PurpleLightARMY

- Reviewer Nemo -

𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 :: 9/10

The cover was really good. I don't think I have much to point out regarding it since it perfectly matched the theme vibe, the storyline and the plot. No issues with it. I liked it. 

𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚎 :: 3/5

It was appropriate and meaningful. It pertained to the plot and story but I didn't find anything creative or unique to attract readers.

You should try making it a bit more distinctive and twisted so that it sounds interesting and readers take their time to admire or interpret it in their own way but be careful not to make the title misleading.

𝙱𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚋 :: 6/10

The Blurb was fairly good, it reached the required word limit and introduced the plot well.

The quote given didn't make sense to me. It was generally used as a realization of how precious someone's love for us is when we don't have it anymore.

If you get what I am trying to say then the quote is technically wrong because it says "how extraordinary our love was." We know for ourselves how valuable our love is but don't realize how important someone else's love is for us.

𝙿𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚜 :: 17/25

The plot was unique for a fantasy-based story. It was nice how you approached the theme and made it esoteric and fictitious.

A concept like suicide is not a light subject that can be blamed on the feeling of being unloved, left alone or being unworthy. People take suicide as a solution to so many things. There may be various reasons to commit it and various ways of attempting suicide. The prologue sounded too concentrated and seemed like a narrow-minded explanation of the purpose and definition of suicide.

You might want to look in-depth into the subject. Know how deep and dark it is and understand, how it is to be portrayed and written so that it sounds more pragmatic and raw.

I know you had given a disclaimer saying the brutal and Gore scenes are not explained explicitly, but for a hard subject like this, it's better to read and enjoy when written realistically and not sugar-coated and mystified.

The rest of the things were good enough. I liked them.

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜:: 8.5/10

The characters were all good. They had been described realistically. I like how you described their pain and emotions. The story on the whole has been composed quite well.

I'd say when it comes to strong feelings, you could have made it more intense and explicit.

𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚂𝚝𝚢𝚕𝚎 :: 5/15

For a genre like fantasy, the description plays a vital role in getting the story and scenario to the reader's mind. Make them see the pictures and unique things happening in the story that cannot be seen or felt in reality.

The writing style used is very simplified and there is nothing special or unique that makes it stand out.

Throughout the story's beginning, when the new world the female lead finds herself in is described, a line saying everything was more than beautiful is repeated and no other way of describing the place was used.

Be creative with what you see, visualize and imagine the universe multiple times so the picture is precise in your mind, then try describing it explicitly with a variety of adjectives and comparisons so the readers also can get a good picture of your world in their mind.

𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚅𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚢 :: 12/20

Like I said in the previous category, description is very important, so it's equally important to have a profound vocabulary and word choice.

Every time something similar in features is described (handsome men for example) you don't have to use the same adjectives redundantly (handsome/pretty/beautiful). Using varied words and perspectives can help describe the thing better each time and the readers also don't get bored reading the same thing repeatedly.

The grammar part was fairly good, but I suggest proofreading and minor editing for a few errors that were found at places and for mistakes that were often repeated.

𝚁𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 :: 2.5/5

I do love fantasy stories in general but this particular one lacked some of the major accents a fantasy should have, thus making it slightly less enjoyable to read. Nevertheless, if the tips I suggested come off as beneficial and you can implement them, then I hope the story can be enriched.

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 :: 63/100

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ::

A hard subject like suicide and a strong, powerful Genre like fantasy were the two major aspects of the story that played as a strength. You can write a lot and everything is beautiful if you put in all your inventiveness and ideas, because fantasy knows no bounds for the things you can create in your mind. A second strength would be well-emoted characters and content. The story had a smooth flow and that made it delightful on the whole.

The main weakness would be low experience in writing, maybe an average word choice and the Description. These three pulled the story down completely. There is room for improvement and corrections.

I hope you learn and practice to inscribe better work in the future for your readers to devour.

All the best! 

TaesNemo

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THC