bigscarr12

- Reviewer Cash -

Cover :: 3/10
The red brown-black colour scheme appears to augment the book genre with Jun-ho in red worker clothing seems to relate to the storyline but the dull pink font colour doesn't quite come off well, rather it looks dismal while the font isn't appealing as well. The word placing could have been better and white or grey coloured font would suit the cover better but I cannot say the cover is well made due to overall look, it looks flat and you need to look closely to find the elements in the picture, it took me 5 minutes to realise what the background was and there is no particular highlighting or shadowing visible. I recommend using filters and sharpening the covers to enhance the elements and work on the fonts as well. According to me, the "Blacklisted" font would suit the picture more. Otherwise, the picture is genre relevant and goes well with the story but isn't appealing but rather flat.

Title :: 1/5
The title didn't catch my attention or appealed to me specifically, it gives off a "cliché romantic novel vibe" and the book doesn't exactly fit that genre so I don't find the story relevant to the title but I must say, it isn't very common, doesn't mean it is a catalogue or unique but just rare, something I don't see often. But I would recommend finding a title that is more relevant to the story, attracts people, is unique and hints at something about the story. The font you used for the title isn't quite attractive and isn't visible to most of the devices so I would ask you to put the title in the plain font but you may add symbols or enhance it without using any fancy fonts. Overall, the title is rare but non-attractive, not genre relevant and the font is required to change.

Blurb :: 4/10
Short and attempted standardised, attempted to raise curiosity but doesn't seem to be effective. Trying to write a short standardised blurb is okay but yours seems to cut down. It lacks the details a blurb should hold and lacks the factors to raise curiosity. The blurb should hold details about the characters but not give away everything about them. It should tell the readers about the plot and genre but just as much to make them curious.
Now, talking about your blurb, it's barely 5 sentences, one stanza. To read, it seems dull and flat and lacks the factors to make it sound interesting. Add words to it, try writing a concise introduction of the protagonist, a few lines about their love interest and end with the questions like your current blurb has. If you are feeling more creative, go for writing one Significant dialogue from the story or a quote related to it or being more poetic etc. Also, the grammar needs a lot of attention so we will get to that part sooner. Overall, the blurb needs loads of editing, descriptions are to be added, try being creative and don't attempt a short blurb, instead write three paragraphs, no more no less. In that, the protagonist 's introduction, childhood sweetheart introduction (just one's feeling for others) and quotation or question, your preference. Don't use any fancy fonts and rather focus on beautifying the words.

Structure and Coherence :: 7/20
The story flowed at a rather discontinued pace and some aspects didn't seem coherent to me. Let's have a look at those briefly to give you an idea of your flaws.
Prologue- "Always have been…
The line here indicated a sweet moment but the following line disconnected with a tease and the whole atmosphere switched, that discontinuity is caused by a lack of emotions and descriptions. You should not hurry up with the events and provide the scene required timings rather than switching moods this quick.
Chapter 10- The murder of VIP was very much hurried and flat, it lacked details and emotions and made the Sun look cold. The murder itself didn't make sense because she shot VIP's genitals which should have killed him most logically or he wouldn't have been in a state to answer their questions so this part was illogical.
Chapter 11- the "but I am still hot" joke, first and foremost, wasn't funny and I see you have tried to lighten the environment by adding jokes in a critical situation but as an author, it's a very wrong thing to do. You should rather work on making that situation look more serious and create tension in the atmosphere so readers feel things while reading the novel and hence, grow attached to it. If you neutralize the situation by adding jokes and trying to lighten the environment at such places, the readers won't grow any interest in reading since it sounds flat and plain.
In the scene where the organ trafficator was mentioned, I found this part extremely wrong and irresponsible of you because you show how little you have researched or worked to write this novel. Organs or any biological material isn't just stored in plastic bags. There are liquids and temperatures they require to be in good condition. Talking about organs since that's what you wrote about, they will rot like that. Organs (of any sort) are to be refrigerated so you could have mentioned dry ice or any types of equipment regarding that. This part lacked basic knowledge and I hope it will be improved.
Then, there were oxygen tanks mentioned and not masks, you can't wear tanks they are used for ventilators and such. You should google or read about equipment before adding it to your novel because you are providing the wrong information to your readers.
All your dialogues do not hold any verbal tags so I didn't get an idea about who is speaking until I read it twice. You seem to skip that part as if it doesn't matter but your novel sounds so disconnected and confusing.  The writing structure needs to be revamped thoroughly and I recommend seeking an editor for that or reading some books from the same genre to get an idea about how to form a continuous smooth story.

