
CHAPTER NINETEEN
A N D R E A
Waiting was an eternal anguish I couldn't get out of. Vittoria and Eva had managed to calm me down and were sitting with me on the couch, either of them holding one of my still-trembling hands as my eyes remained glued to the clock, watching the minutes tick by. In my head, I'd told myself that as soon as Lorenzo would get here, everything would be fine, but I couldn't shake the feeling that what I was waiting for wasn't Lorenzo. It was a storm. One that would only leave wreckage behind. My heart was hammering in my chest as I sat there stagnant, praying in my heart that my daughter and husband were alright.
"Renzo!" Vittoria gasped beside me and her hold on me loosened as she rushed towards the door, followed by Eva.
My gaze followed them slowly, my vision hazy. Eva had her arms wrapped around Luca, and was hugging him like her life depended on it. His grip on her mirrored hers, and I looked away as he placed his lips against the crown of her head, suddenly feeling like I was intruding on a moment that wasn't mine.
Vittoria had her arms wrapped around Lorenzo's face, and was raining kisses on him, but my eyes were only on the crimson on his shirt. The same crimson which was bleeding into my vision as I felt my legs give out the moment I even willed to stand myself so I could rush to him. I didn't realize when the red in my gaze turned to ice, but before I knew it, my gaze was locked with his, and for a minute it was all silent. All the chaos in my head seemed to have quietened and I felt air return into my lungs. Lorenzo whispered something to Vittoria, who nodded and he made his way towards me. Lorenzo stopped when his feet touched mine, and got down on one knee so I could see his face. He reached for my shaking hands, and intertwined his fingers with mine, his eyes never leaving mine as he squeezed my hand.
I swallowed the tears that threatened to slip, but I didn't think I was very successful as Lorenzo frowned, "You're bleeding," I whispered, unsure if this was even real.
"It doesn't matter. Iβ" Lorenzo looked down at our hands, before closing his eyes as he exhaled, "I need you to come with me."
"What?" I blinked. Unsure if I had heard him right.
"Let me help you up." Lorenzo got up first, and then with his hand still holding mine, pulled me up as he wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, holding me close to him.
Lorenzo nodded at his father, who was comforting a hysterical Vittoria. My confusion made me seek out Lorenzo and I mustered all of the little strength I had and broke away from his grip so I was facing him instead.
"Wait." I pushed my hand against his chest, stopping him, "Where's Tori and Alessandro?"
The look on Lorenzo's face told me I didn't want to know the answer, and my knees buckled under my weight. Lorenzo reached forward and placed his hand on my lower back, holding me steady against his chest.
"Lorenzo." I fisted the fabric of his bloody shirt, and sniffled, "You promised."
*
L O R E N Z O
There was so much accusation in her meek whisper that I felt like I could drown right there and then. I swallowed, balling my free hand into a fist by my side. I didn't think I would ever have to experience a broken heart, but after all that had happened in the course of the past few hours, I was no longer a stranger to it. It felt like something had shattered and the broken pieces had started flowing in my veins, piercing me from the inside out.
I didn't think I would once have to apologise to someone in corrupt existence, but for all of my broken promises, and half truths, if there was anyone I owed an apology to was my wife and children. However, to my utter failure one of them would never be able to what it because she was no longer here, "I'm sorry."
"Where are they?" Her voice broke with another wave of tears, and this time I couldn't even force myself to wipe away her tears as they streamed down her face and became one with the blood on my shirt.
I didn't know how to deliver the news without breaking her, so I remained silent, rooted to my spot as her confusion turned into frustration and she pushed against my chest, forcing me to stumble a step back. "You told me you'd tell me the truth if I asked. Well, I'm asking now!" She wiped across her face harshly as more tears continued to fall down almost akin to an obsidian waterfall.
"They got Alessandro." I hadn't even finished speaking when her silent tears tirned into an ugly sob and her knees gave out.
