╰┈➤ ❝ [ Like daylight, daylight ] ❞

THE HOSPITAL SMELLED LIKE ANTISEPTIC AND DISINFECTANT. Kim Ji-an didn't remember how she got there—only the flashing lights, loud sirens, and the gut wrenching sight of Lee Su-ho and Han Seo-jun being loaded into an ambulance. Now, Kim Ji-an sat in the waiting room, her hands trembling in her lap, and the tears continued streaming down her face. Her chest hurt and no matter how many deep breaths she took nothing calmed her down. Nothing felt real. Nothing was okay.

There was this terrible feeling—an unwavering anxiety that stuck to her bones and didn't want to detach. It made her heart race, her hands shake like her world was only minutes from falling apart. The fear of losing them. Losing them like they lost Se-yeon. So many stuff happened after his death. Her breakup with Su-ho, her fake relationship with Seo-jun, moving on from Su-ho despite the feelings they still had for each other, and lastly Seo-jun breaking her trust yet again. There's not many people Ji-an can say she relies on. Her parents lack of love has taught her that.

The ups and downs between her and Lee Su-ho never watered down her love for him and viceversa. Romantic feelings or not, Kim Ji-an will always care about Su-ho and want what is best for him. He will always be an important person in her life as many of her happiest moments were with him and it makes her grateful for him. She just wants to see him happy and the thought of him leaving this world without healing and finding his peace kills her. She needs him just as much as he needs her and losing him would be like losing the biggest and happiest version of herself.

Then there's Han Seojun. Ji-an thought she could rely on him again—that trusting him was the path she needed to follow to heal the wounds in her he himself caused, but things didn't work out like that. For the past week, she's been trying to make herself believe she can erase him from her heart. That he doesn't make her feel things, that she doesn't care anymore because he hurt her. But sitting here, hands trembling, heart clenching, she knew she had never had the choice to begin with.

During the photoshoot there was an inner battle within her. Her heart wanted to do something that her mind didn't allow and despite her struggles she thought with time she would have it under control.

But she ran after him. And now she's regretting not having gone after him sooner. Because despite the hurt, the disappointment, and all the anger——she doesn't want to lose him. Witnessing the accident not only made her realize how her feelings aren't something she can just run away from, but also how in the blink of an eye someone can be gone from your life forever.

Life is not forgiving and it's not fair. It takes away without a second thought and no matter how angry and hurt Ji-an feels she doesn't want to think about waking up in a world where Han Seo-jun isn't there. And it's scary because her feelings for him aren't something she has completely processed or accepted, but they're so overwhelming so powerful that it makes her uncertain about being able to act like she hates him as well as she did before.

"Are you a family member of Han Seo-jun or Lee Su-ho?" The unfamiliar voice pulled Ji-an away from her inner turmoil. Immediately she raised to her feet, shaky legs barely holding her weight as she turned to the doctor.

"I'm a close friend of them." Her voice was unsteady and so she cleared her throat. "Please how are they? Are they okay?"

"Lee Su-ho sustained a fracture in his leg, so he'll need to wear a cast for a while. As for Han Seo-jun, he fractured his arm, which is why it's in a cast. His other arm wasn't broken, but he strained it badly, so we put it in a sling to support the healing process. Both of them will need time to recover, but thankfully, their injuries aren't life-threatening."

Ji-an let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and a weight was lifted off her chest. They were hurt but they were okay. "Can I see them?"

"Of course," the doctor replied as he flipped through the clipboard. "Just a heads-up—they're sharing a room. The hospital is at full capacity today, so we had to place them together."

"They're sharing?" Her voice was full of surprise.

The doctor nodded. "I want to keep a close eye on them and make sure everything is alright. They need a lot of rest and assistance, so it'll be a few days before they can get discharged. If they do request to be placed in separate rooms we can try to find a way but chances are it won't be able to happen until there's more rooms available. Also the hospital should have already let their family members know about the situation in case you haven't."

Ji-an let his words sink in. "Thank you, doctor."

He smiled and told her the room number before excusing himself. Ji-an blinked a few times and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. She had to be strong. As she made her way to their room and tried to compose herself her thoughts lingered on the fact they were sharing a room. She doubted they'll last long before one of them requests a change in room. Though a part of her dies finds the situation a little amusing. It was like the world just constantly wanted to push them back together. She hoped something good could at least come out of this terrible experience.

