╰┈➤ ❝ [ It's brighter now, now. I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you ] ❞

DID KIM JI-AN MISS TWO DAYS OF SCHOOL JUST TO BE ABLE TO AVOID HAN SEO-JUN? Yes, she did. The girl was unsure whether she was ready to face him and then make up some lie about why they weren't together anymore to their noisy classmates. So the weekend came around quicker than expected, and it was finally the day of Lee Joo-heon's business party. The nerves she had since the moment she found out about it only intensified now that she was an hour away from it.

Instead of leaving her hair out like she normally would, she decided to make two french braids around the front of her head. Curling the rest, she styled it in a messy low bun, and wrapped the initial braids around it. She left out some strands to frame her face and with that she was done with the hair part. For the make up, she opted for a more simple look, not wanting to do too much with it. Following her usual routine, she did the basic makeup steps, and then she used some brown eyeshadow and topped it off with some gold shimmer and eyeliner. As the final step, she applied on her lips a nude shade of lipstick to match with her eyeshadow. 

The black dress she had chosen with the help of her friends, fitted her perfectly. It was long,  giving it an elegant look and the sleeves were off shouldered, so she made sure to wear a nice necklace to compliment with the amount of skin shown.

Kim Ji-an felt like she was being tortured as she had to seat the whole car ride listening to her parents overbearing instructions about how she and her brother had to behave. In any other case, she would've shared annoyed looks with Ji-hun, but she was still ignoring his presence after last time's incident. Thankfully, it didn't take long for the family to arrive at the hotel the party was being hosted at. Ji-an felt anxiety on her whole body, wondering how she'll be able to survive the next few hours.

The family got out of the car, and Ji-an watched her parents speak something to their driver. She sighed and looked back at the huge hotel in front of her, causing her to fiddle with the small black purse in her hands. Ji-hun noticed her fidgeting and leaned to her side to speak. "Are you nervous about seeing that other boyfriend of yours?"

Ji-an scowled and gave her brother a side glance. "Are you nervous about getting exposed in front of everyone?"

Her brother let out a heavy sigh. "I know I messed up really bad this time. I'm sorry, sis. I shouldn't have taken your money no matter the situation I got myself into." When the girl didn't say anything in response to the best apology he could offer, he added with a pat on her shoulder. "I'm sure, you'll be fine. You don't look as ugly as you usually do. That might help on some way. "

Scoffing, Ji-an finally turned her head to look at him. "And that's how you want me to forgive you? By calling me ugly?"

"What? You want me to call you pretty? That's not happening." He shook his head.

Their driver finally took off and their parents walked up to the siblings. "Let's go inside. We don't want to be late."

Inside Lee Joo-heon's hotel, the whole lobby was pretty full with important people. All members of different families, owners of companies, hotels, restaurants etc. Inside Ji-an placed her small purse on the bag stands, not feeling like holding it for the entire night.

With a wondering gaze, Ji-an looked around trying to spot Lee Su-ho. When she found him, she felt her heartbeat increase its palpitations as her eyes fell on him. Perfectly hugging his well built figure, was an all black suit. His dark hair that normally rested down on the front of his face was parted more to the side, giving a clear view of his forehead and face. There were some strands that had fallen forward, only making the look even better. A polite smile was on his lips, as he listened to the older woman in front of him talk.

Suddenly, his gaze shifted and fell on Ji-an, his lips parted a little as he took her in. Lee Su-ho's heart jumped at the sight of her. He found himself struggling to pay attention to what the woman standing across from him was saying, when all he could focus on was Kim Ji-an and how beautiful she looked. No matter how many times he had seen her wear different looks while modeling, she always managed to look more breathtaking than the time before that. It also wasn't often that Ji-an wore her hair up, but every time she did, Su-ho couldn't keep his eyes away from her.

The older woman in front of him seemed to take notice of his lack of attention, so she turned her head to see what he was staring at so intensely. A smile took place on her lips when she realized what was happening. She turned back to him. "The Kim family just arrived. Kim Ji-an looks beautiful doesn't she?"

Su-ho nodded, still unable to take his eyes away as if he was placed under a spell. The woman's smile got wider. "You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

This finally seemed to the trick as Su-ho moved his eyes back to the woman. "What?"

"Come on, I might be a bit old but I'm not completely blind. Anyone can see the way you're looking at her." She squeezed his shoulder in an encouraging manner. "Go talk to her. Tell her how beautiful you think she looks."

