The bathroom floor is cold. Maddox's hands are freezing, but her cheek, which is in direct contact with the tile, is taking the brunt of it. For a few moments she doesn't dare look at Izzie, afraid of her reaction, afraid to look into her eyes and not know what to say to her to cure such grief, but she looks up only to find that Izzie is staring at a fixed point in the room, her emotionless face, and Maddox thinks that's even worse than if she were crying.

"I don't know what to say to you," Maddox confesses to her after minutes of silence, and Izzie looks at her for the first time.

"I don't know what to say to me either," Izzie whispers back. "When Dylan died... When the bomb went off... How did you feel? When he died, did you feel—"

"What?"

"Like you were moving in slow motion."

"No," Maddox murmurs. "He was there, and then he wasn't. Like when you blink. I didn't have the time to process anything."

"I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. Like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and I just wanna go back to when things were normal. When I wasn't poor Izzie laying on the bathroom floor and her prom dress with her and a dead fiance. But I am. So I can't. And I'm— just stuck. And there's all this pressure, 'cause everyone's hovering around me, waiting for me to do something, or say something, or yell or cry some more, and I'm happy to play my part. I'm happy to say I'm fine and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't— I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be this person, I don't— I don't know who this person is."

"Izzie," Maddox murmurs, her voice cracking and her vision blurred with tears again.

"How did this happen? How did we end up here? Why am I alone? Where's Denny?"

"You're not alone, Iz," Maddox takes her hand, and Izzie squeezes so hard that even Maddox feels comforted. "You're allowed to feel like this. You don't have to pretend, you don't have to make us feel comfortable. You're allowed and encouraged to go through this, through grief. No one will blame you for feeling sad. You should be sad. You should let yourself be sad. I know you wanna go back, and I wish I could, too. But it will take time. It will take time, a lot of strenght and you will have us here. Each and every one of us. We love you, we're here for you, and you're not alone," The brunette leaves a kiss on the back of her hand, sniffling through her nose. "I will be outside if you need me. I'll make some food for you in case you feel hungry later, okay?"

When Maddox gets up she takes one last look at her, trying to find a way to take away all the pain she's feeling, but is met only with a cold, empty image of feeling. Maddox closes the door softly, and when she does she leans back against it, breathing in a breath of air as if that will solve everything. She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, aware that her eyes must be red. At these kinds of times she wishes she were much less empathetic, because she feels Izzie's pain as if it were her own, and she has enough of her own.

The kitchen is busier than usual. Before leaving, Meredith has left several sandwiches prepared, claiming they will be celebrating shiva for Denny. Callie pours herself a glass of wine she has just opened while putting away the bags of food she has brought, and Maddox thinks that whatever is in those bags will be more useful than the sandwiches Meredith has made. The girl hears a noise coming from the hallway, so she assumes that Cristina, who was upstairs with Izzie earlier and who she's taken over from, will be watching TV. Meredith has gone to the hospital, but has sworn she'll be right back to check on Izzie.

"This sucks," Callie says, raising her glass to her lips. Maddox just watches her, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. She suddenly misses that the countertop is full of Izzie's cookies and cakes.

"It does."

"How is she?" Callie asks, leaning against the furniture.

"As bad as expected," Maddox huffs, picking up one of the sandwiches and popping it into her mouth. Callie looks at her, as if she wants to say something, and suddenly remembers what the trauma resident witnessed the night before. "Oh," she says simply.

"Don't worry, I won't bring up that you and Addison were.... Never mind," Callie murmurs, "I'm not that kind of person."

Maddox nods, suddenly feeling guilty. "Okay. Thanks. I'm not that kind of person either. You know, the marriage wrecker. I don't know what happened."

Callie scoffs. "You can't say that. Like that's the worst thing that happened yesterday."

Maddox turns around, frowning. "What did you just say?" Callie's eyes widen, falling on her mistake. "What do you mean that wasn't the worst thing that happened yesterday? Callie," Maddox says, menacingly.

