Recap

The wound couldn't  be stitched as it was pretty deep so constant dressing and cleaning was expected to help it heal naturally and fast. On a normal day, my dad would have helped but I wanted to do it by myself. Using the clamp to take the hold the bloody cotton wool, I dropped it in utter frustration as blood wouldn't stop sipping out.

"Looks like you need help with that." A voice came from the door way.

I turned abruptly as the voice sounded so dangerously familiar. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me but it wasn't. I wasn't dreaming or seeing things. Blinking rapidly, I realized she was actually standing right there, at the door of my room, looking at me. That same smile that had plagued my memory for weeks playing on her lips.

She's here.

"S-skye." I stuttered.

"Hi Mateo."
___________________________________

Mateo's POV

The clamp dropped involuntarily from my hand with clanking sound on the tray as I stared at the face that had plagued my imagination for weeks. I opened my mouth but no words came out and I immediately closed, knowing that I looked like a fish out of water.

She's really here.

Mateo, you idiot! Say something!

"Uhm... I...urgh..." I stuttered, suddenly unable to form coherent word and I mentally cursed.

Fuck!.

She giggled and walked towards me. I watched her take brisk short steps towards me until she was standing in front of me. We were barely a foot away from each other and I felt my skin blow with goosebumps, everywhere suddenly hot.

It's official.

I have it bad for Skye Inioluwa Bamidele.

"You should sit. I'd help you clean this up." She interrupted my trailing thoughts and I had to concentrate before I realized what she was talking about.

"N-no. You don't h-have to." I mentally cursed again because I was stuttering like an idiot again. She wasn't even touching me and I was already loosing my shit.

This is one of those times when I seriously need my cigarette.

"Mateo..." She slightly brushed her fingers against my chest and I almost gasped. Almost. She pushed me back towards by bed gently until I was sitting on it. I just watched her, tongue tied.

"You need to sit, let me help you. Wait here." I nodded as she walked to where the tray was.

I watched her work as she removed her sneakers before she went ahead to dispose the used cotton wools and bandages then brought out new ones from inside the drawer, spreading them neatly inside the tray as well as methylated spirit and utensils. I allowed my eyes and my mind to take in every detail of her look.

Her silk black hair was pulled back in a high pony tail and I suddenly missed the way in used to run my fingers through them. She was in a plain red top and three quarter deep blue jeans. She looked so simple and elegant. Very beautiful. Again, I cursed myself mentally.

How were you so blind to all these! She has always been right in front of you.

My mind came back when she walked back towards me and I looked at her. She settled herself on the bed and placed the tray beside her and moved a part of the bed spread so it won't get stained. Taking the clamp and the methylated cotton wool, she looked at me.

"This might hurt a little." She said simply and I felt my lips spread in a small smile.

"I think I can handle it." I said and she smirked before slightly brushing the cotton wool on my injury. An awful sensation coursed through my veins. "Fuck!" I groaned and Skye chuckled.

"I thought you said you could take it." She teased me and I chuckled, in spite of my pain. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the rest of the pain. I caused the pain. I still can't imagine I inflicted so much pain on myself.

Stupid.

As if she knew I was drowning in self guilt and regret, I felt Skye's hand on my leg and I opened my eyes to find her beautiful green orbs staring back at me.

"It's okay." She whispered reassuringly and I nodded.

Soon, she was done cleaning the blood and was wrapping the bandage around my middle. I watched her, biting her lower lips in concentration and it was the hottest shit. I tried not to focus on dainty fingers brushing my skin softly.

Where the hell are my cigarettes!!

Right. I threw them away.

"All done." She rose her head and her eyes met mine, a small smile spread against her lips. She made to stand up and unconsciously I reached for her hand. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you leaving?" I asked, she chuckled and leaned closer to me.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked backed and I shook my head, trying not to be creepy. She smiled. "Then I'm not leaving. But I need to throw this away." She nodded towards the tray filled with bloody cotton wools.

Oh, that's why she stood up. Mehn, I'm a goner.

"Oh, right. I knew that." I said hastily and she chuckled again. I let her hand go and she went to dispose them. When she got back, she settled beside me and looked at me. I tried not to allow my gaze to waver from hers. I was trying to read her, her feelings.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get in touch." She broke the silence, her eyes wavering. I shook my head. She had nothing to be sorry for.

