A/N// Hey my lovelies! I'm back! I just wanted to say that this chapter does contain eating disorders (mainly anorexia and bulimia). And while I haven't had a ED before, I have suffered with body imagery issues. Remember, that if you suffer from an ED/body image issues that they're people who can help you!!!
Requested by TsukiGoddo13

ᴛᴀɴᴊɪʀᴏ🌊

     You couldn't even remember when you started. You couldn't remember when you didn't throw up after you ate, you mainly just ate so you didn't pass out during mission and to make your boyfriend happy. He didn't know, how could he know? Its not like you told him, and its also not like he went everywhere with you.

      You wiped your mouth, taking in a deep breath. You still felt awful, you gripped your bag as you took our a toothbrush and a little container of water. That's when you heard, " Are you sick?! "Oh, shit.
      You snapped your head to look at Tanjiro. How do you lie your way out of this? If you said yes than he would worry about you, if you said no than he would ask more questions. Something deep in gut spoke form you.
      "No, I'm not sick, "you answered nervously. You chuckled to yourself before mentally cursing yourself out. You were completely fucked. He was going to find out and who knows what would happen then?!
      Tanjiro had a puzzled look on his face, he was going to ask more question. " Are you okay? "
      Something in you boiled. " Yes... No... Maybe? "You threw your hands up in a confused and angry gesture. Why was it so hard to lie to him? You could lie to anyone else but him. This was bullsh*t.
       "What happened? "
       You looked away, you knew you were going to tell on yourself. "... I made myself do that. " You just said the words without any thought. 
       " Why?! "You hadn't seen him so worried even since you got seriously hurt last June. You felt awful, whether it was about getting caught or keeping it from Tanjiro for long you didn't know. Maybe it was both. You felt like you we going crazy. This wasn't supposed to happen, wasn't supposed to go on for this long.
      " I don't know, not now. Maybe I never did! Maybe I was took insecure, but now I don't know what to do, or for heavens sake what I'm doing! "You snapped, you didn't want to just everything just hurt. Mentally and physically. Your bones ached from crying for so long.
      It wasn't hard to see the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out how to comfort you. He just settled on a hug, a very tight hug. " You don't need to continue. I got you. "Even if you weren't strong enough to do this, you had Tanjiro as your anchor.

ᴋʏᴏᴊᴜʀᴏ🔥

      At first it want meant to be that big of a deal. Just something to help love you along. To make you better, in a sense. You didn't feel adequate, like you weren't normal. That the world was pretty while you weren't.
 

    You hadn't expected it to get this bad. You just couldn't stop. You wanted to, you knew it was bad, but you couldn't. When Kyojuro wasn't home, you didn't bother making a meal, when he was your didn't it much or at all. You just played it off as you not being hungry. You thought he want clueless. He wasn't.
      He knew, after a few weeks he put everything together. It hurt him to see you like this. A mere shell of who you once were. It worried him, he was more than just concerned for your physical health but your mental as well.

      He came home, his usual smile not present on his face. You came out of kitchen to greet him. You knew something was wrong although you didn't know what was wrong through. " Hey, honey! What's wrong? " you greeted, looking him in the eyes. Kyojuro cupped your cheeks and stated, " We'll talk about it over dinner. " Your stomach dropped, somehow you knew, just knew what was about to happen. He had found out.
      Kyojuro made you sit down as he brought out the food for you. He put a good portion of food into your bowl before putting some into his.
      " You know, Kyojuro I don't think I'm that hu—"
      " Nonsense! You must be starving. He cut off with a smile, but his eyes showed you that he was onto you. You knew that he knew, that he was probably going to do something about it too.
      He begin to eat his food, shouting "Tasty! " with every bite. You just mindlessly stared at the food in front of you. You didn't even touch it.
      Kyojuro looked up at you and pointing out, " You haven't touched your food, darling. " You nearly jumped at his words. You didn't know how long you could keep this up, keep from years from falling because they were fighting to fall. You bite your lip in shame.
      " I know, " you whispered back.
      He took a deep breath, got up from his seat and hugged you from behind. " Tell me what's wrong, " he begged. His smile had long dropped.
      The years fell. " You already know. "
      Taking a deep breath he nodded. Kyojuro picked up your left hand before kissing it. " Yes, I do. But, I still love you. I love your hands, your face, your mind, and your heart... Please, don't do this to yourself. Not just because I love you, but because you should love yourself "

sᴀɴᴇᴍɪ 🍃

      You two have been through this before. About a year ago, you had relapsed again. Its not like you liked strafing yourself, you couldn't help what your thoughts told you or what they said to do.

