K-pzy_Nana

- Reviewer Katha -

BOOK COVER[5/10]: 

To begin with, the picture you used for the cover is pretty, and the editing is good too. The fonts of the title are fine, but what caught me off-guard was the subtitle. If you look carefully, the subtitle seems so sudden and random, which isn't the greatest choice. A subtitle looks best when placed parallel to the title, below it or above it. So, maybe change the position of it, along with the fonts which seemed too normal for my liking.

TITLE[6/10]:

The first thought that struck me when I read the title was "LisTeN bOi, liSteN tO mY fiRsT lOvE sTorY"... Jk, I was kidding.

According to the description, your title has relevance to the story which is a plus point. However, from a reader's perspective, it's too long and mouthful, and not a very catchy phrase. I will not ask you to change the title, but I suggest going for a shorter and catchier title without completely changing the meaning. Or you can keep it like this too, not a big deal.

BLURB[7/15]: 

Now, the blurb had me confused.

It is short and not too revealing. You made a short summary in one sentence, but that one sentence is incomprehensible. The sentence is complicated and hard to understand. Understanding is the most important factor in story writing. How would one enjoy your story if they don't understand the plot at all?

You also added a line from the story, which created a surge of curiosity within me. You don't need to change that.

I'll suggest rewriting the one sentence summary, and this time, make it simple. No need to add fancy words or any complexity to make your book look cool. Simplicity can win too, you know.

STORY LINE[18/20]: 

The general plot is a nice one, and I find your writing style really calm and enjoyable, though you can improve it more by practicing. What you lack is the descriptive skill, not at an extreme level though. You describe things just fine, but I have a feeling that you can add more details.

Up to the chapters I've read, the pace is nice, and you have provided several pieces of information in the little amount of time - it's really appreciative. I'm glad you are not rushing with the chapters and giving your readers ample time to process everything. I also like how your story develops with every chapter. The management of a story is also important, and I see you have done quite well in it. Still, there's room for improvement.

CHARACTERS[7/10]: 

Your characters are nicely portrayed, and I like it about that.

However, since you have chosen Y/N to be a character, you should make her descriptions more generalized among the audience. You see, y/n represents readers of all types and races, so you cannot specify her looks. Everyone is different and if you describe Y/N specifically, it may not match.

I would suggest you go for an original character and not y/n if you want to give your character a specific description. Or, you can change the description and make it generalized so that it matches every type of person.

DIALOGUE DELIVERY[14/15]: 

The dialogues are rightly set and they match the persona of said character. Up till now, I didn't find any dialogue that seemed useless; every one of them had little specs of information which is a very unique way of providing info.

GRAMMAR AND VOCAB[17/20]: 

Your grammar is fine except for a few punctuation and pronoun errors. I have not spotted any typo or spelling error, but I would suggest going through the story once more and rectifying the little mistakes you have made.

Your vocabulary is average - not too high, nor too low. It's unnecessary that you need to use fancy words in a story to make it look great and everything, but it's the usage that matters. Where do you use the words? How do you use them? In what context are you adding it? These are the main points where the vocabulary is tested.

And you have done fairly well, so kudos!

TOTAL: 74/100

STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS: Your weakness is: your way of describing. You can improve and make your descriptions more elaborative by focusing on the smallest of details and bringing it out to the readers.

Your strength was your creativity with the story line, the management of the chapters, and the consistency of pace. These are strengths that not many writers own, so better keep these. 

yoontaetive

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Regards,

THC