When Kim Ji-an reached the room she pushed open the door slowly, her breath catching at the sight before her. Lee Su-ho and Han Seo-jun lay in their hospital beds, looking pale and worn out but alive. Su-ho's leg was wrapped in a cast, elevated slightly, while Seo-jun's arm was immobilized, one in a cast and the other supported by a sling. Seeing them like this—bruised, bandaged—made her stomach twist. Relief flooded through her, but it wasn't enough to stop the lingering tremble in her hands.

They were okay. They were okay.

She swallowed hard, stepping inside. Her breathing was still shaky and the brightness inside the room did little to soothe her lingering nerves. The beeping of the machines was nerve racking and she felt overwhelmed. Their eyes were tired as they looked at her and she just wanted to run to them and hold them. Tell them how relieved she is and how scared she felt. But her mouth felt dry and her tears left a mark of the energy they drained.

"You guys really scared me," she said, her voice quieter than she intended. Her tear stained eyes flickered between them, never settling on Han Seo-jun for too long. "I thought—I thought I was going to lose you."

The words felt heavy leaving her tongue. Saying it out loud made everything more real. She was so close to losing them. The fear was so consuming, reminding her how she would've lost a part of her past, of her self, the memories with both of them. If she lost them, what would be left?

Lee Su-ho saw how affected she was and he wanted to do something but there wasn't much support he could offer in the state he was in. So he offered a small smile but it came out more as grimace. "We're fine, Ji-an."

Ji-an let out a shaky breath, crossing her arms to keep herself together. She narrowed her eyes at them. "I swear, if you ever get hit by a car again, I'm leaving you both on the pavement next time."

Her voice slightly cracked at the end of the sentence, despite her attempt to sound lighthearted. The three of them knew it was a lie.

Seo-jun just let out a dry laugh. "Comforting."

A frown took over her face as she looked at them. "How did you both managed to get hit by a car at the same time?" She had a mix of curiosity and worry.

"Our luck is just that bad."

Kim Ji-an sighed feeling like her legs would give out on her with all the stress. She moved and took a seat positioned beside Su-ho's bed. She stared at his casted leg which was elevated over a pillow. The blanket was wrinkled, it didn't look like it was carefully placed. She didn't like that. With a shaky hand she leaned forward and began smoothing out his blanket. Ji-an felt their eyes on her but she didn't look up yet. She needed a moment to recollect her thoughts. Seeing them laying there all bruised and tired felt horrible. It took a toll on her.

Han Seo-jun stared from the other side of the room wishing she could at least look at him for more than two seconds without averting her eyes like it pained her to look at him. He noticed the stiffness in her movements almost as if she didn't know what to do with herself. Seeing how her attention was mostly directed to Su-ho made him wonder about what would've happened if he wasn't sharing a room with him. Would she had come to see him?

She included him when she expressed her worry but it might have been her way of being somewhat polite. Seo-jun looked away not caring about whatever Su-ho was now saying to Ji-an. He closed his eyes and a part of him knew he was wrong. She wouldn't do that. The tear stains in her eyes and cheeks said everything he needed to know. There's also the fact that she indeed ran after him when he abruptly left the shooting. He wondered if that could mean something. Maybe she didn't hate him completely but it still pained his heart to se ever so cold and distant.

Kim Ji-an stood up from the chair giving Su-ho a small smile. "I'll get it for you." As she moved to leave, she stopped turning her attention to Seo-jun. "Your mom and sister should be here soon."

They stayed looking at one another for a moment, unspoken words between. Turning around, Ji-an left the room feeling Seo-jun's eyes on her. His jaw clenched as his gaze shifted to Su-ho, that familiar jealousy bubbling in his stomach as he realized she didn't even ask if he wanted anything before leaving. Su-ho, always so attentive, didn't miss the look on Seo-jun's face. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"No reason." His response was quick—an obvious lie. He knew Su-ho could see it but thankfully he didn't push it and instead he changed the subject.

"Do you think she knows about the song?"

Seo-jun sighed, "She already knows. We both heard it when it played in the radio."

Su-ho's gaze was steady not saying anything else. There wasn't much to say. They were now stuck together and had no other choice. Lee Su-ho tried to shift his position but the cast on his leg made it difficult. He let out a sound of discomfort wondering how he'll survive the next few weeks. A couple of minutes later, Seo-jun's mother and his sister walked in, matching expressions of worry on their faces. Mi-hyang asked him how he felt and Su-ho just gave the usual answer I'm okay. It becomes second nature to formulate the same sentence when you're used to bottling your feelings.

Lee Su-ho watched as Mi-hyang's eyes watered, her gaze on Seo-jun's arms. Her hand carefully brushed the hair off his forehead, gently stroking his cheek as she expressed how grateful she is for him being well and alive. His sister Go-woon had a frown and though Seo-jun told them he wasn't in a lot of pain she kept asking him if he was okay before trying to hide her worry with a playful comment. Su-ho observed everything, and a deep longing build in his chest the longer he stared. 

