╰┈➤ ❝ [ Like daylight, like daylight ] ❞

THE BUS RIDE BACK HOME WAS SUFFOCATING. Kim Ji-an stared out the window with bloodshot eyes, and the once beautiful scenery turning into an endless blur of greens and blues. Her chest felt hollow like someone had personally scooped everything out from inside, only leaving the shell behind. Lee Su-ho's voice kept echoing in her mind, repeating what Han Seo-jun once told him like a mantra. Lee Su-ho's face when she confronted them never left her mind either. He suffered all this time in silence—the panic attacks, the breakdowns, just fighting the unfair guilt placed upon him.

It made Ji-an's blood boil. Everything was haunting—a relentless reminder of how foolish she had been to trust Han Seo-jun again. Trust is meant to be earned, not given freely. At some point, Ji-an believed that Han Seo-jun had earned it. That despite the questions left unanswered, he deserved another chance. They were young and prone to make mistakes so she gave him the benefit of doubt. She allowed herself to be swept away by the version of him that was sweet and caring.

Fooled by the glimpses of the version of him that had been her best friend once. She allowed his thoughtful actions and warm gaze to make its way into her heart and make her question everything. Make her question when the line between friendship and romantic feelings had mixed.

His presence became a constant again. Unwittingly, his teasing antics and sweet gestures made her days better. The pain in her chest dulled into a deep devotion for the boy who made her feel new things. He helped her. He was there for her. He cheered her up——and he made her feel something just to leave her numb again.

Or so she told herself. That's what Kim Ji-an wanted, to not feel. She wanted to be able to say she saw his betrayal coming and that she wasn't affected by his actions yet again. That his words were just a wound she could place a bandaid on and move on with her day. But the unbearable agony in her heart was relentless—uncontrollable, and it angered her as much as it hurt her. She'd let him pull her close, let herself believe that maybe, this time, it would be different. And now, she was paying the price. How could she let him get this close to her heart?

In the days that followed, Ji-an avoided Han Seo-jun like the plague. Her friends stood by her, making sure Seo-jun's attempts to talk to her never got far. Now, the day of her schedule photoshoot with Seo-jun had arrived. She had spent days agonizing over whether to go. The last thing she wanted was to stand next to him and pretend his presence didn't send her thoughts spiraling. But she really needed the extra money and so she found herself making her way to the agency. Still, a part of her clung to the hope Seo-jun had taken the hint and wouldn't show up.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. When Ji-an walked into the studio Seo-jun was already there. The sound of her footsteps made him turn and he looked visibly surprised yet relived. It made Ji-an want to walk away just to not grant him the satisfaction.

Keeping her expression as neutral as she could, Ji-an made her way to the stylists not sparing Seo-jun another glance. The makeup was simple, just strategic additions to enhance her features. The outfit they prepared for her consisted of a short skirt with a light colored sweater. It was a lot simpler than the concept of the past shooting. Ji-an made her way back to the set still refusing to acknowledge Seo-jun. His eyes burned into her, daring her to look, but she ignored it. This was her job and she needed the money. That's all.

The photographer was more than happy to see them again and wasted no time into starting the shooting. "Let's get to work, shall we? Last time you both did a splendid job. So I want you to do the same thing again, be comfortable, trust each other and just lean into that intense—romantic tension." He explained as he adjusted the camera.

Ji-an almost laughed at the irony. Trust each other. She stayed glued to her spot despite them receiving the green light to begin. Seo-jun shifted on his feet like he was about to make a move and touch her but stopped himself. Ji-an still didn't acknowledge his presence and Seo-jun could only stand there silently wondering what to do. He was hoping that at least her showing up would mean she was somewhat ready to face him, but oh was he wrong. The past days he's been trying to talk to her, not to explain himself, but to properly apologize.

There were no words he could use to justify his actions. He knows that using Ji-an to hurt Lee Su-ho wasn't fair on his part. Seo-jun's never been good at expressing himself, more than often saying things that should've never left his mouth, and after Se-yeon passed away this worsened. He knew it wasn't an excuse, but how could he not be angry when Lee Su-ho could've done something to save Se-Yeon? How could he not blame him when all he did was stand back while Se-yeon suffered?

