L O R E N Z O

It started with the beeping that'd been ringing in my head repeatedly, almost deafening in the endless darkness I'd somehow fallen victim to. The memories flooded me as the inflamed echoes of all the realities started returning to me.

She fucking betrayed me.

The thirst for vengeance came next, and for the first time since I became aware of my state of paralysis, I felt tremors in my fingers. Perhaps it was the impulse to kill, but the unforgiving blacks dissolved into reds, and before I knew it, blinding white stung my eyes, forcing the shadows back inside as the beeping got more fervent.

Needing the incessant noise to stop and for me to see something more than the inky blackness, I beckoned myself to calm down and opened my eyes more slowly. Blinking, I opened my eyes, squinting them when the lights threatened to blind me. Soon enough, the whites dissolved into faint shapes, and I could make out two people sitting in the corner of the room.

I didn't become aware of my surroundings in a heartbeat–like I usually would have had I been waking up from a nap–it started as an overload of sensations, almost like I'd been injected with too much adrenaline. I could feel my heart pounding, my head throbbing, and fucking hell, my throat was so dry. Finally, my gaze settled on Ma and Alex sitting on the couches, holding each other's hands, their eyes trained on mine.

Trying to offer them some semblance of comfort, I tried lifting my lips into a smile but coughed instead, my scratchy throat making its need known. They rushed to my side, and Ma squeezed my hand. I closed my fingers around her hand reassuringly; however, the simple action seemed to have drained me of any energy I might've had. The bed moved beneath me so that I was sitting up now, and Alex gently pushed a straw towards my lips.

Still unable to form words, I leaned forward and drank the water, finally feeling more like myself, albeit more helpless than I had felt in a while.

"How are you feeling? Are you in pain anywhere? Alex, call the doctor, please," Ma said in a flurry, and Alex seemed to have caught on to that as she rushed to press the button beside my bed.

Swallowing, I opened my mouth to form some words, "I'm... fine." My voice came out rougher than I was used to, and I swallowed again, preparing myself to say more, despite the growing discomfort at the back of my throat, "How.... lo–long was I out?"

I exhaled, clenching my free fist at my inability to do the most simple of tasks fluidly. Ma smiled softly, brushing hair away from my forehead as she leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Her eyes glistened with tears as she moved back, and I wanted to hug her, but my fucking arm just wouldn't move up.

"You scared me, again, you know," she sniffled, wiping the tears from under her eyes, "you scared everyone."

If I had a minuscule of energy left inside me and wouldn't feel my eyes closing again, I would've joked that this was an occupational hazard.

"As for your question, mio figlio, too long." She sobbed, burying her head in my chest, and Alex rubbed her back reassuringly, tears shining in her eyes as well. I moved my gaze to Alex's inquiring, and she mouthed later, making me focus all my attention on Ma.

Ma pulled back, but now she'd gotten blurry as I could feel my eyes droop, despite my resistance. My head began to feel foggy as I felt myself being pulled towards oblivion. My eyelashes seemed to be heavier, and I couldn't keep my eyes open for the life of me. I heard Ma whisper a year as the answer to my question before everything went black again.

Waking up was easier this time around. I didn't open my eyes with panic leaden in my veins. It was more serene. However, this time, the people I came to face were different. They were faces I didn't recognize in white gowns and blue scrubs. Though it wasn't ingenious to assume that they were my doctors.

My brain finally seemed to be taking a break from trying to drive me crazy, and I focused on the people around me; when a woman in her mid-thirties approached me,

"Mister Santini, I am going to ask you some questions. Please answer them honestly, and then we can move on towards your rehabilitation plan."

I arched my brow at her words, and she continued, "Can you move your arms?"

I'd tried earlier but hadn't been able to, but this time when I tried pushing my arm up, I managed to move it before the tiredness in my muscles forced me to move them back down.

"That's good. Do you feel comfortable with other motor movements?"

I swallowed, "I can move my toes.... My legs feel heavier,"

She went back and forth with me for a while before applying different pressures on my leg to check my reflexes. Turned out there wasn't much wrong with me that rehab won't fix, except there was this constant buzzing inside my head. I was angry, and I wanted payback, except for the life of me. I couldn't imagine extracting it from her.

Not when I knew I did back her into a corner with the gun. I also knew there was someone else. The reason I had another bullet embedded inside my back. Fuck, I knew that, but her betrayal left scars. Though they weren't much different from the other bullet wounds on my body, I'd remember hers and make sure she knew it when the time came.

The bed was inclined again so that I could sit up easier, and I knew now that it'd take me around two months to walk freely and get back to building my muscles again. One of the women in scrubs handed me a cup of water, keeping her fingers around it when my hands trembled as I brought it to my lips and drank from it.