I rushed to wrap my arms around her, but in my attempt to keep her steady, she took me down with her as I held her in my arms. Andrea placed her forehead against my chest as she shook with the furnace of her pain, burning me in the process. Andrea clutched my bloody shirt, a testament to the bloody life I was born into and was tied to, as she trembled profusely. I continued to rock her, forcing my self to be still and composed. I wasn't big on empathy, but each tear from her felt like a tousand cuts on my skin, puncturing me down to my rotten soul. After what seemed like an eternity her cries died down as she sniffled and pulled away from my chest to look at me. Her gaze was forlorn, and I didn't think she was seeing me at all, rather seeing through me, and while I was trying to fight against the torrent of my own emotions, the desolation in her gaze forced me to surrender, and my mask of invincibility slipped as my hands reached for her face, cupping it between my palms, forcing her to see me.
"Lorenzo..." She breathed, and in what felt like forever, I took a shaky breath, "What are we going to do?"
I knew what I had to do, shed my mask of civility and truly become the monster Murphy and others thought I was incapable of being. Gone was the time to move pawns from the shadows, it was time to reclaim the power the Santini name held around New York. It was time to use the only symphony of sin that I could siphon into a hymn to hit Murphy and Anton Orlov. It was time to cut out their supply and bleed them dry, but I could only answer Andrea's question with one word.
"Revenge."
Alessio dashed through the doors of the house, followed by Milan. Alessio's gaze went around the room, landing on each one of us, in a different state of breaking. Milan on the other hand was in an unrecognizable state, his eyes were bloodshot, his tie a crooked mess, and his cheeks tear stained. Luca's eyes met mine, he nodded at me, understanding my silence and went towards Milan. Luca squeezed his shoulder, and led him into the makeshift office we had at every safehouse.
"So, it's true."
Alessio hissed and crashed his first through the wall in anger. Today, he had lost his twin. Alessandro was his polar opposite in every way, from looks to personality but he kept Alessio grounded in ways noone could. And if I had it in me to worry about something else, I would've thought about the possibility of Alessio going off the rails. He'd always been the one to act first and think later, but I didn't think there was anything he could do in his haze which would beat the devastation Orlov masterminded.
Like the quintessential puppeteer, he'd sat behind, letting Murphy use Carlo has his pawn to direct my fury all the while he watched the show from the shadows. However, I was aware of his game now... And wasn't that the worst paradox to have come across when it all felt meaningless.
Andrea shifted, and my attention shifted towards her in my arms, still crying. Her tears mixing with the blood on my shirt, and somehow becoming part of the violence in my veins as my heard bled in unison with her, yet, I couldn't show it on my face. My agony would have to become my redemption because there was no way I could fall. I caressed the back of Andrea's head, holding her close to me, breathing in her familiar scent to keep myself grounded.
"Mia cara," I whispered against her head, hoping to not draw Dad's attention to my wrecked state, "Don't let go."
In what felt like forever, she finally looked at me, blinking away tears, her eyelashes wet from the onslaught of her pain. "What...?"
"I needβ" I was interupted by my phone ringing in my pocket, and as I took it out to check who it may be, Andrea's eyes followed my every movement, widening until they landed on the unknown caller.
I didn't even have to guess who it was as I took a calming breath and put it next to my ear, stiffening,
"Lorenzo Santini,"
"I thought now would be the perfect time to offer my condolences." Orlov's mocking voice greeted me, and I gritted my teeth, willing myself to keep my composure.
"You were always slow on the social cues, Orlov." As soon as I said his name, I sensed six pairs of eyes on me in the room, and as much as I wanted to have this conversation somewhere privately, I couldn't.
He had the nerve to chuckle, "You know what, Santini? I'm in a very forgiving mood today. And more than the condolences I wanted to thank you for getting rid of Grigory for me. He was a nuisance anyway."
I scoffed, "Of course, now you get to have everything he left behind. I hear he shot you for making a pass at his wife? I can't say I was surprised to hear it, after all, that's what a snake like you is good for."
Provoking him was a bad idea, when it was a known secret, both of the brothers had been after her, but throwing him off was my only arsenal until I figured out a plan to bring him to his knees.
"Ah... Should I take it as a threat?" Anton's voice was now bordering on menacing, and it was serving as the perfect recipe for my anger.
