CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE !

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- ❝ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING ❞ 💌

ⁱᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ !

rory👎 ; astoria
christopher👹 ; chris

christopher👹
hey where are you

rory👎
what

christopher👹
...where are you
let's chat 😜

rory👎
or...not!

christopher👹
no like
i wanna talk to you

rory👎
cannot relate!

christopher👹
rory stop being stubborn and just tell me where you are
mal's house is so big i cant find anything

rory👎
big words coming from a man who ghosted me the ENTIRE christmas break

christopher👹
oh😅
well

rory👎
how abt u hold that thought
save it for somebody who cares 😊

christopher👹
....
read 5 minutes ago.

ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ !

TW: SA & mentions of SA
- if such topics trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable, feel free to skip this chapter & i will write a little summary in the a/n
- this chapter is not made to sexualize any of the characters in any way, it is about spreading awareness & understanding more about the storyline of one of the characters.

she puts her phone away and sighs. astoria sits with cas on the couch, the two of them sitting there in complete silence basically just people-watching. she's been enjoying the party, but after a while socializing becomes a little exhausting and she needs to take a break. on top of that, she's been stressed out all night by the fact that harper is here. her friends keep telling her, but astoria is honestly scared the girl is going to jump her for just existing. she's not at all in the mood for any sort of confrontation today so she's decided to keep away from the girl - and her ex.

speaking of, she's seen chris and dante getting along, which brought a smile to her face. she's glad there's no awkwardness between them anymore. the whole situation still baffles her to this today, because of all people, chris is the last person she would've expected to care enough about her to do something like punching a guy in the face over her. it's something her brother would do, and it's a little weird.

astoria is snapped out of her trance when she feels cas' head drop onto her shoulder. she flinches slightly and turns to look at him, trying to shrug him off a little. "are you okay?" she asks, nudging him with her elbow. he'd gone a little crazy on the shots about thirty minutes ago and it seems like they're only just hitting him now. cas gives her a lazy nod, but astoria isn't convinced.

"my head kinda hurts a little," cas slurs, and she presses her lips together, concerned. she's not great with caring for drunk people, since she's usually the one who's drunk and in need of care. if only one of the triplets were around. currently, the only one astoria can see is nick, but he's with skye and she doesn't want to interrupt. as she pushes cas off of her and stands up from the couch, astoria reminds herself that she needs to interrogate skye and nick about whatever's going on between them tomorrow.

"let's get you some water," she tells cas, who now stands up as well and nods. they walk to the kitchen and astoria takes a bottled water out of the fridge and hands it to cas. he frowns.

"it's pretty loud down here," he states. "can we go upstairs where it's quieter?"

astoria nods, having no problem with that because her head is starting to hurt a little too. the two walk upstairs and look around for a room to go inside. she goes to open a closed door, but hears people inside and shakes her head. at that moment, mal exits the bathroom and spots her, smiling. astoria could sigh in relief at the sight of the girl.

"hey, mal, can we go in your room to chill for a bit?" she asks. "cas has a headache."

"sure..." mal says, somewhat suspiciously, but astoria doesn't have the energy to deal with it right now. she thanks the birthday girl and leads cas into mal's bedroom, closing the door behind her. cas immediately heads for the bed, collapsing onto it, while astoria glances around the room. there's a photobooth photo of mal and dante lying on her nightstand, and she smiles fondly at it before sitting on the edge of the bed next to cas.

"so," cas begins, surprising astoria as his voice is a little less slurred now already. "how was brazil?"

"good," she replies awkwardly, messing with a loose string on her shirt. cas furrows his eyebrows and frowns.

"no, how was it?" he repeats, emphasizing the second word. "tell me about it all."

astoria is taken aback by his interest, but she speaks anyway, "it was strange," she says. "i feel like a different person there. here, i need to be busy constantly, surrounded by people and noise. i usually can't stand silence, but in brazil, on the beach and in my house, i don't mind it. it's peaceful."

"that's really...woah, astoria," cas says. "that's like, really deep."

she knows he's drunk, so he's not talking in proper coherent sentences, but his reaction to her confession makes her smile. she doesn't really talk about stuff like that with anyone, and it's weirdly validating for someone to understand her. it makes her feel like she's not going completely fucking insane.

cas is looking at her with lazy eyes, blinking slowly. it makes her chuckle under her breath, causing him to raise an eyebrow at her. "what?" he asks.

