╰┈➤ ❝ [ I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight  ] ❞

PEACE AND CONTENT, TWO THINGS KIM JI-AN HADN'T FELT IN A LONG TIME. Two months had passed since the day Ji-an sat in Han Seo-jun's room, giving him the snacks and medicine she had bought for him. Nothing and yet a lot had changed since then. Han Seo-jun, Lee Su-ho, Chin-sun——hell even the rocky relationship she had with her brother Ji-hun had improved. It was as if she had been trying to fit a puzzle piece in the wrong place for the longest time and had only now found its designed spot.

Except the whole puzzle wasn't complete. Sometimes, if you're unlucky enough, there's a missing part. You look, you search, but it's nowhere to be found. Stealing away the satisfaction of staring at that completed image.

For Kim Ji-an that missing piece was, Han Seo-jun. Things changed over the course of those two months. Ji-an and Seo-jun grew closer. None of the two mentioned it, but it was there close to their hearts. Everything came gradually. Slowly, they found themselves hanging out more despite the fake relationship being long gone. Mr. Han continued pairing them for assignments as he knew Seo-jun actually did work when he was with the girl. Then the floor at the modeling agency where Kim Ji-an was assigned to was changed. This resulted in Ji-an and Seo-jun crossing paths more often.

Sometimes, he'd drive her home and Ji-an would silently, guiltily enjoy the ride. She used to look at his mode of transportation with skepticism, knowing it was dangerous and his mother also disapproved of it. But involuntarily she grew a liking to it. Other times, Seo-jun walked her home and they would talk about their day or just walk in silence. In those specific moments, accompanied by the buzzing streets around them small but meaningful details couldn't be ignored by Ji-an. The genuineness with which Seo-jun laughed, the softness in his gaze, and the care that he showed towards her, slowly but surely crushed down the walls Ji-an had built.

Finally, she felt like it was okay to relay on him again. At least to some extent. Her trust was as strong as it has ever been in years. The realization frightened her. After all, Han Seo-jun was indeed that missing piece. Things were starting to set into place, but there was those lingering questions deep in the back of her mind.

Why did he push her away in the past? What made him want to get rid of her so much to cause the things he said leave his mouth?

The uncertainty, gnawed at her, leaving a bitter aftertaste. It made her question if trusting him again would end in another heartbreak, which sometimes made her hesitate to fully let Seo-jun back in. As frustrating as it was initially, Ji-an tried to push it away, instead trying to focus on a more positive perspective, hoping that one day he'll have the answers to those questions. Until then, Han Seo-jun remained the missing piece, lingering in the edges of her life, waiting for the day the puzzle might finally come together.

Then there was Lee Su-ho.

What was he in Kim Ji-an's life? It was a something she often found herself wondering these days. Years ago, she would've had the answer without any doubts. He was her best friend and the love of her life, that's what she would've responded. Now, he was still her best friend, but he was not the person she would spend the rest of her life with, and he was not the love of her life. This was something that took her time to understand and accept. It was a painful journey. Moving on. At the beginning, she'll foolishly think she had moved on. That nothing could affect her anymore. Destiny then would challenge her belief and bring her back to reality, making the simplest of actions suddenly crack her act.

It ranged from something Su-ho might've said that would cause a distant memory to resurface, leaving an ache in her heart filled with melancholy. Then it could be a song, an object, or movie, and she would find herself tearing up. It was hard, so she followed Soo-ah's advice and tried new hobbies. First she tried baking, as she and Seo-jun used to do it years ago, but she quickly knew baking wasn't for her as she lacked the patience for it or the ability. Kim Ji-an always liked doodling in class, so she tried out sharpening her art skills, experimenting with painting and using different techniques.

This seemed to do the trick and she found herself quite enjoying the pass time. The smooth sensation of the paint on her fingers showed her it was okay to mess up. The brush gliding against the canvas was satisfying to look at, starting with a blank surface and ending with a finish product she sometimes couldn't name, but her heart understood. It helped as a distraction and also have some alone time for herself to sort out her feelings. Just her and the music playing on her headphones.

Like it happened with Han Seo-jun, Ji-an didn't know the exact moment when things shifted. Because even though she continued to spend time with Lee Su-ho, at school or at tutoring sessions, his presence little by little didn't affect her the same way it used to.

"Here." Lee Su-ho said, placing down Ji-an's iced coffee on top of the table. Ji-an stared in surprise, she hadn't noticed he had already arrived at the place, let alone was buying something for her.

"Oh, you didn't have to." She smiled, taking a sip of the beverage, letting the coldness refresh her dried throat. "Thank you."

The boy nodded, giving her a small smile. He took a seat beside her, in the process his thigh accidentally brushed against Ji-an's. Instead of being hyperaware of the closeness in which they were sitting, Ji-an remained unfazed. In comparison to Su-ho's now rigid posture, her body language stayed relaxed as she happily drank her iced coffee, scrolling through her phone. Months ago, she would've blushed, a tingling sensation taking over her body at having the boy so close. Now, it barely registered, just another fleeting moment of their friendship.

