╰┈➤ ❝ [My love was as
cruel as the cities I lived in] ❞

KIM JI-AN SIGHED, gripping the handle of one of her suitcases, as she stood outside the place she used to call home. Two days ago her mother had called, informing her that her 'vacations' in Miami were over and that she needed to come back to Seoul. Before the girl could ask why now after almost a year of being away, her mother had already hung up the phone, leaving Ji-an no other choice but to obey.

It was almost a year after Se-yeon's death, almost a year after Su-ho broke up with her, and almost a year after her life had been turned upside down. Being back in Seoul brought her unwanted memories she had tried to bury deep inside, making her want to get on an airplane and never look back.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Kang
Chin-Sun, the housekeeper. Ji-an always told her everything ever since she was a little girl. The old lady was like another mother to Ji-an. "Ms Kim, do you want me to put your clothes back on the drawers or do I still leave everything in the suitcases?"

Shaking her head as a no, the girl replied, "Don't take anything out." She liked to organize everything her own way, so that way she wouldn't have to deal with things not being in the place she wanted to. Chin-Sun nodded before grabbing the suitcases, including the one Ji-an was holding minutes ago and walking inside the house. Ji-an closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and following after her.

"Your parents informed me you'll be going back to school tomorrow. They asked me to make sure your uniform is clean for your first day back."

Ji-an halted in her tracks, "Tomorrow?!"

Chin-Sun grimaced, knowing the poor girl would barely have any time to adjust back into her old life. "I'm sorry."

Shaking her head and pushing a piece of hair behind her ear, Ji-an asked, "It's not your fault." She crossed her arms. "Have you seen my parents or Ji-Hun?"

"Your parents are on a business trip and will arrive back in two days and your brother went out an hour before you got here, Ms Kim."

"Yeah, I figured." She stayed silent for a few seconds before sending Chin-Sun a pointed look. "And how many times do I have to tell you to please stop calling me Ms Kim? You know it makes me feel old. Plus, we've known each other for years, there's no point in being so formal." Ji-an scolded Chin-Sun, both of her hands placed on her hips.

Chin-Sun smiled in embarrassment. "Sorry, it's just, I haven't seen you in such a long time and I didn't know if you still wanted me to call you by your first name."

Playfully rolling her eyes, Ji-an pulled the shorter woman into a hug, letting go after a couple of seconds. "I've missed you so much. I have so many things to tell you about."

"I've missed you too, sweetie."

Ji-an's smile faltered, sighing in defeat. She glanced down at the suitcases before grabbing one of them. "I guess we should put this in my room."

Following Chin-Sun upstairs the two paused in front of the door of her bedroom. She wiped her sweating hands on her hoodie before gripping the doorknob. Ji-an knew the moment she opened that door, all the memories would come back.

"Ji-an, are you okay?" Chin-Sun's voice sounded muffle as if it was underwater. Ji-an slightly nodded, her sweaty hands turning the doorknob and opening the door. Everything looked the same, the walls were still a light shade of gray and her queen sized bed still had the same cover it had the day she left and her vanity was still in the same place. The only difference was that instead of things being a mess everything was neatly put in place.

Chin-Sun watched the girl with sad eyes, "If you need anything let me know." The woman didn't wait for an answer as she quickly closed the door, knowing the girl needed some time alone. Chin-Sun had known the girl long enough to know that Ji-an didn't enjoy being vulnerable in front of others.

Ji-an let go of the suitcase, walking over to her bed and staring at the neat uniform that laid on the mattress.

Tomorrow will be a long day.

Minutes later she sat in her vanity, looking at all the pictures placed in the mirror. Most of them were of her and Su-ho, while others were with Soo-ah and Soo-jin, as the three were always together. Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at the only picture she had with Se-yeon. In the photo, she was holding a guitar with Se-yeon sitting beside her.

