Mochi1316

- Reviewer May -

𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛: 9/10

The font color is wrong, the words are not visible at all. The designer should have chosen a color that won't camouflage the words with the background.

𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚎: 9/10

A unique and rare title, I like it but change the font you used to write "Aromantic" because not many people can view that font. Keep it to normal fonts and write it like this "Aromantic || VKook".

𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 2/15

"Who the cover was made by" and "achievements" should be written at the end. "Disclaimer" and "Meaning of the title" should be given a separate same chapter.

The description is very confusing. I can't tell if the events before 7 years occurred in the same time line or not and on top of that the bad grammar is confusing it even more. Also, no need to show what happened 7 years ago, just write:

"Papa, is this dad?" The child asked.

"Yeah...his name is Jeon Jungkook but don't worry, he won't take you away from Papa," The brown-haired male smiled and ruffled his child's hair. (I just gave a random dialogue here since after reading the Blurb, it felt like this is what's gonna happen but if it's different, change it up a bit)

<I didn't understand your quote or that "broken emotions" line so you have to fix this up on your own since I don't know what you meant here>

What will happen?

This is how you should write the summary. Please work on it...

𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎: 14/20

It's a typical cliché plot but it's nice but make sure to make the characters extra unique and give some nice, unexpected twists as well

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 5/10

Typical cliché characters, I found nothing special about them but make sure they make a great impact on the plot. But the usernames were nice.

𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢: 10/15

It was confusing because of the grammar or else it's pretty much understandable. They are satisfying but work on the grammar and punctuation.

𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚅𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚢: 1/20

There were so many grammatical mistakes...I don't know where to start from...

Your book makes no sense at all and due to the bad grammar, I lost interest in it very quickly. From capitalisation (in a few places) to punctuation (in many places) to sentence structure (I was like "Is this English?") I'm so sorry but the only thing I can say is read books with good grammar please. Doesn't matter if it is fanfic or not, just read them and also if there is a good edit shop anywhere, get your chapters edited? It will help you understand where you went wrong because it's gonna take me a lot of time to point out every grammar mistake of yours.

When to use commas:

"I love Jin", May said. (Comma here can be inside as well, as there are two different curriculums)

When to not use commas:

"I love Jin." I turned around to face the black-haired female. "You love Jin?" She asked with a calm voice. "Did you not hear me?" The beauty smirked.

But the good thing is, it looks like you know what to write but you don't know how to write it so you mess up the grammar which means you have room for improvement but you have to read books for that.

𝕋𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕝: 50/100

𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑊𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠: Your creative and that's your greatest strength.

Your writing style is okay but don't write the chats (in the first chapter) before the narration. The pace of the story is too fast and I didn't feel any emotions at all, try to be more descriptive and keep the narration and the character's thoughts in different paragraphs. Plus all the things I mentioned above. These are your weaknesses.

Hope my review was helpful! If you have any inquiries, feel free to comment here and I'll get back with you ^^

Please don't take it negatively, take it positively and be determined to be a better writer and strive for success.

Stay Gold ❣️

- Reviewer Nana -

Title & Blurb:-

The title was simple and relevant to the story but it could use some more words like aromantic soul or aromantic desire. and try to change the font since it's not visible

Honestly, the blurb doesn't interest me to read the book even a bit. There were grammatical mistakes like:: wetness on his cheeks memory from past hitting him again.

This should have been:: wetness on his cheeks as memories from the past hit him again or wetness on his cheeks were prominent as memories from the past hit him again. Besides, P.S is never used at the start, it is always used in the end or in between.

Also, I would suggest you to add a suspense or sweet scene to snag a reader's attention.

Cover:-

The blending of characters are done beautifully and the name of the story is clearly visible, however the other fonts are not. I would suggest to use a different dark color which goes in contrast with the cover and maybe add the author's name and a border.

Plot:-

The plot seemed good till now, however they way of expressing it is making it confusing. I would suggest you to think through the plot, make a proper storyline and focus on the writing part.

Character development:-

The characters till now did not have a proper development . I would suggest to meticulously describe every scene, specially when Taehyung started getting interested in Jungkook, I was confused on how suddenly he just saw his photo and got attracted, there should have been more description and explanation.

Pace:-

It is going a bit fast from what I read, you should add more chapters detailing about their life and emotions, this way it will be more comprehensive and interesting.

the induldgement:-

The characters weren't that comprehensive, I would again like to suggest you to write more about them so that the readers can get to know them well and relate to them. I lost the connection numerous times due to the lack of information and grammatical errors, this should be taken care of.

Grammar:-

There were a lot of grammatical errors and honestly I thought of not reading it any further.

-Unnecessary words used like:: "mixture of introvert and extrovert" this simply can be written as "ambivert"

-The sentence structuring wasn't good at all, there were missing words and sometimes excessive words like:: "Like every time yoongi hyung will complain but will start I saw all the hyungs and jimin" this sentence doesn't make any sense, it seems like some of the words have been eaten up, it should be "Like every time, Yoongi hyung will complain but will start interacting(or any other word). I saw all the hyungs and Jimin"

-The punctuation is not done properly, there were random words in between starting with capital letters and the names always need to start with it but here, it was done only a few times. The usage of full stop, comma and question mark was also not done properly like: excessive usage of full stop when you could add "and" or a comma. for instance:: All the seven came to the party. All were mingling and laughing except two and I give you three guesses. This could have been "They all attended the party, mingled and laughed together but there were two exceptions...I'll give you three guesses."

-The perspective in the book was not proper, rather than using "No one pov" you could use either "Third person's perspective" or "Author's perspective"

-While writing the perspective, always use 's after the name to show that it's their perspective.

-Do not use "?." together. We use only one of them.

-Do complete your sentences, do not leave them halfway and start another one.

Sense:-

Due to the grammatical errors, it was hard to understand but I made my way till the end. The plot does make sense but the way of writing needs to be fixed in order to understand it.

Strength- The creativity

Weakness- Writing what you actually want. This can be fixed if you read more books and practice writing smaller things everyday

SeokJins_Yeonin_rh

badestbitchhh_

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Regards,

THC