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Castle Leoch

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The next morning, I found myself awakened by Lottie gently shaking me and calling my name. I slowly opened an eye at her. It seemed like I had just fallen asleep after spending hours reading. The book on the Scottish Highlands lay on the bed beside me, still open to the page I had been reading. I closed my eyes again. It couldn't possibly be time to get up. So I glanced out my bedroom window to find that it was still dark outside. Why on earth was she waking me now? She knew I never awoke before sunrise unless absolutely necessary.

I could hear the words Lottie had once spoken to me in jest: You'd never have survived if you married a farmer. Her words might not have been far from the truth. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.

Lottie must have known I thought it was too early to be awake because she said, "Father informed me that he was inviting Matthew for breakfast if we were planning on going out today."

I knew why she was telling me this and it wasn't because she wanted to see Matthew. "So, we're going out before he gets here then?" I asked, despite already knowing the answer to my question. She didn't respond to me, so I slowly poked my head out from beneath my blanket just enough to see her. She then turned on the light. Too bright. I dove beneath the blankets once more and hit.

She placed her hands on her hips. "A beautiful drive through the Highlands at sunrise is just what you need."

Had my eyes not still been tightly shut trying to block the light, I would have rolled them at her statement. Instead, I retorted, "You mean, it's what you need."

Lottie rolled her eyes and nodded her head before she pulled the quilts from my body. I groaned and rolled over to bury my face in the pillows. I wasn't normally this ornery. I'll confess, I certainly could be from time to time, but I had changed drastically since Stephen had taken ill. I had changed both physically and mentally, sometimes I hardly recognized the person I had become. I wanted to be the person I was before Stephen, but I wasn't sure I could ever be her again.

I sighed, knowing Lottie was only trying to help before I rolled onto my back. "How long do I have?" I asked.

She smirked in victory. "About five minutes before my father wakes."

I propped myself on my elbows and nodded my head, looking at her rather curiously. She glanced at her wristwatch.

"Which should give you about twenty minutes." Lottie gently smacked my leg before she bent down and grabbed the quilt she had tossed on the floor. "This way you won't get any ideas," she said before she left the room with my quilt.

I chuckled softly before I plopped myself back against the pillows. I had no intention of falling back asleep. Partly because it took too long to do so. Another thing that had changed about me since my marriage to Stephen. Before him, I usually fell asleep once my head hit the pillow. Now, I spent most of my nights awake. But that wasn't my only reason for not going back to sleep. I knew Lottie needed me.

I knew how badly Lottie wanted to not have to meet Matthew. I can't say that I blamed her. My marriage to Stephen hadn't been based on love. Infatuation, perhaps; but also because of money. Something about him coming into a large sum of money once he married. It was only later I realized that about him. Not to mention that I inherited a fair amount after the death of my father. And being as naive as I was back then about finding someone, it all seemed to have snowballed. No, I didn't wish any part of that on Lottie.

I quickly said my prayers and got ready for the day. I left the braid in my hair from the night before and quickly dressed in clothes that would be deemed acceptable to the outside world, while still being functional for exploring the Highlands. I hadn't seen much of them, having landed in Inverness. But what I had seen thus far looked quite beautiful. They almost looked like they could heal one's soul and part of me wished that they could heal mine. But that seemed too much to ask.

Grabbing the history book from my bed, I stuffed it into my satchel along with Pride and Prejudice and Of Love and War, a memoir by Lydia Woodhull-Tallmadge. The love story of Ben and Lydia was one of my favorites. While I had no interest in my own love story at the moment, I still did enjoy reading others. I loved to read and if we had any time to rest, it might be nice to find a tree and do some reading.

Stumbling out of my room as I pulled my shoes on, I found Lottie waiting for me. Clearly, she hadn't thought I was capable of getting ready without another warning. I shot her a knowing look and she smiled before leading me downstairs. We crept quietly down the stairs, Lottie warning me which stairs to skip because they creaked. Once again, I felt very juvenile, but it was also slightly invigorating.

