NEWS OF FINNICK AND AELLA'S
engagement had travelled fast—granted it was partially down to the propaganda video President Coin had released from them in District Four before they even woke up the next morning. Aella had been beyond furious that Coin had released it without their permission but the footage itself had been beautifully captured—seeing them trying to fish together, wrestling on the beach and then Finnick getting down on one knee in the water...

She had cried, Clio had cried, and she'd promptly found Cressida to thank her and the team for capturing those special moments.

Clio had screamed when Aella had sat down in the dining hall the evening of their return and silently placed her left hand in her face. The bubble of bliss had continued on for the coming days as everyone readied for Clio and Daniel's wedding. Coin had sanctioned the day as a holiday for District Thirteen to continue to keep morale high during the peak of the War. Everyone had been authorised to attend though despite their best efforts only Clio and Daniel themselves were allowed to stray from the District uniform. Aella wasn't even allowed to wear a bridesmaid dress.

But Clio's dress... Aella thought she would revert back to her Capitol fashions of extravagant dresses and big, false, wigs but to her surprise she didn't. She had no interest in ever having to become that part of herself ever again she had told Aella—renouncing every belief, every habit from the Capitol. A true rebel, Aella had called her with a grin. Clio's response had been pure truth, that she had been desperate to shed that skin for years.

It all made sense. In the years Aella had known Clio she'd seen her on a few occasions in her 'normal skin' as Clio worded it. Unlike Effie Trinket—who had been mortified to not have her dresses and big wigs—Clio embraced the normality of not painting her face five shades lighter before the sun had even risen, she enjoyed not plastering her face in makeup to make herself look unrecognisable from her true self but recognisable enough to fit in with the Capitol patrons. She liked not wearing the wigs... some of the dresses and heels she would wear again in a heartbeat but for the most part Clio did not miss her life of luxury.

But for her wedding day, she didn't mind dipping her toes into a little bit of that luxury.

All the years of watching Cayenne and Flax preen and pamper her over and over again had taught Aella enough lessons for her to help Clio get ready for her big day. Effie Trinket had come by to do her hair and soft, blonde curls hung down her back. Effie braided two sections of hair from the side of Clio's head and twisted them together in a loose knot at the back of her head, pinning it in place with the clip of her veil.

Clio's dress had been made from several of Aella and Katniss's old dresses that they had worn throughout their time as Victors. She and Effie had worked tirelessly to design, pick apart and put back together the garments to create Clio's dream dress.

The white garment was entirely chiffon. The scoop neckline was the only tightness to the dress, the rest was entirely loose and made up of an abundance of flowing skirts that lasted for days. Two lengths of chiffon flowed from the shoulders of the dress and stretched for eight meters creating Clio's train while her back remained bare. The sheer veil fell to the ground.

Clio always favoured tight dresses through Aella's time of knowing her. She wasn't entirely sure why she'd gone for a loose wedding dress when she had the figure of a Goddess but Aella didn't want to question her. Clio suited the loose fitting, flowy, style.

Aella had tears when she'd seen Clio in the final product but had been too afraid to hug her. She looked beautiful—they were the only words she could manage without crying.

The ceremony had taken place in the transformed indoor garden of District Thirteen. Decorations had been made and draped across the room, beautiful trees adorned the isle and the alter, patches of green flowing grass with beautiful flowers. The whole day had been beautiful for them all—even for Aella to stand up on that alter behind Clio and watch Daniel's face when his bride walked down the isle was enough. She had never seen him cry before and she knew she never would again.

The order of ceremony had included some small traditions from District Five and after Clio and Daniel had sworn their vows a party had commenced in full swing.

Aella never strayed too far from the newly weds. She and Finnick had laughed and danced for hours to a small band. A group of refugees from District Twelve who called themselves Covey played on fiddles and violins for hours and hours while everyone danced. The upbeat tunes had made Aella forget where she was for a moment, had allowed her to forget who she was and what word she stood in. She danced and danced for hours, with Finnick, with Sal, Clio, Daniel, Sam and Annie and Natalia.

