EJ, Ted, Barney, Marshall, and Robin were sitting in their usual booth at MacLaren's, the familiar hum of the bar surrounding them.

Robin stood up, grabbing her coat. "Alright, see you guys later."

EJ followed suit. "I'll walk you out."

Marshall, Ted, and Barney gave their farewells as EJ and Robin headed toward the exit.

Marshall's eyes trailed after Robin, checking her out as she left. Ted noticed immediately. "You just checked out Robin's ass."

Marshall stammered. "What? No. I... Barney, I was..."

Barney grinned. "Dude, that's awesome! You're finally forgetting about that short redhead."

Marshall sighed. "Lily."

Barney snapped his fingers. "Yes, Lily, thank you. That was gonna drive me crazy all night." He called out to EJ. "Hey, EJ! Marshall just checked out your girlfriend's ass."

EJ turned, eyebrows raised. "He did what?"

Marshall protested weakly. "I did not, EJ..."

EJ chuckled, clapping Marshall on the shoulder. "My man! You're finally getting better."

Barney looked delighted. "This is the moment I've been waiting for. Starting tonight, I'm gonna teach you how to live. Ted, EJ, you're out of chances. Marshall's in."

EJ smirked. "Already know how to live, Barney."

Ted raised his glass. "Yes!"

Marshall groaned. "Oh, God!"

Barney leaned in conspiratorially. "Marshall, being a single guy in New York City is like... pfff... what does everybody like?"

Marshall blinked. "Candy."

Barney's eyes lit up. "Yeah! It's like being in a candy store. You just walk right in and grab yourself some Whoppers. Yeah. Is Whoppers the best ones?"

Ted offered, "Mounds."

EJ added, "Laffy Taffy."

Barney nodded enthusiastically. "Milk Duds."

Ted chimed in again, "Gobstoppers."

This conversation continued for another hour.

Barney snapped his fingers again. "Nice! Marshall, we're doing this. I am not taking no for an answer."

Marshall sighed, giving in. "Fine."

———

EJ sat across from Karen and Luke at a cozy bistro in Manhattan. The lunch had been pleasant so far, but he was waiting for the right moment to bring up the cabin.

"So," EJ began, swirling his iced tea with a straw, "I thought I could use the cabin this weekend."

Karen and Luke exchanged intrigued glances. Karen was the first to speak. "Why would you need to use the cabin? You usually only go there for parties."

Luke added, "And I don't want the cabin trashed."

EJ chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm too old for that, Dad. I'm actually bringing someone."

Luke's eyes flashed with curiosity. "A date?"

Karen's then followed up. "Could it be Rob—"

EJ sighed, already anticipating the next question. "Yes, Mom, it's Robin. We're actually dating now."

Karen clasped her hands together, beaming. "Oh, how wonderful! How long has this been going on?"

"Two months," EJ replied.

Karen's smile faltered slightly, replaced with a mock stern expression. "Two months? And you didn't tell us?"

EJ shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. "I wanted to spend time with Robin first."

Luke smirked, giving his son a teasing look. "I thought you said you weren't into the relationship thing?"

"Robin's different," EJ admitted, sincerity in his voice. "In a good way. I really like her, and we haven't had alone time in weeks."

Karen's smile returned, full force. "I adore Robin. She's fantastic."

EJ nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "I know. She really is."

Luke took a sip of his coffee before changing the subject. "So, how are Marshall and Lily doing?"

EJ's expression turned somber. "They broke up. It's been tough."

Karen and Luke exchanged looks of disappointment. "That's a shame," Karen said softly.

Then she turned to Luke, her expression brightening slightly. "Speaking of which, how's Brooke doing these days?"

Luke nodded, catching her subtle hint. "She's doing well. Still single."

EJ raised an eyebrow but chose not to comment on the subtle matchmaking suggestion. "Anyway, I just wanted to get away with Robin for a bit. We need it."

Karen reached across the table, squeezing EJ's hand. "I'm happy for you, sweetheart. Use the cabin. Have a wonderful time."

"Thanks, Mom," EJ said, feeling grateful for his supportive parents.