Seo-jun stared at Ji-an, noticing her cold expression. His heart cracked at her indifference, this time clueless as to how he could mend things between them again. He messed up, he knows it. No matter how carefully he tried to erase the past mistakes, the leftover graphite and sharp edges of his pencil, still managed to stain and scribble over her heart.

The photographer raised his eyebrows at their behavior. "Okay, I'll guide you through some poses first. Hang Seo-jun stand behind Kim Ji-an and wrap your arms around her waist."

Hesitantly, Seo-jun moved closer and embraced her. His warmth was suffocating, intoxicating Ji-an's mind and heart. She forced herself to stay still as his arms securely pressed against her waist, his fingers brushing the fabric of her shirt. A shiver ran through her, the music playing on the background doing nothing to calm her down, and she hated herself for it.

"Closer." The photographer instructed.

Seo-jun obeyed, his front now completely pressing against her back. Ji-an's breath hitched. It was infuriating how easily her body reacted to his touch, despite every rational part of her screaming at her to push him away. Having him so close made her question if the money was even worth it.

"Kim Ji-an, relax. You're too stiff."

She bit the inside of her cheek, to stop the words that wanted to come out of her mouth. How was she supposed to relax when the person holding her was the same one who shattered what little trust she had left?

Still, the professional side of her wanted this photoshoot to come out somewhat decent. So she took a shaky breath, trying to melt away the rigidness in her body. It only lasted about two seconds because then she felt Seo-jun's breathing brush over her temple as he looked down at her. Her mind screamed at her to pull away, her body tensing and her heart aching—beating like it'll jump out of her chest and lay right there for everyone to see. The photographer told her to look up at Seo-jun, his words a distant voice in her brain.

Seo-jun's hold on her waist loosened. Ji-an wanted to see his face, but her eyes refused to move away from the camera. It was difficult because annoyingly so she wanted to know if his eyes held the same reflection they had in their first photoshoot. A sweet reflection that made her feel like she was important. But her mind was quick to remind her it didn't matter. His soft eyes, his warm touch, his gentle smile, his sweet words, his lips just a breath away from hers meant nothing under the weight of her betrayed heart.

The camera was soon lowered, as the photographer let out a sigh. "Something is off." He frowned. "There's no chemistry. It feels disconnected."

Seo-jun slowly let go, and Ji-an forced herself to not long for his warmth. Her fingers fiddled with each other, feeling small under the photographer's gaze and the pressure placed upon them to do a good job. She should've just lied and not show up to the shooting. It was obvious this wouldn't work out. Things between her and Han Seo-jun never did.

"Let's take a quick break. Kim Ji-an, Han Seo-jun, talk it out if you need to. We need to get this right." With one last look, he walked away to give them space.

Ji-an stiffened. Talking it out was the last thing she wanted to do. Quite frankly, she wasn't ready to face Seo-jun's sad excuses for himself. Just the thought of him trying to downplay what he did to Su-ho spiked her anger again. And this wasn't the time or place for them to fall into an argument.

Kim Ji-an turned on her heel, ready to walk away, but Seo-jun's hand gently caught her wrist. "Sweetheart, please."

The nickname made her freeze, betraying her and causing that ugly twisting feeling in her stomach to form and remind her of how easily anything he did affected her. Ji-an felt weirdly humiliated at the fact it felt like he wanted to purposely get under her skin and make her break. He barely had done anything, but it felt like he was succeeding. She looked up, for the first time since that night, she made eye contact with him. "I told you not to call me that."

Seo-jun faltered, like it visibly hurt him to hear her say that. He looked into her eyes wishing to find something—anything that could let him in, but her walls were up again. At his silence, Ji-an shook her head and yanked her hand away, "And don't touch me."

Then she walked away, and found herself staring at the mirror inside the changing room. She supported herself on the vanity and took a deep inhale. There were two options. She could push through, do the shooting with Seo-jun, fighting everything in her to not let her heart be weak——or she could get the easy route and let her manager know she couldn't do it and leave. The latter was far more tempting, but Ji-an was never one to give up. She didn't want to show Seo-jun he had any control over her.