The smile on her face had never once faulted until she had caught sight of Cressida, Messalla, Pollux and Castor videoing the entire thing. Her train of thought danced until it was out of control and suddenly she remembered just why President Coin had agreed to this wedding in the first place. She remembered Heavensbee claiming it would be a good message to send to the troops fighting on the front line, to show the Capitol they were a united front and that no manner of torture could break them apart.

Remembered her engagement video that had gone live the week prior stood for the same.

They were in the middle of a war and people were dying while they were dancing themselves silly and being happy. She felt so much guilt at that. She knew she deserved happiness, that she had sacrificed more than what anyone had ever expected of her but she felt so much guilt for enjoying herself when there were people dying on the outskirts of the Capitol, fighting for territory to push the War forward.

Just like that her bubble had finally burst. She landed in the real world with a heavy weight on her chest and exhaustion nipping at her bones. She had been dancing for hours, body so high on endorphins it hadn't succumbed to how weak she still was. Her heart was slamming in her chest—especially as they brought the wedding cake out and Aella saw the decorations, heard Haymitch talking about how Peeta had decorated it.

Peeta. She hadn't seen him in weeks either. She'd been so caught up in her bubble... selfish. She was so incredibly selfish.

With a fake smile she had excused herself from the dancing, from the merriment, and when Finnick had asked her if she was okay with nothing but pure concern in his eyes she had nodded and said 'just feeling a little tired,' and urged him to continue enjoying himself.

He had watched her walk away with her hand on her chest until he lost her in the crowd of people—had searched and searched for her until he met the stoic gaze of his best friend on the outskirts of the party and saw Aella standing beside her. Johanna had merely inclined her head once at him, reassuring him Aella was okay.

"Want to tell me why that guilty look in your eyes is back when I haven't seen it since you two got engaged?" Johanna asked by way of greeting.

Aella looked at the ring on her finger, the ring she'd looked at with such love and happiness for days, and said, "I'm so selfish. I feel like an imposter."

"What makes you selfish?" Johanna asked, genuinely curious as she looked at her, at the ring, "Because you finally got to experience some happiness? Because you got to escape reality for a week and feel better... feel good about yourself."

"There are people dying, Johanna." She whispered hoarsely, lifting her guilt ridden eyes to meet her best friends stoic gaze.

"Not by force, Aella," Johanna reminded her, "they are fighting by choice... fighting for this better world you and so many others have inspired them to fight for."

She shook her head, "It doesn't make it any better."

"No," Johanna agreed. They were still dying. Every death was abhorrent, she knew it herself, "but they are dying because they believe that we can do this. They're dying so that their children, their children's children can live in a world where the Hunger Games and President Snow do not exist. Yes, you inspired them to join this war but you did not force them to those front lines."

Her eyes were wide when she stuttered, "I—"

"You have sacrificed so much for this rebellion, Aella, this War," She said, "Those people out there know that. Seeing you happy, seeing you getting engaged to the love of your life, seeing you dancing at your best friends wedding is something that I'm sure will make them happy. They won't resent you for this. What you have done is already more than enough." She shrugged one shoulder, "If anything they'll be glad you're finally getting the time you need to heal and recover."

If it weren't for the guilt consuming her whole she would've stopped to analyse her words. Johanna knew more than she was letting on—knew more than what she cared to admit. It wasn't important, not in that moment in time. But her words of reassurance where enough to ease the guilt, enough to allow her to relax back into her body a little until she saw Daniel and Clio cutting their wedding cake together.

She grimaced as they cut through the frosting, "I haven't seen Peeta since...since the accident."

Johanna clenched her jaw and nodded. She knew it had taken a toll on Aella, more than what she cared to admit. Knew that every time she had looked at her hand in that cast before it had been removed—knew when she looked at the fresh scar on her arm—she had some form of flashback from the Capitol. It hadn't been fear of Peeta that had stopped her from visiting. It had been fear of not being able to help him.

"I've been in once or twice." Johanna admitted then.

Aella's wide eyes slid over to her again and she inhaled sharply, "You have?" She asked, "How is—"

"He's fine, Aella, I promise." Johanna responded reassuringly, "Asked about you all the time. I told him about the accident, of course, and he said he was sorry for it all but I told him that you were healing and that was why you couldn't visit." She shrugged, "You can throw everything you've got into helping him Aella, into figuring out a way to bring him back, but you need to heal yourself, too."