"It's just that I thought you already knew. You know, since you and Meredith seem attached by the hip most of the time. And from the look on your face, I just screwed up."

"I assume Meredith and Derek had sex last night. How do you know that?"

"Turns out I was the one who caught everyone red-handed last night," Callie composes a grimace on her face, and Maddox lets out a shaky laugh. "For what it's worth, their marriage has seemed over for a while now. I'm not going to talk about Derek and Meredith because I don't know them that well, but I think I know you, and if she was kissing you it's because she has feelings for you. I say that because you seem sorry, and I don't know if it's because you feel bad about the whole cheating thing or because you don't feel that way about her."

"I feel bad about everything. I always feel bad about everything. Derek not knowing, Denny dying, Addison kissing me because whatever," Maddox whispers. "Everything is a mess and I'm in the middle of it."

"Look, I'm not the person you go to for relationship advice, but you could talk to Derek. It's not like he's going to hate you. I mean, he's done worse this time. And no one can control who we do things with. But talk to Addison first. She'll have the answers you want."

"Okay," Maddox nods, but feels her pulse suddenly quicken. "Okay, prep me."

"What?" Callie frowns.

"I've spent much of my life surrounded by medical stuff. Now med-talk is the only way I can function. Prep me," Maddox repeats.

"Okay. Worst-case or best-case scenario first?"

"Worst."

"I don't know why I kissed you. I was weak and confused and you were there," Callie deadpans.

"Okay," Maddox's voice quivers. "Better now."

"I kissed you because I like you. I'm confused, yes, but I kissed you because I wanted to, and I want us to talk about how we feel about this, because I want it to happen again. Which one did you like better?"

"Considering the first one is basically her kicking my heart's ass, I prefer the second one. Okay," Maddox nods to herself. "I'll talk to her. Just not today."

"Maddox!" Callie scolds her.

"Hey, what did I miss?" asks Maddox once she meets up with the other interns. She's just finishing getting her white coat on properly when Bailey comes out of the patient's room and gives her a long look. "I was taking care of something. It won't happen again, Dr. Bailey," Maddox stretches her lips into a smile until Bailey rolls her eyes and turns away. "I still can't mention Izzie's name, can I?" she asks in a whisper to the two girls.

"You're right," Meredith replies back. "You didn't miss anything important. Just a guy who has a tumor and it makes him tell the truth, bad or not."

"Damn," Maddox mutters under her breath.

"I'm proud of you all. You make me proud. You all reflect well on me. Grey, if you think you can keep your clothes on long enough to follow the labs, I'd appreciate it. Karev, cover the pit," Bailey begins.

Alex looks shocked but compliant. "The pit? I'm out of GYN?"

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd is sick," Bailey replies, which sets off alarm bells in Maddox's head. Is she really sick or is this an excuse not to talk to her? Whatever it is, Maddox embraces either option, getting out of having the talk. "You can cover up the pit or you can— You can tell me whose damn panties are on the board. This is a hospital," Bailey looks beside herself, and judging by the look on Cristina's face and what Maddox knows about Meredith, the panties are the latter's. "People, we do serious work here. We save lives. Oh, is there something funny? Whose are these? Yeah, I know it's one of yours. It's always one of mine. Always," Bailey's intimidating gaze closes in on the three girls, and Maddox, even though she knows they're not hers, dodges the gaze, intimidated. "So tell me, which one of you left your damn drawers on my surgery floor?"

"Oh, no. Did I leave my underwear lying around again? I'm so sorry, Bailey," Callie steps forward, downplaying it, probably looking at the girls' nervous faces. "It's, uh, my fault," she says, pocketing them and walking away, but glancing at the three girls.

Bailey is dumbfounded with her mouth hanging open and, aware that she can't say anything to Callie because she's also a resident and therefore not their boss, turns around to look at her three interns. "Oh, no, don't look at me like that," she says upon seeing Cristina's shrug. "It's always one of you. Karev, Easton, cover the pit with Dr. Torres."