Luke clapped EJ on the shoulder. "Just don't trash the place."

EJ laughed. "I won't, Dad. Promise."

———

EJ stood outside the restaurant, the sunlight filtering through the trees lining the street. He dialed Robin's number, feeling a rush of excitement.

"Hey, Robin," EJ said as soon as she answered. "Just got back from lunch with my parents. I secured the keys to the cabin."

Robin's voice lit up on the other end. "That's amazing! So we can leave this weekend?"

"Absolutely," EJ confirmed. "It's a beautiful cabin in the Hamptons, secluded in the woods, no neighbors for miles. It's the perfect spot for some alone time."

Robin laughed. "No neighbors, huh? Sounds like we can make all the noise we want."

EJ grinned. "Exactly. It's got everything—big fireplace, a hot tub, and a wraparound porch. Perfect for... well, whatever we want."

Robin's voice turned playful. "Whatever we want, huh? I like the sound of that."

"Me too," EJ said, his tone equally teasing. "I've been looking forward to this. Just you, me, and a whole lot of uninterrupted time together."

Robin sighed happily. "I can't wait. By the way, did Marshall really check out my ass earlier?"

EJ laughed. "Yeah, he did. Definitely checked out your ass."

Robin laughed again. "He checked out my ass? Hey, tell him thanks. I felt like I was having a bad ass day. Cool. Bye, babe."

"Bye," EJ said, smiling as he hung up the phone.

Robin reached her apartment building, still grinning. As she walked up the steps, she saw Lily sitting on her landing. It had been months since Lily left for San Francisco and broke up with Marshall.

"Lily," Robin said, surprise in her voice.

Lily smiled knowingly. "It is a great ass."

———

Ted lounged on the couch in EJ and Ben's apartment, immersed in a video game, when a knock at the door interrupted their gaming session. EJ got up to answer it, and to his delight, it was Robin.

"Hey," EJ greeted her with a smile.

"Hey you," Robin replied, stepping inside.

"You've gotta hear this," Robin began eagerly.

"You will not believe what just happened," Ted chimed in, turning away from the game.

"You go first," Robin said to Ted.

"I found a 1939 penny on the subway. Just imagine the history this little copper guy's seen..." Ted started to explain, but Robin cut in with her news.

"Lily is back in town," Robin announced.

EJ's expression shifted slightly, surprised by the news. "What?"

Robin continued, "I actually went apartment hunting with her today."

Ted took a step back, processing the information. "How is she doing?"

"You're not gonna like it," Robin warned.

Earlier

"I am doing great. This summer, best thing ever. San Francisco is so happening right now."

Now

EJ sighed, conflicted. "That's so wonderful. I'm glad she's happy. But Marshall had the worst summer of his life, and she's happy?"

Earlier

"Oh, the art program, best thing ever."

Now

Ted interjected with his own perspective. "Oh, she's such a... godda... God! After what she did to Marshall, she should come back here devastated. Crawling over the broken glass of her own shame and regret."

He grabbed beers for EJ and Robin, easing the tension with the offer.

Robin spoke up, defending Lily. "You never chose sides. I respect that."

EJ, however, couldn't hide his exasperation. "She's unbelievable! Unbelievable!"

He turned to Robin with a direct question. "Does Marshall know she's back?"

Ted was adamant. "We have to tell him."

Robin disagreed, her voice tinged with concern. "No, we don't. He's just starting to get better, going out with Barney. How do you think he'll feel when he hears Lily's moved on?"

EJ's confusion deepened. "She's moved on?"

Robin shrugged casually. "Well, it happens. I've fallen out of love faster than that before. Sometimes, boom, with no warning whatsoever. One day we're in love, the next day, he's dead to me."

EJ stared at her, trying to process her words.

"But we're great!" Robin added quickly, reaching out to him. "Honey? Babe? Please don't cancel the Hamptons."

EJ shook his head, still processing everything that was happening.

"You're going to the Hamptons?" Ted asked, intrigued.

EJ nodded, jiggling the keys in his hand. "Yep, got the keys right here. We leave in two days."