She nodded solemnly and looked down to the ring on her finger. It had been a welcome weight on her shoulders. It had blanketed her with comfort, "I am," She responded quietly before swallowing and saying, "Every night I find it easier than the last to open up to Finnick, to talk about some of the things that went on down there."

She inhaled sharply, "Sometimes it's something stupid like playing eye-spy in a dark cell to distract ourselves from feeling like we were freezing to death. Sometimes I tell him about some of the things they did to me." She put her hands into her pockets and lifted her chin, "There will be things I won't ever be able to talk about...even with him, but I am getting better."

"Good." Johanna nodded and she reciprocated the action and they fell into comfortable silence, watching everyone dance to the music as cake was passed around.

Aella remained standing by her best friends side for few minutes until Katniss Everdeen silently approached from behind, standing beside her.

Aella swore she saw Johanna's lips curve into a small smirk out the corner of her eyes when she sighed and said, "You saw Peeta, didn't you?" Katniss looked at Johanna—as silent as she had arrived—and didn't say anything, "Did you tell him "hi" for me? We're old friends, you know. We had opposing cells in the capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams."

Aella's eyes narrowed as she hissed, "Johanna." The memories she resurfaced were not welcome, she reminded them of such as she took a calming breath and focused on the merriment around her.

"I'm going to kill Snow." Katniss said to them, eyes ahead.

Aella looked at Johanna, their gazes clashing as they shared a silent conversation of shock. It wasn't a statement, it was a promise.

After a moment, Aella looked sideways at Katniss and said, "Come again?"

"Nothing good is safe while he's alive and I can't make another speech about it." She said, "No more cameras....No more propos. No more games.... He needs to see my eyes when I kill him."

Johanna's lips stretched into a full smirk as she sniggered, "Now you're talking."

Katniss merely glanced at her, at Aella and said, "Find a way to the Capitol when everybody's looking the other way."

"Clever." Aella nodded, staring ahead.

"I hear the medics talking." Johanna said, "They're shipping supplies for the front line from hangar two around midnight tonight. Medicine, painkillers. I was gonna go steal some for myself—

Aella rolled her eyes, "Of course you were."

Johanna merely scowled at her for a second before fixing her attention back on Katniss and continuing, "I guess I could just stay here and...cover for you."

As Johanna turned to Katniss the woman looked sideways to the two best friends. Aella merely glanced at her, hands still deep in her pockets and said, "As long as he ends up dead," She said quietly, "it makes it more bearable."

More bearable to see him dead at the hands of her comrade. If she hadn't of been tortured in the Capitol for so long she might've been inclined to join her but she had no desire to step foot on those borders for a very long time.

"Anybody can kill anybody, Katniss. Even a president." Johanna said, "You just have to be willing to sacrifice yourself."

Aella glanced at her one final time, "Just make sure you tell him I send my regards."

Katniss nodded at that.

"Go on. Don't you want Snow to see you dance?" Johanna taunted, pushing her forward toward the crowd again and it was only Finnick who realised where Katniss had come from when she joined in. He glanced over at Aella and Johanna but they were too busy looking at each other, lips curved in a small smirk he hadn't seen in a long time. A smirk that normally meant she knew something he didn't.

And in their silence Aella nodded once and breathed, "She's going to kill him."

Johanna nodded with her and said, "Good riddance."

• • •

Aella had found it in herself to join the revelry of Daniel and Clio's wedding again and she had danced long into the night with her fiancée and her friends, enjoying every moment of it.

Unfortunately the merriment of the wedding had long since passed in the days that followed and Aella fell back into the real world with a sickening thud. News of Katniss arriving on the front lines had spread like wildfire the morning after the wedding and at breakfast Finnick had merely raised a brow at Aella silently asking her if she knew anything about it. She had merely shrugged innocently in response, Johanna silent beside her.

She found herself walking around the hospital hands deep in her pockets. She had finished another therapy session with Dr. Steven, actually stating to make progress, when she decided it was time to see Peeta again. It didn't take her long to get it arranged. Dr. Vann was on hand to bring her up to date with Peeta's condition. He was doing well and Aella saw it for herself when she looked through the one-way windows and saw the restrains were gone. Her throat bobbed at the sight—hope filling her.