Su-ho observed her, a lump forming on his throat. He looked down at his closed notebook, his heart sinking to his stomach at the realization. He knew it would eventually happen, but it didn't mean it wouldn't hurt any less. Her change in appearance, the new hobby, even her scent had changed. The sweet aroma that a long time ago became her signature scent was now fruitier, fresher, different. It wasn't that he didn't want her to move on; it was more about his own struggle to let go. All he had were those moments. The memories of their shared love. He clung onto them desperately, being pieces of his past happiness, his only happiness. Was it wrong wanting to stay there?

Again, the previous question came back. What was Lee Su-ho to Kim Ji-an?

She can say he is her soulmate. Lee Su-ho is someone Ji-an has always admired. He was forced to mature at an early age after his mother's death. Ji-an was always there to see him fall and stand up again. He was her best friend, someone she confided with and trusted with her life. Currently, the friendship between them isn't on the same level it used to be. Glimpses of tension, still lingering in the air. Lee Su-ho was Ji-an's first love. Her first boyfriend and first kiss. The first guy who made her feel butterflies and emotions she didn't know existed. She cherished those memories with all her heart and would never forget it.

Soulmates don't have to be lovers, and Ji-an and Su-ho are proof of that. No matter the break up, the tears, there was an undeniable connection and understanding between them. They'll always have each others back, no matter what. Kim Ji-an would continue to be Su-ho's anchor. The shoulder to rely on without judgment. And Lee Su-ho will continue to be Ji-an's safe place. Comforting, familiar, and supportive.

  ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷

"So, did you finish redecorating your room?" Han Seo-jun asked, his hands inside the front pocket of his jeans. Today it was one of those days where they met after work, walking together back to their homes.

At Seo-jun's question, Ji-an visibly brightened, an enthusiastic smile on her lips as she looked up at him. "Yes! Actually, there's one more thing I want to add but I need to buy more canvases. Here, let me show you." 

Reaching for her phone, Ji-an went into her photo gallery in search for the pictures she took the day before of her room. The girl had grown bored of the way her room was arranged so she took matters into her own hands and changed it. Along with it adding new decorations to match her personality and new interests.

Ji-an passed her phone to Seo-jun so he could see the pictures. The boy hovered a hand over the screen to remove the sun glare and get a better look at the pictures. It was a beautiful day, the sunset creating an orange and yellowish blend over the sky.

"Your bed used to be on the middle of the room, right?" He asked, pointing at the spot the bed was now situated.

"Yeah, I decided to move it all the way to the opposite wall. That way the room has more space." She zoomed into another part of the picture, leaning closer towards Seo-jun to see the screen better. "My vanity used to be here, but I want all the space close to the window to be empty, that way when I paint I can use that spot and have the natural light from outside."

Seo-jun saw how the smile never faltered from Ji-an's lips as she spoke. He loved seeing her happy and talking about the things she enjoyed. Her aura would completely shift and her eyes would shine brighter than any star he had seen. Seo-jun turned his attention back to the phone, as they stopped walking. The traffic light was green so they had to wait for the pedestrian crossing signal to indicate they could cross the road. Neither paid any mind to the sounds of the cars passing in front of them, the two engrossed in their little world.

"You have posters on the walls now?" He scoffed, turning to Ji-an. "You used to make fun of me for having posters in my room."

Ji-an rolled her eyes. The pedestrian crossing signal turned green, letting them know it was okay to cross. They looked both ways before crossing the road, just in case a maniac decided to ignore the clear red light. They continued walking while Ji-an said, "This is different. I didn't overdo it with the posters. You on the other hand made the wall look like a collage."

"No, I didn't." Seo-jun argued, but he knew she was right.

"Yes, you did." She narrowed her eyes, not taking them off of him as he handed the phone back to her. "You could've at least made the colors match. Instead it looked like a unicorn had vomited all over the walls."

A sound mixed of disbelief and amusement left Seo-jun's lips. He wanted to continue the banter, having grown used to their constant bickering and finding comfort in it. The rockiness after he had ruined their friendship, lasted more than he would've liked to. After that particular day at school when, in his opinion, he should've earned more than just the slap from Ji-an, the girl refused to acknowledge his presence or even look his way. They wouldn't speak a word to each other. Lee Su-ho being stuck in the middle, always tried to amend things, but his attempts fell in deaf ears.

It was a year later, that Seo-jun and Ji-an got paired to seat together in class. They had no other choice but to interact—if their constant arguing and petty fights could be considered that. The longer time went by, their conversations turned more civil but the layers of heavy tension were still present. Only this time they were covered by layers of sarcasm and bickering to hide in their rooted feelings and unresolved conflict. When Ji-an returned, things were still the same. Then the fake relationship started, and they kept up with the same behavior. Ji-an scared of confronting his past betrayal, didn't push for explanations. Seo-jun scared of revealing the truth, put up a barrier to hide his feelings with arrogance and sarcastic remarks.

