AELLA RELEASED A HEAVY SIGH,
"I just..." she shook her head and sat back against her bed, staring at the ceiling, "I can't figure out a way to get through to him."

It had been a week and a half since she had last seen Peeta, since he had broken her hand so badly when he remembered Katniss being a murderous mutt. Each day she spent trying to figure out how to help him and each day she came up with nothing. She used it as a distraction to not think about the bombing that had occurred in District Five three nights ago—used it to not think about her home with the majority memories and photographs of her family inside that had been destroyed. Her childhood home still remained but that one was gone for good.

She still hadn't decided if it were a blessing or a curse.

Finnick shrugged. He occupied the chair next to her bed, his legs crossed on the bed as he lounged comfortably. They'd been at it for hours, or rather she had. He'd tried to divert her on several different occasions but nothing had worked. They'd paid Peeta a visit together but Aella physically wasn't allowed in to see him. It didn't matter if Peeta had spent every waking hour asking everyone if she was okay. Apparently after they'd told him what he'd done he remembered hurting her—recalled it immediately after and yet the doctors still refused to let her in to see him. Even just to reassure him that she was fine.

They were cruel and Aella hated them all. 

"You said you can tell between what is real and what is not by that haze you talk about." Finnick said, "Maybe try that."

"But the second I remind him about those memories they implanted in his brain he goes crazy." She countered.

He removed his feet from her bed and placed them on to the ground, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees. He sighed deeply, rubbing his face and tired eyes. This had been his life for far longer than he cared to admit now. The walls of her secluded hospital room were beginning to drive him crazy. He just wanted to get back to normalcy and so did Aella but for whatever stupid reason they were hesitant on discharging her. She was doing well, getting better with every day. She had even started opening up to Dr. Steven. There was no clinical need for her to be in a hospital anymore.

Dr. Vann and Dr. Steven were dragging their asses about it and both Aella and Finnick were getting restless, especially when they wouldn't let her do anything or go anywhere.

He clasped his hands together again, his brain a ball of mush and said, "Heavensbee said they've been showing Peeta videos of Katniss..that he remembers her. We know he didn't try to kill her or go crazy when she went to see him yesterday. That's progress."

"He still said some pretty hurtful things to her." She frowned, looking at him pointedly.

Finnick shook his head and leaned back in his chair, "He said if he could change it he wouldn't of took his mother's beating for giving her the bread."

"That he wished he gave it to the pigs!" She rolled her eyes in exasperation, "But she was starving and it was pouring down with rain! He gave it to her knowing he'd get into trouble," Aella argued as if she was there and remembered it as such, "Him saying that to her...it was so un-Peeta like."

"Ella—"

She arched her brow, "Would you have given me the bread and took the beating?"

He ground his teeth together, "Aella—"

"Is that a no?" She pushed, eyes narrowing into slits.

In one quick motion he stood up and moved for her bed. His hands grabbed her thighs and he pulled her towards him and into his lap. She stared up at him slightly breathless from shock but as she recovered her eyes narrowed again and her mouth opened to protest but he beat her to it.

He dipped his chin, eyes flickering from her full lips to her ocean blue gaze and he said, "You know I would give you the damn bread."

"You don't seem so certain about it." She pushed—teased.

"I'd give you the bread." He said lowly and brushed his lips over hers. Her hands fisted his shirt as he pulled his head back an inch to search for her eyes again, "I'd give you the bread if it was the last piece of food on this earth and I was starving."

She hummed against his lips in what he perceived to be approval or delight and a shudder tore down his spine. They hadn't been this close—this flirtatious and intimate since she was captured. They'd shared kisses but only brief and fleeting. This—the way she gripped his shirt, sat on his lap, the hooded gaze in her eyes. He didn't think she would ever look at him like that, allow him to be so intimately close to her, for a very long time and now that she had...

He cleared his head and pulled back only to see the frown that pulled at her features. Something similar to hurt flashed in her eyes and she shifted—made to move off his lap—but his hands curled tighter around her body.

His expression warned her not to move, not as he said, "Do not think of it as that, Ella." He ran his hand down her back lovingly and said lowly, "I'm... thrilled that you're ready, that you want to but it would be rather savage-like of us to do it here. I want it to be some place private, like our apartment, for instance, where I can take my time and if I have to wait another day or two than that is fine with me."