Maddox hesitates for a few moments before obeying Bailey. She runs over to Alex, who has already left for the ER, and sees that Callie is already in yellow scrubs. "What the hell did you do?" Maddox mutters near her as the resident knots her back. "From what you told me this morning, those aren't yours!"

"Your friend looked like she might have crapped her pants if no one spoke up," Callie murmurs back, patting her to indicate she was ready. "Besides, Bailey can't torture me. I'm her equal."

"But that's not your fault. It's not yours. Let her be responsible for her actions."

Callie raises her eyebrows. "Yeah? And are you saying that because you've finally noticed how Meredith avoids all her problems, or because you're a little angry that she slept with Derek and might have hurt your little Addison?"

Maddox frowns, recoiling instinctively at Callie's hurtful tone. "I was saying that because you don't deserve to go down for something you didn't do. Do what you want, but drop it."

"What are you whispering about and why can't I listen?" Alex says with a sly grin.

"Karev, go away," Callie growls. Alex rolls his eyes and goes outside to wait for the ambulance. "Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you."

"But, what you said before—" Maddox protests.

"I know what I said," Callie says in a dry tone of voice. "But she's not here today, is she? You're in the ER today, Easton. Focus on that, will you?"

"Long fucking day," Maddox mutters as she takes off her OR cap. She's been sleep deprived for quite a few days and has an irregular sleep cycle, but the adrenaline of going into surgery always outweighs the fatigue. She washes her hands and splashes cold water over her face to clear her mind, and a pair of hands gently massages her shoulders.

"Indeed," Alex says behind her. "What do you say we change and have a drink or two at Joe's? Let's celebrate that he survived," the boy nods to the unconscious teenage boy on the surgical table. Maddox composes a grimace as she remembers the huge branch he's had removed.

"Please," Maddox smiles. "I'll definitely drink to that. Hey, I want to ask you something," Maddox exits the scrub room, and Alex follows her into the locker room. "You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like it. I'm just curious."

"Okay," Alex nods.

"Why are you being like this with me? I mean, not that I'm complaining," Maddox clarifies. "But it seems like I'm the only one you're a decent guy with. You can be an asshole to everyone else, and with me you're a softie. Don't tell me you have a heart underneath it all," Maddox scoffs.

Alex scoffs, but smiles anyway. "I'll pass."

"What, you're not answering, is it because you want to sleep with me?"

Alex laughs. "Whatever lets you sleep at night. I'll let you wonder."

"Okay, okay," Maddox smiles, buttoning her jacket. "We're friends, right?"

"I mean, I'd say so."

"Sure. And friends tell each other things. One friend tells each other and the other listens intently and doesn't judge."

The boy rolls his eyes. "Is this about me and Izzie? Because I told you it's okay. What we had is gone, no hard feelings. Yeah, she left me for Denny Duquette, but guess who lives? Me, not the corpse," Alex mutters, opening the door to Joe's with a slightly sour face. Maddox stares at him for a while, saying nothing, then blinks. "You weren't talking about me and Izzie."

"I wasn't talking about you and Izzie," Maddox nods, surprised. "But now that you mention it, are you sure you're handling it right? She may have fallen in love with Denny, but you're someone special in her life, and she'll need you there, at least as a friend. Do you think you can do it?"

Alex purses his lips, thoughtfully, and Maddox realizes it's a really characteristic gesture on him. She puts a hand on his knee and Alex looks at her. "I'll be there when she needs me. I've already told you I don't hold a grudge. It's over, and it's better that way. I can do whatever I want, be with whomever I want," Alex takes a swig of his beer and gives Maddox a sidelong glance. "Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Remember when we were sitting here days ago and I told you about my little crush?" Alex nods, a sly smile on his lips. "Yeah, well, it's not so little anymore. There's been, uh, a... kiss," the boy almost chokes on his beer again, and Maddox pats him past it. "Why are you always so surprised, is that so hard to believe?"

"What, no, of course not. It's just that it's impressive. You've grown so much since I saw you the first day. You know, all nervous, having an appendicitis and being a puppy. And now you're pursuing McHot. I have to say I'm impressed."

