❝ HEAVY IS THE CHEST THAT WEARS THE TITS OR WHATEVER ❞

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IN WHICH,
(L/N) (Y/N) is the last virgin standing and decides there's no better way to lose their virginity than to sign up to a hotline designed for sexual activities.

It goes exactly as you'd expect, horrible.

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❝ I HATE THIS FUCKING GROUPCHAT ❞

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LOADING YOUR MATCHES. . .

LOADED!

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「 WARNINGS 」

These warnings will be tagged at the top of the chapter as TW ; ( trigger ). Three stars (***) mark the start and end of content when shown incase anyone wants to skip a certain graphic event.

▬▬▬▬▬▬ CONTAINS:
Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, suicide, self harm, toxic relationships, verbal & physical abuse, childhood abuse, stalking, sexual abuse, graphic depictions of violence, mental health issues (panic attacks, breakdowns), domestic violence & bullying.

If any other triggers are brought up that aren't listed (due to this book being a work in progress) above they will STILL BE TAGGED — please do not force yourself to read a triggering scene.

「 DISCLAIMER 」

All characters are 18+! This follows the bnha plot loosely but I've added my own twists into it. Characters will have different backstories/personalities/friends in this book. This is written in lower case because I felt like it.

There is NO SMUT. I know the title and plot of this book may be misleading but there's 0% of it in this book. There is slightly suggestive scenes but nothing graphic. This is a gender neutral reader— reader will be addressed by they/them pronouns.

This is a republished version, please— please refrain from any spoilers for the rest of the book. Treat it like it's your first time reading again, I don't want anyone to be spoiled :)

other than that, stay safe and enjoy <33

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❝ ZERO | last virgin standing

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L/N Y/N
at school | 8:32am

"how does it feel to be the last virgin standing?"

you glance up from your homework that is due in two classes to lock eyes with your best friend who has half of his toast hanging out of his mouth disgustingly.

"why did you say that so dramatically?"

"because this is a dramatic topic."

"it's too early in the morning for you to say something stupid to me, kaito." you grumble before returning to your homework.

"you just don't like what i have to say," kaito whines through a mouthful of toast. you gag internally when crumbs from his mouth spew onto the table and near your books. "and besides, it's actually important."

you really were not in the mood for his dumbass questions this morning. you had detention later on today and you had homework due in an hour which you definitely won't get done. the last thing you needed was your blue-haired friend talking about your virginity which wasn't his business in the first place. and— and, it was only half eight in the morning.

meaning you aren't awake enough to deal with kaito's bullshit.

you scribble down a random answer, blatantly ignoring the childish male sitting across from you who begins to squirm at the lack of attention you're giving him.

"are you seriously ignoring me right now?"

no answer.

"(y/n), i need your undivided attention right now. this is a serious matter."

still no answer.

"your virginity is like an undiscovered species so we must talk and theorise about it."

someone please hit him over the head. you still don't reply and silently plead no one can hear your conversation.

"if it makes you feel less insecure and embarrassed about still having your virginity, then let me tell you something. i count getting my dick stuck in the vacuum when i was twelve the time i lost my virginity—"

now that got your attention.

you snap your head up from the physics book to give your friend a disgusted and horrified look. "kaito, what the fuck? how did you even get... it stuck up there?"

kaito gives you that famous, dashing smirk that many people find attractive minus you. there was nothing attractive about the blue-haired male anymore when you've seen him naked more times then you want to admit, smell his annoyingly loud and disgusting farts and burps and have also seen him throwing up his food on top of you. he literally has no attractive qualities to him, either personality wise or looks wise.

also, he was just a dickhead and oversized toddler thrown in one so you don't understand how anyone could want him.

"look, i know you love my dick an' all— but we have to actually talk about—"he didn't even finish his sentence because you end up throwing a book at his face.

"ow! (y/n), what the fuckety fuck?"

you click your pen in annoyance and glare across at the annoying boy. why, why do you put up with him? he's damaging your brain. kaito literally leaves you with a thumping headache whenever you two talk because the things he comes out with are unbelievable at times.