Lottie must have had the car pulled around already because she led me out the front door where Mrs. Campbell stood with a picnic basket. Mrs. Campbell had been with the Arbuckle family since Lottie was a child. I knew Lottie thought of the woman like an aunt and if I recalled correctly, Stephen had told me the woman was some sort of relation. Truthfully, I too liked Mrs. Campbell. She had certainly been a blessing to me since I had arrived.

If Mrs. Campbell was helping us with our early adventure, she didn't approve of the match Lottie's father was trying to make. Mrs. Campbell hugged each of us before Lottie and I hopped in the automobile. We left the Arbuckle estate just as the sun was beginning to rise and break through the clouds.

Lottie was right.

As she drove, I couldn't help but have my breath taken away by the beauty of a sunrise against the backdrop of the Scottish Highlands. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to take a mental photograph of the sight. I didn't want to forget it. It was the first time I could remember finding something truly beautiful in quite a long time. Honestly, since before my marriage to Stephen. He hadn't meant to dwindle away my joy, but that couldn't have been helped. I opened my eyes and sighed. My heart felt just the tiniest bit lighter than it had in months, perhaps even years.

When we pulled up to Castle Leoch, it wasn't anything like I had expected. Maybe the American in me or I had been told too many fairy tales growing up, but I had expected something grander. Of course, when my mind thought castle, it immediately thought of Neuschwanstein in Germany and Castle Leoch was no Neuschwanstein. The building looked decrepit and run-over. It clearly hadn't been lived in, in some time. Although, it certainly did look fascinating.

The automobile turned off. Lottie exited the car and smiled at me. I followed suit, adjusting my headscarf once my feet were firmly planted on the ground. "It's been since before the war since I've been here," Lottie acknowledged. "So, you'll forgive me for not remembering everything Mother told me about the place."

I smiled and gently patted her arm in reassurance. "You're talking to the ignorant American. You could make it all up and I wouldn't know the difference."

Lottie chuckled. "I'd hardly call you ignorant. But as far as making up the history and you not knowing? That could be completely true." Lottie smiled and looped her arm through mine. "But I won't do that to you. Now, where to start..." With her free hand, Lottie drummed her bottom lip with her fingers. She nodded her head before she started up again. "Castle Leoch was the thriving ancestral home to the laird of Clan Mackenzie but that all changed after the Battle of Culloden. Although some Mackenzies did manage to stay here until about the middle of the 19th century. But it just wasn't the same...or so I've been told." She turned and looked at me curiously. "Did you get that far? Culloden?"

I shook my head.

Lottie nodded hers, acknowledging it nearly impossible to get that far in the book in one sitting, even for such an avid reader such as myself. She cleared her throat before continuing, "Culloden was the final conflict during the Jacobite Rising of 1745...the Jacobite Rising being the Scots who fought for the true king James Stuart to reclaim Scotland's throne. Anyway, Culloden was an awful mess and we lost. The Scots were suppressed after. Their very way of life stripped from them. The Gaelic language and tartans were forbidden. It wasn't a pretty time, that's for certain. I imagine something similar could have happened in America had you not won your war."

I nodded my head. It was something to wrap my mind around-the same oppressors had defeated the Jacobites but lost to the Continentals, albeit years later. But still, it seemed difficult to imagine what America might be like today had the Rebels lost. We stopped for a moment on the path to the castle. I looked at Lottie who looked rather admiringly at the castle. "Do you know this much about all the castles in Scotland or just this one?"

"Not all," she chuckled. "Mother said we have MacKenize of Loech blood in us. So, she brought Stephen and me to Leoch to teach us about humble beginnings or something of the sort. Didn't want Father corrupting us with only the Arbuckle family history." Lottie paused to laugh. "Not that it helped much, as you well know. That being said, I know the history of some of the ancestral homes on my mother's side. I didna much care for the history of the Arbuckle family. Don't mistake me, I learned it until I could recite it in my sleep. But I didna much care for it. Always preferred Mother's side of the family, much more interesting."