"No, you had your reasons. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for." I told her, trying to get her to look at me. She sighed.

"I just didn't know how to face you yet, giving that I might have been the cause..." She started and I took her hand in mine, stopping her and making her look at me.

"Don't." I told her, holding her gaze with mine. "Don't ever blame yourself for what I did to myself. It wasn't your fault. It was mine." I told her. She looked at me for a moment. Then she opened her mouth and closed it. She obviously wanted to say something.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She finally asked me, picking her words carefully. Talking about it to my therapist made it hurt less. I guess talking to someone special would hurt even lesser.

"I guess." I nodded and she got comfortable, plopping on my bed more comfortably.

"I'm here. I'm all hears." She said and I smiled. My hand was still entwined with hers. I cleared my throat, getting ready to offload my life story

"I told you I got diagnosed of borderline personality disorder when I was twelve." I stated and she nodded. "Well, It didn't start there. There were a series of events that led to it. Terrible events." I trailed off, seeing that I had gotten Skye's full attention.

"You don't have to..." She started and I scoffed out a laughter.

"I want to." I told her and she nodded. I exhaled again, gathering my thoughts.

"My mum never wanted me." I could see the shocked look on her face. "At first when I was younger, I just thought I wasn't doing something right when she would scorn me and call me names but as I grew older, I began to understand that she never actually wanted me to begin with." I paused, watching as Skye was so concentrated.

"One day I heard Dad and her arguing and I overheard something. While I was still in her womb, she caused her own car accident so that she could get rid of me." I deadpan and Skye's eyes widened in shock.

"What?! She could have died as well!"

"Exactly. She went to the extreme to get me out that it almost cost her her life. That's how much she didn't want me." I stated and Skye sighed, not knowing what else say. I took that as a cue to continue.

"She was never around, travelling around the world for one modelling gig or the other, being the ambassador of so many brands. Dad tried to make time for me but I spent majority of my time at my grandmother's. Even with all those fall backs, I still adored my mum. I worshipped her. I wanted nothing more but to please her." I smiled at the rather vague memory.

"Then, when I was about five, Mum brought home a maid." Skye sat up with keen interest. "Dad was so against it and he fought mum hard for it but at the end she had her way. Rashidat stayed."

"That's her name? The maid?" Skye asked and I nodded. She urged me to continue.

"Rashidat became the motherly figure in my life and I began to really like her. She was there to cook for me, play with me, read me bed time stories. She was the mother figure in my life. Dad saw the way in had warmed up to her and became less overprotective, leaving me in her care, trusting me with her..." I trailed off, the memory of how everything went south flashed in my mind. I could feel Skye's eyes watching me intently.

"This continued for two years. Everything was going great. Mum barely came home but I couldn't care less. I had Rashidat." I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Suddenly, Rashidat became really loving, extra loving. She began to look at me the way a twenty year old shouldn't look at a seven year old. Cuddling me, sleeping in my bed. I was old enough to bath myself but Rashidat still insisted on taking my bath. She always wanted to watch me dress up, wanted to rub my body with lotion. It didn't seem bad, so I let her." I paused. Skye already had an idea where I was going with this because her hand clasped around her mouth.

I allowed my mind to rush back to the events of that year.

"She..." I trailed off. "She was my first." I said simply, knowing Skye would understand what I meant.

"Oh God." She gasped.

"It wasn't rape." I quickly clarified. "I let her, I allowed her because she made me believe it was okay."

"That's not an excuse! She did something Vile! She manipulated you..." I touched Skye's hand and her voice trailed off as she looked at me. Her eyes were glassy with tears.

"I haven't gotten to half of it." I told her and she sighed. I cleared my throat.

"This went on for a very long time. She made me do vile things to her, made me touch her in places I shouldn't have touched. She made me believe it was so okay that some times, I was the one who asked for it. She called it our secret game, made me promise to never tell anyone." I said.

"Mateo..." Skye whispered, tears dropping in beads from her eyes.

"One day, my mum came back unexpectedly and caught us. Normally you'd think she would have raised heaven and hell on Rashidat and sent her away. No, my mum didn't do that." I deadpan.

"What!"

"She shouted at Rashidat, yes but didn't send her out of the house and she made me promise not to tell Dad." I scoffed out a sarcastic laughter.

"Hell no." Skye muttered.