After a moment of hesitation, he decided to follow the woman's advice. He send a polite smile her way before walking away to approach Ji-an. But before he was able to get any closer, someone else beat him to it. Su-ho halted in his steps and moved on the opposite direction. Hoping to be a little more discreet about his staring.

"Hey, princess." Song Min-gi suddenly approached Ji-an. The girl smiled at him, taking notice of his new look and whole appearance. His hair was a lot shorter now and the once silver strands were now a light shade of pink. If Ji-an thought he used to stand out from the rest of the crowd when he had his silver hair, now he was a walking look at me sign with flashing lights. He was wearing a black and white suit which actually complimented his pink hair.

"Hey, Min-gi." She grinned and tilted her neck upwards to get a better look of his hair. "I see you're sporting a new look? Got tired of the silver?"

He chuckled smirking down at her. "You could say that." He placed his hands in the pocket of his suit trousers and leaned closer to her as if he was going to tell a secret. "I might have done it to piss my parents off. They wanted me to go back to my natural hair color so I did the complete opposite."

Ji-an giggled, it was nice to know she wasn't the only one with controlling parents. "I can imagine they were thrilled when they saw you."

Min-gi laughed at her comment, showing off his cute dimples. "Oh, super thrilled. So thrilled they were yelling at me and everything. Sadly, they seem to forget they have no control over what I do anymore."

Shaking her head, Ji-an said, trying to not ruin the mood. "At least the pink looks good on you. At this point, I think you can pull anything off."

A genuine smile took over his lips. "Thank you, princess." His eyes moved over her figure and nodded in approval. "I have to say, I chose the perfect nickname for you. You look just like royalty."

The girl blushed at the compliment. Nobody had ever said that to her. "Thank you, Min-gi."

"No need to thank me. I'm just saying the truth." He looked around, fighting the urge to grin in mild amusement, when his gaze fell on someone. Looking back down at her, his expression turned more serious just like the light hearted tone that was initially in his voice. "How have you been after the night at my house? Has Ji-hun bothered you? I made sure he regretted what he did to you."

Ji-an smiled at his display of concern. "I've been good. Ji-hun actually apologized to me when we first got here. He tried to the day after your party but I didn't let him." She sighed. "It's going to be hard for me to easily forgive him after what he did."

"I understand. Your brother might be my friend, but I'm not going to let him get away with that kind of stuff. Specially, if I know the person doesn't deserve it." Min-gi said, with all his honesty. His parents might not be the best people out there, but they did their best to raise him with good manners and to be smart with his decisions.

Ji-an's eyes shined with gratitude. "Thank you, I really mean it. I don't know what I would've done if Ji-hun had given my money to someone else that wasn't as kind as you are."

Min-gi dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand. "Like I said, no need to thank me, princess." He smirked at her, his eyes moving to something behind her once again. "I'm going to go find your brother. If I don't leave in the next few minutes someone might come here and kick me away himself. I'll see you around, princess. It's always nice to talk to you." He took her hand and just like last time, kissed the back of it with a gentle press of his lips to her skin.

Kim Ji-an pushed away the confusion caused by his words and smiled. "Me too."

Min-gi grinned in delight before he took his leave. With confident strides, he approached Lee Su-ho and once he got closer to him, he spoke, "You could at least try to not be so obvious about it." He stopped in front of the other boy. "I could sense your jealousy from a mile away."

"I never said I was trying to hide it, and I'm not jealous. I just want her to be okay." Su-ho responded, coolly. He really wasn't trying to be jealous but it was hard not to. He'll just have to get over it.

Min-gi raised his hands in innocence. "Sure, if you say so." He lowered his hands. "Listen, you have nothing to worry about. I won't lie to you, I do find Kim Ji-an incredibly attractive and she's very nice to be around too. I get why you fell in love with her, and in another circumstances, I might have even tried to pursue a relationship with her. But I know that whatever is going on between you guys hasn't ended and I'm not going to get in between that. I already have enough on my plate."

Su-ho's rigid body relaxed a bit. He's never been that close to Min-gi as the boy was around two years older than him and they never really got the opportunity to truly connect, only seeing each other here and there when their families had meetings. Nonetheless, Su-ho knew he was a good a guy and this just proved it again. "Thank you."