"The thing is, she's still married. And I don't know why she kissed me. I mean, not that I'm complaining, but it's hard to believe that she actually did it, and not because I just happened to be there. I don't know," Maddox runs her hands over her face, wearily.

"Well, what does she say?"

"Yeah, that... we have a situation. We haven't talked about it. Or about anything. The truth is, I'm avoiding meeting with her. I don't know what to say, I don't know what I'm going to face. It's all so frustrating."

Alex laughs and averts his gaze back. "Well, maybe this would be a good time to tell you she's here right now," Maddox's eyes go wide and she turns around. "No, no, don't turn around. She's talking to Bailey, and judging by the look on Bailey's face, Addison is drunk as fuck. I thought she called in sick."

"I thought so too," Maddox mutters. "What if she's drinking because she wants to forget what happened? What if this is her way of dealing with things and I don't know what I'm doing?"

"Dude," Alex says. "Stop it. She kissed you, okay? Talk about it, at least. You don't know what she's going to say. Maybe she's nervous about what you'll say to her. Stop wondering and start walking. I'm drinking your beer," Alex forces her to her feet and pushes her slightly to the side of the bar where Addison and Bailey, who looks bored out of her mind, are sitting.

Joe greets her with a smile, as if he's grateful to see her, and as Addison is eating what looks like her fourth cupcake, Bailey vocalizes something she doesn't quite make out, covering her lips with her hand. "Having a good night?" Maddox smiles awkwardly.

"I've decided I'm going to get really fat," Addison says suddenly, eating another muffin. "Just until I come up with another plan. I'll eat all these muffins and then I'll get really, gloriously fat," Maddox looks at her, wondering what's going through her head, and Bailey closes her eyes, wearily. "It's over. I'm talking about the last third of my life. Over a pair of panties and a bad tux," Addison laughs dryly. "I'm desirable, Amanda."

Maddox snorts at the misnomer, but the look on the resident's face is enough to make her purse her lips and pretend nothing happened. "Miranda."

"Right," Addison nods, and Maddox fidgets when she looks at her. "I'm desirable, right? Anyway, I don't need me to tell you how wildly attractive I am. Wildly attractive!" The redhead yells.

"Easton," Bailey calls after her.

"Yes?"

"Do you have your car with you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Have you been drinking tonight?"

"Uh, not a drop of alcohol in my system, ma'am. Yet."

"Yeah, forget it. Take Dr. Montgomery home. She's out of her mind and I don't need that tonight. I just wanted a drink in peace."

"But, Dr. Bailey—"

"Did I stutter? She's your attending and your boss. You're denying her a safe ride home?" Bailey raises her eyebrows, and Maddox knows she's screwed.

"No. Of course not, Dr. Bailey," Maddox glances at Alex, who tosses her the jacket and a mocking look accompanied by obscene gestures as he chuckles slyly. "Come on, Dr. Montgomery."

"Don't call me that," Addison protests weakly, letting Maddox lift her off the stool. "I'm Addison. I'm still Addison, right?"

"Of course," Maddox assures her quietly. "I can't call you Addison in front of Bailey, can I? The car's right here, do you need anything before you get in? I'd hate you if you threw up in it," Addison has her eyes closed as the gentle night breeze hits her face and ruffles her hair. "I have a bottle of water somewhere. Drink before you go in."

"I don't want anything else," Addison complains. "I want more muffins. Stevens has a good hand with the baking."

"Izzie's a good baker. I'll tell her to bake you more if you drink. Addison? Please."

The redhead relents. "All right. Just because you say my name like that," Maddox reddens a little, but lets it go and waits for Addison to give her a few gulps of water to help her into the passenger seat and buckle her in. "You smell nice."

Maddox looks at her, given the proximity, and laughs. "I must smell like an operating room. I changed out of my scrubs ten minutes before you could smell me," Maddox smiles. "Today was a rough day. Alex and I scrubbed in on an operation where a teenager had a tree stuck in him. Literally, the branch was sticking out of his skin," Maddox looks to the right, waiting for a reply, but Addison simply looks at her. "You weren't there today. I thought Dr. Bailey said you were sick."

