Important Author's note below. Please read.

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Jamal's POV

Recap

I knocked on the door and began to hear shuffles before the door knob turned the door opened. I smiled when he adjusted his glasses like he wasn't seeing me well.

"Jamal." He called, surprise laced in his voice.

"I need a place to stay for a while."

___________________________________

"I need a place to stay for a while." I said immediately Faizal opened the door and saw me.

Faizal was the only person I could think of to go to when I decided to leave home. I didn't want to go to Somadina because he is also preparing for exams like me and his parents are always extra strict when it is an exam period. Mateo suddenly went MIA since yesterday. His number was switched off and going to his house wasn't in any way feasible because of the issue between his parents.

Faizal lives alone because he is single so he was the next best person. That, and because  he is my therapist and it would be easy for me to speak to him about everything going on.

"Sure, come in." He stepped aside, giving me room to come in and I did. I walked into the spacious living room, looking around. It's been a while since I came here, maybe when I was 13 or so. It has changed so well and evidence of more riches.

Yes, Faizal has been my Therapist from the start. He was highly recommended by the family doctor, though my parents were skeptical about his age back then. But when they say the way he handled me and the way I began to improve, their skepticism wavered.

"I'm so sorry for dropping in on you on a very short notice." I said to him, plopping down on his sofa. He chuckled and plopped down beside me.

"It's not a problem. I'm more curious as to how you remembered my house and why exactly you are here. It's been like five years." He stated, removing his glasses and placing them on a stool that had different medical books on it.

"For your first question, it's not really hard to forget this place, even though it's been five years." I paused, not knowing how to go about the second question.

"And for the second question?" He asked carefully, watching my countenance. I couldn't speak because I didn't know how to start that topic. Everything was complicated, hard, painful, sad.

He must have noticed my countenance because his lips curved in a lopsided grin and he patted my thigh briefly.

"You don't have to talk about it now. I'll take you to the spare room upstairs, so that you can get settled in." He said and I shot him a grateful smile.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." I told him with all honesty. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Its nothing, really. I'm just glad I finally have the company. This house is becoming really boring." He commented and I scoffed at him.

"When we have asked you to get married and you don't want to hear word. Go get yourself a woman, jhoor." I teased him and he flashed me a big grin.

"Who says I don't already have the woman." He said. My eyes went huge at that comment. He laughed at my expression and began to walk forward, taking on of my bags with him.

"Faizal! There is a woman?! How come I'm just knowing! Let's talk now!" I told him and he laughed out again.

"That's another gist for later. Right now, you need to get settled in. Freshen up too. Lucky for you, I prepared food  before you came. Just pray it's enough for both of us." He said and I smirked at him.

"Right, because you eat like a walrus." I mocked and he laughed again. I smiled at how free I was here.

Definitely picked the right place to camp in. I told myself.

****

"Thanks for the food. I had no idea you could even boil water. Not to talk of cook an entire meal." I teased and he laughed out loud.

It was already 7pm in the evening. I've gotten a call each from my parents asking about my where about. I also called Elyon to tell her everything as well as me leaving home for a while.

She told me that Skye came by to talk and both of them were now cool, back to being BFFs. She told me to let it all go, even though it would be hard. I got three missed calls from Skye but didn't call back.

Mostly because I had no idea what to say to her.

"Emi kee? I can cook anything. Perks of being a single guy. You must learn how to cook by force by fire, by lightening by thunder." He replied and I laughed.

"But you are not exactly single anymore." I wiggled my eyebrows and him and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Don't get ideas into your head. I said I've found the girl. I didn't say I have already shot my shot. I'm still contemplating actually." He said and I shot him a disapproving look.

"Still contemplating? Why the delay? Are you scared of getting rejected? That's not even possible. You have more than half of the female population of doctors, nurses and even patients swarming around you at the hospital. So what are you scared of?" I asked him and he chuckled again.

"For one, being handsome isn't everything. Some ladies don't take being handsome or even being rich as criteria when they are looking for a husband. Plus, those ones at the hospital are just looking for "D"." He gave me a suggestive look and I laughed, getting the gist.

"Besides, I'm ready to settle down so it's not something I would like to rush into. I've spoken to her before, we talk once in a while. She's a medical consultant so we see each other at work sometimes. She's perfect, but I need to calm down." Faizal stated and I nodded my head in understanding.