Ted chuckled suddenly, recalling a wild story. "Hey, remember that time Ben got really drunk and broke the hot tub?"

2000

It was a balmy summer evening, the air thick with laughter and the smell of barbecue. EJ's backyard was alive with friends gathered around, enjoying the warmth and company. Marshall, Ted, and EJ stood by the hot tub, drinks in hand, as Ben stumbled through the crowd, clearly intoxicated.

Ben held up a beer bottle triumphantly. "I am invincible!"

Marshall shook his head with a grin. "Careful, Ben. You've already had a few too many."

"Ah, the hot tub, where great decisions are made."

EJ nudged Ted playfully. "Speak for yourself, Ted."

As they bantered, Naomi joined them, smiling at the antics. "What's going on here?" she asked, leaning against EJ.

EJ wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Just watching Ben tempt fate," he replied.

Ben, meanwhile, oblivious to any caution, climbed into the hot tub with a dramatic splash, eliciting cheers and shouts of encouragement. "To summer nights and the best damn hot tub in the Hamptons!" he declared, raising his beer in a toast.

Marshall chuckled, shaking his head. "We're gonna regret this."

EJ exchanged a knowing look with Naomi, sharing a private joke about Ben's antics over the years.

Suddenly, with a loud crack, the hot tub emitted a gush of water, startling everyone. Ben froze mid-toast, staring wide-eyed at the water pooling around him.

Ted burst out laughing. "Oh no, Ben, what have you done?"

Marshall clapped a hand to his forehead. "I knew it."

EJ exchanged a glance with Naomi, both trying to stifle their laughter. "Ben, seriously?" he called out, shaking his head in mock disapproval.

Ben, soaked and sheepish, climbed out of the hot tub amidst the laughter and good-natured ribbing from his friends. "I may have overestimated my invincibility," he admitted ruefully.

———

EJ, Ted, and Robin were at Robin's apartment, having been summoned by Robin who had news to share. EJ and Ted were still processing the return of Lily and their own feelings about it.

Robin led them inside, and there, sitting on the couch, was Lily.

"Lily," Ted greeted with a mix of surprise and tension.

Lily looked up, trying to muster a smile. "Hey guys."

Robin quickly jumped in. "Lily needs an apartment, and EJ, since you're a real estate agent and such a good friend, I thought you could help her out."

EJ crossed his arms, his frustration evident. "You left without a word, Lily. And now you want my help?"

Lily sighed. "I know, EJ. I messed up. But I really need your help now."

EJ shook his head. "I'll give you the number of a colleague. I can't help you. I'm going to be gone this weekend."

Lily's eyes widened. "Gone? Why? What's so important?"

Robin, stepping closer to EJ, wrapped an arm around his waist. "We're going to the Hamptons," she said, smiling up at him.

EJ hugged Robin into his side, giving her a brief kiss. "Yeah, we're actually dating now. Two months."

Lily was momentarily taken aback, then smiled. "That's great! But I really need an apartment, EJ."

EJ sighed, looking down at Robin, who gave him a look. "Fine. We'll go apartment hunting today. But only today."

Lily's face lit up. "Thank you! But can we really find one in a day?"

EJ's determination shone through. "We'll find one. But first, I need to go to my office for everything. Then we can all go."

Robin smiled, leaning in for another kiss. "Thanks, babe."

EJ kissed her back. "Anything for you."

———

EJ, Ted, Robin, and Lily gathered their things, ready to embark on the apartment hunt. EJ, determined to get this done today, led the way. They set off, eager to find Lily a new place to live.

As they moved through the city, EJ showed Lily a range of apartments. Some were bright and spacious, others dark and cramped.

One even had a toilet in the living room.

First Apartment: A Bright and Spacious Loft

Lily's eyes widened as she took in the loft. "This is really nice! But... it's way over my budget."

EJ nodded, understanding. "I know, but I wanted to show you what's out there."

Second Apartment: A Small, Dark Studio

Ted winced as they entered the cramped space. "Yeah, this one's a bit... cozy."

