The gang was at the bar yet again, listening to Marshall rave about this new game he invented.

"It's called 'Marsh-gammon,'" Marshall declared proudly. "Combines Candy Land, I Never, Pictionary—"

"Backgammon, obviously," Robin interjected with a playful smirk.

Marshall shook his head adamantly. "Nope, backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the 'gammon,' and left the rest in the trash where it belongs."

EJ, sitting across from Marshall, raised an eyebrow, a mock-offended expression on his face. "How dare you. Backgammon is the greatest game known to man. You're just butthurt because I win every time, sucker."

Marshall leaned back, crossing his arms. "Oh please, you just got lucky once, and now you think you're a backgammon champion."

EJ leaned forward, the banter heating up. "Luck? Please, it's skill, pure skill."

As the two argued, Lily changed the topic.

"I'm so excited Victoria's coming," she announced.

EJ, seizing the moment to escape the brewing debate, offered, "I'm gonna get another round, you guys want anything?"

Ben quickly responded, "Yeah, scotch on the rocks."

Barney chimed in, "Same."

Robin saw her chance and jumped in, "I'll come with you, I kinda need to talk to you anyway," she said, using the opportunity to be alone with EJ.

EJ smiled in agreement, and they headed towards the bar together.

Meanwhile, Ted, sensing the need to set some boundaries for the evening, spoke up. "Okay, I want to lay down some ground rules for tonight. Barney, I really like Victoria, so please don't say anything that could embarrass—"

Ben interrupted, "You still don't have a thing for Robin, right?"

Ted hesitated, his discomfort evident. "I... I don't know, but just don't tell Victoria, okay?"

Barney, always ready with a quip, couldn't resist stirring the pot. "Well, well, well. How rich. You make me promise to be on my best behavior around your girlfriend, yet, you have been lying to her since day one."

Ted looked exasperated. "Barney, please. I swore you to secrecy on that."

Lily leaned forward with curiosity. "Ooh, I am smelling dirt. What is the story of the re-return?"

Ted quickly deflected. "Nothing. It's nothing. And speaking of digging up dirt, can I count on you all to behave around Victoria tonight?"

Ben playfully reassured him, "Me? I would never," a mischievous glint in his eye.

As they glanced over to the bar, Ted noticed EJ and Robin engaged in an animated conversation, their body language unusually familiar. "And what's with those two lately? They're being overly chummy," Ted remarked, a hint of concern in his voice.

Barney couldn't resist adding his signature wit. "Oh, please. They're just two bros, bro-ing it up. What could possibly be going on there?"

But after his talk with Robin, he knew that was bullshit.

Meanwhile, Ben's mind raced back to the conversation he had with EJ, where EJ had made it clear he didn't want anyone knowing about his casual arrangement with Robin. Ben's gaze flickered to EJ and Robin again, noticing their easy familiarity and wondering if there was more beneath the surface.

——

In Marshall and Lily's apartment, the gang gathered around a makeshift game board for Marshall's newly invented game, Marsh-gammon. Marshall, ever enthusiastic, explained the rules with animated gestures.

"But if you roll an even number while adjacent to the Peppermint Forest, then you 'Marshall out,' and all your chips go into the pot, and remember, if you ever ask the question 'What?', then... you gotta drink. Got it?"

EJ raised an eyebrow, exchanging bemused glances with the others. "Not a clue. Anyone get it?"

The collective response was a unanimous "No."

Marshall chuckled, undeterred. "Okay, okay, no worries. We'll just start, and you guys'll pick it up. Newbie goes first. Roll."

Victoria, Ted's new girlfriend, rolled the dice and revealed a three. Marshall grinned mischievously. "Three! You got Autobiography. Now, that's where you have to answer a personal question about your dating life truthfully in order to move on."

Ted tried to intervene, but Marshall pressed on. "Hey, she's the one who rolled a three. Victoria, 'Have you ever cheated while in a relationship?' Wow, good question."

Ted winced, but Victoria took it in stride. "It's okay. Um, well, I was in a really crappy relationship in college, and I wound up kissing this guy at a party one night, and I felt terrible about it, so, I came clean, and we broke up."

Ben, sympathetic, spoke up. "Damn, sorry to hear that."

Marshall nodded approvingly. "Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to The Gumdrop Mountains."

Barney, always the instigator, couldn't resist teasing. "So Victoria, did you ever re-return to this guy?"

Victoria, caught off guard, responded with a simple "What?"

Marshall jumped in gleefully. "You said 'what,' you gotta drink!"

Lily seized the opportunity to change the subject, directing a playful accusation at Barney. "Oh, Barney, by the way, I went to a party in that new building on 82nd, and the host said she knew you. What is her name? Sharon? Shannon?"