"Make of it what you will, Orlov. Just know that I know of your game."
That made him take a pause and I could hear his sharp intake of breath. My lips tipped up in a smirk at merely catching him off guard. Although I was dissappointed that he recovered too quickly, "Well, then, you also have reason to celebrate as it seems. Instead of 4 fucking funerals, you only have 2, and one of them isn't even yours."
"I'd be very careful with what I say next."
"You know what, Santini? Bury your daughter and brother first before you make any threats. I'll be waiting."
The motherfucker cut the call right after, and the beep rang in my ears until all I could see was red. I forced myself to exhale and put on the mask of composure I'd been using a crutch, and urged Andrea up by holding her shoulders in my hands. I'd only turned around when Alessio was in my face,
"What'd the bastard say?"
I pulled Andrea closer to me, wanting her away from Alessio's rage, "Not now."
He looked like he wanted to protest but I shook my head, making sure there was no room for argument in my gaze. Alessio looked like he'd argue, but he let it go and walked out of the living room.
"Let's go." I whispered to Andrea as I took her with me to our room, closing the door behind us as I made her sit on the bed.
"Do you need something?" I touched her knee at her silence, and she looked at me like she wasn't there at all.
It was hollow, and I couldn't help my sharp intake of breath as I called out to her, caressing her face in my palm, "mia cara,"
Her silence tormented me some more until she finally blinked, another lone tear following the same path as countless others on her face, "you lied..."
"Andreaβ" she cut me off as she pushed my hands away from her face, sliding back on the bed, out of my reach.
"You promised me, Lorenzo!" Her accusation echoed through the chambers of my heart, almost stopping it for a minute, "She was innocentβ" Andrea's voice broke as she angrily wiped at her fresh tears, "her only fault... was that... she was... your daughter." she finished through hiccups, hugging herself.
"Mia cara..." I leaned forward to reach for her, and she flinched back, stunning me to stillness. I closed my eyes, exhaled, and faced her again, and repeated the only words I could tell her, "I'm sorry."
Andrea sighed, her shoulders dropping before she looked at me with so much disdain in her eyes that it nearly eviscerated me. Unable to bear the accusation and hatred in her gaze, I turned away and got up to walk out of the room before her voice stopped me dead in my tracks.
"Does it even hurt you, Lorenzo?" She sniffled, and I looked at her over my shoulder, hiding my face from her, "Do you even feel anything? Or are you so cold that you can't even show one once of emotion even now?" I looked at my shoes, her words further opening up my wounds as I willed myself to keep my composure for the umpteenth time in the last few hours.
"Say something!" Andrea said in exasperation as she wrapped her hands around my bicep, forcing me to turn back and look at her. My gaze went on her fingers digging into my skin, and I felt the air return to my lungs a little. "Look at me..."
Her whisper let a little of her vulnerability slip through, and that was why I steeled my emotions, and swallowed as I held her gaze, hoping she could see the torment in my soul, and know that she was the only one who could silence the chaos in my head.
"Do you even care, Lorenzo?" Andrea fisted my collar, tugging it towards her with all her might, making me stumble towards her. "I deserve at least some answers..."
"What do you want me to say, mia cara?" I smiled sadly, "I don't have the luxury to break. So, take my strength to weather this storm. Give me your pain and anger, and I'll gladly carry them for you." I whispered as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her forehead, blinking away the sadness that had been tighetning its clutches around me.
"I don't want to hate you."
"If that's what will give you peace, you can hate me." I touched my forehead to hers, "but I hope you remember that you also love me."
And before I realized, a lone tear slipped my eye, and landed on her cheek. Andrea looked up at me, her trembling fingers reaching for my face as she wiped away the evidence of the hurricane bewing inside me behind all the silence.
***
Easily the hardest chapter I've ever had to write! I even shed a tear or two myself! I hope you all liked it (oops) but now that the worst is over we'll get to the good part hopefully soon!
Any ideas about what's going to happen now?
Andrea?
Thank you so much for reading, don't forget to vote and comment!
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