Lily frowned, unimpressed. "I can't see myself living here. Next?"

Third Apartment: A Middle-Ground Two-Bedroom

Robin looked around, seeing potential. "This one has potential."

Lily walked around, considering the space. "It's okay, but I need the freedom to really chase my passion, which was painting but now, I think it's music, or spoken words. Maybe both. God, isn't life amazing?"

EJ and Ted exchanged knowing glances as Lily stepped out to get the key for the lockbox.

EJ and Ted both nodded to each other, understanding exactly what was going on.

Robin noticed their silent exchange. "What?"

EJ shrugged. "She's miserable. She's realized she's made a huge mistake."

Ted chimed in, hopeful. "Her and Marshall will be back together in a week. I love it!"

Robin shook her head, disagreeing. "No, you just want Lily to be miserable. The truth is she's happy."

Ted scoffed. "Trust me. We've known Lily for nine years."

Robin countered, "Trust me, I'm a girl!"

EJ smirked. "Yeah, but you're Canadian."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Why do you always have to bring that up?"

EJ adopted a playful tone. "You're our weird neighbors!"

Robin huffed. "Cut it out!"

EJ grinned, slipping into a playful Canadian accent. "Okay, okay, I'll cut it oat."

Ted and EJ laughed, while Robin huffed.

Robin challenged them. "Five bucks says she's happy, and you two are just being jerks."

EJ agreed with a condition. "Deal, but on one condition."

Robin asked, curious. "And that is?"

Ted replied, smirking. "Five American bucks."

Robin sighed. "Dammit! OK, so how do we get the truth out of her?"

Ted grinned. "Tequila. It's her weakness. Three shots, she tells you the truth about anything."

Lily returned, keys in hand, and rejoined the group. "I hope this is my new home."

EJ gave her a serious look. "I'm going to warn you, based on your price range, this is what I was able to find."

They entered the next apartment, a shabby one-bedroom in a less desirable part of town.

Lily looked around, her face falling. "Yeah, I'm gonna take that first apartment."

EJ raised an eyebrow. "The first one? But it was over your budget."

Lily nodded, trying to muster enthusiasm. "I know, but I need something that feels right, you know?"

EJ, Ted, and Robin shared a look, each silently acknowledging the truth: Lily was not as happy as she pretended to be.

———

Lily sat on the couch, animatedly recounting her summer adventures. "And then I discovered this area, North Beach. Best beach ever! Oh, I've been blabbering on about my summer. How are you guys doing? And hey, how is Marshall?"

EJ, trying to keep things light, replied, "Fine," but his tone was unconvincing.

Ted chimed in with forced enthusiasm, "Terrific."

EJ excused himself to make some calls to the landlords of the apartments they had visited. After a few minutes, he returned with a frustrated look. "The first one we looked at has already been taken. I argued with them, asking why it was even available to look at in the first place."

Lily's face fell. "I didn't get it. That first apartment. I... somebody else got it." Her eyes welled up with tears.

Ted seized the moment, his tone probing. "Interesting. Wow, Lily, you seem to be having a pretty strong reaction to losing this apartment. I wonder, is it because it reminds you of something you lost because you couldn't commit?"

Robin tried to be supportive but firm. "No, Lily, you're crying over the crown molding and the real hardwood floor. There's no deeper meaning, right Lily? Just quit crying and tell him."

Lily broke down, sobbing. "The apartment is a metaphor for Marshall!" Robin handed EJ and Ted the five dollars each they had bet.

EJ couldn't resist a smug remark to his girlfriend. "Told you so."

———

The Next Morning at a Snack Bar

A few hours before EJ and Robin were supposed to leave for the Hamptons, they found themselves at a snack bar, nursing hangovers. Robin, still drunk, was acting a fool.

And the thing about hangovers - everyone has their own special remedy."

A waiter approached their table. "Morning guys, what can I get you?"

Lily, looking miserable, whispered, "Shhh! Bring me the dirtiest, greasiest tuna melt you got. And a milkshake."

Ted, without missing a beat, said, "Gravy."