"Well then," I said, "show me the ancestral home of Clan MacKenzie." I purposely slipped into a terrible Scottish accent on the words Clan MacKenzie, attempting to poorly imitate Lottie. She shook her head and chuckled.

"Never do that again," she teased before she tugged my arm and we walked toward the castle.

We passed through what must have been the front gates into what had once been a courtyard. Although, did it ever stop being a courtyard if the building was still somewhat standing? I shrugged my shoulders and somewhat listened as Lottie described what happened in the courtyard...not that it was all that difficult to figure out on one's own; but Lottie needed today's outing as much as I dd. So, I let her speak at length on the subject.

We were about to cross the threshold into the actual castle itself when I paused. "Are you sure it's safe?" I asked.

Lottie nodded her head. "There's no condemned building notice up," she responded. "Although, I can't say a condemned building notice ever stopped Mother from showing us a few places." Lottie then winked at me and disappeared inside.

I groaned a little, tugging at my cross necklace. While I certainly had grown more cautious in my time on this earth, my sense of adventure hadn't been completely snuffed out. So, I followed after her. I stopped after a few steps to let my eyes adjust to what seemed like darkness after being out in the new morning sun. Electricity and light bulbs hadn't yet been invented when the castle fell in disarray. I could vaguely make out the spots where candles might have been placed, waxy build-up giving away a few places. But it was very likely they would have relied on natural light as well to brighten the place.

I found Lottie waiting for me at the top of an uneven stone staircase. I jogged up the stairs, something I had done since I was a child. I had never been one for simply walking up the stairs. While I had no evidence to prove my case, I often blamed it on my height...or lack thereof. Being almost two inches about five feet, I blamed many things on my height. I momentarily smiled at the list of things I regularly attributed to my height before I stopped beside Lottie. She grinned and shook her head at me in a teasing manner. She used to tease me about being lost in thought so frequently, but hadn't since Stephen.

Lottie looped her arm through mine and pulled me along as we passed through the stone-walled corridors, most of which were still held up reasonably well. We stopped at the threshold to a very large room. "This would have been the Great Hall," she explained. "They dined here, danced here, were entertained here...but most importantly, the laird would hear disputes here. Several Gatherings were held here as well."

"What sort of gatherings?" I asked. "Besides dinner, dances, and the entertainment you mentioned."

"Not those kind of gatherings. A Gathering was a large assembling of the clansmen. Here it would have been the MacKenzies. They would swear an oath of loyalty to the laird. It wasn't all so serious though. They would participate in the tynchal and games."

"Sorry, dumb American here. What's a tynchal?"

Lottie smiled and nudged me. "It's a Scottish ceremonial hunt for stags or boars during a Gathering."

"Of course it is," I said rather sarcastically. "Us Tallmadges had those all the time. We love us a good tynchal."

"There's no need to mock," Lottie teased.

"Sure there is." I looked at Lottie rather pointedly. "Besides, I'm not mocking you. I'm mocking myself. I'd never survive Scotland without you."

"I'm sure you'd manage well enough playing the dumb American who actually isn't as dumb as she lets on."

I giggled. "Now, don't go giving away my secrets."

Lottie smiled. "Your secret is safe with me. Just know that I don't buy the act for a second. I know you do it for a good laugh at times. But some poor unsuspecting lad might easily fall for your charms." She smiled at me like she had during our college years, when most of what she liked to talk about was the lads. We spent many late nights discussing such matters in the room we shared in our lodgings at medical school. I had enjoyed those nights immensely.

I smiled and blushed. It felt like old times. But a pang of guilt hit my heart. Was it too soon after Stephen to even joke about such things? Lottie knew that I had no desire to even look for someone else. I thought of what Stephen had told me before he died and wondered if he had expressed the same thing to Lottie.

She must have noticed me retreating to the corners in my mind because Lottie tugged at my arm and led me into the Great Hall. "Come, Ruthie. I'll teach you the dance my mother taught me when she brought me here. It seems only proper."

