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WARNING: Death/Loss of a family
member.

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You stood motionless on the wooden planks that made up your back porch, the full moon being the only source of light accompanying you. There was an icy wind blowing - the kind that brought a chill to your bones and caused you to pile on as many layers as possible to gain warmth. Goosebumps seemed to have permanently formed on your skin, and your bare feet had lost feeling in them due to the harsh cold. But you didn't feel the cold. At least, you didn't right now. How could you? How could you possibly feel anything other than emptiness at this time?

The familiar sound of the patio door sliding across its railing indicated the presence of one of your friends, but you didn't turn around to face them or even acknowledge them. Yet, two seconds later, your arms were being engulfed in soft wool and warmth instantly flooded over your body. It didn't last long, though. Almost as soon as the blanket made contact with your skin, you had pulled it off again.

"Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?" you snarled, irritation evident in your voice.

"You mean besides the fact that it's basically below freezing point out here?" Tyler retorted, his voice calmer and much more controlled than yours. He reached for the blanket and wrapped it around you again. This time you let him. "Because you're in shock."

You scoffed. "That doesn't mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze."

"I don't think alcohol is the answer."

"Oh, and a blanket is?"

"Well, it would certainly be better if you didn't have hypothermia, no?"

You didn't bother replying to him, instead sitting down on the cold, hard wood. Tyler joined you, both of you staring up at the night sky, watching the wind carry away what little clouds there were. After a few minutes of silence, he turned to look at you and you did the same. You could see the sympathy in his eyes, along with a hint of curiosity.

"I know you're not about to ask me something stupid like 'Are you okay?' or 'How are you doing?', Joseph."

"No. No, I'm not. I know that you're not okay and I know that you're doing terrible. But it's just..." he trailed off, rethinking whether he should say what he wanted to say or not.

"Just what?"

"It's been almost 24 hours since you got the news, and I haven't seen you cry once."

His words lit a fire inside of you. That one sentence was all it took to send you over the edge. It was as if your emotions were a domino train, and Tyler had just set it off.

Your breathing started getting heavier and your heart pounded urgently in your chest.

"What are you trying to say?! That I'm not upset about it? That just because I'm not crying it means that what happened didn't affect me at all?!"

Somewhere in the middle of your reaction you had stood up, the blanket falling into a tangled bunch around your feet.

Tyler got up too, his hands outstretched in an attempt to grab hold of your arms and soothe you, but you rejected his attempt by taking a step back. You were livid. How could he say something like that? Yes, you hadn't cried. But you were dealing. In your own way. Tyler didn't know what it was like. He didn't understand what you were going through. No one did.

"That's not what I meant, (Y/N).  I-"

"You want me to cry, Tyler? Huh? Is that what you want? Do you think it'll make me feel better if I do? You want me to tell you exactly what I'm going through? Fine. You're absolutely right. I haven't cried. Not once. I haven't shed a single tear since I found out. But it's not because I don't want to. It's because I can't. I can't, okay? I've tried. I've tried crying. I've tried feeling. But I just- I just CAN'T. Maybe it's because the pain I felt when I heard what happened was so intense that I chose to ignore it instead. But I don't know, okay? I DON'T KNOW!"

At this point, your body was shaking and you were pulling at your hair in frustration. Tyler stepped closer towards you.

"It's okay, (Y/N). It's all gonna be okay."

"No, it's not! It's not okay! It's never going to be okay! So don't lie to me! Don't lie to me!"

You balled your hands up into fists and before you could register your actions, your right fist made contact with Tyler's chest. Then your left one. Then your right again. Left. Right. Left. Right. Tyler didn't try to stop you, knowing full well that this was what you needed. You needed to get rid of all of your pent-up emotions. He wanted you to acknowledge your pain, so that you could start to heal. And if helping you through it all meant a bruised chest for the next few days, then so be it.

"HE'S DEAD, TYLER! HE'S DEAD! GONE. HE SAID HE'D NEVER LEAVE ME. THAT MY BIG BROTHER WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE TO PROTECT ME. HE LIED, TYLER. HE LIED TO ME!"

The tears fell freely down your face in a never-ending waterfall. You were weeping uncontrollably, your body convulsing with every harsh sob. All the emotions you'd been harboring since finding out about your brother's death came flooding out, and it hurt like hell.

The floor seemed to sway under your feet and the ground seemed to be coming closer. You felt Tyler's arms wrap around you before you could fall, and he immediately pulled you into his chest.

"Shh. It's alright. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here."

~2 hours later~

When you'd finally managed to stop crying and Tyler had calmed you down enough, you made your way upstairs to your bedroom. Your eyes were red and swollen and every muscle in your body ached; your bed had never looked more inviting.

Changing into your pajamas, you climbed into your warm bed, allowing the large blankets to envelope you. Tyler's footsteps could be heard outside your bedroom and soon enough he had entered.

Walking over to you with a smile on his face, he leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Everything's sorted downstairs. You can rest easy."

"Thank you, Ty. For everything. I really don't know where I'd be without you." you said, squeezing his hand.

"That's what I'm here for. If you need anything else, I'm right in the next room, okay?"

He stood up to leave but you didn't let go of his hand. Instead, you pulled him back.

"Actually, there is something I need."

"What is it?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"Can you stay with me? Please."

Your voice came out as barely even a whisper, but Tyler heard you nonetheless. He climbed in next to you; his arms found their way around your waist and he pulled you closer to him.

"Thank you for always being there for me for the past 15 years, Tyler. You have no idea how much it means to me. How much you mean to me," you murmured into his neck.

Tyler placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up so that you were staring into his chocolate colored eyes before leaning in and kissing you with so much passion, you thought your heart might just explode.

"Angel, you mean more. You always have. I was just too much of a coward to tell you. But now you know. What you're going through right now is awful and it'll hurt for a long, long time. But eventually it will get better. The pain won't go away - not as long as you remember him. But that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Pain means you're feeling. And feeling means you're alive. Just know that I'm here with you, okay? Every step of the way. Always."

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Thank you for reading x

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐘: softskarssgard