"nothing," she replies, pressing her lips together to stop herself from laughing again. she's never noticed how funny drunk people are when you're sober. it's like he's in his own little world right now, and she just gets to spectate.

"you are so well spoken," cas says again. "that's so fucking cool."

astoria can't help but laugh. cas laughs too, looking a little confused at what he's even laughing at, but laughing all the same. cas is funny when he's drunk.

their laughter dies down, and they're left with an awkward silence between them. astoria turns to cas, finding him already looking at her. he shifts closed, reaching for her hand.

mal's room is dimly lit by a single lamp, casting a soft glow over the room. the air suddenly becomes thick with the smell of alcohol, and because she's sober, it's pretty unbearable.

astoria looks up at cas in surprise as his hand moves from hers to her leg, causing her to furrow her eyebrows in confusion. she knows he technically asked her on a date to this party, but she refused, so they're just here as friends.

"cas..." she starts, unsure where to go with this. "what are you doing, bud?"

he grins, his words slurring slightly. "you're so beautiful, astoria," he says.

before christmas - before chris, such a statement would've made her heart flutter. but as she hears her friend say this to her, astoria feels nothing.

lost in thought, she doesn't see cas moving closer to her. before she can react, he leans in, trying to kiss her. astoria's eyes widen, turning her head to swerve him, but his grip on her is tight and she struggles to move away.

"cas, please," she says softly, pushing him back gently.

but he's persistent, his drunken confidence blurring his judgment. he tries to pull her closer, his hands wandering where they most definitely shouldn't.

"no, cas, stop," astoria says, her voice shaky.

she closes her eyes, trying her best to stop the tears currently burning her eyes from falling. cas takes a step towards her and grazes his hand along her arm, trying to comfort her. his touch burns her skin. "come on, astoria," he says, and she just shakes her head at him.

her eyes spring open as she feels cas' touch suddenly disappear, and astoria immediately spots him standing on the other side of the hallway, a little wobbly on his feet. she turns her head to the side and her eyes widen at what she sees.

"bro, what the fuck!" cas yells as astoria's eyes shoot open. "don't fucking shove me, you psycho!"

chris clenches his jaw, running his finger along the collar of his shirt. "mkay," he says, unbothered. cas looks to astoria, his face expressionless. he speaks, but astoria can't hear him, because the only thing in her mind is chris, the fact that he's standing right there. why is he here? how did he find them? what is he doing?

but her silent questions remain unanswered as chris takes a step forward towards cas. to his credit, he doesn't punch the boy, just leans forward and whispers, "you go near her again, and your cute little face won't be quite as pretty anymore."

cas scoffs, rolling his eyes, but chris is unbothered as he moves away from him and turns to astoria. he says nothing, his blue eyes piercing into her soul, and she shuffles awkwardly on her feet. they look at each other for a moment longer but the fact that cas is still in the room with them is making her uncomfortable, so she leaves. she quickly makes her way down the stairs, opening the front door of the house and letting out a huge breath as she steps outside. she breathes in the fresh air quickly, her heart racing. she needs to get out of here.

astoria senses chris' presence immediately. she's not looking at him, instead staring at their shadows next to one another, the silhouettes clearly visible in the light coming from the house. right as she's thinking about how annoying it is that he's literally only 5'8 but she's still so much shorter than him, chris closes the door, and the shadows disappear. he turns to face her, hands in his pockets.

"are you alright?" he asks, but she can barely hear his words because of how hard she's trying to read his face. his features are sharp, his cheeks red from the cold and his long, dark eyelashes hanging low over his blue eyes.

"i'm fine," she says quickly, nervous under his stare.

"do you want to talk about what happened?" he asks simply, his soft words so unlike how he usually speaks to her. his kindness is stressing her out a little.

"it's my fault," she blurts, but at least it's the truth. "i feel like i led him on a bit. i don't know, it's stupid."

chris' expression sours. "it's not stupid," he frowns. "and it's not your fault."

"it's irrelevant," she says, rolling her eyes, trying her best to play it off. "i did tell him tonight wasn't a date but..." she's telling the truth, probably giving herself less credit than she deserves. the whole kiss thing and stuff has messed with her a little, but she's not going to die. she'd hopefully forget about it by next week, and move on. chris, though, chris seems to be even more shaken by it than she is.

"i'm sorry, rory," he says, taking a hand out of his pockets and running it through his hair.