The two held smiles of excitement, they had spend hours practicing for a talent show the girl was going to attend and after many tries and unwavering determination, the girl had successfully played the whole song without any mistakes. They had known each other for years and would always be there for each other if needed to. He was her friend, someone she looked up to and deeply admired. His death left behind shattered hearts and destroyed friendships. Friendships that were sworn to never be broken.

They hadn't been the closest, considering the boy was always more kept to himself, only spending time with Seo-jun and Su-ho, nonetheless she loved him like a brother.

However, her relationship with Seo-jun was, let's say, complicated. The two never got along, always bickering over the simplest things. Which most of the time drove Su-ho crazy, as he always ended up stuck in the middle of the two. But their relationship wasn't always like that.

What had drifted their friendship apart was still a mystery to Kim Ji-an because she could never recall doing something that could cause Seo-jun to no longer want to be associated with her. Words not meant were thrown around in a heated moment and their friendship took a shift. A friendship of many years broken.

Her eyes wandered over to a picture frame. With shaky hands she grabbed it, her fingers gracing over the glass that was now covered by a thin layer of dust. The tears she had been holding back went down her cheeks as she looked at the picture. In the photo her face as well as Su-ho's was covered with frosting as the two laughed at each other. A painful smile graced her lips. That was her favorite picture of them, it had been taken the same day he asked her to be his girlfriend.

One month after leaving Seoul, Ji-an had gathered the courage to send Suho a message. Even though the two didn't end on bad terms, the girl still couldn't stop the feeling of nervousness that followed after sending the text. It took the boy two weeks to respond, nonetheless Ji-an was happy to hear something from him.

But her happiness didn't last long because after a couple of weeks he stopped answering her calls and texts. At first she thought he just needed more time but as the months went by Ji-an got no call or text from him. She knew Su-ho was hurting and that he wasn't doing it on purpose but it still didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she placed the picture back on her vanity. Standing up, she grabbed her phone, quickly dialing Soo-ah's number. It took only two rings before the excited voice of Soo-ah broke the silence in her room. "Are you back?! Pleaseeeee say yes!"

Ji-an chuckled at her best friend's antics, "Yup, Are you coming to see me?"

"Obviously! What kind of question is that?"

Laughing, Ji-an replied, "I can't wait to see you."

"Me too. I'm putting on my shoes right now, I'll be there in ten minutes. Now, bye you're slowing me down." Ji-an heard keys before the call ended. She threw her phone on her bed before taking her school uniform, placing it back in her closet as she waited for her best friend to arrive.

Twelve minutes later, the door of her room snapped open, before a squealing Soo-ah tackled Ji-an into a hug. "Oh my god, you're here!" The two pulled away. "It's been so long."

"I'm sorry for staying away for so long. I just- I was scared of coming back, scared of facing my new reality." Ji-an admitted, staring at the ground in shame.

The short-haired girl gently grasped Ji-an's hands in hers, "You mean scared of facing
Su-ho."

Ji-an made eye contact with Soo-ah. "Yeah." Sighing, she continued. "My initial plan was to stay for some months, around three or five. However, the moment he stopped answering my calls and texts, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't come back and I know I was being selfish and I'm so sorry but I promise you I won't leave ever again."

Soo-ah held Ji-an's face, offering her a reassuring smile. "There's no need to apologize, I understand." Her hands moved down, squeezing her shoulders, before letting go. "So, changing the subject, what did you tell the modeling agency? Please don't say you quit."

Ji-an's silence was enough to answer her question. "You did!" Her eyes widened. "Why?!"

"I need time to adjust, right now I don't feel like worrying about being late to a photo shoot when I have bigger things to worry about." She admitted.

"Promise me once you settle down you'll start modeling again." Soo-ah raised her pinky, waiting for Ji-an to link their fingers together.

Grinning, the girl hooked her pinky with Soo-ah's "I promise."

The two spend the rest of their evening catching up on everything they missed, happy to be together again.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ——————

—-Joy

So this is the first chapter, I'm aware it was kind of boring but I promise the second one would be better. Im gonna try to finish the next chapter as soon as possible because I can't wait to get to the good stuff ;)

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