harder."

EJ thrust up to meet her, their bodies moving together in perfect sync. "You like that, don't you?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

"Yes, EJ, don't stop," Robin pleaded, her head falling back as he thrusted faster. "Don't you dare stop,"

Robin's body arched against his, her nails leaving trails of fire down his back. "Yes, yes," she moaned, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak. "I'm so close."

"Me too, Robin," EJ groaned, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic.

With a final, powerful thrust, they both reached their climax, their cries of pleasure filling the room. They collapsed onto the bed, panting and spent, their bodies still tangled together.

They lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow, before Robin rolled into him, a satisfied smile on her face. "That was incredible," she murmured, her voice soft.

EJ kissed her shoulder, his hand resting on her waist. "It always is," he replied, his voice tender.

🍋 Lemon Over 🍋

——

The next morning, they emerged from the bedroom, a familiar routine now. They had been trying to talk about what this meant for them, but every attempt ended with them throwing themselves at each other again.

"We need to talk," Robin said, her tone serious but soft.

"Yeah, we do," EJ agreed, running a hand through his hair. "This...whatever it is, it's getting intense."

Robin nodded. "We need to set some ground rules. I don't want things to get complicated."

EJ leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at her thoughtfully. "So, friends with benefits?"

"Exactly," Robin confirmed. "But we need to be clear about a few things."

"Alright," EJ said, gesturing for her to continue.

"First rule, no catching feelings," Robin stated firmly. "This stays casual."

"Agreed," EJ nodded. "What else?"

"We keep it lowkey," Robin added. "No telling our friends. They don't need to know."

"Definitely," EJ said. "Anything else?"

"We're just friends who...have sex," Robin concluded, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"Sounds simple enough," EJ replied, moving closer to her. "So, do we shake on it, or...?"

Robin grinned, leaning in to kiss him. "I think we can seal the deal another way," she teased.

EJ laughed, pulling her close. "I like the way you think."

——

In Marshall and Lily's apartment, the atmosphere was filled with teasing and banter as EJ arrived with a spare key, greeted warmly by his friends who were clearly in a playful mood. Marshall and Lily couldn't help but speculate about what Ted and his new girlfriend, Victoria, had been up to behind closed doors.

"They have to come out soon, it's Monday," Marshall remarked with a grin, nudging EJ knowingly.

Lily joined in, adding, "Do you think they've been in there the whole time? I don't know whether to be proud or concerned."

EJ chuckled nervously, trying to deflect their attention. "Yeah, well, you know how it is. Busy with work and stuff. And Robin's probably just as busy."

Marshall raised an eyebrow knowingly. "Busy, huh? Like, busy busy?" he teased, his smirk widening.

EJ shot him a look that clearly said, "If you tell anyone, you're dead," but Marshall just grinned back mischievously.

Meanwhile, the door to Ted's room opened, and Marshall and Lily playfully scampered away from it. Victoria emerged with a friendly smile, introducing herself to EJ.

"Good morning," Victoria greeted cheerfully.

"Hello, Ted, and friend," EJ responded, nodding politely at Victoria.

"I'm Victoria," she continued, extending her hand.

"Ahhhhh, I've heard so much about you," EJ quipped with a playful smirk. "All good things. Actually, the bad stuff is pretty cool too."

Victoria raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "I'm just going to ignore that," she replied with a grin.

"Thank you!" Marshall chimed in, earning a laugh from Lily.

As Ted and Victoria exchanged affectionate goodbyes, Marshall couldn't resist poking fun. "Two days straight? Wow, your room must smell like a monkey cage!"

EJ joined in, egging them on. "Come on, give us a number. Lily guessed eight, but I know my boy got to double digits."

Ted surprised them all with his response. "Zero."

"What?" Marshall and Lily exclaimed simultaneously, while EJ looked genuinely surprised.

Ted explained with a grin, "Guys, we just met. And we both screwed up relationships in the past by jumping in too quick, so we talked about it, and we decided to take this one slow."