"i don't care anymore. it's fine," she reassures him, to which he doesn't respond. she looks back to the house, the door now closed in front of her, and shudders a little at the thought of going back inside. "i'm gonna go," she says.

"i'll go with you," chris replies instantly. astoria gives him a puzzled look, but he doesn't look at her and starts walking down the porch stairs. she follows him and the pair start walking in silence down the street. she's fucking freezing, it's the middle of january and she's stupidly forgotten her jacket at mal's. but she doesn't want to go back inside, and she'd rather die than ask chris to go get it for her, so she says nothing and continues walking. she thinks back to a few moments prior, being in mal's bedroom with cas, and the tears that have been stinging her eyes finally fall. she wipes them away quickly, but she looks at her hand and sighs as she sees that her makeup is smudged.

this entire situation is just weird, and she needs answers.

so astoria suddenly stops walking, standing in the middle of the street, looking up as snowflakes begin to flutter down from the sky, a few landing in her hair. chris keeps walking, taking only a few steps before he realizes she's stopped and turns around to look at her. he doesn't say a word, hitting her only with a perplexed look, his eyebrows furrowed at her like she's just done the weirdest thing in the world.

"what are you doing?" he asks, walking towards her.

"why did you do that?" she says, ignoring his question and asking her own. his eyes widen, his hair now coated with little snowflakes.

"i don't understand," he says. it's a lie, and she knows it.

"why did you tell casper to stay away from me?" she says, his full name feeling weird to say. she's so used to calling him cas, to him being her friend. it's strange, and concerning, how quickly things have changed.

"he's a dick, astoria," chris answers lamely. she crosses her arms and frowns. he's keeping something from her, and they both know it. she glares at him, and he lets out a small laugh before turning back around and beginning to walk again. she rolls her eyes before following, quickly catching up to him so that they walk side by side.

"i hate you," she mutters.

"no you don't," he says, and she turns her head to look at him, finding him to already be looking at her. his smile is gone now, his expression completely serious. she's trying her very best right now to hide how shocked she is, but it's clear that she's not doing a very good job because chris' lips curve upward slightly in amusement. he's amused by all this. it makes her hate him more. no you don't? who is he kidding?

she stops walking again, annoyed by his cocky behavior. honestly, just his presence is annoying, like always. chris sighs and stops walking too, turning around again to face her. he sighs. "are we really doing this again?" he asks sarcastically. astoria glowers at him and sits down on the edge of the sidewalk, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. she's covered in snow and she's fucking freezing and she just wants to die, honestly. chris sighs again, walking over and sitting down next to her.

"you're so confusing, astoria," he says, probably talking to himself because he doesn't look at her when she says it. she scoffs at that, and he gives her a weird look. "what?" he asks. "are you disagreeing with me?"

"yeah," she shrugs. "if anyone's confusing, it's you."

chris' eyes widen. "me? how am i confusing?" he says.

"you were all lovey dovey with harper before and then you break up with her out of nowhere? that's confusing," she explains, and chris' cocky expression falls. all of a sudden, he looks really sad, and now astoria's even more confused.

"you really love to assume things you know nothing about, don't you?" he says, laughing. except it's not a happy laugh, it's more of a defeated one, like he knows he can't escape this conversation. astoria stays quiet, watching chris as he shakes his head, some of the snowflakes falling out of his hair and fluttering around them. it's getting heavier now, the entire ground being covered in a thin layer of snow. chris seems unbothered by the cold, blowing out a warm huff of air. "things with harper were really bad," he says.

astoria blinks, taken aback. she doesn't dare say anything, letting him continue. "i liked her a lot, but she made me feel like a fucking loser. everything i'd always been so sure about, like my family, friends, sports...she made me feel like they were dumb. like they were something to be ashamed of. youtube was the only thing she really cared about, probably because it got her clout or whatever, i don't know..."

he trails off for a second, and astoria can feel a lump forming in her throat. she's so surprised by his raw honesty that she can barely speak, barely even function sitting next to him. she goes to say something, anything that might comfort him, make him feel better, but he goes on. "and although i really liked her, i realized that i didn't like myself when i was with her. she always made me do shit i didn't want to and i put up with it but i just- one day she took it too far and i broke up with her right there and then."

astoria's breath hitches, and her heart falls to the floor. all this time her and their friends had been mocking him for his relationship, he'd been dealing with this? she'd known harper was toxic and jealous and literally borderline insane, but she'd never known she treated her own boyfriend like shit too.