Aella barely paid any more attention to Dr. Vann until she was unlocking the door and holing it open for her. She took slow, careful, steps into Peeta's room. He looked over at the first noise, back straight as if he'd been caught off guard but he relaxed when he saw her there.

He rose from the table he'd been sat at and Aella saw an abundance of paints, paintbrushes and easels scattered across the table. Painting. He had been painting. Her heart clenched at the sight.

Before she had the chance to speak his arms were around her, hugging her tightly. She managed to wrap her arms around his body, dropping her head into his shoulder, "I'm sorry it's been so long."

A brief moment—that's all their embrace was. Peeta pulled away quickly and his eyes were wide and ridden with guilt but...they were clear. Aella wasn't staring at hazed and unfocused eyes anymore. Peeta was looking at her with clarity. Sane... he seemed.. him.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He breathed so delicately, "I-I-I didn't mean it. I didn't even realised I had until they told me."

"It's okay." She soothed him softly. Her hand rested gently on his shoulder and she continued to stare into those clear eyes, "Peeta, I don't blame you."

He faltered and the guilt lanced through his face. It pained Aella to even see it.

"I just..." He fell short, "You didn't come see me. They said you were healing."

"I was," she breathed and this time it was her whose eyes clouded with guilt, "I am." She corrected herself, "I'm still healing, Peeta... mentally."

In that moment he understood. The very small part of his brain he knew was totally and utterly himself told him day after day that she would never leave him. The poison screamed she had abandoned him but deep down, Peeta knew she never would.

His throat bobbed and he looked at that hand on his shoulder, the one that had been broken far too many times now, and said, "It's healed?"

"Well, I'm told." She nodded, "A little stiff after the operation but to be expected." And when she saw his face falter she added with a smug smile, "I can still pack a punch."

Just one though. One combination before her strength depleted instantaneously but with every day it was building. She was re-building, she was gaining back that muscle and weight she'd lost, she was eating every scrap of that food she liked to complain about on her plate and she was getting better. She would be entirely grateful to Boggs for sanctioning her time to spar with Daniel and re-train in private. She found it worked wonders for her mentally, too.

Peeta merely nodded and he said, "Do you want to sit down?"

He gestured to the table against the wall with paint scattered all over it and she nodded with a smile, "I'd love to."

Silently she followed him over and it wasn't until they were seated did she decide to show him the ring on her finger. He took her hand with such gentleness and looked at it while she told him about how Finnick had proposed and she gave him with the promise she'd find someone to show him the propaganda video.

Their conversation moved swiftly on to Clio and Daniel's wedding—they focused heavily on the cake Peeta had decorated. He had shown her the designs he'd sketched for it and spoke about how relaxing it had been, how normal it made him feel. He'd spent his hours painting none stop ever since, finding it as some kind of tether to his real life.

He had mixed colours together while he spoke until Aella found herself staring at a beautiful shade of sunrise orange. Her breath had hitched in her throat as Peeta swiped the colour across a canvas and said, "Your favourite colour is sunrise orange?"

Her lips had trembled so hard all she could manage was a nod of her head.

He was deciphering things for himself, figuring out what he remembered and all.

She remembered why she was there in the first place. She continued to watch Peeta paint when she sat back in her chair and said, "You know I keep having the same recurrent nightmare over and over again, every single night."

Peeta barely glanced at her, so engrossed in his painting but he did say, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's not of...the Capitol." Was her response and when he lifted his chin and arched his brow curiously she shook her head and swallowed. Her throat bobbed as she whispered, "It's of my Games."

He set the paintbrush down, focused his gaze on her and said again, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Aella nodded hesitantly, "I used to have it all the time after.... For about a year. It settled down to once every week or so but then when I ever fell asleep at home while I had been on the phone to Finnick I didn't have it. I didn't have any here before the Capitol but now I've come back I can't seem to shake it. It's so vivid it's like it happened just yesterday."

Peeta swallowed, "Do you think they...tampered with it?"