Fucking hell, this helplessness fanned the flames of fury in my blood. I forced myself to focus on breathing as the water did its purpose of soothing the itching in my throat.

"Mister Santini, thirteen months is a long time to be unconscious, and while you had some spurts of consciousness in that time, you were in a coma for most of it. I'll need you to take it easy the next couple of weeks, and if I'm comfortable with your recovery in the next six weeks, I'll let you get back to your exercise regime." She paused, eyeing me, and I nodded,

"You may also have some breathlessness because of the bullet that hit your right lung, and we had to remove that part of your lung. Thankfully, the one in your back missed any major organ, so there should be no complications."

I cleared my throat, "Thank you," she nodded, turned to my chart, and let my mind wander.

Thirteen months was a long fucking time, and considering that I hadn't seen Andrea since I woke up, she wasn't here. I debated between the gut feeling that something was wrong and the simple knowledge that she might be living her best life, thinking she had gotten rid of me. For good. My head started pounding again, and a hand on my arm brought me back to my surroundings,

"Mister Santini," I blinked, turning my head towards the doctor who I'd come to know was April Williams. "You need to take it easy. Get some rest, and if you have trouble sleeping, please let us know, and then we can discuss if you'd need a sedative."

She talked some more and left me alone. Once, I was the only one in the room. I exhaled and leaned back against the pillows, trying to find sleep when all I wanted to do was find her and get her back here, where I could fucking get my revenge.

I knew I needed to talk to her before doing anything drastic; however, I also knew seeing her would only wreck everything, as I still wasn't sure if I could get a handle on my rage. However, there was only so much I could do while confined to this fucking bed. And it was all because of one woman.

The same woman, who was my wife, had me blinded to her deceptive vendettas. She would pay, that much I was sure of. I just hadn't decided how she was going to pay; however, if she'd get a few more weeks of serenity thinking I was dead, I'd let her have it. Because when I'd find her, I'd make her wish I'd really died by her bullet. The taste of her lies was still fresh on my tongue, and I knew it wouldn't just wash away.

It wasn't like I didn't know there was more to the story, but she had the time to come to me. Coming with a fucking gun was not what I was expecting. I wasn't expecting her to have seduced my senses so that she was all I saw either.

But she was gone now.

And still, all I could focus on was her.

Her reasons.

Her explanations.

Fucking Andrea.

In this savage kingdom, I signed a contract that threw me into a world of infidelities, sins, and unwanted emotions. She might've been my reckoning, unforgivably repugnant, but she had yet to see my reprisal.

I just didn't know why my heart was more inclined towards exoneration, renegading facts that had already been established and sealed in scars.

***

It was getting easier to wake up, and this time when I found my eyes opening, I felt more in control. While I was sleeping, the subtle awareness of the presence of people was also back with the energy that I never thought I'd get. The doctor had also removed the catheter, so I was feeling more normal. I managed to sit up on my own and brushed a hand over my face when my eyes met Alessio's and dad's. 

"How are you feeling?" Dad's brows scrunched together as he approached me, his hand on my shoulder.

I fought the urge to laugh at the simplicity of the question, knowing he wouldn't appreciate it, and cleared my throat, "Better than yesterday,"

"What happened?" Alessio asked from the back of the room, and dad eyed him with disdain.

"Let him collect himself for a few days."

"No, it's okay. I need to know...." I left my sentence incomplete, unsure of what they knew about Andrea's involvement in this clusterfuck, and for reasons beyond me, I didn't want her to become a target of my family's resentment and anger. "Where is she?"

They broke my gaze, their eyes downcast, and I knew they didn't have a clue if they felt guilty at their inability to find my double-dealing wife.

"We didn't find her." Alessio was the first one to break the silence, and I narrowed my eyes at him, "she called Alex when you got shot, but when we got there, she wasn't there."

"What about the cameras?"

"Wiped clean." Alessio ran his hand through his hair, his frustration apparent, and I sighed, fighting off the throes of rage that threatened to take me under. "Do you remember what happened?"

I clenched my fist, uncaring that my father had noticed that, and swallowed, "One of the shots was Carlo. He used Andrea as a shield when he did it. The other one, I don't know. How the fuck did they enter the penthouse in the first place?"

It wasn't exactly a lie, I knew enough to know that it might've been Andrea's finger on the trigger, but the one who made her hold the weapon in the first place with the intention to make me bleed was Carlo motherfucking Murphy.

"He threatened some members of the staff."

"How? Did they not realize any threat they'd get manipulated by would be their reality, only ten times worse if they crossed us?" Alessio clenched his jaw, and at their silence, I found myself getting agitated, "what else?"