"Yeah, sick of everything," Addison snorts. "Today felt like a drinking day. I signed the divorce papers yesterday, so today seemed like a good day to drink."

Something inside the brunette stirs, but she doesn't know if it's guilt or rejection. "I'm sorry, Addison. It's going to be okay. Better times will come, I'm sure."

"I don't want to talk about it. It seems like all I talk about these days. I just want to go home. I don't know the way home."

"It's all right, Addison. You sent me the name of the hotel before," Maddox averts her gaze for a moment, focusing it on the doctor. She's wearing a silly fishing hat, a long, baggy, dirty sweatshirt, and looks so tired —or so drunk— that her eyes close comically. "You called her Amanda," Maddox laughs ruefully.

"I did not."

"Yes, you did. You called the Miranda Bailey, Amanda. She'll never look at you the same way again," the brunette laughs again. "At least you're a fun drunk, not a violent drunk. Come on, we're here."

"I could be a violent drunk," Addison says.

"I could take you any time. I'm stronger than I look, and you're too drunk to hold your fist," Maddox smiles at her. "Give me your card. I'll open for you," Addison silently obeys, but no matter how hard she digs in her purse she can't come up with the room card. Maddox sighs and reaches into her purse. "Okay, I'll do it. Let's just stay outside for a minute, okay? You need some fresh air."

"Yeah," Addison mumbles with her eyes closed. "I'm sorry I ruined your night. You and Karev looked like you were having a good time."

"Don't worry about it. There are plenty of nights."

"I'm sorry I ruined prom, too," and there it is. Maddox stares at her, leaning against the hotel wall, and all the pent-up disappointment closes in on her. "I don't know what's happened to me. I know I'm drunk and there's no way to believe it, but I've been thinking about what to say to you, and the moment I have you in front of me, I don't know what to say. It was out of line, and I'm sorry."

"You didn't ruin anything," Maddox confesses in a whisper. "It's okay, I get it. It won't happen again."

Addison opens her eyes, and her bright blue eyes bore into Maddox's, dark green in the dark. "Oh. I said I'm sorry I did it, but for you. I never asked, I did it without knowing what you were thinking. But I'm not sorry I did it. I would do it again."

Maddox stammers, and her heart hammers against her chest. She doesn't know what to say, because it's the last situation she could picture in her head. "You're drunk, Addison. Let's get you upstairs."

The brunette takes Addison by the arm gently, and silently thanks her for not objecting. She doesn't know how to look her in the face after what she's said. She doesn't know if she should be jumping for joy because her feelings are reciprocated or she should feel bad about everything she's been through. Despite having the words she so desperately craved, Maddox knows she was more prepared for rejection than reciprocation, as sad as that sounds in her head.

"Why don't you say anything?"

"You should probably take the silly hat off. And your sweater has a coffee stain. Get in the shower."

"I didn't mean that," Addison protests, slurring. The alcohol still shows on her tongue and it's clear how slurred her speech is. "I meant about what I just said. Why won't you say anything?"

"Because I'm scared that you won't feel the same. I know you're telling me now, but you're drunk, you just got out of your marriage and you're my boss."

"Kiss me," Addison says simply.

"What?"

"If you feel it, kiss me. If you don't feel anything, I'll promise I'll stop bothering you."

Maddox takes a step physically, but the rest of what happens makes her feel so light that she doesn't know how to associate it with anything concrete. She captures Addison's lips with her own, and the woman emits a sound of satisfaction. The redhead's legs crash against the end of the bed, causing her to fall onto it, and Maddox leans over her, avoiding dropping her full weight on the doctor, pushing her hair away from her face but not separating her lips. Her hand slides across the bare skin of Addison's hip, and she shudders as she feels the cool contact with the warmth of her body but doesn't resist. Maddox pulls away from her slowly, watching as Addison's lips remain ajar, waiting to receive another kiss, but the brunette smiles enigmatically.

