CHAPTER sixty|WE STAND FOR THOSE THAT CAN'T

Ruelle~ I get to love you
❝Whatever may come, your heart, I will choose, forever I'm yours, forever I do.❞

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NATURE WASN'T SOMETHING that I took for granted anymore. It was true that I couldn't deny the love that gripped my heart when I felt the wind blow my long hair away from my red hot face, or the content smell of oak instead of the hot humid air in the compound when I finally got to the surface, but that didn't mean that the sight of the top of Thirteen was entirely pleasant.

Yes, I looked at each lead on the trees or each particle of light that managed to make it's way thought the wall of bark and greenery with a rejuvenated wonder, but that didn't stop me from also seeing the horror underneath, or the death that somehow fermented in the time I had been underground- or amongst the Capitol walls. I expected the feeling of fresh life, and the reminder of what I had left behind.

What I didn't expect, was the chaos that littered the mud and trees around the compound when I finally saw the top.

It was early enough in the morning for the sun to have barely rose over the horizon, early enough for the sky to be the most perfect shade of orange and blue that I could ever remember seeing in the whole of Panem. It was magnificent- my breath that had been slowed to almost complacency became open with the fresh taste of actual sky and grass. Even as the rock spilled into the ground and the end of the trees leaned over the concrete it felt realer than anything else I had seen, it finally felt like something that couldn't be destroyed by Snow.

The reminder was short lived however when I noticed the wooden sticks that were planted into the nearby trees, surrounded by lily flowers and wooden figures. I was all alone in the morning light; nobody was awake enough to hear me sneak to the surface after the celebration that occured the day before, and the grey blanket that covered Finnick's large button up shirt was just enough to keep the cold chill from my shoulders. That however, didn't stop the chill that went down my spine as I saw the cross and the two mounds of dirt beside it.

As I got closer, the tears seaped into my eyes more and more.

Beside the smaller mound, the cross was filled with candles that had long blown out and lilies that would of grown just meters away from the young grave. There was a mockingjay pin beside the grave, and smooth rocks on the mound that wrote out the message that Finnick and Katniss had wanted to put on top of the empty mound of dirt.

Lillian Titan,
forever in our hearts.

It was only the third time visiting, and the first time alone, but the wave of sorrow was still enough to make a single breath hard to managed through the tears that fell. It was silent compared to other days, and the small inconsistent wave of water was less than the usual ocean that pooled from my blue eyes, but the guilt was still the same as I looked at the dirt and the larger grave beside it with a similar cross and mound of flowers.

Evelyn Eaton,
Mentor, victor, friend.

"Hi." I managed through the lump in my throat. It seemed silly to talk to them, but I had missed the two so much that there was no other way for me to get the feeling off of me. I felt guilty that they had missed my own wedding- so guilty that I made sure to pick a flower for both of them before I stood again.

"I miss you, more than I could ever put into words. I miss hearing your voice Eve, and I miss having someone that could tell me things and make me feel better when I don't know what to do. Alec never came back, and you were the last person that could of been a mother to me in a time like this- I needed you."

I paused to take a breath; my fingers intertwined with the fabric of Finnick's shirt so much that my nails could feel the individual fibers of it. Of course, for once the birds in the trees and the animals that lived around the graves had become silent- as if they were paying their own respect to the fallen- which made the irregularities of my heart hard to miss.

"But it's ok, because I still remember everything you taught me- and I use it every day. I got married Eve, it was the best day I've ever had and I can't help but think that it wouldn't of happened if you hadn't talked to me when you were alive. So thank you, because I think I'd still be a virgin if it wasn't for you." I finished off my words with a watery laugh that clogged up the emotion in my throat.

We had joked about the day when we would be equal, but she wasn't there when it finally came to life.

Once I wiped the bottom of my eyes, I glance over to where my sister's metaphorical body was left under the mud and took in another deep breath of air. The tears continued to fall, but as I went to speak they didn't seem to get in my way for more than a moment. I smiled at my progress, and then as a large arm suddenly hugged me from behind I found the strength to say her name.

"Lillian Titan, I miss you more than I ever thought I could."

Finnick had found me at the surface, with his blonde hair shaggy enough for me to be able to run my hands through it if I turned and watched him. Instead I let him rest his head on my shoulder (after he bent his knees to reach it) and felt his warmth consume me in the breeze and light of the real world.

"I thought of you yesturday, and what you would of look like in the pink dress that you loved so much- the one you tried on once when I came home from the Capitol. I could imagine you with your hair in a braid, and those silver shoes you got last year, as you walked down the aisle with me. We would of been the only Titan girl's left."

Finnick hugged me tighter when I paused once again, and I smiled as he pulled the shirt I had stolen from him back and kissed my shoulder.

"But I'm not a Titan anymore, which makes you the last Titan woman that anyone will remember and Lil, I am so proud that it's you. You mean everything to me and as much as I miss you, I know that you are happy now, and I know that you are better off wherever you went."

I clutched onto Finnick's hand so tightly that it felt like a rock. It was so powerful, the bond that kept the two of us tied together, and it was so tight that even as I went to take a step backwards, Finnick managed to take it with me without even speaking a syllable. We were completely connected, in every sense of the word, and he knew it too.

"I just wanted to tell you, because I know you two would of cared the most." I muttered, just before I turned to hug the man I married in the middle of the chaos. In the middle of the stone.

"I miss you both, but I'll look after her  for you now." Finnick spoke to the two as he held me against his chest. It made me want to love him impossibly more, it made the sadness and and guilt that drove me to the surface almost invisible as I touched him.

"We will look after each other; especially when we go to the Capitol Finnick."

After another moment I unwrapped myself from him so I could look up at his face, that looked down at me as if he understood what I was going to say next.

"I've been thinking Fish face. The rebellion isn't going to wait for me much longer- they have everything the need to finally go against the Capital, and Snow, and I don't want to be the one that stands in their way. We can't just-"

"I know." Finnick whispered to me as he rested his forehead against mine.

"We can't just stop now, and we can't take a break from it all and let other people get killed. I know Lorna, and I know that you want to be at the front of that fight instead of here, where you would be safe. It's ok, I want to be there too, and I want to be with you when you finally get the justice you need."

"So." I began as I glanced up towards his still slightly swollen lips. "We honeymoon in the Capitol- with guns and swords and Katniss."

Finnick smiled, and then he nodded before connecting his lips with mine. It was a new way of promising, a new and more intimate way for me to truly feel the promise that Finnick was going to give to me. It told me that we would go into the war together, and that we would stand throught the bloodshed of those around us; even if our friends are killed, or if we lose, we do it together.

We will stand against the war, and we will do it with our hands intertwined.

••••••••
1633 words.

I missed my power couple so much wow. They're going into the Capitol soon, which means this book, and this series, will soon be coming to a rather perfectly timed end right as my journey in secondary school is also ending. In three weeks my GCSE's are done, and then this book will end within the weeks after that and I don't know what to do with myself.

I love Lornick and their story, and I just hope you will all like the way it will end. As of last night, I finished the plan for this book, and that means the chapters to come (still quite a few) are all part of the endgame now.