"I-I'm not much of a dancer," I attempted to protest.

"Liar," she laughed, still dragging me behind her. "You always seemed to enjoy dancing when we went out."

"Because I spent most of the time laughing at myself." I was breathing a little more heavily than normal when we came to a stop in the middle of the room. I placed my hands on my hips. "You know gracefulness has never been my strong suit. Father spent countless hours trying to teach me simple dances. The only ones I could manage were the slow ones and that's because I was standing on his feet and holding on for dear life."

That made Lottie laugh, which made me smile. I had been blessed with a loving father who had certainly tried his best to raise me on his own. He hadn't been perfect, but I never doubted his love for me. Truthfully, I missed my father more than I missed Stephen. But Lottie was determined to keep me from the recesses of my mind. Her hands snaked out and snatched mine.

I wasn't sure the name of the dance she attempted to teach me, but she was slow and patient with me. Several times we erupted into small fits of giggles when I would bump into her, step on her toes, or when my scarf fell from my head and I slipped on it. But she had been warned that I was rather inept. Although, I was thankful Lottie also messed up a time or two, especially when she would forget she was supposed to be leading the dance. We giggled then too.

By the end of the impromptu lesson, Lottie was able to sing the words to the song, which was in Gaelic, rather than direct my steps. I still did make several mistakes, but I managed to laugh them off. Lottie had been right again. While I would never be a ballerina, I did enjoy dancing...at least a little. It took my mind off things and brought back a small amount of joy into my life.

We then resumed the rest of our adventure through the castle. The cautiousness I had expressed earlier had vanished. There were times I was even leading Lottie through the corridors. The room that had once been the laird's study had clearly been rifled through for the sake of historical preservation, but some books that had been beyond saving still remained on the shelves. Some books looked to have been eaten by mice and others were growing things, but it was still part of someone's history and that fascinated me. But I wasn't quite sure why I found it so. Perhaps it wasn't only American history I could find interesting.

I felt very out of place in Leoch's kitchen the moment we stepped into it. I couldn't cook as it was with modern amenities, always having had people to do it for me. It was a wonder how they were able to do it in the earlier centuries at all. I likely would have starved or accidentally poisoned someone. Although, baking did intrigue me. I was convinced great-great-great-great-great grandma Lydia managed to hold her marriage to Ben together because of her baking skills. Several recipes were included in her memoir. Likely the ones Ben liked the most. I absently brushed the book in my satchel and slightly smiled at the thought of them.

Just when I thought I had seen everything there was to see in the castle, Lottie opened another door to a staircase which descended. "I think you'll find the room at the end of the stairs especially interesting," Lottie said softly.

I arched my eyebrow curiously before I followed after her down the stairs. The room at the bottom was larger and had much more light than I expected, especially for being so far down. There was a fireplace on one wall and shelves lined with bottles on another. A large table with baskets, jars, and tools stood in the middle of the room and dried plants hung from the ceiling. I looked at Lottie blankly. I didn't have a clue what this room had once been used for.

Lottie folded her arms across her chest. "Mother called this room a surgery in the 18th century."

"Surgery?" I questioned, my brow furrowing as I looked at the items on the table. "If I recall correctly, I'm pretty sure 18th-century surgery was cutting everything off." My words were said in jest, but they weren't too far off.

Lottie chuckled. "While I'm certain limbs were likely removed here, Mother said a surgery was where a healer did his work. Not only amputations."

I scoffed a little at his work. While I wasn't using my medical expertise anymore, I was as skilled as any male doctor and certainly more skilled than any 18th-century healer. I had worked at my father's side at his practice for years before attending medical school. I knew nearly as much as my teachers at the time, but I needed the degree for the title of doctor. But that was something I had given up for Stephen. I had thought that being a wife and a mother would be enough for me and perhaps it could have been.

I shook myself out of my reverie to find Lottie listing off the remnants of the herbs that remained and what they were good for. Although, some she said had no medical use. I smiled. While Lottie's motives for attending medical school were mostly to thwart her father and his attempts to marry her off, she did have a knack for herbs and more natural remedies.