Barney feigned ignorance, shaking his head. "Shannon?! Shannon, Shannon... No, don't remember any Shannon."

Lily persisted with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Really? Well, 'cause she gave me a videotape to give..."

Barney's demeanor suddenly shifted. "Where's the tape?"

Lily chuckled, knowing she had caught him off guard. "Fine. I'll go get it."

Barney's curiosity was piqued, but Marshall directed the game back to Robin, who took her turn. She rolled a five, landing on another Autobiography card.

"For the player to your left, Victoria!" Marshall announced gleefully. "Victoria, 'How many boyfriends did you have before you started dating Ted?'"

Ted looked uncomfortable, but Victoria answered honestly. "Okay, uh, well, boyfriends—I guess I've only had... two."

Robin couldn't resist a playful jab. "Prude alert."

Victoria blushed slightly. "Well... that's serious boyfriends. I've dated other guys in between."

Robin teased further. "Oh, slut alert!"

Barney interjected, trying to lighten the mood. "Oh, great, there it is. Thanks, Lily. You're a peach."

Marshall, delighted by the chaos, chuckled as he collected chips. "Oh, wow, look at that. Robin landed on the Chocolate Swamp. That's five chips for me. Thank you! Finally, somebody understands Marsh-gammon."

Lily returned with the videotape in hand, teasing Barney about its contents. EJ, ever curious, added fuel to the fire. "What's on the tape, Barney?"

Barney, suddenly on edge, replied defensively. "Too bad you'll never find out."

Lily couldn't contain her satisfaction. "Oh, damn it! If only I'd given you a fake tape and hidden the real tape in my purse. Oh, wait. That's exactly what I did."

EJ chuckled at Lily's sneakiness. "You little sneak."

Barney's frustration was palpable as he demanded the tape. "Give it to me, give it, give me..."

Ted eagerly joined in. "Play the tape, play it, play it!"

As the tape rolled, everyone erupted into laughter at the sight of Barney with long hair and a ridiculous beard, professing his love in an overly dramatic manner.

"Shannon! I love you! I love you so much. What about us changing the world together? Don't tell me you've forgotten. I know I haven't. Will I ever see another rainbow? Will an eagle ever soar through this tempest of woe? Baby, please Don't go There's a thief in the palace, she's stolen all my love There's a thief in the palace and she's..."

While everyone else laughed, Barney abruptly stood up and left the apartment, clearly embarrassed.

Ben tried to placate him. "Barney, come on, don't leave."

But Barney ignored him and exited.

EJ, surprised by Barney's reaction, shook his head. "Dammit, we should not have done that."

——

At MacLaren's, concern hung in the air as Marshall, Ted, and EJ discussed Barney's disappearance.

"Did you try his cell phone?" Marshall asked, furrowing his brow.

EJ shook his head. "Can't get him anywhere. I've never seen him like that before."

Ted chimed in, clearly worried. "Yeah, I left two messages. I checked the cigar club, the Lusty Leopard. He's off the grid."

Suddenly, Barney walked in, breaking the tense atmosphere. "Hey, guys, what up?"

Immediately, Robin jumped in with concern. "Barney, where have you been?"

Ted and Lily echoed her sentiments. "Yeah, we're really sorry about that."

Lily, ever the curious one, couldn't resist bringing up the embarrassing tape again. "Yeah, so sorry. But seriously, what was up with the tape?"

The group started laughing again, but Barney, clearly still affected, began to get up to leave.

Sensing his distress, the group quickly changed their tone. "No, no, stay."

"Come on, stay!" Marshall urged, trying to keep the mood light.

Barney hesitated, clearly reluctant to discuss what had happened. "I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about it. It was the most embarrassing and humiliating thing that ever happened to me."

Marshall, always one to empathize, tried to reassure him. "Well, we all have embarrassing stories. Sometimes it's good to talk about it."

Barney challenged him sarcastically. "Oh, really? Then why don't you tell us your most humiliating moment, Marshall? Show me how good it is."

Marshall took a deep breath and decided to share. "Alright. So, I was stopping by Lily's kindergarten class to say hi, but they were all at recess. I really had to pee, so I went into the class's restroom. It was a smaller target than I'm used to, so I figured I should sit down. What I didn't realize was, it was a shared bathroom. I wish I'd pulled up my pants."

EJ, trying to lighten the mood, chimed in with a grin. "Why didn't you pull up your pants when the kid walked in?"

Lily giggled. "The kids still call him Funny Butt."

Barney nodded thoughtfully. "Okay. I'll tell you my story. Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today."