"Her idea?" EJ asked quickly, nodding towards Victoria.

"Totally her idea! But, I don't know, I'm really into this girl, and if going slow is what it takes to make this happen, I say bring it on," Ted concluded, looking genuinely happy.

"I say you'll crack in two weeks," EJ teased good-naturedly.

——

3 Weeks Later

Ted, EJ, Barney, Lily, and Marshall were at the bar, Ted clearly was about to crack.

I don't feel so good. It's like my testicles mixed pop rocks and soda," Ted lamented, clearly feeling the effects of his restraint.

"I can't believe she's making you wait a whole month. I would never put up with that," Marshall commented sympathetically.

"You've only had sex with one girl in your whole life," Lily teased, prompting laughter from Barney.

"Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years, 11 months old," Barney joked, earning groans and laughs from the group.

Then, Robin walked in.

"Good news, I don't have to cover the cat show tomorrow night. Who's up for hanging out?" Robin announced with a grin, her eyes flickering towards EJ.

EJ chuckled, teasing her about her assignments. "They always stick you with the most thrilling stories, huh?"

Ted chimed in, declining her invitation politely. "Oh, I can't, I'm taking Victoria out for dinner."

Lily interjected, her tone affectionate yet slightly teasing. "No, no, we can't, it's our nine-year anniversary."

Robin grinned, offering congratulations in her usual witty manner. "Wow, nine years? Your relationship's a fourth grader. Congrats."

Marshall jumped in enthusiastically, sharing their plans. "Thanks! We're going to the Berkshires for the maple syrup harvest. It's one of New York Magazine's 'Top five romantic getaways on a budget.'"

Robin, always quick with a comeback, quipped, "Well, looks like it's going to be just you and me."

Barney, intrigued by the dynamic between Robin and EJ, couldn't resist probing further. "Really?"

Robin shot back playfully, "Actually, I was talking to my martini."

EJ, sensing the need to excuse himself, casually mentioned he had plans for the evening. "Yeah, I'll see you guys later, I got something to do tonight."

Robin, curious about his sudden departure, inquired, "What are you up to?"

EJ flashed a reassuring smile. "Oh, nothing. I'll catch up with you later."

With that, EJ walked out, leaving Robin and Barney alone at the booth. Barney watched EJ leave, his suspicion evident, while Robin sipped her drink, trying to ignore the lingering warmth from her earlier interaction with EJ.

——

EJ walked briskly down the bustling streets of Manhattan, the early afternoon sun casting long shadows between the towering skyscrapers. He had just finished closing on three apartments that morning, each transaction bringing a sense of satisfaction mixed with the adrenaline rush typical of New York City real estate deals.

As he entered the lobby of the sleek, modern building where his last closing of the day was scheduled, EJ greeted the doorman with a nod. The penthouse on the top floor was the jewel in the crown of this property, boasting panoramic views of the city skyline that would make any buyer swoon.

Inside the penthouse, EJ was greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Chang, a young couple expecting their first child. They were beaming with excitement as they signed the final documents.

"We can't thank you enough, EJ," Mrs. Chang said with a smile. "This is truly our dream home."

EJ grinned. "I'm thrilled for you both. You've made an excellent choice. The view alone is worth it."

Mr. Chang nodded enthusiastically. "We're already planning where to put the crib."

After ensuring everything was in order and answering their last-minute questions, EJ left the Changs to celebrate their new home. As he stepped out onto the penthouse terrace to take in the breathtaking cityscape, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Ben: Hey man, bored out of my mind. Any plans for tonight?

EJ chuckled and tapped out a quick reply.

EJ: Just finished up here. Meet me at the usual spot in 30? I'll buy you a drink.

With the penthouse deal successfully closed, EJ made his way down to the street level, feeling a surge of accomplishment. He hailed a taxi and headed towards their second favorite neighborhood bar, a cozy spot with dim lighting and a laid-back atmosphere.

At the Bar

Ben was already waiting when EJ arrived, nursing a beer and looking slightly restless.