"Hell yeah." I confirmed. "Rashidat still snuck into my room some nights. Being a bit smart for my age, when Mum shouted at  Rashidat the day she caught us, I knew immediately we were doing something wrong so I backed out of it. Didn't want to do it again and when Rashidat found out, she became erratic, violent." Memories flashed through my mind.

"Oh my God..."

"One day, Dad and I were playing and he happened to see lashes on my skin. He asked me about it and I told him everything." I chuckled humorlessly. "I've never seen my dad so angry."

"He got Rashidat arrested, confronted my mum about it and she confessed that she knew but didn't want to make a scene so that her reputation and my dad's reputation won't be ruined." I chuckled again at the lame excuse. "What a fucked up excuse."

"I've never seen my dad so angry in his life, so mad with rage. It took him so much self control for him not beat my mom. That day, he told her to her face that he hated her and that he regretted ever marrying her. That she was evil." I recounted.

"All hell broke loose from that day and I was at the centre of it all. From verbal abuse to physical abuse, I got them a from mum. She never stopped reminding me how much she hated me, how much I ruined her life. How much she and dad were happy before I came into the picture." Skye was basically weeping now and from the wetness on my face,  I knew I was to.

"One day, it got to bad that I passed out. She left me there to die. Luckily, dad came by early and saw me then rushed me to the hospital. I was there for weeks." I said.

"And your mum?" Skye asked, trying not to let her voice sound croaky.

"She made to run but Dad got her." I looked at Skye and saw her watching me. "I kept telling you guys that my mum isn't around and all, always travelling. That was a lie.  She's in the psyche home." I revealed.

"God..."

"I changed from that day. It all started with PTSD, main reason why Jamal and I bonded very early. But then it got bigger because I was no longer the boy I used to be. I was already in a bad place mentally, physically, emotionally and even sexually that I changed so bad."

"My academics got terrible, I became a sad, angry, temperamental kid. I had nightmares of what Rashidat did to me and I began to see the female specie in a different light. I wanted to try everything Rashidat taught me. It was that bad_

I got reported to my dad every now and then. My dad got really scared for me, I couldn't careless. That was when I got diagnosed newly of BPD. It made more sense." I chuckled again. I sighed as I settled in silence, feeling Skye's eyes watch me.

"Let's just say everything went down hill from there. There were some times I really wanted to get well, I really wanted the voices in my head to be quiet. I went for therapy, I took my drugs. They were working. But then BPD is like a light switch, on and off. One minute you are okay, the other you are not." I shook my head.

"The voices in my head got louder and louder and I just thought the only way to quiet them down was to end it." I looked away from her as I said that, feeling ashamed of myself.

"Suicide is never the answer..." She said softly.

"I know that..." I looked at her to watch her look at me, her eyes dried from tears. "I just thought that if I ended it, I'd free you all from my burden..."

"Hey look at me." She moved closer to me and touched her hand to my face, her finger doing things to my body. I tried to concentrate on her voice.

"You are not a burden. You have never been a burden and you'd never be a burden. Not on your Dad, not your friends and definitely not me." She took her words slowly, emphatically, allowing it to hit a spot in my heart. Her finger tracing the skin on my face wasn't helping matters.

"I need you to know that God spared you for a reason. You have a big future, Mateo and we all want to see you make it because we love you..." She trailed off, looking down thoughtfully for a moment before she looked up at me. She leaned closer to me, not breaking any eye contact.

"Because..." She gulped. "Because... I love you." She deadpan and my eyes widened.

Holy God!

Did she just...

Shit!

"Fuck..." I cursed, looking away from her piercing gaze and looking around frantically, trying to find a secret stash of cigarette lying around.

Why did I throw all of 'em away!

"Mateo, hey... Calm down. What's wrong?" Skye asked, worry creased on her forehead.

Doesn't she know what she's doing to me?!

"I-I need to smoke s-something, anything." I replied frantically, becoming a stuttering mess. I heard her sigh before I felt both her hand spread against my shoulder and my heartbeat increased rapidly.

Fuck, Her touch...

"Hey, look at me..." She called softly and I tried to look at her. She had hoisted herself up right on the bed and she was even closer to me, her face just inches away from mine.

This is certainly not good for my heart.

"Why do you feel the need to smoke?" She asked calmly, her palm gently rubbing the skin of my shoulder. It was at that point I realised I hadn't worn a shirt. I took a shaky breath.