She nodded hearing his words, the hurt in her eyes disappeared and the love-filled lust returned. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply, lips connecting as his mouth opened and her tongue swept across his lip. A taste of what was promised between them. She pulled back far sooner than he would've liked her to and in his displeasure he squeezed her thigh. She grinned, lips and face twisting into something mischievous that made his heart soar and said, "Later, then."

He merely nodded, awe flooding into his veins and eyes as he beheld her. Her beauty and mischief he never thought he'd see again. He drank it in, savoured it and nodded before sparing themselves and saying, "You changed the subject."

Her mischievous grin turned into a slight scowl and she shook her head, "I think you'll find, Mr. Odiar, that it was you who grabbed me like a savage."

He shook his head, "I don't recall that."

"No?" She posed and hummed, "If only there was anything I could do to jog your memory."

He pinched the back of her thigh jokingly and she hissed at him. Amusement laced his tone, his smile, as he laughed and said, "We're so far off track it's ridiculous."

She rubbed her thigh and said, "You're right. Where were we?"

"Arguing over whether I'd give you the bread." He snorted.

They didn't move from their position. Aella's hands folded in her lap as Finnick rested his at the bottom of her back. Wisely, she didn't say anything else about the bread. She didn't say anything at all and Finnick knew she was desperately trying to come up with something to help Peeta.

"Peeta is starting to respond to Katniss in a more normal way," He began, trying to pull her out of the rabbit warren she'd fallen into, "so we let them continue showing him footage of her, of the both of them in both of their Games and the Victory Tour. We let him recondition himself to her while we recondition him into figuring out what is real and what is not real... the same way you're doing, the same way Annie has been doing it for years."

She nodded, "By asking."

"Anything he wants to know he asks and you tell him if it's real or not real and in the meantime we help him navigate which of his memories are fake and which are not."

She picked at a loose thread on his shirt and mumbled, "Did it really work for Annie all those years?"

Finnick nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear and saying, "It kept her sane, yes."

She swallowed thickly in response. If it worked for Annie, it would work for her and it would work for Peeta.... Wouldn't it?

Speaking of Annie... she hadn't seen or heard from her in a while. Her brows pulled into a frown when she looked at him, "Have you seen Annie lately?"

He nodded, "She asks about you everyday. Being around hospitals and people in white coats... it makes her anxious. She wants to visit but every time she's gotten to the entrance and seen it she freaks out."

She shook her head in understanding, "No, I get it." She said, "I think I'd be the same... I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't." He responded soothingly.

"But.. she's okay?"

Finnick nodded, "She's doing great. Clio and Daniel seem to like her and she's getting on well with Sam—"

"Sam?" She frowned in confusion.

Finnick mirrored her expression until he remembered that when Annie had told Aella she was being shown around by Sam that one time she'd braved it to see her was when she had that episode.

"Ah, yes. You don't remember, do you?" He said.

"Remember what?"

"Annie came to see you one time during your.. episode—"

She gave him a flat stare, "You mean when I didn't talk, sleep, or eat for five days straight."

"Yes." He said quickly, "She told you about how she was settling in. At the time Sam had been appointed as her tour guide but every time I've seen her she's been with him. They're always smiling and she's always laughing at whatever he's saying to her. Coin gave her the room next to his and I figured that because I was going to be here with you all the time I'd teach Sam everything I knew about helping Annie when she couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't."

Her eyes flickered over his shoulder and she stared. Finnick wondered if Aella knew Sam had deep routed feelings for her. It wasn't obvious but he had figured it out. He wondered if that was what she was thinking about then as she pondered—so deep in her thoughts.

"Annie... and Sam?" She almost asked, testing it on her tongue—thinking about the possibility of it.

Finnick only nodded, "If I didn't know any better myself I'd say they're smitten." He said, "Sal loves her and Natalia gets on well with her."

He wondered if she was thinking Annie had stepped into her place, thought about what he would say to reassure her otherwise but when he saw the small smile brightening her face he extinguished those thoughts.

"Annie and Sam." She repeated and nodded to herself, "Good for them."

But she said nothing about Sam and his feelings toward her so he didn't either. If she didn't know it was Sam's call to make not his and if Sam didn't ever want Aella to know that was fine by him too. All that mattered to him was that she was safe and healing and knowing that she was doing so with him and all her family around her was enough.