Min-hi nodded and followed Su-ho's gaze to where Ji-an was at. The two boys watched as she was stopped by a couple and engaged in a conversation. Min-gi looked at Su-ho. "I do have to say, if you want to make your move you better do it soon. Kim Ji-an is not a girl that goes easily unnoticed. She's smart, beautiful, and kind. Anyone, would want to date her, and I say that because I think you should keep an eye on your friend Han Seo-jun. He seemed very protective of her the day of my party."

Eyebrows furrowing, Su-ho shifted his full attention back to Min-gi. "Han Seo-jun was there?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure if you know, but that day Ji-hun stole some money from Ji-an, and they got into an argument. When I found them in one of my guest rooms, Han Seo-jun was already there with them. And after I gave Ji-an back her money, she left with him." Min-gi said.

"I didn't know that." Su-ho responded, the lines in his forehead increasing in worry at the news. He really hoped Ji-an was okay.

"Now, you know." Min-gi gave Su-ho a serious look. "I'm just telling you so you can think about it. You really want to completely let go of Ji-an? How long has it been since your break up? A year? Your time is running short, Lee Su-ho."

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷

Walking up to one of the tables full of appetizers and drinks, Kim Ji-an decided to grab a glass full of champagne. The girl didn't like alcohol but she could tolerate the taste of the bubbly champagne. Taking a sip, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, hoping the night could go faster. As long as she was spared from talking to other highly arrogant guests that only liked to criticize every minuscule thing she did, she was at least somewhat sure the night wouldn't be too bad. She already had to deal with an annoying couple asking personal questions that had no reason to be asked in the first place.

"Hey."

Turning around at the voice, her heart jumped at the sight of Lee Su-ho. He looked even better from up close. She tightened her grip on the champagne glass while she stared up at him. "Hi."

Su-ho smiled at her, happy to finally get some time to talk to her. He felt nervous which was a little unusual for him. "You look breathtaking."

Her eyes widened, not having expected him to compliment her off the bat. Lately, he's been a lot more expressive around her. Before it was impossible to even get a smile out of him, but now it seemed like no struggle for him. His love for her was no longer hidden underneath gazes and acts of jealousy but instead it was shown through his gentle smiles and small acts of service. Returning his smile with a shyer one, Ji-an responded, "Thank you. You look very handsome yourself."

Her words caused Su-ho's smile to widened, as he stared at her like she held all the stars in the universe. There weren't words to describe how beautiful she looked. He wanted to tell her so many things but he didn't know how to verbalize them. After what Min-gi told him, he couldn't help but worry about her well-being. "How have you been?"

"I've been-"

"There's my favorite couple!" Ji-an and Su-ho shared disappointed looks and turned to face Ji-an's mother along with some other woman Ji-an didn't know. Hae-won spoke to the woman while pointing a hand in Su-ho's direction. "This is Lee Su-ho, Lee Joo-heon's son, and my daughter's ex boyfriend. Although, I'm sure they'll get back together in no time." She said, sending a look towards Ji-an at the last sentence which Su-ho caught on to immediately.

The woman grinned, delighted with them as she observed. "I can see why you used to date. The two of you are the epitome of the perfect couple. You look like you came out right off a magazine."

The pair thanked the woman, both hoping inside that the moment could be cut short. Hae-woon used another of her fake smiles. "They really are, aren't they? It's sad they aren't together anymore. I know Ji-an did her best, but she had a big part on the break up." Her facial expressions convey sadness but neither Su-ho nor Ji-an could be fooled. She turned to Su-ho with the closest she could get to an apologetic tone. "I apologize if my daughter ever cause you to no longer feel comfortable with the relationship."

Kim Ji-an swallowed the lump on her throat, her gaze falling down to the glass of champagne in her hands. Her shoulders slumped and she pursed her lips. If her mother's goal was to make her feel uncomfortable then she was succeeding.

Really, Ji-an didn't want to make obvious how her mother's words were affecting her, but it was difficult and Su-ho could see right through her attempts. With a clenched jaw, Su-ho turned his attention to Ji-an's mother. "With all respect, Ji-an had nothing to do with the break up. That was a decision I made myself because of personal reasons. Ji-an also never made me feel uncomfortable. The only person who is making us uncomfortable with unnecessary comments it's you ma'am."

Ji-an lifted her head, looking up at Su-ho in shock but also gratefulness. The boy placed a hand on her waist, still addressing Hae-woon who was currently doing her best to remain calm despite the clear signs she was boiling with anger. "Now, if you could excuse us, we have some stuff to talk about in private."