"Hey buddy," EJ greeted him, sliding onto the barstool next to him. "Long day?"

Ben nodded, taking a sip of his beer. "Yeah, you could say that. So, how were the closings?"

EJ ordered a drink for himself and leaned back against the bar. "Good, actually. Sold three apartments this morning, including a penthouse with killer views."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "Nice, man. You're on fire."

They clinked their glasses together in a silent toast.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Ben asked, looking around the bar for inspiration.

EJ shrugged. "I'm up for anything. Maybe hit a few more bars, catch a game, or we could grab dinner somewhere."

Ben grinned mischievously. "What about karaoke? You know I've been practicing my rendition of 'Livin' on a Prayer.'"

EJ laughed. "Oh God, not again. But hey, if that's what you're feeling tonight, I'm game."

——

The karaoke bar buzzed with energy as EJ and Ben took turns singing their favorite hits, much to the amusement of the other patrons. EJ had just finished a surprisingly decent rendition of "Sweet Caroline," earning cheers from the crowd.

Ben nudged EJ with a grin. "See? I told you I wasn't the only one who appreciates your singing talents."

EJ laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah, you're just trying to butter me up for another round of 'Livin' on a Prayer.'"

Ben shrugged playfully. "Can you blame me? It's a classic!"

As they debated their next song choice, Ted walked into the bar, spotting them near the stage area. He made his way over with a smile.

"Hey guys!" Ted greeted them enthusiastically. "What's the occasion?"

EJ gestured to the karaoke stage. "Just blowing off some steam after closing a few deals today. What about you?"

Ted ordered a drink and settled onto a barstool. "Same here, trying to unwind."

After a few more rounds of karaoke, including a memorable duet of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by EJ and Ted, they found a quiet corner to catch their breath.

"So, EJ," Ted began, sipping his drink, "how's the real estate world treating you? Any big deals lately?"

EJ nodded, leaning back against the wall. "Yeah, closed on a penthouse today. It's been a good week."

Ben chimed in, teasingly. "EJ's basically the Wolf of Wall Street of real estate now."

Ben raised his glass. "Here's to the next big thing then!"

They clinked their glasses together, the camaraderie palpable.

EJ glanced around the bar, noticing a group of women at a nearby table. "Hey Ted, how's things with Victoria?"

Ted paused for a moment, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "Good, actually. We've been seeing each other more regularly. She's... she's great."

Ted then scratched his chin. "Well, actually, I was thinking... maybe we could all do something together soon. Like a triple date."

Ben perked up immediately. "Oh yeah, that sounds like a plan! We can do dinner, drinks, maybe even catch a show."

EJ's expression shifted slightly, but he masked it with a casual sip of his drink. "Yeah, sounds fun."

Ben, not noticing EJ's hesitation, continued enthusiastically. "We'll make it a triple date: you and Victoria, me and Lauren, and EJ with... whoever he's shacking up with this week."

Ted and Ben chuckled, but EJ felt a twinge of discomfort. He hadn't told his friends about his ongoing arrangement with Robin, and now he found himself in an awkward spot.

"Yeah, uh, about that," EJ started cautiously, "I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Come on, EJ, you're always seeing someone. It's like a revolving door."

Ted, trying to be supportive, added, "It's okay if you're keeping things casual. No judgment here."

EJ nodded, grateful for their understanding but also feeling guilty about keeping Robin a secret. "Yeah, just taking some time for myself right now."

——

After Ted left to meet Victoria, Ben leaned in closer to EJ, his curiosity evident in his expression. "Seriously, EJ, you're not seeing anyone? That's not like you. You usually have someone new every week."

EJ hesitated, swirling his drink in his hand before responding carefully, "Yeah, I know it seems that way, but I've actually been taking a break from dating lately. Just focusing on work and myself, you know?"

Ben squinted at him skeptically, his brow furrowing. "Hmm, okay. If you say so. But if you're holding out on us, you know you can tell me, right?"

EJ nodded, relieved that Ben seemed to buy his explanation. "Yeah, I appreciate that, Ben. Thanks."