It was more than enough.

•    •    •

Two days later Aella and Johanna were both discharged from the hospital after almost four long weeks of recovery. The latter in their friendship group wasn't entirely thrilled to be discharged.

Johanna had already admitted to Aella with a scowl on her face that she had no idea where she'd get her morphling from now. Aella—ever her brutally honest best friend knowing she could get away with such words—told her that perhaps she needed to pay a visit to the very depths of the District where she knew Haymitch Abernathy had gotten sober.

Johanna had given her a vulgar gesture in return.

But Aella had never been happier to be saying goodbye to that room, that hospital, those white pyjamas and putting on that District uniform she hated with an absolute passion. She swore that when the war was over and they had hopefully won she would burn every set of those trousers and shirts in a huge bonfire. Both Finnick and Clio had agreed to do the same.

Johanna had been assigned the empty apartment next to Aella and Finnick's but for that first night she had decided to leave her two best friends to it. It had been hard on them trying to patch up what had been broken from Aella's trauma. She had seen from across the hall countless times as Finnick had taken a moment to himself outside her room after she flinched when he touched her hand. She'd woken up to her horrific screams of pain and fear and jumped out of her own bed to rush to her when Finnick could not calm her down.

They still had a long way to go but watching them smile at each other at dinner—so lost in one another's gaze they could've been the only two in the room—Johanna knew they were on the right path. She also knew that they deserved one night completely alone, not having had that privacy in over two months.

The second Finnick closed their door behind them he turned to find Aella standing in the centre of their room silently looking around. She looked at the grey table and chairs to her left that they'd never used. The shoe rack and coat hangers on the wall to her right. She walked a little further, her steps light against the white hard wood floor. She saw the door leading to their bathroom—the shower that was barely big enough for them both but somehow, one wild morning before her capture they had made it work.

She turned to her left, to the open archway leading to their bedroom and staring at the dresser they shared with numerous sets of the same uniform inside. She looked at the double bed pushed against the grey wall, soft wall lights illuminating their bed. Their bed that was unmade and... that was her shirt lying on his side of the bed, her pillow lying in the middle. A soft frown pulled her brows together as she looked at it all.

Finnick had not slept in their bed since she had been rescued. He had spent every night with her in that hospital either sharing her small bed, dosing in a chair or sleeping on the cot they sometimes had brought in for him. So, if he hadn't slept in that bed since her rescue, it had been four weeks almost of it left like this. Of the shirt on the bed she really did not remember leaving there the morning she left for District Eight.

His soft footsteps echoed in her head and he stopped beside her, his hand held her waist while his other rose to her face. He delicately brushed the back of his finger against her cheekbone, against small twin white scars. She felt his breath on her neck, felt the tickle of his messy tresses against her temple as he leaned his forehead there. She heard him take a deep breath through his nose before he exhaled.

She found herself doing the same. Citrus fruit and fresh water overwhelmed her, settled into her very bones and lulled her body to serenity. She leaned into him slightly at the scent of him—completely natural and so intoxicating.

"The day they told me you had gone I never thought I'd smell your lavender and jasmine again," He admitted so softly, so quietly. His voice was a mere whisper in her ears, "I came back here so empty. You were all over this room, everywhere I looked I could see you, smell you. Your drawers were still open, your pyjamas were still on the floor from that morning..."

She inhaled deeply, the memories all flooding back. She remembered exactly what it was they'd done before she'd gone to District Eight, remembered how she had whispered into his ear on that hovercraft that he owed her one before he walked off and left her thinking she'd be back in a few hours and they could pick up where they left off.

"Your shirt was rumpled up in your drawer and before I could stop myself I was picking it up and smelling it. The lavender and jasmine was still there and your pillow...it was strongest on your pillow. I—I slept with it every night and I would lie in the dark and close my eyes and think of you. Not of what they were doing to you there, but of every time I ever saw you smile, or heard you laugh—your real laugh, not that fake one you used to do. I would lie there every night and promise myself that one day I wouldn't have to reach for your pillow, that I would reach for you."

Reach for her because that was what he was doing as he spoke. He was holding her instead of her pillow, instead of her shirt because this was...

Her breath hitched in her throat and she stuttered to say, "Real or not real."

"Go ahead," he said softly, "count your fingers."