I could relate because that's how I took my time when my feelings started for Elyon. Though, Mateo and I were competing for the same girl, I thought it would be wise to calm down and not rush her. Fortunately for me, she didn't like Mateo like that, which left me with an open shot. But Faizal might not be so lucky if he waits longer than necessary.

"I get your point." I told him, nodding. "But don't wait longer than necessary because other guys might shoot their shot and one might just be lucky." I advised and he nodded, throwing a smirk my way.

"Because you are in a relationship now, you don turn marriage counselor." He teased and I laughed. "Abeg shift!" He playfully shoved me and I laughed louder. Soon, our laughter subsided and I exhaled heavily. I could feel Faizal watching me from the corner of my eyes.

I might as well just let it out now.

"Skye said some really hurtful things to me yesterday." I voiced out, turning to look at Faizal. He had a thoughtful look on his face.

"What kind of hurtful things?" He asked me calmly. The words came flying back through my mind like they have been doing since she said them. It's not like they could easily be forgotten. No matter how much I tried to forget them and let them go.

"Really hurtful things. She said she hates me." I replied and Faizal sighed.

"Hmmmn. What led to all this talk. What happened?" He asked. I took a deep breath and told him everything. Everything from when I found out my sister liked Mateo, to the brawl we had in school, all the way to what led me here.

"I want to forgive her. Trust me I do. Maybe I've already forgiven her because it's obviously not her fault but I still feel somehow. I don't know what to call the feeling but it's there, resting at the pit of my tummy, haunting me, draining..."

"Guilt." Faizal's voice stopped me from further rambling. I looked at him, confusion written all over my face.

"What?" I asked. He looked at me, a small smile resting on his lips.

"You are feeling guilty. That's the feeling you have at the pit of your tummy. It's guilt." He repeated and I frowned, further confused.

"I don't understand. How do I feel guilty? I'm not even supposed to feel guilty." I defended and he chuckled.

"Well, that's what you are feeling." He said and I looked at him urging him to continued. "You have always felt that a time would come when your parents and your sister would neglect you. You have always felt  that it's a matter of time before they get tired of you. You have also always felt that you are depriving your sister of her normal life." He explained  and I nodded in affirmation.

I still feel that way sometimes.

"I still feel that way sometimes." I voiced out my thought and he nodded.

"Exactly. That fear, that feeling is what is coming to play now. Her outburst only transformed your fear to a reality there by making you feel like you are cause of her sudden insecurity. Making you to feel guilty of taking over her "life" quote and unquote." He clarified and my mind cleared in realization.

My mouth opened and I felt air being knocked out of me. Faizal was right. I feel guilty. I have always felt guilty for taking over Skye's life. I have always felt guilty for making her life revolve around me and now that she has voiced out her insecurities, I cannot take the hit because she was right, totally right.

"I...I don't know what to say." I stuttered out, trying to catch my breath. Faizal placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him.

"Skye has been taking care of you since the beginning and to the best of my knowledge, way before you were involved in that accident. I know your sister, she doesn't mind taking care of you. She will do it without a second thought." Faizal said and tears brimmed my eyes as memories of me and my twin sister came flashing through my mind.

"For once she wants something for herself. She likes Mateo, she kept it to herself because of you. You found out and you said something, you obviously didn't mean it the way she thought you did and yes, nothing can excuse what she did in front of your class mate but give her a benefit of doubt." He said calmly but I shook my head.

"I am giving her a benefit of doubt. I gave her a benefit of doubt but her words..." I trailed off as sobs clogged my throat and tears fell from my eyes in beads. "...they are haunting me. Her words were like knives to my heart. They are hard to forget." I chocked out.

Those words were like my worst nightmare coming to life.

"I know. It's more painful because those words came from your twin sister, your best friend. But you won't be  able to move on if you keep them at heart and you decide not to let them go. She has apologized..."

"Countless times..." I chipped in leisurely.

"Exactly, you know your sister. She feels guilty. You living home because of her is probably breaking her heart right now though she obviously understands that you might need some time away." He admonished and I tried cleaning my tears, though they won't stop falling.