She shook her head firmly, "No...No, I know they didn't. I've managed to figure out the ones that aren't real have this kind of glare over them, this haze. It's hard to explain but—"

"It's like they're blurry." Peeta said over her softly and when she raised her brow he continued, "Like the picture of them is ultra bright and realistic?"

"Yeah..." She nodded, "How—?"

"The last few days I started having these flashbacks. Like parts of my memory are unlocking. Some of these flashbacks are already memories I have... or thought I had so I compared them. I realised the memories I already had were different somehow, I just can't tell if they're real or not."

Aella gave him a supportive smile, "I can help you with that."

"You can?"

She nodded, "All you have to do is ask. A game. Real or not real. You have a memory you're uncertain of you ask if it's real or not. Anyone around you can help you. Anyone. All you've got to do is ask and then hopefully we can help you figure out the real memories from the fake ones."

Peeta nodded slowly in understanding and said, "You're having recurrent nightmares about something that happened in your Games. Real or not real?"

She shook her head with a ghost of a smile but said, "Real."

He held her gaze, "And you want to talk about it. Real or not real?"

He hesitated for a moment and her eyes cast down to the ring on her finger when she whispered, "Real."

"I'm listening." Peeta said supportively, picking up his paintbrush again and making idle strokes across the paper.

"It's from the last day." She said quietly, "Nyle and I had ran out of water and I knew there was a supply nearby. He was already injured. Nila, the girl from District Three, had shot him with an arrow the day prior and it had gone into his leg. I killed her before she could fire the second arrow she had knocked but Nyle was pretty badly hurt.

"I managed to somehow get him into one of the sturdier buildings and we were hiding out on the third level. He was sixteen and double both my height and weight but I still managed to drag him up those stairs. I had to use the last of my water to clean the wound and he ran out through the night. There were seven tributes left including us two and I decided it was better to go hunting for fresh water before the sun came up,"

She pushed her hand through her hair and exhaled, "One of the few things Haymitch taught me was to hunt through the night for things like food and water, especially if it was a tropics or a desert. It was easier to search when it was dark, when it wasn't as hot. So I set out. I left Nyle knowing there was fresh water nearby and said I'd be back before sunrise,

"There were seven tributes left. Half way to the spot the cannon sounded. I had no idea who it was. I knew three Careers were still alive and two others. I just hoped it wasn't Nyle. I almost ran back to check but the last thing he had said to me before I'd left was that if I heard the cannon to not come back. That I should keep going, refill out water and only then go back. So I did...

"There was a tiny stream that was well hidden but the water was fresh. I refilled and was on my way back just as dawn was breaking. The journey was open at times with it being a desert. The stream was located on the west side of the arena and there were no buildings to hide in over that side. I think it's why they put the only fresh water stream there. So we would risk going into open space and being caught.

"I was half way back when Corvin appeared out of nowhere," she rubbed her temple, recalling the fight that followed, "he was from District Ten. Big, tall... a brute, really. Oldest tribute in the Games at eighteen... eighteen. He'd been so close to escaping it all, it was his last reaping at yet his name was picked." She shook her head, "He was a farmer so you can imagine how big he was."

Peeta nodded, "For some reason I'm picturing Brutus."

She exhaled deeply, exasperation on her face as she nodded, "You're not far off, I mean, he was something stupid like six-four and weighed almost two-hundred and thirty pounds.... He was pure muscle. Nyle was twice my size, Corvin was triple my size and he was angry, too. Nyle had killed his District partner and I guess he wanted to repay the favour.

"I just remember him running toward me with his ax. This is when the nightmare starts. I still don't know to this day how I ever beat him. When I saw him coming at me I froze—actually froze—and remember thinking as clear as day that I was going to die." She shrugged, "I honestly believed that was it for me but somehow... I don't know, someone was watching over me that's all I can think." She admitted.

"His death took us down to five tributes left—me included. The sun was just rising when I got back to that building I'd left Nyle in when I heard voices. I hid." She closed her eyes and shook her head, "Like a coward, I hid behind a broken wall and I watched... the Careers had Nyle cornered. They were circling him like vultures, all three of them and Nyle somehow managed to catch my eye through it all and he gave me the signal to run and leave him but I couldn't.