"B-Because, I'm n-nervous." Just by the touch of one woman, I have been reduced to a stuttering mess. That had never happened before.

"Why are you nervous?" She asked again, inching closer to me.

Lord, is she trying to kill me? My heart can't take anymore of this.

"You said you l-loved me and you are staying so close to me and touching me like that." I forced out in a single breath.

"Like this?" She asked, running her hand slowly against my skin to the back of my neck. I bit down against my lips to fight back a groan.

"Uhhh... Y-yeah... F-fück..." I cursed, closing my as I felt tingles on my skin. I have never felt this way just by a simple touch. I was the watcher of expressions and here she was, watching mine.

"Hey, breath." She called to me softly, causing me to look at her.

Her face had inched closer to mine and I could feel her minty breath fanning my face. She was watching me, silently asking me to be calm and at the same time asking for a go ahead. I let out a slow breath, the same time she leaned in completely and pressed her lips against mine.

Holy God!

Never have I felt fireworks explode in my chest. I thought when people say it, they were just being extra and cliche but now in was feeling them erupt. Skye moved her lips against mine, slowly, sensually. I parted my lips and kissed her back, going at her pace. I have never been one to take things slow but this just changed my mind.

It was electrifying.

Never have I ever felt this level of Intimacy before just by kissing someone. But Skye wasn't just anyone, she was The One. The trail of the tip of her fingers on my chest left my skin burning with intensity.

I could feel her hoist herself up to straddle me, throwing her legs to either side, careful not to brush my injury. As though having a mind of their own, my hands moved to wrap myself around her waist, pulling her close to me as I kissed her back with equal passion.

Her fingers left my chest to my hair, her fingers combing the curls ever so softly, I couldn't help but moan. She slipped her tongue into my mouth, meeting mine, twirling against each other and another groan escaped from my lips. I never knew Skye had it in her. No one has ever kissed with such passion, such sensuality and with gentleness and serenity at the same time.

This was a whole new level of intimacy for me and I loved it.

All too soon, Skye pulled away slightly, pulling her lower lips between her teeth and tugging gently. My eyes were still closed and I was still in daze of what just happened. She pressed my cheeks against mine and I could feel her heavy breathing. I opened my eyes, trying to catch my breath.

I think I'm in love.

She pulled her head away from where it was resting so she could look at me, a small smile playing on her lips. A smile automatically spread on mine.

"That was way better than a cigarette, innit?" She asked, biting against her lower lip. I chuckled softly.

"Yeah, way better. Why did I even think of cigarettes." I said in one breath and she chuckled.

Suddenly, the door opened and my dad came in.

"Mateo, I came to..." He started but then looked up to see Skye straddling me on the bed.

Skye made to get off but I tightened my hold around her waist to keep her still. She casted me a glare before flashing a nervous smile at my Dad who just stood awestruck at the door, a amused expression on his face.

"Uncle Taju, Welcome." She said.

"Nice to see you here, Skye." He smiled and then looked at me. "Seyifunmi." He nodded at me.

"Dad." I nodded back.

"I'll leave you two." He smirked and retreated, closing the door behind him. Skye looked at me and we burst into laughter.

"That was so weird." She said.

"Well, he has walked in on worse scenarios." I chipped in carefully and Skye gave a dramatic disgusted face.

"Well, let him know I'm not one of your conquests." She said and I chuckled, leaning up so my face was close to hers.

"Oh, I am very sure he knows." I winked and she chuckled. Taking the opportunity to loosen her hair from it's up do, I wove my hand through the soft locks and leaned her head in to kiss her again.

A/N
Wow! That was intense! This has got ti be my favourite chapter. A burst of emotions and flashbacks as well as a spice of romance. Our babies are back and things are getting better.

Or are they? 🌚

Mateo has given a full detail of his life story. He was such a damaged boy while growing up. Thankfully he's healing, it's a gradual process. No one should underestimate the trauma that of Male molestation can cause. We tend to over look it most times and it's causing the society a lot of pain and havoc.

With that being said, we moving towards the end of this book, just a few chapters left and we would be starting the Sequel "Stilling the Storm" within next month. Plot is ready, I already kept the blurb. Trailer is ready and my Characters are ready.

The drama ain't over yet peeps.

Stay tuned.

In the mean time, check "Spiritual Warfare" out, I guarantee you'll love it.