"and i know she was shitty to you and the rest of our friends, but i could deal with that, i guess...but the whole other stuff? after a while, i knew i couldn't do it anymore."

suddenly, it all made sense, why chris was so mad and upset about what had just happened with cas. he was upset because it had happened to him, too.

"chris," she says, but her voice is shaky from the cold. he turns to look at her, him not quite meeting her gaze but looking to her arms instead, which are covered in goosebumps.

"jesus christ," he whispers, immediately shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders. "you should've told me you were cold."

"chris," astoria repeats, looking at his blank expression. it's like he's just realized everything he just admitted to her, like he's only just processed everything himself. he stays quiet, leaving her to break the silence. "thank you for telling me." she wants to hit herself. is that all she could come up with, really?

"thank you for listening," he replies, finally making eye contact with her. his eyes dart around her face, before finally landing on her lips. her heart skips a beat, then another. he inhales sharply. "you look pretty," he says quietly, and she nearly laughs. she doesn't have a mirror in front of her, but she's fairly sure she looks like a total fucking mess.

chris shamelessly stares at rory's lips, desperately trying to fight against the thoughts circling his mind right now. he just told her about harper. he just willingly admitted everything to the girl who hates him. the girl who he hates back. the girl who he just had to see have happen what happened to him.

that's the only thing stopping him from acting on his instincts right now, from stopping him from what he suddenly really wants to do. he's always distracted himself from such thoughts but now, it's just him and her, and it's the only thing he can think of.

but it would be wrong to do it, after what just happened. it would be wrong, and selfish, and a million other things but still it's all chris wants to do.

he curses himself for being so fucking weak. what he's thinking, it's all so wrong. he got out of a relationship barely a month ago, he shouldn't be thinking this. but any of his feelings for harper had immediately disappeared after what she'd tried to do, and chris feels violently sick even thinking about the fact that he dated the girl because of how she made him feel. in reality, he feels sick thinking about any girl besides her.

god, he's actually going fucking insane.

he forces himself to tear his eyes away and looks to the street, covered prettily in white snow. there's snowflakes all over her brown hair and in her long eyelashes and it makes him want to die at how fucking pretty she looks and it almost makes him hate her more.

he turns back to rory and finds her now looking at him. not at eyes, but at his lips, too. his heart starts to beat faster, racing as her breathing quickens and she leans closer to him. his mind is swirling right now, because she's actually fucking doing this, and so is he, and they're both-

chris squints his eyes, wincing as he's blinded by bright lights right in his face. rory quickly moves away, and he blinks, looking up as matt's car suddenly appears in his view.

"what the fuck are you guys doing here?" matt asks loudly, yelling out of the car window. "we were looking for you guys!"

rory shrugs. "we wanted to go home," she says casually, and chris is still so shocked by whatever the fuck just happened that all he can do is nod. it's only his brothers in the car, nick having stolen his spot in the passenger seat, so chris and rory both get into the back, not speaking a single word to one another. nick turns back to look at them, smirking at chris when he notices rory in his jacket, and he rolls his eyes.

"you guys are fucking crazy," matt continues, seeming to absolutely love the word 'fuck' right now. "it's literally snowing and you guys decided to walk home, what the fuck?"

"shut up, matt," chris mutters, leaning back into the seat. he's exhausted all of a sudden.

"rory, should we drop you off at home or do you want to stay at ours?" nick asks before matt can start swearing again. it makes chris smile, seeing his brother so concerned about where he and rory were. as the designated driver, he always makes sure he knows where everyone is at all times, since he thinks it's his responsibility to do so.

"is it okay if i stay at your house?" she asks, and nick nods, grinning. "i'll even watch power rangers with you, nick."

"now that's a plan," nick says, and chris and matt both groan. they've seen the power rangers movie so many times now that they can practically recite it. "shut up, losers," nick snaps, and rory chuckles.

"let's just go home," chris says. "i'm so cold."

"i fucking told you," matt says, and chris can't help but laugh.

for those who didn't want to read this chap, basically rory is hanging out with a very drunk cas and he tries to kiss her and stuff which rory obviously doesn't want to do. chris then comes and tells cas to back off and they both leave the party. chris opens up to rory explaining that a similar thing happened with him and harper and that's why they broke up. rory & chris almost kiss again ❤️ but then matt ruins it ❤️

that's all okay bye

━ ava ᥫ᭡