      Sanemi noticed that you weren't eating been quickly. Ever since he found out last year he had been keeping an eye on your eating habits. If you weren't eating one time, sure, you could not be just not hungry but four to five times? Yeah, no. He knew something was up and he sure as hell wasn't going to let you go through this shit again.
      You yanked for uniform off and gingerly put on an oversized shirt and a pair of comfortable pants. You heard the door open and you smiled, you already knew who it was. You opened the door to already see him there. Your eyebrows furrowed. Oh shit. You had done something wrong by the look on his face. It was a mix of ire, panic, and was that worry in his eyes?
      "You haven't been eating. "He stated gruffly. So that's what this was about. Hm.
      You crossed your arms and stared him down, preparing for a boldfaced lie. He cut you off to it.
      Sanemi demanded, " Don't lie to me. The kitchen looks the same as when I left three days ago. Two days before that you kept saying you weren't hungry. Something isn't adding up. "
      He backed you to a fucking corner. Great, now what were you supposed to lie about. " Fine, I haven't been eating. But, I swear I wa—"
      "I don't like it when you lie to me, but I'm willing to get past that part for now. But, now you're going to go fucking eat some shit. " You couldn't say no to him.

sʜɪɴᴏʙᴜ🦋

      You didn't think about how you were going to hide this from her. It was very possible that you weren't thinking at all when you decided to go to the bathroom. You knew that she would notice if you didn't eat, but maybe she wouldn't notice if you decided to throw it up. You wanted to be better, for her, you weren't pretty not like her. You weren't like anyone else and you hated it. You hated being different from everyone else.

      At first she hasn't noticed, many because she was so busy that she wouldn't notice you sneaking off after dinner. Sometimes she wasn't even at dinner. She had first how thin you were when you had gotten a fractured rib and you refused to show her your torso. She had to more or less force you to show her. Her false smile dropped as she saw your ribs.
      You hadn't seen her so worried for you in forever. You didn't like how worried she was for you. At first she just thought that you were sick and watched you during dinner. Soon she realized why you were so thin was because of a conscious choice.
      You laid down on your shared mat, reading a book. You thought she was working on poisons and antidotes in her lab, how wrong you were. Shinobu slid the food open, looking down at you. Her smile was on her face, something she normally dropped around you. You automatically knew something was wrong, although you couldn't place your finger on it.
      "Hey, what's wrong? "
      She sucked in a breath almost as to calm herself down. She broke the silence, " Why didn't you tell me?"
      Your eyebrows furrowed together as you spoke, " Tell you about what? "You had a sneaking suspicion about what this was about. You just chose not to listen to your gut.
      " You've been throwing up your food, haven't you? "Shinobu accused, pointing at you. Her smile had dropped as she spoke, it was clear she wasn't playing around about this.
      "I swear I haven't done anything like that! ", you lied through your teeth. Her eyebrows pointed downwards.
      She snapped, " Don't lie to me. If you haven't been throwing up your food than why are you so thin? Are you ill, because if you are you need to tell me"
      " I... Yes I've been throwing up, "you didn't know what else to say.
      "Why?! "
      " Because I'm not good enough! I've never been that way! I'm not pretty, I'm not smart not really. I'm barely worthy of my rank. I just want to be normal, is that so hard to ask?! "You snapped.
      She sat next to you and cupped your cheek running away tears you hadn't realized had fallen. " You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are smart, you are strong and you can't ever be normal. I wouldn't have met you if you were ever normal. "

ᴏʙᴀɴᴀɪ🐍
(this man was hard to write for so its short)

      You felt awful. You felt like falling to a heep on the floor and cry. You wanted to cry until the tears couldn't flow anymore and you died dehydration. You knew you probably wouldn't though. You wouldn't allow anyone to see you that way anyway.

      He had been gone for about a month mission after mission. Sometimes you go letters other times he was completely silent. You had gotten used to this, and because of your loneliness you were able to get really deep in your thoughts. For a little bit you could push any intrusion thought down, but now they just bubbled over like water that's been boiling for too long.
      Obanai had came home two hours ago, you prepared dinner before sitting down across from him. You didn't even touch the bowl, you just stared down at it.
      " You need to eat something, you're all skin and bones. " he stated looked at you in the eyes.
      You came up with a lie and told it with a shrug."Oh, I'm not that hungry. "
      Obanai's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, I'm not buying that. Eat. Your. Food. " You just did what you were told.

ᴍɪᴛsᴜʀɪ🍡

      You didn't feel beautiful or strong. You felt awful all of the time. Not that not eating help. You were going into a downward spiral that want going out of control. You didn't feel in control of anything in your life.

      She almost immediately recognized when something was wrong. You went eating when the two of you went out, you hardly ate or went out. Mitsuri was worried for your health, both mental and physical. So she planned to help you I'm anyway that she could!
      She rolled onto the cot with you, she faces you. She cupped your cheek with one hand, looking you in the eyes.
      Mitsuri took a deep breath, hyping herself up to talk to you. "I know what you've been doing to yourself. Its pretty easy to notice. I use to do the same thing. " Your eyes went wide at her words. You still didn't speak, you didn't want to or else years would fall.
      " I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to do that. I love you for you. And, I was thinking tomorrow we could go out and go get something to eat. Stop maybe? "

——

A/N // I just wanted to get this one over with. This took so long to write. I might start writing these different or something.