He wished he could have that. To have the love of his family and feel the warmth of his mother caring for him, peppering his face with kisses and love. Her fingers delicately running through his hair as she told him everything would be okay. But he didn't have that, so he just watched picturing in his head another world where he was the one in Seo-jun's place.

The door to their room opened as Kim Ji-an returned her hands full. She immediately noticed the presence of Seo-jun's family, and it didn't take her long to recognize the emotion in Su-ho's face. She retook her previous seat beside Su-ho's bed, placing the packet of crackers on Su-ho's lap and the water bottle on the table beside his bed.

He gave her a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiled back and as Su-ho was distracted opening the pack of crackers  Ji-an looked at Seo-jun. His mother and his a sister were around him, gushing and so attentive over him that they still hadn't noticed her presence. Ji-an's hands rested on her lap and out of Su-ho's sight. The grip on the other pack of crackers she brought tightened. His family was now with him. Acting like she had to tie her shoes, she hid the pack of crackers under Su-ho's bed before anyone could see it. Seo-jun was being well taken care off.

Finally, Go-woon noticed Ji-an and her eyes light up. "Ji-an! How long have you been here?"

Ji-an smiled feeling embarrassed. "I was just getting something for Su-ho. I've been here at the hospital since they were brought in."

"Well, thank you. It's relieving to know someone was here for them. If we had known earlier we would've been here sooner." Mi-hyang said and Ji-an didn't miss the subtle gaze the woman sent Seo-jun's way.

Last time Ji-an had seen her, back when Seo-jun had gotten sick, Mi-hyang still thought her and Seo-jun were together. Now that she knows they broke up things felt a bit awkward. At least neither she or Go-woon knew the whole truth about the relationship being fake because Ji-an isn't sure if she'll be able to look at them in the eyes again.

Ji-an gave them an apologetic look. "I would've let you know but my head was all over the place."

"Don't worry. What's important is that both Han Seo-jun and Lee Su-ho are okay." Mi-hyang gave them warm smiles and turned back to Seo-jun.

Ji-an's attention shifted back to Su-ho who was eating the crackers like they were the best thing he has tasted in a long time. She chuckled. "Are they that good?"

He shrugged. "They're okay."

"Sure." She shook her head. "How are you feeling? And don't you lie to me."

Su-ho avoided her eyes and exhaled through his nose. "I don't know," he admitted, leaning back against the pillows. "I feel...off. Like I'm here, but not really. It's weird"

Ji-an brushed a piece of hair away from her face and moved closer to him. She took his hand, slightly squeezing it. "You just went through a traumatic experience. You have every right to feel a bit lost or confused, so don't think it's weird, okay? I'm here for you."

Lee Su-ho nodded and this time he was able to give her a more genuine smile. She always knew how to make him feel better and a part of him wanted to tell her everything he felt. How for a moment after getting hit by that car instead of feeling pain there was a sense of peace in his body. He felt calm and for a moment the chatter in his head had disappeared. It was almost like he felt okay with facing death, with leaving this world. It makes him wonder if that's what Se-yeon wanted or if that's what felt in his last moments—Su-ho hopes he did. That he felt peace and no pain before leaving this world.

Seo-jun watched them, his body tensing when he saw Ji-an take Su-ho's hand and squeeze it. Irritation ran through his veins like an ugly poison. He hated the fact she wouldn't look at him. He hated the fact she was so indifferent. He hated the fact she got Su-ho something to eat and didn't even think about him. And lastly Seo-jun hated how openly she showed her care for Su-ho and completely ignored him.

Seo-jun knows he deserves this—is just a consequence of his actions. But it still hurts. He's tired of falling second to Su-ho—of wishing he could take his place to know what it feels like to have Ji-an's love at least once.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————

—Joy

Long time no see!

It's been a while I know. I like this chapter but I also wish I would've done a bit more. It's been a struggle to write it because I just had zero motivation and couldn't figure out how to write anything. But here I am. Lmk what you guys think. I love seeing your comments.

I really want to thank you guys for supporting this book and showing it unconditional love. The story reached 100k reads 🥳 and I'm still in disbelief. None of this would be possible without you guys and I want you to know that I'm so thankful for every single one of you. Thank you so so much. Really there's no words to describe it.

I hope I can continue uploading more chapters that are of your taste and that make you want to continue this book. 🥹

Thank you guys again and love you lots!!! <33333