"Jamal, you need to let this go. Else, your nightmares would just keep accumulating. We are still struggling to put an end to one, don't let this one turn into a demon that would haunt you. For your own good." He concluded and I nodded, sniffling.

"I don't even know how to start." I told Faizal and he chuckled slightly.

"You can start by returning her missed call, tell her you have arrived at your destination safely." I looked at him, confused at how that would help me and he laughed, noticing my expression.

"Baby steps to letting things go. Baby steps. I'm sure she would be thrilled when she sees that call." He nudged me with his head and I picked my phone. I took a deep breath as I picked my phone and dialed Skye's number. She picked at first ring.

"Jamal." She called eagerly and I felt my lips turn in a small smile. I noticed her voice was croaked and husky. Evidence that she had cried to much. I felt even more guilty.

I should be the one apologizing.

"Skye. Hi..." I said lamely, not knowing what else to say. I heard her chock out a short laugh and my eyes brimmed with tears again. I could feel Faizal watching me.

"I didn't think you'd return my call. I was pretty positive you wouldn't. I don't even know why I still called." She rambled and I almost laughed. Skye rambles when she's nervous and it's always funny.

"Yeah, I just got second thoughts, so I called. Just wanted to let you know I'm staying over at Faizal's till exams end." I told her.

"Oh." I could sense the disappointment in her voice. "Do you need me to bring anything for you? Did you forget something?" She asked eagerly and her smiled. This was the Skye I knew.

My sister.

My best friend.

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted..." I trailed off, looking at Faizal who urged me on. I exhaled. "Can you come over?" I found myself asking. There was silence for a moment at her end and I had to look at the screen of my phone to be sure the call was still connected.

"What?" She whispered, her voiced laced with awe, shock, surprise, happiness and I found myself smiling even wider.

"Can you come over tomorrow, after service." I asked again.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. When she realized the way her voice came out, she cleared her throat. "I mean, sure. Of course." She said calmly and I chuckled.

"Okay, I'd be expecting you. Good night." I said.

"Good night." She whispered and hung up. I smiled and placed my phone on the table, looking at Faizal who was grinning at me.

"Step one complete. I'm pretty sure you feel lighter now." He said and I smiled even wider.

He was right. I do feel lighter.

*****

By the time I got to the house from service at a nearby church I had attended, I saw Skye waiting in front of Faizal's gate. I was a little surprised at how early she was though I knew for a fact she wanted nothing more but to just get this over with. Skye and I have never fought this long before so I was feeling the way she was feeling as well.

Immediately she sighted me, she stood up from the iron seat she was sitting on, under the pavelon attacked to the fence of the house. I took to her dressing. She was in a baby pink knee length flare gown and had a white jacket hanging on her shoulder, with white covered stilettos heels to match.

Trust my sister to dress this good to church. Pretty sure those stupid church teen guys must have had a filled day, giving that I wasn't around to throw a stink eye their way.

Church guys and their flirting abilities cannot be trusted. I know that because I'm one. I smirked to myself as I approached her.

"Hey." She whispered when I got to her and I gave a small smile.

"I didn't expect you to be this early." I noted and she nodded.

"I just had to get here as soon as possible. I'm sorry that I was too early." She apologized hastily and I chuckled in delight.

"Can you stop apologizing for one minute and give me a hug." I told her. She looked shocked for a minute at my request but it didn't last for long because she fell right into my arms and burst into tears. I chuckled again as I held her.

"I'm so sorry." She cried, her voice coming out in mumbles as she had her face pressed to my chest.

"I thought I said no more apologies." I teased and she sniffed.

"But I have to apologize. I need you to forgive me." She mumbled out again.

'I wouldn't be hugging you if I haven't forgiven you, Skye." I told her and she held me tighter.

"I missed you so much. Let's never fight again." She said and I laughed, knowing that she was definitely pouting.

****

"Here." I stretched the cup of water over to Skye. She took it and flashed me a grateful smile before downing the content while I settled beside her on the couch.

"Thanks." She muttered, placing the glass cup carefully on a nearby stool before looking at me. "I still can't believe you forgave me easily. What I did was unforgivable." She stated and I smiled.