Years Ago

"It was 1998. I was just out of college, working at a coffeehouse with my girlfriend Shannon," Barney began, his voice carrying a hint of nostalgia. "Shannon, you were meant for me, and I was meant for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh. Thank you. All right."

Shannon smiled fondly at Barney's theatrical display. "I love your singing, Barney."

"And I love you, Shannon," Barney replied, his eyes filled with adoration.

Their moment was interrupted by a customer ordering a nonfat latte. Barney tried to maintain his cool demeanor amidst the interruption. "Mellow order, bro, mellow order."

The customer, amused by Barney's interaction with Shannon, attempted a high five. "Dude, that your girlfriend? All right, high five!"

Barney, remaining true to his unique style, declined with humor. "Sorry, I only give high twos."

The customer shrugged dismissively. "Whatevs. As long as you're nailing that."

Barney's tone shifted as he defended Shannon's honor. "Listen to you. That? You know, women aren't objects. They're human beings. And FYI, Shannon and I have decided to wait till we're married. You can read about it in my zine."

The customer scoffed, delivering a final remark before leaving. "Hey, haircut, right here. Open up your knowledge basket, 'cause here it comes. Forget that touchy-feely crap. You get money, you get laid. End of discussion."

Barney sighed, shaking his head at the man's perspective. "I feel sorry for you, man. Suits."

"Five weeks later, we were all set to leave for the Peace Corps. Only problem was... she never showed up."

Present Time

Robin, curious about the outcome, probed further. "She never showed?"

Ted, intrigued by the unfolding narrative, leaned in. "So, what happened next?"

Barney hesitated, feeling the weight of his past. "You know what? This was a mistake."

Lily, ever the enthusiast for storytelling, proposed a diversion. "Wait... What if somebody else told their most humiliating story?"

Marshall, seizing the opportunity, was quick to propose a solution. "Oh, I know just how to decide who."

Lily, surprised by Marshall's preparedness, questioned his choice of activity. "You brought the game to the bar?"

Marshall defended his decision with a grin. "Well, we're not quitting just 'cause Ted's so far ahead."

Ted, somewhat taken aback by his lead in the game, looked around for reactions. "I was winning?"

Robin, stepping up to the challenge, decided to share her own embarrassing tale. "Fine. I'll go next."

As Robin began her story, EJ interjected with a playful jab. "Robin, we've heard the slipping in horse poop story."

Ted chimed in, recalling the infamous incident. "Yeah, we all saw it."

EJ, adding a familial twist to the anecdote, joked further. "My family saw it."

Robin winced at the memory, clearly embarrassed by the widespread knowledge of her mishap. "Fine, whatever."

The group's attention returned to Barney, who continued with his narrative.

Years Ago

"I went back to the coffeehouse to find Shannon," Barney recounted, his voice tinged with emotion as he recalled the pivotal moment. "Shannon."

"Barney," Shannon replied, her tone reflecting her conflicted emotions.

"Sugar Bear, where were you?" Barney asked, his concern palpable.

Shannon sighed, explaining her predicament. "Oh, I'm sorry. My dad won't let me go."

Barney struggled to comprehend her decision. "But the Nicaraguans need us!"

Shannon tried to explain her father's influence. "It's just, he's still supporting me, and... Look, he's coming by soon to talk about it, but I think you should go on without me."

Barney's expression softened as he realized the gravity of Shannon's choice. "Shannon, there is no..."

Cutting him off gently, Shannon reiterated her stance. "Barney, it's your dream. It's only two years. I know we can make it."

Barney, torn between his aspirations and his love for Shannon, reflected on their future. "As I walked away, I realized Shannon was an adult. Her father couldn't control her life. I had to go back and confront him."

Present

Ben, engrossed in the unfolding drama, expressed his interest. "Dude, I am actually invested in this story. What happened next?"

EJ, always ready to keep the game going, interjected with a playful reminder. "Now we all got to drink."

The group complied, taking a sip of their drinks, except for Barney, who remained lost in thought.

Ted, unable to contain his curiosity, pressed for the conclusion. "Oh, my God. What happened next?"

Barney, grappling with his emotions, finally admitted, "I don't know, guys."

Lily, sensing the need for a lighter moment, interjected with a mischievous grin. "Okay, okay. Marshall's mom sent us cookies..."

Marshall, realizing where Lily was headed, tried to halt her narrative. "Lily, no!"

Undeterred, Lily launched into her story with relish. "For the team, Marshall, for the team."

As Marshall listened with a mix of embarrassment and amusement, Lily recounted a humorous tale involving a phone call with Marshall's mom and some "special activities" on the kitchen floor.