Suddenly, my stomach growled loud enough for Lottie to hear. I placed my hands on my stomach trying to quiet it, but that only made Lottie laugh harder. "Let's go eat. I know the perfect spot," Lottie said once her laughter subsided.

I eagerly agreed to this.

We left the castle and I followed Lottie through the overgrown grass. There must have been a trail that she was following, but it wasn't easy for me to follow. Thankfully, Lottie seemed to know where she was going. After what seemed like quite a trek, we came to a stop at a lake, or loch, as Lottie referred to it. I could see why she had thought of this place. It seemed very tranquil and the view was stunning.

I scrambled behind Lottie to some large rocks that were nestled near the water's edge, but high enough from the water's reach. We took our shoes and stockings off before we sat down, our legs dangling over the side of the rock with our toes inches from the water. Well, quite a few more inches for my toes than Lottie's. Lottie set the basket Mrs. Campbell packed between us. We had cold chicken, slices of buttered bread, cheese, apples, and some cookies to eat.

We ate in silence, neither of us wanting to disturb the serenity of the place. I imagined this spot was perfect to watch the sun rise and set or to even come to think. As I nibbled on a cookie, I glanced down at my left hand. I still sported the gold band with a rather large diamond given to me by Stephen. Despite the ongoing war, he still insisted on the setting. I didn't care much for gold, but he had liked the ring and honestly, I just cared that I was being given a ring at the time.

I gently brushed my ring hand against the rock to reveal that my hand had been resting on something etched into the stone. JAMMF. The letters were old and worn, but still clearly visible. My brow furrowed curiously. I hadn't a clue what that meant, but my index finger traced each letter as if drawn to them. And then for reasons I couldn't even explain myself, I removed Stephen's ring from my finger and wrapped it in my scarf before I placed it in the pocket of my satchel. I let my hand rest on the letters once more, drawing a strength from them that I didn't understand.

I carefully undid did the braid from my hair and shook out my long golden waves, letting them blow in the wind as I inhaled slowly with my eyes closed. I almost felt alive again. Almost. I then pulled Of Love and War from my satchel and set it on my lap. I read for a bit, my left hand still drawn to the letters in the stone.

Eventually, Lottie and I headed back to the automobile to move on to our next adventure. From my spot in the passenger's seat, I glanced at Leoch once more. "You said Culloden is when everything changed?" I asked.

"Aye. Not just Leoch though. The entire Highlander way of life, mind you."

I looked curiously at the building in front of us."So, if Culloden hadn't happened, do you think your family would still be at Leoch?"

"Och, no. The last MacKenzie to be traced back in my bloodline was a woman, so she went to her husband's lands. Besides, she left Leoch long before Culloden." Lottie was silent for a moment, pondering things before she quietly added, "But I do imagine a fair number of the estates and the history might have been better preserved if it hadn't happened or had we won."

I nodded my head in understanding from the perspective of a descendant of the American Revolution. I pulled my scarf from my satchel. After a long sigh, I returned the ring to my finger and the scarf to my head. I then turned to Lottie. "So, where to next?"

Lottie simply grinned.

Author's Note: Well, I'm back after having had the charger of my laptop destroyed by a kitty. I was without a computer for like 2-ish weeks. Ugh. Also, I've been busy prepping for the upcoming school year. Thank you so much for all the support everyone has shown me so far with this story. It was completely unexpected. But I'm also glad that I'm not the only one with my feelings on Claire. Haha. I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter of Ruthie's journey and getting to know Lottie. Things will speed up in a few chapters, but I definitely wanted to establish Ruthie a bit before throwing her into the lion's den.

A big thank you to Renny Autumn for beta-ing this story for me. I always get nervous about posting and she helps calm my nerves. Haha. Although, she probably blames me for introducing her to Jamie. haha.

If you have Tumblr this story's blog is: ruthietallmadgefraser. My personal blog is missjanuarylily. And a fabulous OC blog is ocappreciation.