She rose her hands as Finnick's arms slid tighter around her body and sure enough she counted ten.

Real. She was real. This was real.

A tear rolled down her cheek while she leaned fully into him and allowed him to hold her. They stood like that for longer than either of them cared to admit, just breathing one another in and when they at last climbed into their bed together their bodies intwined again and fitted together like the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle.

The soft light by the door remained on, just bright enough for Aella to be able to see around her. To calm her if she woke up in the night and panicked but even as Finnick's fingers stopped drawing circles against her back and his breath evened out she found herself too afraid to fall asleep. A long few hours of tossing and turning, staring at the grey walls and ceiling ensued and her eyes were burning when Finnick woke up to use the bathroom.

She was laid on her back staring at the ceiling above her and he rolled on to his side, looking at her with one sleepy eye open and the other shut, "Hey," He said softly, "why aren't you sleeping?"

"I can't." She admitted quietly.

"Stay here." He instructed her softly and disappeared quickly to the bathroom. Not two minutes later he was crawling back into bed with her, his arms reaching for her light body and pulling him into her. She rested her head against the top of his chest, tucking under his chin and her leg hooked over his. Her hand wove into his while his other traced soothing patterns on her back again, right over the healed scars, "Tell me what's up." He said softly.

"I'm too scared to go to sleep." Her voice was the same dull hoarse it had been a few minutes ago and he frowned.

"Why?"

Her thumb ran idly over the back of his hand, "Because I'm scared I have a nightmare and wake up trying to hurt you."

He shifted to press a kiss to her hair, "How many nights did we share a bed in the hospital and you woke up from a nightmare?"

"Almost every night." She admitted. Every night—especially in those first weeks—but slowly the nightmares were disappearing. She hadn't had one in a week.

He nodded even though she couldn't see him, "And how many times did you try to hurt me?"

"Never." Her voice cracked.

"You're not going to hurt me, Ella." He said softly, reassuringly, "I'm here to protect you from the nightmares, yeah? That's my job."

A ghost of a smile twisted her lips, "My big scary boyfriend fighting the nightmares away."

"Exactly." He agreed even though he heard the amusement in her words, "So sleep. I've got you and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're safe here."

She nodded and repeated, "I'm safe here."

And no more than five minutes later she was asleep, her soft snores echoing through the room as Finnick held her all night.

She didn't have any nightmares that night, or the night after, or the night after that...

•   •   •

Aella loosed a light sigh as their laughter drew to a steady stop. The trio stared at the ceiling in silence and the air around them grew solemn once again. The happiness and joviality didn't last long like always. The conversation was over and none of them knew how to start another one, knew what to say to try and keep the mood light. But Aella's thoughts had always started drifting south and she couldn't contain them.

She was sick of the walls around her day in and day out. Sick of breathing the same circulated air. Sick of not feeling the sun on her face or looking up and seeing the sky. She hated being trapped. Hated hearing about the War and its progression.

"I want this to be over." She admitted truthfully, her words a whisper on her lips, "I'm so tired."

Because all it had been in the days since she had been discharged from hospital were meetings after meetings with regards to the War. President Coin hadn't once asked her if she was okay. She had just demanded her presence up in the conference rooms to quiz and question her about the Capitol and their movements, strategies—anything she could remember that would be of use to them.

Aella had silently got up from her chair and walked out, leaving the door open behind her.

All she cared about, really, was District Five's wounded following the bombing on the West of the District. She had asked about it but Coin didn't even give her an answer on it. She either didn't care to know about how many wounded or dead there were or didn't care to tell her about them. It enraged her, along with the prying for any information from the Capitol—as if she'd know any when they kept her locked in a cell and sedated almost twenty-four seven.

She just wanted a normal life, free of war and tyranny.

Finnick pressed closer to her and nuzzled his head into her neck before kissing her cheek, "I know." He said simply, his arms cradling her.

"We never asked for this." She said, eyes still fixated on the ceiling in a faraway expression. Johanna recognised that expression, those eyes. She saw the lack of hope swirling there, the exhaustion... She'd seen Aella do this before in those cells, so many damn times had she watched her fall into a far away land and think.

"We didn't." Johanna agreed with her and in a rare form of affection she took Aella's free hand—the one that wasn't entwined in Finnick's—and held on tight. The three of them laid there, bodies and souls entwined... three best friends as they would be forever until they separated.