The waiter gave Ted a puzzled look before turning to EJ. "For you, sir?"

EJ replied, "Juice."

The waiter asked, "You want that juice with something?"

Ted interjected with a smirk, "Surprise me."

Robin, still tipsy, piped up, "I'd take you with juice if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here! Just kidding. I'm good."

Lily, confused, asked, "What are you chirpy about?"

Ted explained, "She's still drunk from last night."

Robin protested, "I don't think so! Whoo!"

EJ gently admonished her, "Alright, settle down there, Tiger."

Robin proceeded to do a silly drunk dance.

EJ turned serious. "Look, if you want Marshall back so bad, how come it took you two days to ask about him?"

Lily's eyes filled with regret. "I was dying to ask. I was just trying to play it cool. But really... it was such an awful summer! I just wanted to get back here and see him."

Ted was confused. "But I thought your summer was great?!"

Lily shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "Not exactly..."

She proceeded to explain how her fellowship had been a disaster and the "cool people" she met on the bus were actually crackheads.

Lily continued, "I never got in touch because I was too embarrassed. I screwed everything up. I have no job, no place to live. I lost the love of my life. Look, I know I have no right to ask this, but do you think Marshall would take me back?"

EJ sighed. "I don't know, you kinda screwed him up, Lil, but you guys were together for nine years, so that's gotta amount to something."

Ted added, "In a heartbeat. If you called him up, yeah, he'd take you back with open arms."

Lily looked hopeful. "Wow. So, maybe I should call him?"

Ted's expression turned stern. "Maybe. No! This is... Ooww... Hold on. Look. If you're gonna go back to him, I don't wanna hear the word 'maybe.' 'Maybe' cannot be in your vocabulary. This breakup almost killed him."

EJ followed up on Ted's point. "And if you pull this crap again, then stay the hell away from Marshall. He's already been through enough this summer."

Robin, laughing and still drunk, added her own brand of silly non-cringe talk, "Hey, did you guys know... Did you know that... Uh... Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I love you guys! This is the best breakfast ever!" She waved her arms dramatically, almost knocking over her juice.

EJ smiled, shaking his head. "Alright, Robin, let's get you some coffee."

Ted laughed, "Yeah, before you declare your love to the waiter too."

———

A few hours later, Robin was sober and her bags were packed. She stood by the door, ready for the trip.

EJ looked at the pile of luggage and teased, "Robin, it's a weekend trip and you look like you've packed like we're moving into the house."

Robin grinned. "What can I say? We're going to be in the woods. You never know when you might need a dress or a flamethrower."

EJ chuckled and called Lily. "Hey, Lily. We're about to head out. Everything okay?"

Lily's voice came through the phone, a hint of desperation. "Hey, EJ. I know you guys are leaving, but is there any way you can show me one more apartment? I really need to find a place."

EJ sighed but kept his tone gentle. "Lily, we're literally leaving right now. I promise I'll help you first thing when we get back."

Lily relented, "Alright, I just wanted to see. But have fun, and I'm really happy you and Robin are dating."

EJ smiled, "Me too. And for what it's worth, it's nice to have you back, Lil."

They hung up, and EJ turned to Robin. "Alright, let's get these bags to the car."

EJ carried Robin's bags to the car, packing them neatly into the trunk. They got into the car, and EJ started the engine. As they drove towards the Hamptons, the cityscape gave way to the serene countryside.

Robin looked out the window, the passing scenery reflecting in her eyes. "I can't believe we're finally getting some alone time," she said softly.

EJ reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Me neither. It's going to be great. Just you and me, away from everything."

Robin turned to him, a small smile playing on her lips. "You know, I've always wanted to see what the Hamptons are like."

EJ smiled back, "Well, I'll give you the full tour. Secluded cabin, no neighbors, just peace and quiet."

Robin then shot him a playful grin. "You know, no neighbors means we can make all the noise we want. Just think of all the alone time we're gonna have."

EJ laughed, reaching over to hold her hand. "Yeah, and no interruptions. Just you, me, and a whole lot of... relaxation."

Robin leaned over, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I can't wait."