idyllickook

- Reviewer Semi -

Book cover :: 8/10 

 Title :: 8/10 

 Description :: 14/15 

 Story line :: 18/20 

 Characters :: 10/10 

 Dialogue delivery :: 13/15 

 Grammar & Vocab :: 18/20 

 Total :: 89/100 

Strengths and weakness :: Well first I would like to say it's a very unique, interesting book. The book cover is good and very eye catching. But in the cover for the background you have used some numbers like hacking codes or something, But I felt it doesn't exactly suit the story  because this is a story about a paradise. It also felt like a slight use of inhuman powers so the numerical background doesn't suit in my opinion. I suggest to change it a little bit. The title suits the story very well. It was not so common so it was a good title in my opinion which suits the story a lot. The description is amazing. It really increased my curiosity to read the book. But I felt that it was a bit too long. I think using a part of a conversation which can give a idea of the story is more appropriate. Other than using a long description sometimes it can decrease the curiosity of people. The storyline is great, unique as I said before. I loved how you built the story so I'vent gotten any issues with it.  The characters were also a strength in your book. They were mysterious, and unique too. I think it will make the readers read the book as it is very interesting.  The dialogue and its delivery is good. There weren't any problems I could find regarding it.

Grammar and vocabulary : I'll tell my honest opinion here, about the choice of vocabulary used in the book. So as you might know or not, the percentage of those who read fanfics is quite diverse. So some words used in the book I see are unrecognizable and not well known. I wouldn't say it's bad, actually it's a benefitting strength for writing books, but not exactly for fan fictions. Fans live around the whole wide world which includes different languages. So most of the people who read fanfics, do not know English as their main language and hence for them those words are bit too hard and tiresome to read. Since a Fan Fiction is more for relaxation and imagination, we would want to the fans to have a good, and understanding experience while they read. For this, your reads could go down as many might not be interested but there is always an inquisitive crowd who might be interested by your extensive vocabulary. I, in no way am trying to criticize you, but was sharing this small tip to help you connect with the audience much more easily. There were no grammar mistakes, and it is really impressive to say the least.  Lastly, I think this book is very unique, the whole new idea and of course the designs were  all very eye catching. Overall, a very good story.

Yang_semi

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