"For any of it." Aella said hoarsely.

"No." Finnick mumbled quietly.

A lone tear rolled down her face and into her hair but she said, "We'll kill him... one of us has to, for everything he's taken from us."

Finnick brushed a kiss over her temple, where her tear streak was drying, "We will."

Johanna sat up fractionally to look at Finnick and Aella curled together. Her heart soared to see them together, finally free to show their love for one another but she felt the mood of her friends. She knew they needed distraction from how shitty life was currently treating them all so she scowled in mild disgust and said, "God, you two are unbearable."

Finnick and Aella looked at her in exasperation before they scowled themselves, "Shut up." They said over each other.

"I hate you." Johanna rumbled, "Both of you."

"Like hell you do." Aella snorted, "Without us you'd be bored as fuck."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right."

"She's telling the truth." Finnick said as he looked at his best friend, "Your life would be awful without us."

Johanna scowled but after a minute her expression softened. She looked to where she still held Aella's hand and dropped it before sitting up fully and leaning against the wall, "Maybe you're right."

"We are." Aella nodded, looking up at her friend, "Absolutely, definitely, hundred percent—"

"Okay, okay." Johanna interrupted watching the smile spread across Aella's lips, "So maybe we've got that old asshole to thank for one thing, hm?"

"Oh, no." Aella frowned sarcastically, "No I'd never thank him. I hate you both. You do my absolute head in."

"Take that back, right now." Finnick challenged with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He rose to sit up against the side wall he'd been forced to cram against.

Aella gaped, "Why are you two ganging up on me?" She exasperated, sitting up herself and turning on the bed to face them, "This is not fair at all."

They both chuckled and just like that the somber mood had lifted again. The light in Aella's eyes returned as she crossed her legs underneath her.

Johanna looked at the cast on Aella's arm and a hazed, drunken, memory slipped into her mind. She chuckled to herself, looking between her two best friends and said, "Remember that time you fell off the bar stool absolutely wasted and broke your wrist."

Finnick's own memory hit him and he howled with laughter, remembering seeing her lunge for him and miss.

Their counterpart blushed, red embarrassment dusting her cheeks and her eyes narrowed as she scowled at Finnick. She lunged forward toward him—exactly like she had done the night she fell—and hit his shoulder with her right hand. The one she had broke all those years ago.

"It was your fault you asshole, why are you laughing?"

Johanna broke out into a fit of laughter, tears streaming down her face that Aella did not appreciate.

"It's not funny." She snapped, "Stop laughing! Clio nearly strangled me when I got back to the apartment the next morning."

And it was true, she had. She still remembered her words when she stumbled in the next morning. Something about it being a good job the Games had already started and she didn't have to mentor with a broken hand. But in the end, they all looked back and laughed.

It wasn't always awful, just the majority of the time. But on those rare occasions where they got to pretend they didn't live in a world full of corruption and tyranny they found they had made the best memories.

That year in particular—when Aella had broken her wrist—was the year before she realised she was in love with Finnick. They'd all done horribly in the Games. Aella's tributes had died in the first two days. Johanna's and Finnick's hadn't done any better and they'd taken to the bar day after day.

They drank themselves stupid and got themselves into fights—namely with the Careers—and woke up on each other's sofas with menacing headaches and brain fog.

They did it every year. It was the only time the three of them had an excuse to be together. Travelling between Districts was too much of a hassle and Finnick was always in the Capitol anyways. But when the Games came around and their tributes were in the arena Aella, Johanna and Finnick got to be best friends. They got to make those memories and drink and laugh and learn to love each other in their own ways.

Aella hated the Hunger Games and everything they signified but she would always be grateful that they brought Johanna and Finnick to her.

That would be something she would always be thankful for. She knew that without them, her life wouldn't be worth living. They had found each other in the darkest places at the worst times in their lives but the friendships they had formed were unbreakable and they would remain that way forever.

So Aella could scream and rage at the world until she was blue in the face but ultimately she was still one of the lucky ones. She still had people in their twisted world who loved her, who cared for her and would go to the ends of the earth and jump off it for her. She was safe while there was a war raging on in the world outside.

And for the time being, it was good enough to keep her going.

•    •    •

A/N; it starts to pick up from here guys, I hope you're ready! Next update Wednesday!