"Yes, what you did really hurt me and I couldn't stop thinking about it but Faizal told me that if I keep thinking about them, your words that is, then I'd be giving room for another demon to haunt me. Besides, it's Sunday." I wiggled my eyebrows teasingly and she giggled.

"I didn't mean all I said. I don't even know what came over me. What made me think towards that direction." She said but I knew better. She voiced out her insecurities.

"Skye, let's not lie to each other." She looked at me. "You said those things because that's the way you've been feeling." I added and she kept quiet for a moment.

"Jamal..." She began but I stopped her.

"It's okay. I understand. That's why I need to apologize to you as well." I said but she shook her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Jamal. You don't owe me any apology. Yes, maybe I had my insecurities but I should never have allowed my emotions to get the better part of me. To the point that I said those awful things to you in front of our class mates. No amount of excuses can make up for what I did." She said and I looked at her, my heart swelling with pride.

"Why didn't you tell me about them?" I asked her. She shot me a look and scoffed.

"What would I have told you? I would walk up to you and say hey twin brother, I'm jealous you are getting all the attention of our parents, please don't have PTSD anymore. What kind of sister would that have made me?" She asked rhetorically and I kept quiet, understanding her point. She sighed.

"Now I understand why you were always so skeptical about telling me whenever you have nightmares or other issues. It's not easy. But you would never have let that get into your head like it got into mine. You'd never jeopardize our relationship like I have. Elyon was right, what I did made me no better than Tolani." She said and I laughed.

"Nah. Don't compare yourself with a psychopath. Please don't." I said and she laughed as well. Soon the laughter subsided and she looked at me pleadingly.

"You owe me no apology, Jamal. I am the guilty one." She concluded and I looked down.

For a while, we didn't say anything to each other, just basked in the comfortable silence we were settled in.

"I won't be coming home till after exams." I told her and she nodded.

"I understand. You need a time off, I'd give you that. Dad and Mum are worried about you." She said, concern laced in her voice and I shook my head at that.

"Exactly why I need to stay away. I need you to help me tell them that they shouldn't be worried about me. I'm fine, I'm with my therapist. I need them to focus on you, for once. That's why I left." I told her and she widened her eyes.

"It wasn't because of me?" She asked me.

"At first, I needed a space from you. But then I realized that I just needed them to focus on you alone. At least for once, it shouldn't be all about me." I told her.

"Do you think that will work?" She asked, her tone laced with uncertainty. I nodded, taking her hand in mine.

"It should. I'll make sure of that." I replied and she nodded. One more thing flashed in my mind.

"Also I need you to know that who ever your love interest is, even if it's Mateo, I am right behind you to support you." I told and she flashed a some what sad smile before nodding again. I pulled her close to me so that her head will rest on my shoulder. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." She muttered back.

****

Mateo's POV

I've been laying low since the past week. More or less, since Skye told me about her feelings for me. Yes, that makes me a coward. A big time coward. But that was basically the best solution to me. I wasn't laying low because she professed her feelings for me. I was laying low because I knew what happened after she left.

What I caused between her and Jamal.

My demons were right.

I destroy everything I touch...

...and I might have destroyed the relationship between siblings all because of my selfishness.

I had feelings for Skye. I have always had feelings for her, deep down. It just took so much, so so much for me to figure it out, for my eyes to be opened to what has been right in front of me all this while. What my selfishness prevented me from seeing.

I'm cursed.

Now I had my head placed on the table as I pretended to be asleep in class so that no one would disturb me. I've been hiding in a shell, becoming a shadow of my former self just because I was too much of a coward to walk up to Skye and tell her how I feel.

I'm a mess.

"Mateo." Someone tapped me. I knew who it was. His voice was very annoying and difficult to miss. I rose my head slightly and shot him a glare through my tired droopy eyelids.

"What do you want Tejiri? Go and disturb another person. See Tosin..." I pointed to another one of my class mates. "Go and disturb him. Leave me abeg." I hissed, trying to put my head back on the table but TJ stopped me.

"I'm not here to joke or play, guy. I'm concerned about your behavior lately. You slept all through government revision class. Guy, exams are starting in two days and you haven't attended any of our extra study sessions. How far you na." He said, serious concern laced in his voice but I didn't care.

"Abeg, free me. If you have a problem with my current behavior then don't talk to me." I spoke harshly to him and he shook his head.