Dramatic Appropriateness and Articulation :: 11/20
The story lacks this aspect the most. The sentences have not been formed properly and hence the speeches aren't delivered clearly. The excess use of capital letters to indicate shouting and yelling is disturbing and breaks the synchronisation of the story. The characters seem unknown to me now since I didn't read a single thought by them or heard any of their point of view, so clarity is simply lacking. You should try thinking as one of the characters and try writing from their perspective, the story could have been more efficient if it was written from the protagonist's perspective rather than the third person.
The characters are flat ( don't have any development within themselves or in their relationships) and they did have a lot of aspects to change to, their relationship being the biggest one. You could have created tension Between them or awkwardness, shyness and Possessiveness to work on their relationship. The characters didn't seem to have any particular interest in each other and I could only see them bicker. There were some romantic moments but due to lack of descriptions, it didn't reach me.
The story seems to take dramatic turns at some points while it seems to lack empathy and other emotions at others. The lack of descriptions and your fondness for writing, in short, doesn't make the story feel dramatically positive. It might gain that quality if you learn to write emotions and setting descriptions, detail minor details (just to some extent) and work on your writing skills overall.

Accuracy :: 9/15
I stated a few logic lacking mistakes above and the syntax and punctuation mistakes to add up would make the book partially accurate. It has some flawless parts like characterization is well done but character development (personal and relationship) is completely flatten. The scene from following the black van was well thought but not well written. The final 'I love you' before they fall off the cliff could have been more emotional, if only you could add some memories flashing or some emotional lines. The fight scenes were well thought of as well but again, lacked descriptions. So you do have some good ideas and thoughts but you need to practice to be immaculate in expressions.

Grammar and Vocabulary :: 5/15
Syntax, Punctuations, spellings and basic grammar. I have noticed flaws in all of those. The sentences aren't well constructed and You foret adding periods almost everywhere it is required, commas, exclamation marks and other requirements are barely seen. You can add exclamation marks only instead of writing in capslock. Learn to use commas as well and kindly get a habit of using right Punctuations. The spelling - I have seen minimum spelling mistakes so I can just suggest reading the chapters before posting it or Asking someone else to do it so you Clear up that immediately.
A dot is period and three are ellipsis, no less no more. Otherwise it's grammatically incorrect. I have seen you adding two dots or a whole ant line to indicate hesitation and silence but you can use dash instead or add up descriptions about that.
The vocabulary is below average and there is a huge repetition of words. No action or verbal tags, no specific descriptions or emotions displayed, just a flatten report like continuation would be the biggest flaw of this book.  I could have suggested reading simple English novels so you at least gain senses of writing but it would be a long process then, I recommend searching up words and synonyms that make your story sound more sophisticated and well written or taking help of some editors.

Reviewer's Thoughts :: 2.5/5
The book wasn't quite to my taste but I did like your ideas and can say that I enjoyed some parts of the novel but it would have been more interesting to read with good grammar and more details.

Total :: 42.5/100

Strengths and Weaknesses ::
The plot is unique and the characteristics of the books are impressive as well, just a little effort towards the flaws mentioned would help the novel get even better and I am looking forward to seeing an updated version of Loved you since…
< Strengths >
Great plotline.
Well built characters.
Good ideas and relevance to the original drama.
< Weaknesses >
flaws in Grammar and vocabulary
Lack of descriptions and details.
Lack of emotions.
Disconnected writing.
Flat character development.

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