NOT EDITED
PUBLISHED ONLY ON WATTPAD

ROB JETTEN

I went to the coffee shop Jesse and I always went when on our breaks and to hang out. It was hard not to think about his insult. I wasn't a whore. I don't know why it hit me so hard.

Maybe because I never expected him to say that.

Maybe because he was supposed to be one of the rare good men.

Maybe because he was Jesse.

Maybe because I thrust him.

Maybe because I started feeling something for him.

Shit, I like him.

I groaned at the realization, banging my head against the table. The coffee cup raised a bit from the vibrations and then fell back down with a clank. I didn't need to look up to know it spilt a bit, it was full, after all. I didn't even begin drinking it, even if I was there an hour or more. First I had a smoothie while solving the crossword. Then I read. Just five minutes ago I ordered coffee, needing caffeine.

And besides, I felt the heat from it collecting around my arm. "Ouch," I said and looked up, moving my arms so the coffee couldn't burn me.

"Here you go," a feminine voice said as the napkins were showed onto the beverage on the table and my arms that I clenched, like it would get rid of the pain and cooled down the spot.

"Thank you —" I stopped when I saw who it was. "Joelin?"

"Yes. Hi."

I wanted to stand up and walk away, I didn't need more stress for today, but something in her tone was calming and begging me to stay.

"What do you want?"

"To apologize. Look, it's my fault," she pulled the chair opposite me and sit down. "I came to him unexpectedly, bugging him. We were never good at communicating with each other since we got married, we were better of being friends."

"I don't get it how it has something to do with me."

"Well, he was pissed at me. I was pissed at him. You know people tend to say things they don't mean when mad."

"Whatever. It's not like I'll magically forgive him. You should go," I didn't want her to ruin this cafe for me.

"I shouldn't be telling this... But it may help your judging process," now she got my attention. "Jesse was constantly bullied when he was younger. By his 'friends', family, even some teachers. They weren't fond of gay people, his parents beat him, and a football team in school. Bunch of closeted gays, if you ask me.

When you told him he's fag... He didn't take it well. Imagine being told you're not worthy of anything because you're gay every single day. Being called by names. Having to go to your friend's house so they can help you hide the bruises. It wasn't easy.

His past and my nagging, plus your fight, maybe triggered him or something. I know you're not whore. You're just a person like everyone else. Just consider this fact while you're still mad at him and are debating on if you should forgive him. I know he's already punishing himself."

I listened to her every word. Maybe she wasn't as bad as I thought.

"Is that the truth? His family... In school..."

"Yes. I shouldn't have shared that, it's too personal. But I—. I saw you sitting here and I had to. You two look cute together, it would be a shame you just stopped talking or something."

Poor Jesse. I know the last thing he'd probably was is a pity, but how could you not feel it when you remember it could've been you?

"I'll think about it. But I'm not putting a certain day I'll decide."

"I'm not asking that. Just keep it in your mind he suffered a lot also. You're not the only one," she smiled.

"What?" I asked confused about what she meant. She shook her head a bit and stood up. Joelin placed a napkin with black numbers on it, and U knew it was her number.

"If you want to hang out or talk... Text me. I'm not really that bad, I just have my moments like everyone else. Bye, Rob," she waved as she walked towards the exit.

"Bye," I whispered and nodded my head in her direction. I took the napkin and put her number in my phone. My finger hovered over Jesse's name.

Should I call him?

1. I finally hit 100 followers 🎉

Let's go try to hit 200 hahaha

2. Eurovision, anyone? My fave is Switzerland 🇨🇭

Congrats to Italy for the win! Wasn't in my top 10, but congrats 🇮🇹

3. Would you want one update on the week (or two weeks) or wait a month or so and then get an update with multiple chapters?

I'm trying to organize my obligations so the answers would help me in defining the writing time.

Published:
23:57 CEST,

24. 05. 2021.