"Guy, you are my friend. I'd tell you the truth, this your behaviour isn't nice. I no like am at all." He commented and I hissed.

"Ehn, no like am. Abeg free me, I no get time for all this your okoto yans." I snapped at him.

"Mateo." A familiar voice apart from Tejiri's called my name and I looked past him to see the person I've been trying to avoid all these while.

Skye.

She was standing by the door of the class, looking at me intently with her green eyes. Her face held no expression yet my mouth suddenly became dry and my palms became sweaty. TJ noticed this and murmured something like see has babe don turn this one to mumu. May God help our men before walking away.

"S-S-Skye." I stuttered out, not recognizing my own voice.

"Can we talk, in private?" She requested and I frowned slightly, wondering what she wanted us to talk about. She nodded towards the hallway before walking out and I stood up, following her.

We got to a rather secluded balcony of the block which had a stairs that led to the administration block. Students rarely used that stairs except they were being sent to the administration block.

I leaned on one end of the railings and she stood aloof from me. I felt a sense of loneliness wash over me as Skye has never been so far apart from whenever we are together. We stood for a moment in an uncomfortable silence.

"Mateo..." She started but I cut her off, wanting to apologize first before she speaks, praying silently that just in case she wanted to say something in the negative, my apology would change her mind.

"I'm so sorry for going MIA on you and the guys, especially on you." I said hurriedly and she stopped her words, looking at me. "I shouldn't have done that. It was really cowardly of me. I just needed time to process everything." I explained to her but she shook her head.

"Mateo, listen..." She started again but I interrupted one more time, willing to try harder in my apology because I was getting this bad feeling at the pit of my tummy that something was about to happen.

Something that might break me for good.

"I am here now and I really need to tell you something important, so please let me." I pleaded desperately but she shook her head again.

"Whatever you want to say won't change anything." She stated and I stopped shot, my heart thumping rapidly.

"W-what? Why?" I stuttered out. She took a deep breath and looked at me.

"Mateo, I've decided to put an end to my feelings for you." She deadpan.

My heart stopped.

"What..." My voice came out in a hush. I could see the tears in her eyes as she let out a frustrated sigh.

"It's not worth it. All these isn't worth it. With everything that happened last weekend, I can't deal with loosing my brother again. I'm sorry." She chocked out.

I was trembling, trying to gather my words but nothing seemed to be coming out.

"No..." I muttered. "This is all wrong." I voiced out, moving closer to her but she only took a step back and that broke my heart even more.

"Skye, I'm sorry I didn't notice it before. But I do now, and I really like you too." I told her, trying to sound as honest as I could, trying to make her believe me but she only scoffed at my obviously ridiculous attempt.

"How am I so sure you are telling the truth? How am I so sure those feelings are actually genuine?" She asked me, her words hitting me deep. She shook her head.

"Even if they actually are genuine, it's too late. I can't jeopardize the relationship between my brother and I for something that wouldn't obviously last. You are Mateo, you never stick to one girl. It's not worth it. I'm sorry." She said and walked away briskly.

I couldn't move from my spot.

I didn't have the strength to.

I felt my legs give way before I fell on my knees.

I've lost her.

The one good thing in my life, I've lost her...

For good...

A/N

Wow!!!

Okay, I know I should have updated since but I couldn't and I have my reasons. One of which is that my school has decided to make us do Online exams. Yes, you heard right. The exams are starting next month so I need to start preparing. I just had to squeeze this in with my tight schedule.

Everyone wanted Jamal to forgive Skye so he has already forgiven her. Though, he is not the one that told her to end her feelings for Mateo. I'm sure if he hears, he'd be furious.

Mateo is basically the most human character in this book. Even more damaged than Jamal, but he will get his breakthrough much sooner than Jamal would.

Also, I've gotten a contract by Goodnovel to sign my first Nigerian book "Beneath the Surface" on the app. It's time I start getting paid for my work. I'd appreciate it if you guys support me. Spread the word, pray for me, buy the book because it would be a totally redefined version of the previous work. More drama and more romance.

I am looking forward to getting that support from you guys. I'd appreciate it.

Don't forget to vote and comment on this chapter. Let me know what you think.

Till next time, stay creamy.