Marshall's Mom was still on the phone.

Robin looked at Lily and Marshall in disbelief. "The whole time?"

Lily nodded slowly. "The... whole... time."

Marshall cleared his throat awkwardly. "Barney, that was really embarrassing for both of us. We just earned a huge chunk of story."

Barney grimaced. "Right. So where was I? Oh, yeah. Shannon was sucking face with her Dad."

EJ's eyes widened, "Her Dad?"

Barney nodded. "That's right, Hombre."

Years Ago

"How could you? I mean, with him? I know judge not lest ye be judged, but gross!" Barney exclaimed, his voice tinged with hurt.

Shannon sighed, her voice softening. "Barney, that's not my dad. His name's Greg. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks. I was hoping you'd just leave, and we could avoid all this."

"We're breaking up? But what about the Peace Corps?" Barney asked, desperation creeping into his tone.

"Yeah, all that granola stuff, it was just a phase. Greg's older. He's successful. He buys me all these nice things," Shannon replied, her gaze drifting away.

"But I love you," Barney protested, his voice cracking.

Shannon hesitated. "But he has a boat. You should go to the Peace Corps and forget about me."

Barney's heart sank. "I didn't go. That night, I recorded my video and mailed it to Shannon. I didn't see her until a week later. There's sugar in the basket. Shannon! Shannon, you came back!"

"I'm just picking up my last paycheck," Shannon explained quietly.

"Oh. Did you... did you get my tape?" Barney asked tentatively.

Man nearby interjected, "Oh, she got the tape."

"You? It was you?" Barney turned to the man, disbelief and hurt written across his face.

"Will I ever see another rainbow? Oh, man," the man muttered, shaking his head.

Barney left the coffee shop, tears in his eyes. A stranger handed him a flyer that read "Suit Up." Barney ran his hands through his hair, visibly upset. Later, he cut his hair short, shaved, and put on a suit.

Present

Barney took a deep breath, his expression pained. "The story's not over. I did see Shannon one more time."

"When?" Robin asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Sorry," Marshall interjected, sensing Barney's hesitation.

"You've got to tell us," Lily urged gently.

Barney hesitated, staring down at his hands. "I don't know, I think I might need one last story to get me through it."

EJ, noticing the tension and wanting to break it, coughed lightly. "I suppose I'll go next."

"Dude, you mean the-" Ben started, but EJ cut him off with a firm look. "It's for the story, Ben. It's for the story."

EJ took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, glancing over at Ben, who gave him a reluctant nod.

"Alright, this is a story from our college days. It was the spring semester of our sophomore year, before I dropped out and Ben and I were roommates. We were known for our epic parties, but this particular night was supposed to be a quiet one. We had a big exam the next morning, and we were both cramming hard. But, as it always happens in college, things didn't go as planned."

Ted, Lily, and Marshall exchanged knowing looks, clearly recalling the events EJ was about to recount.

"So, it's around 1 am, and we're both in the dorm, books spread out everywhere. Suddenly, we hear this loud banging on the door. Ben and I look at each other, both thinking the same thing: 'Who the hell is it at this hour?' I get up, open the door, and there stands our friend, Jake, completely hammered. Turns out, he was kicked out of a bar and needed a place to crash."

Ted laughed, "Jake always knew how to find trouble."

"Well," EJ continued, "we let him in, of course. But Jake wasn't just any drunk; he was a 'life of the party' kind of drunk. Within minutes, he had raided our fridge, found a bottle of tequila, and was demanding we take shots with him. Ben and I tried to resist, but Jake was persistent."

Ben interjected, "We figured one shot wouldn't hurt. Famous last words."

"So we take a shot," EJ said, shaking his head at the memory. "Then another. And another. Before we knew it, our quiet study session had turned into an impromptu party with just the three of us. At some point, Jake gets this brilliant idea that we should do a karaoke contest. Now, we didn't have a karaoke machine, but that didn't stop Jake. He grabs a broom, starts belting out 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' and insists we join in."

Lily laughed, "Oh my God, I remember that! We could hear you guys from down the hall."

Please tell me you didn't," Robin said, grinning.

"We did," EJ admitted. "But it gets worse. Halfway through the song, there's another knock on the door. This time, it's our neighbor, Karen, Ted's old girlfriend who was always complaining about the noise. We quickly tried to hide the evidence, but it was too late. She barges in, sees Jake on the table with the broom, Ben in a sombrero we didn't even know we owned, and me with a lampshade on my head."

Marshall laughed, "How did you explain that?"