Su-ho didn't wait for a response as he guided Ji-an away from the lobby of the hotel. He knew the place like the back of his hand so he knew the exact spot they could go to where no one would interrupt. He lead them through a long hallway before taking a turn to their right, which lead to a door to take them outside. Ji-an was a little confused, wondering why the boy was taking her outside until her eyes caught sight of all the greenery, beautiful colorful flowers, and the perfectly shaped bushes located in the garden of the hotel.

Ji-an grinned at the sight letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Thank you for stepping up for me back there. I don't think I would've been able to stay there any longer."

"I wasn't going to let her treat you like that in front of me." Su-ho responded and offered the girl a reassuring smile. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's actually really nice out here." She admired the view, enjoying the crisp breeze from outside. The air was filled with the smell of fresh cut grass, bringing her a sense of comfort as it reminded her of her childhood. The two of them sat on a bench located on the concrete path inside the garden. Their arms touched, as they sat side by side, their thighs occasionally brushing against the other.

Deep in thought, Ji-an's gaze fell down to the ground. Sooner or later, Lee Su-ho will know the truth about everything. She'll prefer it for him to find out through her, than someone else at school. The girl was nervous, she didn't know what his reaction would be. Just like the truth could fix everything, it could also ruin it. But Ji-an was tired of lying, so building up the courage she spoke. "I have to tell you something."

Su-ho's eyes fell on her side profile, wondering if she was going to tell him what he already knew. "Yeah? What is it?"

Kim Ji-an licked her lips and inhaled a shaky breath, the chill air from the night filling her lungs. With a hesitant voice, she said, "My relationship with Han Seo-jun is not real. Everything is fake. I came up with the idea of it so I could make you jealous." Her eyes were still settled on the ground, feeling a bit ashamed at the words she had uttered. The atmosphere following her confession was heavy and Ji-an felt tears build in her eyes as everything slowly but surely began catching up to her.

"I know." Su-ho's response was nothing but a shock to the girl. "I also had a feeling about it being a lie."

Finally, Ji-an turned to face him, surprise in her expression. If he already knew the thirty why hadn't he confronted her about it? "When did you find out?"

"The day at the mall." He revealed.

Her last bit of strength faltered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Su-ho." The tears fell down her face uncontrollably. Bad was too short of a word to describe how she was feeling.

She had been so overwhelmed with her own feelings and on top of that her parents pressuring her, that she didn't care about what she had to do to try and get Su-ho back. And that made her feel terrible. Not only did she drag Han Seo-jun into the mess and took advantage of the boys broken friendship to mess with Su-ho, but she also in the spur of the moment kissed Seo-jun to prove a point, in the process stealing his first kiss too. It went to the extent where she could barely recognize herself. Ji-an was tired. Exhausted of the lies. It was finally time to be honest and let out the feelings she had been harboring for the past months since she came back.

"I'm so stupid. I-I allowed my parents to pressure me, and I thought that if I could make you jealous you would want to get back with me." She let out a sob. "I know it sounds crazy but I really thought it would work. Since the moment I returned, all I've wanted was for you to want me back. To tell me you still have feelings for me because I've never stopped loving you. And it makes me go insane because you're always so collected, and you make it literally impossible to know what you're thinking, while on the other hand you're all that goes through my mind every day."

Ji-an could not stop crying and Su-ho's eyes were watering the longer she spoke. Gently, as if she was made of glass, he took her face in his hands, his thumb caressed her skin as he admired every detail of her face, hoping to engrave them into his memory and heart forever. With his fingers, he wiped some of her tears away, but it was nearly impossible with how fast they were flowing. He hated seeing her cry, specially if he was the cause of it. Su-ho knew he was making everything worse for himself, but he needed to get the words out before they consumed him alive.

"You're not stupid, okay? Don't say that." He licked his lips, and looked away from her, trying his hardest not to cry, but the lump on his throat was overpowering, and no matter how hard he tried, the tears won and fell down in crystalline waterfalls. The amount of love he held for her was indescribable, never in his life did he expect to feel such strong emotions for someone. He would do anything and everything for her, as long as she would be happy. "Your plan did work. I hated having to see you around Seo-jun. It made me realize how much I detest the idea of seeing you with someone else. And it also made me realize, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could move on from you, it's impossible."

Ji-an's heart jumped at his words. She searched his eyes, seeing pure sincerity and love, but there was also a hint of sadness and longing in them. That was the most emotion she had seen him direct towards her since their break up. "Does that mean?"