So she stared at her reflection with determination. She had to do this, just try her best to cooperate and follow the instructions as much as she could. She smoothed her expression, straightened her shoulders, and stepped back onto the set. The flashes of the camera resumed instantly, and Ji-an focused on the rhythm of the shoot—each pose, each movement—forcing herself to be as professional as she could. The photographer kept encouraging them, still searching for that raw chemistry he saw before, but no amount of effort brought it back.

Kim Ji-an managed to block out Han Seo-jun's presence despite being right there with him. Her mind drifted to other things to stay distracted from the closeness of Seo-jun's body beside hers. Lips stretching into a smile, Ji-an looked at the camera. She leaned against Seo-jun doing the pose she was instructed. The song on the radio changed, the softer melody echoing around the studio and making Ji-an's smile falter.

Beside her, Seo-jun tensed, forgetting about the pose he was supposed to be doing. The familiar sound of Se-yeon's song played on the speakers, but it wasn't his rich voice that gave life to the lyrics but somebody else's.

Seo-jun looked around, his heart pounding against his chest wildly. "Is this a joke?"

Nobody answered his question and the song continued echoing off the walls and into their ears almost hauntingly. A lump formed on Ji-an's throat. The already ache in her chest turned into a twisting pain inside her heart, like old vines resuscitating only to strangle the remaining life. Ji-an looked at Seo-jun, he was scowling but behind that mask she could see the heaviness in his eyes. Long seconds passed, and before Ji-an could process what was happening, Seo-jun stormed out of the studio.

"Han Seo-jun! Han Seo-jun, where are you going?!" The photographer and managers shouted after him but it was too late. He was gone.

Ji-an blocked out whatever they continued saying, her running mind unable to focus on any of it. Se-yeon's song kept playing, and Ji-an could only stare at the spot Seo-jun used to be with a torn heart. She was at war with her mind and emotions. One told her to let him be. He left and he should deal with it himself. She was in pain because of him and so she shouldn't help Seo-jun.

But the other part of herself said the opposite. Se-yeon was their friend and his death was still a recent wound in their hearts. Ji-an knows Seo-jun is overwhelmed and when he's like that he doesn't tend to be rational. She should help him.

She shouldn't help him.

She should make sure he's fine.

He will be fine.

Ji-an ran a hand through her hair pulling at the strands in frustration. With a tired sigh, she excused herself and left the studio. She was just going to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. It wasn't a big deal. This was just an act of politeness, nothing more. That's what Ji-an kept repeating in her mind as she ran out of the building. Seo-jun hadn't left long ago, he shouldn't have gone too far. Ignoring the ache on her feet caused by running with heels, she made her way through the sidewalk, dodging other civilians as she tried to spot Seo-jun.

There was no point in trying to fool herself. Despite Han Seo-jun's mistakes, despite everything he'd done to hurt her, despite her pain and anger, she still ran after him without thinking. That terrified her. Just days ago, she admitted to herself—to her friends—that she might have feelings for him. But this wasn't just some passing emotion or lingering attraction. This was something more. Deeper. Stronger. And no matter how much she wished she could turn it off, she couldn't.

Her breathing was heavy, and as she neared the bus station, the sharp screech of tires made her freeze.

Then a cry tore from her throat.

On the road just ahead—Seo-jun and Su-ho lay sprawled on the pavement.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————

—Joy

Hii! Sorry for the short chapter. I just wanted to end it on a cliffhanger hehehe.

The drama is getting better and better. And Ji-an can't catch a break. But all for a good outcome.

You guys got the second modeling scene but at what cost? 😭

A lot of this stuff was supposed to happen a lot sooner but I've found myself having to add more chapters and space things out differently because I want to make this book as best as possible and just give you guys something you can love and find yourselves rereading. At least that you can say you've returned to it more than once.

Also mini spoiler/warning, this is the last time you'll see the word sweetheart in a while. Ji-an was very clear about not wanting to hear it and it's better for Seo-jun if he doesn't ruin things more than he already has. Soooo good luck 💞