"Now shower. No offense, but you stink. And it will be better for your body."

"Yes, ma'am," Addison murmurs, taking her hat off as Maddox has recommended.

"I'll wait here."

Maddox drops onto the bed only when she starts to hear the shower water running, and she has to bite her cheeks to keep a goofy grin from playing across her lips. Still, the short squeal she lets out is unavoidable, and she holds her hands to her head to make herself believe that this is really happening. She's glad, so she decides to forgive Alex via text message.

Hey, you dickhead. I hope you're having fun. Thanks for the push, by the way.

A beep sounds shortly after, and Alex Karev's name appears on your screen. If you're having/had/are going to have sex, please save the details. By the way, I just did.

Have sex, Alex clarifies, and Maddox composes a grimace on her face.

I did not need to know that. And no, I'm not doing anything like that. I'm just thanking you for being a good friend.

Oh, am I? Look who's a softie now, is the last message she gets from Alex until she hears the water stop running. Maddox smiles, because things seem to be going well at last, and dawdles on the phone until Addison emerges from the bathroom, her hair wet and her robe leaving little to the imagination.

"You waited," Addison comments.

Maddox lifts her head and smiles, "I told you I would. Feeling better?"

"Much better. What are you doing?"

"Playing snake. I have to eat the freaking apple without biting my own tail. Which reminds me that I'm hungry."

"We can order something. I need to have something other than cupcakes," Addison smiles and picks up the phone and the menu. "Room service? Yes, hello."

"What do they have on the menu?" Maddox whispers behind her, trying to glance at the paper. "God, I'd need to save for a month to recover financially from this meal."

"I'll have two filet mignon and two waters, please. Yeah. Yes, charge it on my room, please. Okay, thanks."

"What did you do?" Maddox panicks. "I'll straight up eat cereal from the box for a month if I have that."

"It's on me. Consider it a thank you gift for bringing me home."

Maddox smiles sideways, raising her eyebrows. "Oh, that's what you're gonna do now? Buy me with gifts, food and— Okay, wow," she interrupts herself when Addison slides the bathrobe over her shoulder, exposing her skin, still wet. "I'll have to pay back somehow, won't I?"

"Yes, I guess so," Addison smiles, playing along, but squeals when Maddox pulls her to her by the fabric of the bathrobe and brings their lips together again.

Somehow, Maddox ends up over Addison's body again, and wastes no time in directing her lips to her neck after kissing her lips for a long time. She feels like she's floating, like she's died and that's what's waiting for her in heaven, because she can't believe that's happening to her. Addison's skin is hot against hers, barely wet already, and it feels like she's touching fire every time she runs her fingertips over the redhead's bare skin, who gasps at the younger woman's touch.

Maddox removes her sweatshirt, aware that the temperature is rising in the room, and is left in a baggy T-shirt, which Addison grabs and pulls her back to her, bringing their lips together again. The pace is frantic, and honestly Addison feels like she'll lose her temper if Maddox isn't the one to draw the line. She's never been with a woman, never felt what she's feeling at this very moment, but Maddox is so warm and activates her senses so much that she wouldn't mind giving herself over to the situation in every sense of the word.

"Oh, God," Addison murmurs as Maddox's hands travel down her body, ready to discover every part Addison will let her. Her hands slip down the redhead's back, who arches it to allow the girl access.

Maddox pauses momentarily, however, her lips nearing Addison's ear, gently biting the lobe and causing Addison to lose her sanity, rolling her eyes. "Quédate quieta," Maddox murmurs, and if Addison was hot, she's burning now.

A few knocks on the door, timid at first, are the stumbling block to Maddox continuing her task. Addison grunts loudly, making sure the person on the other side is aware of what they've just ruined, and gets up to put on her bathrobe.

"Open the door, you nasty," Maddox winks at her and puts the sweatshirt back on.

Addison curses room service silently as she watches the girl fix her hair.