Ben shrugged, his playful grin returning. "Alright then, let's not dwell on that. Let's focus on having a great night! What's next on the agenda?"

They moved on to another lively bar, where the music was louder and the atmosphere more energetic. Ben struck up a conversation with a group of people at the bar, while EJ found himself drawn into a game of darts with a few strangers.

——

As EJ stepped up to the dartboard, he eyed the group of guys already engaged in a friendly competition. One of them, a tall guy with a beard, turned to him with a smirk. "You here to challenge the reigning champ?"

EJ chuckled, picking up a dart confidently. "Something like that. Let's see if you're as good as you think."

The guy shrugged, handing EJ a set of darts. "Alright, mate, show us what you've got."

EJ lined up his shot, focusing on the bullseye as he released the dart with a smooth flick of his wrist. It hit just outside the bullseye, earning him a few nods of approval from the other players.

"Not bad," the bearded guy admitted, taking his turn and hitting the triple 20. "But can you handle this?"

EJ grinned, feeling the competitive spirit rising within him. "Challenge accepted."

They traded shots, each one trying to outdo the other with precision and skill. The banter flowed freely as they teased each other's shots and celebrated their own successes.

"Alright, last round," the bearded guy declared, stepping up for his final throw.

EJ focused intensely, blocking out the noise of the bar and honing in on the dartboard. With a steady breath, he aimed and released, the dart landing solidly in the bullseye.

The group erupted into cheers and applause, patting EJ on the back and exchanging high-fives. The bearded guy grinned, conceding defeat graciously. "Well played, mate. You've got some serious skills."

EJ shrugged modestly, handing back the darts with a grin. "Thanks. Just a lucky shot."

——

After their darts game, EJ and Ben continued their night out, hopping from bar to bar in the bustling streets of Manhattan. The air was crisp, the city lights dazzling against the night sky, and the energy of the Friday evening permeated through the crowded sidewalks.

As they walked along, EJ couldn't help but glance at his phone from time to time, subtly checking for any messages from Robin. Each time, he found himself hoping to see her name pop up, a habit he had developed over the past weeks since their New Year's Eve encounter.

Ben noticed EJ's slight distraction and nudged him playfully. "Expecting someone?"

EJ smirked, trying to play it cool. "Nah, just keeping up with things."

They found themselves at a cozy bar with dim lighting and a lively atmosphere. Ordering their drinks, they found a corner booth and settled in.

"So, spill it, EJ," Ben leaned in, his eyes twinkling with curiosity. "You're seeing someone, aren't you? You've been looking at your phone like a lovesick puppy all night."

EJ chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. "Kind of, yeah. It's... complicated."

Ben raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Complicated how?"

EJ hesitated for a moment, debating how much to reveal. "Well, since New Year's Eve, I've been... hooking up with someone. Robin."

Ben's expression shifted slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. He remembered his own history with Robin, a one-night stand that they had agreed to keep between them. He had almost forgotten that pact until now.

"Oh," Ben replied casually, masking any hint of discomfort. "Robin, huh? That's... unexpected."

"Yeah," EJ nodded, sensing Ben's hesitation. "We're keeping it low-key, just having fun."

Ben nodded, deciding not to delve deeper into his own past with Robin. "Good for you, man. If it works, it works."

As the night wound down, they exchanged goodbyes on the street corner. Ben grinned mischievously. "See you back at the apartment later. I'm going to Lauren's."

EJ raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh yeah, when do I get to meet her?"

Ben shrugged casually. "Oh, we met on set. She's an actress. You'll like her."

"Yeah, definitely," EJ agreed, clapping Ben on the shoulder. "Have fun with Lauren."

Ben chuckled. "Thanks, man. And good luck with... you know, your thing."

EJ nodded, watching as Ben hailed a cab and disappeared into the night. He pulled out his phone again, sending a quick text to Robin before heading towards his apartment.