"We didn't have to," EJ said. "Because at that moment, Jake decided to jump off the table, lost his balance, and crashed into Karen. She screamed, we panicked, and in the chaos, Ben somehow ends up falling over the couch, dragging me with him. We're all on the floor, Karen is yelling, Jake is laughing, and we're just praying this is all a bad dream."

"And the best part?" Ben added, unable to suppress his laughter. "Karen storms out, and as she's leaving, she slips on one of Jake's tequila bottles, goes down like a sack of potatoes, and then, the fire alarm goes off. Apparently, in our drunken state, we knocked over a candle, which set off the smoke detector."

Marshall shook his head, still laughing. "I remember the fire alarm! We all had to evacuate the building."

"Campus security shows up," EJ said, shaking his head. "They see the mess, the broken furniture, the fire alarm blaring, and Jake still trying to sing. Needless to say, we were in a lot of trouble. We had to spend the rest of the night explaining ourselves to the campus police and then deal with Karen's complaints the next day. Not to mention, we completely bombed our exam the next morning."

Lily covered her mouth, trying not to laugh too hard. "That's... that's actually amazing."

"Yeah, it wasn't our finest moment," EJ admitted. "We spent the rest of the semester on probation and had to do community service to make up for the chaos."

"Too bad your Dad couldn't get us out of that one." Ben said, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, it's one of his 'worst moments' of being a parent." EJ said, shaking his head.

Ben leaned back, smirking. "Alright, Ted, you're up, man."

Ted sighed. "Fine. Um... oh! The green testicle story. So I was playing ultimate frisbee in college, and there was this barefoot dude with weirdly sharp toenails..."

Barney interrupted, "Oh, come on, Ted! You know what story I want to hear. Everyone else here has manned up tonight and told the truth. Why can't you?"

Ted looked around, resigned. "You're right. Victoria, I'm sorry I haven't told you this yet, but a while back, I was kind of into Robin. In fact, on our first date, I might have said, 'I love you.' Understandably, she freaked out, and I left."

EJ, remembering that night, nodded. "Yeah, definitely not one of your finest moments."

Ted shrugged apologetically. "Sorry."

Robin smiled faintly. "It's okay."

Ted turned to Victoria. "Victoria, I know this must be..."

Victoria cut him off, "Yeah. It kind of is."

Barney leaned in, a satisfied grin on his face. "Wow, Ted, you were right. You shouldn't have told that story. But you did earn yourself the right to the end of mine. We fast-forward eight years into the future."

Marshall's eyes widened. "Wait, eight years, that's, that's this year."

Barney nodded. "Marshall, not only is it this year, it's tonight."

The room fell silent as Barney began his tale, the group hanging on his every word.

Not so Very Long Ago

Barney stood nervously outside a familiar door. He took a deep breath and knocked. The door opened to reveal Shannon, her eyes widening in surprise. "Barney?"

Barney managed a weak smile. "Hi, Shannon."

She looked puzzled. "What are you doing here?"

Barney took another deep breath. "Just listen. When you left me for that guy Greg, it changed me. Now I'm this. I know this is crazy. It's just, you were once such a big part of my life. And it just seemed insane that you didn't know who I am now. So here I am."

She then shared her own story. She and Greg had dated for a while before splitting up. But the real kicker? Shannon was now a mom. She had a little boy named Max.

Present

Barney was stunned. "That's crazy. That could have been my kid. But instead, what do I have? My whole life is some money in the bank, some suits in my closet, and a string of one-night stands."

Lily leaned forward, her voice gentle. "Hey. Come on. I mean, just because her life went one way and yours went another, it doesn't make your life any worse."

Barney's eyes gleamed with a mix of emotions. "My life rocks! Money, suits, and sex. These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in some tiny apartment changing some brat's poopy diapers. But instead, I'm out in the world being awesome 24-7, 365! You let me dodge a bullet, Big Guy. Plus, here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life. After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her."

Lily looked skeptical. "Nope."

Barney insisted, "Yeah."

Lily shook her head. "Nope."

EJ followed, "I don't believe it."

Barney persisted, "Yeah."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Don't buy it. You're making it up. You're just trying to cover the fact that you actually had a profound moment of doubt about yourself and... Oh, my God."

Barney smirked, pulling out his phone. "Video's pretty good on this phone, huh?"

The video showed Shannon's voice, unmistakable. "Oh, Barney!"

Lily recoiled. "Ew, gross. Just stop it."

Barney stood up, basking in his own glory. "Ladies, gentlemen... Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the re-return. I finally nailed Shannon! Told her I'd call her tomorrow. Yeah, right. And I rediscovered just how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!"

EJ shook his head, chuckling. "I think Barney just won game night."