"I couldn't move for fear. He had killed Odius—the boy from District Two—two nights prior and they were out for his blood. They made him bleed... and I was frozen to the spot the entire time." She released a heavy breath, "I hear his screams. I remember the way they hurt him. They tortured him until he was begging them to kill him and I couldn't take it anymore. I had two daggers left after my fight with Corvin and I took one in shaky hands and threw it."

"What happened next?" Peeta asked softly as silver lined her eyes.

Aella swallowed the lump in her throat, "It hit home. The canon sounded and...and Nyle died."

Peeta was stunned to silence until he recovered enough to say, "You-you..."

Aella nodded solemnly as a tear slid down her face. Her eyes were glued to the table when she wiped her tear away and whispered hoarsely, "I killed him."

Peeta shook his head, "No. No, you didn't." And when she looked at him with furrowed brows and confused eyes he went on to say, "You spared him. You granted him mercy those Careers wouldn't have. You ended your friend's suffering, Aella. That's something not even the strongest of us can do."

She shrugged—slightly numb inside—and said, "It doesn't feel that way."

"It likely never will." He replied.

"People thanked me for doing it." She whispered delicately, "His mother actually hugged me and thanked me for having mercy on him...for sparing him from the Careers. Then she thanked me for killing them, too. I hated it... being thanked for killing people."

Peeta did the math in his head—counted the kills he knew she had made and once again found himself surprised by her. He didn't even have the correct number but the six he knew of spoke for itself, especially when she was only fourteen. But that haunted look on her face...

"You regret it. Real or not real."

"Real." She choked and brought her arms around herself in an embrace, "I regret them all."

Something triggered in Peeta's memories then. Flashes of a green forest, of a body on the muddy ground. A girl with red hair, a patch of berries in her hand.

His brows furrowed as he looked at Aella again, "In my Games..." he began slowly, "there was a girl, I think her name was Foxface...?"

"Real." Aella nodded, meeting his gaze, "Her real name was Kayas but, yes, she was real."

Peeta's eyes flickered to the table, to his painting, "She stole some berries out of my pocket and ate them. They killed her?"

"Real."

But the memory was still coming and Peeta was still trying to figure it out, "A-and Katniss was there," Aella tensed as Peeta's tone turned slightly harsh. He continued, "She was shouting for me and when she found me she was crying?"

"Real." Aella said softly, "It's all real."

Peeta's face twisted. Mild anger mixed with heavy confusion as he looked at her deeply and said, "Why was she crying over me?"

Aella levelled Peeta with an honest expression and simply said, "Because she cares about you."

A deep silence came between them. Aella didn't once look away from Peeta while he seemed to be trying to decipher things. She remained quiet until he asked her his next question and the question after that and the question after that and with each question Aella saw more clarity appear within Peeta. It was working—Finnick's tactic.

She stayed for another hour, most of it spent with Peeta asking her small things she knew and her telling him whether it was real or not. The deeper, more personal, questions were harder. There were some things even she did not know about him, about his previous relationship with Katniss.

When she said goodbye it was with the promise of returning the next day to see him and finding someone to show him the propaganda video that had been made of she and Finnick's engagement. It didn't take her long to get it sorted out for him and then she was walking back to the living quarters feeling lighter than she had in a very long time.

There was a genuine smile on her face when she reached the quarters. Things were getting better—slowly but surely they were all healing and that was all she cared about. Two of the most important people in her life were married. She was engaged to her soulmate and she and her best friends were healing.

The rare feeling of happiness was all consuming but when she opened the door to she and Finnick's room her arrival made him stop dead in his tracks—in his pacing. His pale face and wide eyes was enough to make her feel like she was falling again.

Johanna was sitting on the edge of their bed, eyes fixated on the ground. Clio was in one of the chairs behind the table, face so pale there was a green tinge and Daniel was beside her—raging fire lighting up his eyes.

Aella's heart stopped. The bite of the cold door handle against her warm skin was the only thing keeping her tied to reality.

"W-what's going on?" She trembled, eyes zeroing in on Finnick as he looked at her in love and grief and apology.

And her entire world crashed around her when he said, "President Coin is sending me out to join the War."

• • •

A/N; Here we go! Next update Friday...