"why do you want to know about my virginity so much?" you demand, bringing it right back to the point kaito engaged this conversation in the first place.

still holding his nose, he replies in a slightly high pitched voice. "you're the last virgin here. you need to get laid and abandon the prune stage you're in currently."

here we go. was it so unusual for an eighteen year old to still have their virginity? sure, your whole school by now has lost theirs but you can't understand why everyone is amazed by the fact you have still yet to lose yours. everyday people come up and ask you why you haven't lost your virginity yet and you don't know what type of answer they're expecting but it's never the one you give them.

"why the fuck do you care?"

okay, maybe it's a bit harsh but you're sick of all the goddamn questions about it because who would like to have seven people a day ask questions about your virginity? who? it was obscene and you were tired of all the speculation and theories on why you have yet to have sex with someone.

sex never interested you and you've never gotten anywhere near first base; never mind sleeping with someone.

"kaito, i am perfectly content with the way i am right now."

"an anxious, depressed and seriously sleep deprived tea addict?"

"hey!" you snap and narrow your eyes at his smirking face. "tea is the only good thing in my life."

kaito finishes munching on his toast and runs a hand through his cobalt hair. "what about me?"

"i said good thing."

"bitch." he mumbles.

you reach for the book, ready to throw it again when he widens his eyes and throws his arms up in front of his face to protect himself from the impending pain that will happen if he doesn't stop annoying you.

"okay, okay! look, i have an idea to help you get laid," you tighten your grip on the book and he's quick to explain. "you need to loosen up and have a good time, (y/n). don't even deny that—"

you mumble under your breath while reluctantly putting the book down. you ignore kaito's smug look and resist the urge to slap it off his face. okay, you need to loosen up. you swore you were never this violent before.

"there's this app and basically it's like a dating and a sex hotline—"

you stare at him blankly.

"i know it sounds suspicious, i know!" kaito slams his fist down on the table and remains stern with his exclamation. "but you talk to these people your age and you can basically get laid or go on dates whatever. they show you people around your area as well and you can call and text 'em, whatever you fancy."

you still stare at him blankly.

"i've used it and so has everyone else in our year. just—" kaito looks stumped at your bored expression and sinks into his metal chair. "give it a go, 'k? if you don't like it i'll stop bugging you about it."

it doesn't sound safe, whatsoever. but your curiosity has peaked and kaito knows you hate being curious about something because you'll check it out for yourself. a hotline for dating and having sex? you've never heard of it nor have you ever seen the app on your phone but you guess if it's used so much it has to be decent enough.

and by kaito's knowing smirk drifting up his face, he knows that you've made a decision.

"i'll think about it you fucking dickwad." you mutter before you return back to your homework.

that means yes in your vocabulary.

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hi

so, i know i've been dead since September when this was originally deleted. i know i promised i'd update a new story, but i won't lie. i really didn't want to write again. FBH being deleted destroyed whatever passion i had for a bit and i honestly have been thinking the past 2 months of just quitting and moving on.

but i can't, not when i want to complete this book so fucking bad that it actually hurts to not see this completed.

which is why it's back on Wattpad— i'm giving this book one last try on this app and if it gets deleted again, it will remain on AO3 more than likely unfinished. i am slightly worried my account may get deleted as a whole this time, but i'm taking the risk (very very very very very stupidly taking the risk)

nothing will be changed with it being reposted on Wattpad other than spelling mistakes and maybe a few plot holes— so it'll still be the original, i promise.

i want to say a big thank you to everyone who reached out, everyone who's silently supported me over the years. i really hope this book stays because i want ye to enjoy it <33 i'm going to try my best to remember what happened in the chapters i had outlined before it got deleted :))

a massive thank you to Sunaraii who sent me on the remaining chapters i had lost, this book would not be back if it wasn't for her 🫶

i can't wait to continue writing and hurting my favourite group of outcasted friends 🤥

WC: 1411