"Carlo went into hiding, and Cillian has gotten bolder."

"Of-fucking-course," I scoffed, shaking my head, "I just don't get why directly attack me. It's a bold move but rather stupid if you think about it."

Dad rubbed his jaw, nodding in agreement. "I don't think Cillian is the man we should be worrying about."

My head started pounding, and I used my fingers to rub my temples, trying to calm myself down, when Alex burst into the room, her eyes dancing from me to Alessio and dad and then back to me.

"I need to talk to Renzo," she breathed out, still clutching her phone in her hands.

"Alex, can it wait? I'd like to  freshen up a little."

"No." she shook her head, and Alessio looked at me while dad focused on Alex.

Alex whispered something in dad's ear, and his shoulders stiffened before he nodded at Alessio, and they left.

"Will you tell me what that was about?"

"You didn't tell them it was her,"

I found every muscle in my body stiffening, "What are you talking about?"

Alex pulled a stool next to my bed and sat down, crossing her legs as she made herself comfortable.

"I know she was the one who shot you first. She called me crying, and that's all I heard from her until today."

"Why didn't you tell everyone?" I arched my brow, and she grinned,

"Why didn't you?"

I clenched my jaw at her question, unsure why I'd chosen to lie to my father and brother for a woman that had betrayed me so callously.

"She called me today, though...."

I nearly shot up from the bed before realizing that I couldn't stand up just yet. "Explain." I managed to grit out, my eyes trained on Alexandra.

"I don't know how to make it easier...."

"Alex..." I said warningly, and she raised her hands in surrender, sighing.

"She shot you because Carlo threatened her with your children."

"What the fuck? How?"

"Do you want me to explain how babies are made, Renzo?"

"Shut up, Alexandra." I laid back and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying my hardest not to unleash my anger on Alex. "Children?" I eyed Alex, who shrugged.

"Twins. Riccardo and Vittoria."

Though it seemed impossible, I didn't miss the meaning behind the names she'd given to the twins. I knew she was on the pill and fucking hell. If they were really mine, then she had gone with that motherfucker, and put my children in harm's way, for fucking what?

"Where is she now?"

"Don't worry about that just yet. Creed's gone to get her, and...."

"And?"

"Andrea thinks she has killed Carlo...."

Now that was a surprising bit of information. She just had to keep me on my toes. Every time I felt like I had her figured out, she went and did something that proved me wrong. Right now, I wanted to kill someone, and the fact that I could barely hold my own body weight wasn't lost on me. And then there was that tiny seed of doubt in my mind,

"How do you know they're mine and not one of her ploys?"

"She's agreed to a DNA test without any protest." Alexandra pointed out, "Also, I sent someone to check the place she left Carlo's body. Creed said he was trustworthy but won't tell me who he was."

It was the second time she'd mentioned taking Creed's help; last I checked, they were not friends. "What's going on between you and Creed?"

"Are you seriously talking about that right now?"

I arched my brow, "I'm not in the mood to hear lies and half-truths."

"We are engaged."

It hadn't hit me before this very moment how much I had really missed, courtesy of my fucking wife. It finally dawned on me that everyone else's lives had gone on the same way while mine had been hanging in the balance. It was the first time I felt like I was on the outside of a glass looking in. The volcano I'd been trying my hardest to suppress seemed to be getting ready to burst, and I wanted it to, but the only person I wanted at the other end of my rage was Andrea. However, that was the thing about emotions, they were expected, so I knew I had to forge myself back into ice because my only mistake was letting my passion for her take form and drag me with it.

"Congratulations," I said, unsure if I was genuinely happy about this union. Not because I was worried for Alexandra, no. It was the opposite, however, as it seemed I had other problems on my plate.

"I don't want to see either of them until I know for sure if the twins are mine,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep this to yourself for now. And no one meets them until I know for sure if the twins are mine."

"Okay,"

Perhaps that would give me the time to steel myself and get a handle on my emotions. A nuisance I never had to deal with until Andrea came and turned my world upside down with her fragility that seemed to be a farce now that I was thinking about it.

"Alex, I need to be alone. And send a nurse in so I can get to the shower,"

She nodded and left, and I sighed, unsure and confused as to how I was supposed to deal with this shit show.

I remembered when I was drenched in my blood, and I'd vowed that she'd pay for deception. I just didn't know how inconvenient she would actually make it for me to wage war on her. Even though I wanted her to suffer the consequences of the catastrophe of her making, I couldn't help but feel the little tug of emotions like a dying ember inside my heart that was insistent. I let this vendetta go. Except I was well-versed in emotional indifference, and it wouldn't take much from me to be just that to her.

Indifferent

***
Now he knows... What do you think will happen next?

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