——

"You know, Barney, I had a surprisingly good time bro-ing out tonight," Robin remarked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Barney grinned, flashing his trademark smirk. "Well, you make a good bro. You're a better Ted than Ted. Hey, in fact, you have just earned yourself an invite to Marshall's bachelor party. And you don't even have to come out of the cake."

"Thanks," Robin replied, a genuine smile crossing her face. "And, um, thanks for sticking around tonight. I hope you're ready for some hard-core Battleship. Come on, boys."

"Hard-core? That's the only way I play," Barney quipped as he started to strip down.

"I found it. Are you ready to... What the hell are you doing?" Robin exclaimed in surprise, catching Barney in the act.

"I'm birthday suiting up. I'm sorry, did you want to undress me?" Barney retorted playfully.

"No! I thought we were just hanging out as friends," Robin clarified, trying to suppress a laugh at Barney's antics.

"Oh, come on, you have been throwing yourself at me all night," Barney insisted with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What?! I did the opposite! I threw some other girl at you," Robin protested, incredulous.

"You invited me up to your apartment to 'play Battleship.' Is that not an internationally recognized term for sex?" Barney joked.

"No," Robin replied firmly, shaking her head.

"Great. I hope you're happy. You sunk my battleship," Barney quipped with mock disappointment.

"Okay, you and me, that's insane. If you even thought about it for one second..." Robin started, her voice trailing off.

"But I have thought about it for three seconds, and it makes a lot of sense. We both think the marriage commitment thing's a drag. We both want something casual and fun. And we clearly get along really well," Barney reasoned, looking at Robin earnestly.

"Wow, that actually did make a lot of sense," Robin admitted, contemplating Barney's words. She thought about EJ, their arrangement as friends with benefits—it wasn't cheating, right?

As Robin checked her phone, a message from EJ made her smile faintly. Barney, ever observant, noticed her reaction. "Who's that?" he asked with a typically Barney-esque curiosity.

"EJ sent me something," Robin replied casually.

Then it clicked for Barney—the overly friendly gestures, their constant companionship. "You like EJ," he declared confidently.

"What? I do not like EJ, that's ridiculous," Robin denied hastily.

"You like EJ. Wow. This is huge," Barney teased, grinning widely.

"Barney, I don't like EJ. Besides, I know he's not looking for a relationship and neither am I," Robin asserted, trying to convince herself as much as Barney.

"Yeah, yeah. Look, are we gonna play Battleship or what?" Barney redirected, eager to shift the focus.

"You're not gonna tell him, are you?" Robin asked, a touch of concern in her voice.

"No. That's the bro code. A bro doesn't tell a mutual bro that a third bro has a crush on him. Just like the third bro doesn't tell the mutual bro that the original bro went bare pickle in front of her. It's quid pro bro," Barney reassured her with a grin.

"A-7," Robin said, returning to their game of Battleship.

"Miss," Barney replied.

Robin rolled her eyes. "Of course."

——

EJ sat comfortably on his couch, the glow of the TV casting a soft light in his living room. It was past 1 am, and he was contemplating calling it a night when the intercom buzzed, startling him out of his reverie. He glanced at the screen and saw Robin's name illuminated. A grin spread across his face as he pressed the button to let her in.

Moments later, Robin appeared at his door, and he greeted her with a warm smile. "Hey, come on in," he said, stepping aside to let her enter.

Robin entered with a casual air, looking around his apartment as if she hadn't been there many times before. "Hey," she greeted back, a slight nervousness in her voice that EJ couldn't miss.

Instead of their usual routine of hooking up, Robin surprised him by stating, "I just... I just wanted to hang out tonight, if that's okay."

EJ's smile softened, genuine warmth in his eyes. "Of course, that sounds great," he replied, motioning towards the couch. "Come on, have a seat."

They settled onto the couch, close together but not quite touching. As they chatted about their days, Robin gradually leaned into EJ's shoulder. Instinctively, EJ wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, a silent gesture of comfort and affection.

Sometimes, the most meaningful connections don't need to be defined—they just are.

But EJ and Robin didn't quite know that yet.