"Asperger syndrome (AS), also known as Asperger's, is a developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests."

Wikipedia's description is pretty accurate but is still lacking in giving you a lot of info on what the disorder really is.

Asperger Syndrome was first discovered in the 1940's and remains apart of the Autism Spectrum because it is, in itself, a milder form of Autism. Although it's classified as "high-functioning".

High-functioning basically means that I'm able to read, write, and speak on my own and need no help in that way. But Autism is still a neurodevelopmental disorder so I still struggle and have certain difficulties I deal with on a daily basis.

Because of my Asperger's (we prefer to call ourselves 'Aspies'), I have problems maintaining friendships. So basically sometimes I forget to message people back, I find it difficult to keep in contact with people a lot of the time which can leave me seeming scatterbrained - in fact, some people have described it the situation as "I thought you fell off the face of the earth." Well, possibly :P

I also get really nervous in certain social situations - especially if I don't know people personally, that makes it ten times worse for me because I tend to get really quiet and reserved and I tend to go off somewhere by myself. But otherwise, I'm actually pretty extroverted in smaller gatherings and around people I know well.

Sometimes, I also have problems maintaining eye contact with people - not always but sometimes it can be issue for me.

One thing that I deal with all the time though is interpreting different gestures, tones, and facial expressions. I have issues with this constantly! Sometimes people have said things to me and because of their tone, I feel like they're getting mad at me and I literally don't know if they are or aren't. Also facial expressions are really hard for me to grasp - I mean, the basic ones like happy, sad, etc, I understand but for example, when people narrow their eyes at me, I automatically assume they're angry. And people narrow their eyes and it has different meanings, I know, but when it happens to me, that's usually how I perceive it. So that can be frustrating.

On that same note, sometimes I'm not good with detecting sarcasm or humor. And that's not the case always because over the years, I've gotten better at discerning that but there are times when I really don't realize that someone is being sarcastic.

I also take things really really literally. So idioms are massively hard to understand for me. As I've gotten older, that's another thing that's gotten a bit easier to discern but regardless, whenever I tend to hear different idioms, they still sound literal to me. Or if someone mentions an idiom in regards to doing something, I'll probably take it way too literally and do the exact thing they said.

I'm not that great with empathy if I'm being honest. It's not that I don't care - in fact, I do care. A lot. But sometimes it can be really hard for me to try and understand someone else's feelings and relate to them. For example, if someone tells me a sad story, I know it's sad but it's hard for me to feel sad about it myself, if that makes sense. Sometimes I joke around that I'm a sociopath to lighten up the mood but in all seriousness, empathy and feelings have never come easy to me.

And I'm not good at all in expressing my feelings. In fact, that's something I struggle with a lot. It literally takes a lot for me to be able to express myself and most times, I'm not even sure if I do it all that well. Truthfully, I worry that I come off as a bit detached because of that. Again, it's not that I don't care but it's very hard for me to express how I feel.

Actually while writing this chapter though, I did find something out that even I hadn't known. Apparently, Aspies have issues controlling their emotions as well. Personally, my downfall is my anger haha :P I have a bad temper and sometimes it can be hard for me to control it when I get agitated in any way. I'm a work in progress, what can I say? lol

Sometimes conversations I have with people can also seem one-sided because I tend to go on and on about a subject without realizing that the other person is totally uninterested. Or have minimal interest. I don't do it to be self-centered and 99% of the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it. I just get so overly-excited about different subjects (genealogy, history, etc.). My family are really used to it though because they know of my Asperger's and know that I mean nothing by it but for people who don't know me? It can be a problem.

On that same note, I get really hyper-focused on certain subjects. I can literally research and learn about one single thing (for me, it's usually history-related) for months on end. I even do it with certain countries and cultures I'm interested in. Or even fandoms for that matter, whatever I take an interest in really - it kind of becomes my obsession.

Also, I try to stay on a schedule/routine as much as I can because any deviation from that bothers me to no end. I get really stressed, upset for no reason, easily irritated - it basically puts my whole mood off-balance until my schedule is back on track again. Of course, that goes hand-in-hand with my ADHD as well which I'll explain more in the next chapter on that particular disorder.

Because of my Asperger's, though, I also have sensory issues. Sensory issues mean that I'm hyper-sensitive to different things. Like sunlight for example - whenever I'm standing in direct sunlight, I can't really look up into the sky too terribly much because whenever the sunlight hits my eyes, I start to get a headache. It happens if I'm in the sun too long and it can be a real pain - literally. So although I love being outside, I really have to watch where I'm standing or sitting.

Due to those same sensory issues, I hate being around loud noises. Noises that don't bother other people tend to be overly-stimulating for Aspies like myself. As well as different textures of clothing (tags are a big problem for me which is why I always cut them out of my clothes as a kid). And sometimes I have issues with people touching me - not always because I do love hugs but I can't stand to be touched at certain times or certain places. It really just depends on how I feel at the time.

Repetitive behaviors can sometimes be an issue - like feeling I have to do things a certain amount of times. Or feeling the compulsive need to touch certain objects or surfaces. Although again, that's something that I have in common with my OCD so I can't say this happens to everyone with Asperger's.

One thing though that some Aspies have is a love of water. For some reason, we're fascinated by water. I love to be in the water, I love to be around water or touching it - I'm not sure why this is, I'm not even sure there's a scientific explanation but it seems to be true of a lot of people on the Spectrum.

Yet another symptom is stimming. This one was really bad for me in childhood but it's something I've mostly been able to live with now that I'm older. So stimming, for those of you who don't know, is basically like tics. It's something you do involuntarily and most times, you don't even know you're doing it - and it's not the easiest to control. For me, my stims as a kid were balling my hands into fists and banging my heels on the floor whenever I was excited. I also used to chew on my hair a lot. But as I got older, a lot of that subsided and I learned how to control it better. Although there are still times to this day when I start to move my hands or feet when I'm excited.

I also tend to blurt things that come to mind - whether it's appropriate or not. Or even whether people want to know or not. Which only leads me to try and keep my mouth shut more lol :P

Aspies also tend to collect different things. It can be anything really. For example in my lifetime I've collected (when I was younger) stamps, Hot Wheels cars, Funko Pops (oops, guilty :P), and even buttons which is probably a weird thing that doesn't make a lot of sense come to think of it. But it is a symptom of my disorder.

Hm, other problems I have because of my Asperger's are issues with motor skills like being able to throw or catch a ball (I'm...decent at it? I guess lol) as well as not being able to be around a lot of people at once.

The latter is terrible for me though because it actually hinders me from going to a lot of places I'd love to go. Like Harry Potter World or different amusement parks, some museums. Basically anywhere where a ton of people congregate. All the noises and people so close to me can be overwhelming - so much so that I start to look for exits as soon as places fill up with people. My chest hurts and my anxiety rises - I can only relax once I'm away from everyone. It's not a good feeling at all so I tend to avoid highly-populated areas when I can.

Asperger's is not all bad though - it has its good points. Like the fact that I'm able to hyper-focus on certain subjects means I can learn as much as possible and become extremely knowledgeable on it. Aspies also have unique senses of humor and are known for being very fair and honest - which is in part due to how our brains are wired.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and that maybe you learned something you never knew before or that it helped you in some way :) Next up, I'm going to be talking about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or as it's more commonly called 'ADHD'. I hope y'all like it :)