Su-ho nodded, giving her a soft teary smile. "I love you, Ji-an. I've never stopped loving you."

The girl choked up on a sob. Those were the words she's been wanting to hear for the longest time. She pressed her forehead against his. "I love you too, Su-ho. So much."

The tears running down Su-ho's face increased. He loved the moment just as much as he hated it. "Can you say it again? I need to hear it one last time."

"One last time?" She furrowed her eyebrows, pulling away to get a better look at him. "What do you mean?"

Su-ho's lips quivered. He was scared to let the words out. It would change everything and he would lose her forever. There was no going back after this. "We can't be together, my love." He was never the type to use terms of endearment, but it felt right to use them at the moment. It was the last time he'll have the opportunity to do so, and he was hoping it could also lessen the blow of his statement. The words were like a slap to both of their faces, regardless of how many pet names he used after. Su-ho hated doing this, but he knew it was for the best. "I can't give you what you deserve, Ji-an. I have my own issues that I don't want to drag you into. I already did it before and look how we ended. You deserve so much better."

Ji-an shook her head, refusing to believe him. "But, we love each other, I'll be there for you and we can make it work." The tears were blurring her vision but she couldn't make them stop. "Please, Su-ho, don't do this to me. Not again."

Su-ho continued wiping her tears even if they wouldn't stop falling. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you." He cried, his heart was breaking into pieces. "I'm not saying we need to completely stay away from each other, we can still be friends. If you're okay with it, of course." He frowned. "I can't live without you, Ji-an. We were best friends for longer than we dated. A life without you would not be complete."

Ji-an sniffed. "I can't live without you either." The two of them stared at each other, there
was so much love and so much pain between them, it was overwhelming.

Su-ho's eyes slowly trailed down to her lips, and Ji-an's did the same. They made eye contact, silently asking for permission. Hesitantly, the two began to slowly lean in until their lips met in the middle. It was a slow but passionate kiss, both pouring all the love they contained into it. As their lips molded together like pieces of a puzzle, their tears continued to fall leaving a salty taste in the tongues. When they pulled away, there were no need for more words as they came to a silent agreement. Ji-an wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him. Both cling to each other for dear life as they cried in each other arms. Enjoying the warmth the other's body provided.

Ji-an cried because no matter how much she tried, she wasn't able to get Su-ho back. The fake dating, the lies, the hope, all of it was in vain because after everything that happened, Su-ho didn't want to reform their relationship. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed until there was no more drops of blood. The most painful part was that he did love her back, he had never stopped and dislate this he was giving up on them.

Su-ho cried because he was letting go of the girl he deeply loved. Of his first love. He decided to not be selfish and instead choose what was best for her even if it hurt them both. Ji-an couldn't see it now but she was beginning to feel something for Han Seo-jun. Su-ho knew that Seo-jun's feelings towards her were pure, and despite his past actions, he never let Ji-an down during the time they were best friends. He always took care of her, made sure she was okay, but most importantly, he made her happy and knew her like the back of his hand. With time, Su-ho was more than sure Ji-an could fall for Seo-jun. It was just a matter of time.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————

—Joy

Major yapping ahead‼️‼️‼️

Be honest, did any of you expect this?? I tried my very best to make the previous chapter as misleading as I could lmao. I was evil laughing at all your reactions.

I gotta tell you that I've been looking forward to writing this chapter since the day I came up with the idea months ago. I hope it was as sad as it made me feel while writing it. Do you guys understand now why I defend Su-ho so much? 😞

Anyways, remember when I mentioned the AU? Basically, the whole ending of the book is chosen in this chapter. Ji-an is now starting to see Seo-jun differently, but she is still in love with Su-ho too. If Su-ho had decided to be selfish, he would've gotten back with her and after that Ji-an would not spend time with Seo-jun anymore so whatever feelings she was beginning to feel for him, would fade away as quick as they came. Also, the AU would not be a whole new book, it would be like 1 or 2 chapters where I'll explain how things went down and show some scenes of it.

This is what I meant with Su-ho and Ji-an needing to close the chapter of their relationship before Ji-an could fall for Seo-jun. As (hinted on the last chapter) that is the one thing stopping her from completely liking him. I think we can all agree that Su-ho and Ji-an are soulmates.

I made an edit to make y'all (and me) sadder. Enjoy!

PS: Su-ho and Ji-an are so Sad Beautiful Tragic by Taylor Swift coded. And also If This Is Love by Ruth B.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]