This past two months, Han Seo-jun could slowly feel a weight lifting off his chest. His heart swelled with happiness. He could see the way Ji-an began opening up to him, cracks forming in the walls she built around herself. Seo-jun knew the level their relationship was currently at was still not identical to how it used to be. Sometimes, he saw the way Ji-an pulled back, hesitating to be fully vulnerable around him. But it was progress. This only strengthened his hope, feeling like things between them would work out.

Despite his attempts at concealing his amusement, Ji-an's comment about his choice of posters made him laughed. Ji-an couldn't contain her giggles either as they laughed together at the old memory. "My room really was a mess."

Ji-an grinned, wiping the small tears that gathered in her eyes. Both of them walked around the corner, their laughter subsiding as they reached Ji-an's house, stopping in front of the gate. There was a comfortable silence between them.

"Thank you for walking me home." Her voice was soft as she looked up at the boy with a small smile. No matter the amount of times he did it, Ji-an still continued to thank the boy, not only because of simple manners but because she was genuinely thankful for his presence. She quite enjoyed his company, forgetting what it used to be like to have this small moments without all the drama.

Seo-jun nodded, his gaze tender. He reciprocated her smile, his response always the same. "Anytime, sweetheart."

They stood there, their smiles never faltering. Ji-an tightened the hold on her backpack strap, and Seo-jun shifted his weight. Both were unwilling to say goodbye. Once Han Seo-jun had realized he had a full chance to make Ji-an fall for him, his immediate thoughts were to make his feelings as clear as possible. To not lose the opportunity. Though, when he really thought about it, he stopped himself. He didn't want to overwhelm Ji-an. He knew she was doing her best to move on from Lee Su-ho. It was clear as day how much it hurt her, and also how much she wanted to close that chapter.

So for the past two months, he restrained the urges, but Han Seo-jun couldn't do it any longer. The more he was around Ji-an the harder it was to hide his feelings. He couldn't continue with it. Therefore, while staring at the small smile adorning her beautiful face, he decided he will stop holding back. If he felt like complimenting her, he will do it. If he felt like holding her hand, he will do it. All until it was okay to reveal his love for the girl. Seo-jun was really scared of getting rejected, he didn't want to confess too early and completely ruin all the progress they've made. So, he'll test the waters first, and then he'll decide when it was time to express everything he felt. Along with it, answering the questions Ji-an harbored.

A soft breeze passed by, and Ji-an's soft voice pulled him out from everything that was going inside his mind. "See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." Seo-jun nodded, still deep in thought. His voice was softer than usual. Breathy. "Tomorrow."

As Ji-an opened the gates, and stepped inside the house, she smiled to herself. It had been a while since she felt so at ease. Maybe it was because she loved routines or perhaps it was because she didn't like walking alone in the streets anymore. Whatever the reason was, those walks back home became something she enjoyed and looked forward to. Since the night of the party with Lee Su-ho, Seo-jun always managed to find a way to distract her and lift her mood. She didn't know how he did it, but it worked. And she was really grateful for that.

She let out a sigh, her smile faltering as she remembered again. Those questions were still there, buried deep in her mind. How much will she have to wait? When would he tell her the truth?

That day, months and months ago, when Lee Su-ho confronted her about her supposed relationship with Seo-jun, she had said truths as much as she had said lies. The girl didn't lie when she told Su-ho about never having hated Seo-jun. She did try, but she couldn't. Her hurt was far greater than any hate. Another thing she told Su-ho was that things between her and Seo-jun had been fixed, which was just a huge lie to get him to believe they were together. Because not even now that they've grown closer, things were completely fixed. Not until Han Seo-jun stopped being the missing piece to her puzzle.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————

—Joy

So a time skip. 🧍🏻‍♀️I hate when time skips happen in books and suddenly the characters are in love or completely changed their behaviors, cause I feel like I missed the best parts. So I had to make sure you guys didn't feel like a HUGE thing changed.

I want to explain the order of how things happened between Ji-an and Seo-jun in case someone else is confused. I don't blame you guys cause the flashbacks weren't shown in the order they happened, so it can be hard to remember.

Flashback in chapter 8, set in Christmas: Seo-jun realizes he's in love with Ji-an and decides it's best to push her away as she was already Su-ho's girlfriend. Also, remember this all happened years before Se-yeon's death.

Flashback in chapter 20, set days after new years: Seo-jun pushes Ji-an away.

Flashback in chapter 16, set days after the previous one: The aftermath of what happened between them where Ji-an slaps Seo-jun.

Now, that has been cleared out, I hope you guys are having a great day/night. Hehe

No memes this chapter. Sorry, my loves 😞🫶🏼