"𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫, 𝐈'𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲 '𝐇𝐞𝐲'"
-'Enchanted' by Taylor Swift

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HEMERA

"Where should I place this one?" I huff and blow a strand of stray hair away from my face, both my hands utterly useless as I'm trying not to drop the heaviest pot I own. The overgrown chrysanthemum would never forgive me if I broke its pretty white home. Perhaps, I should consider not including the decision to hoist it up in my arms thinking I could take it, in the book of 'clever things I've done that make me question the mental expansion of my intelligence.'

Pansy shrugs as she spins around in my desk chair, blowing her red, freshly painted nails dry, her freckled cheeks puffing out like she's trying to blow up a balloon. "Don't you think that's enough plants for a single room?"

She doesn't meet my eyes, but as I place the edge of the pot on the windowsill and balance it with my hip, I allow myself to suck in a breath and trail my gaze across our dorm room.

There once was a round carpet laid out in the center of the room, thick and soft enough that it muffled even the footsteps of Pansy's party stiletto heels— now, in its place are countless wrappers and protective bags that I'm too lazy to carry to the trash can, where they actually belong. And as if that isn't enough indication of displayed labor that my poor self wants to avoid, there are around a dozen plants left to be unwrapped and stored, all scattered across the dorm.

While Theo and Blaise have been lying on my bed— the former having almost shoved his face in a bag of chips he managed to empty in the span of five minutes, while the latter is too busy listening to music from the MP3 player he's been carrying around all the damn time— I've spent the last two hours decorating every plain surface and placing the plants my mother sent me today, anywhere I can. From lilies to tiny cacti, the flowers vary enough to rival most of the world-spread flora.

Pansy will get used to it like she does every year. I don't know if there's a specific name for my condition that makes it sound scientific and worthy of being written in one of those leatherbound notebooks academically smart people carry, but I'm wholly unable to sleep in a room that lacks the presence of flowers.

Theo speaks up around a mouthful of chip crumbs, his lips salt-flecked as he licks them clean. He readjusts my pillow on his back, pushing himself further against the headboard and stretching his legs. "You weren't joking when you said you could turn any dorm into a jungle."

"Don't feed her ego," Draco warns, lazily flipping through a random textbook he snatched from my shelves. I don't bother telling him to drop it, though part of me hopes there's nothing but boring class notes in it. "She takes pride in that."

"Listen, babe, I'm all here if you decide to buy a greenhouse and shove whatever this is" Pansy flicks the petals of a red bloom with two fingers.

"It's an amaryllis." I correct her like she poked me in the eye and I had to react, slowly lowering my prized chrysanthemum to the floor after kicking some of the wrappers out of the way to free up some space.

"Yes, an amaroullis. As I was saying, I will support you if you choose to do that, but please don't tell your mother to send in any more plants. I'm sure all this fresh oxygen will be the death of my lungs."

"Wait till you see her room back in Salisbury." That's yet again one of Draco's attempts to declare my obsession and make sure that everyone in earshot knows of it. At least, seeing how Blaise keeps moving his head to the beat of the song he's listening to, there's a spark of hope that someone will still look at me the same after tonight. "The only thing she needs is some water and she'll have officially recreated the banks of the Amazon River."

The blond's fingers pause on a page of my notebook, a knotted frown taking hold of his expression as if he saw something other than too-complicated-to-spell-correctly potion ingredients.

"I don't appreciate being called out," I say and rush to take the textbook from his hands, praying to Merlin that nothing embarrassing written by me exists in there. Yet my every prayer pauses in the air, not reaching the ears of God as Draco refuses to give it back, his eyes jumping between my face and the ink-stained page in front of him. He's barely holding his laughter in. "Hey, give that back—"

"Seriously? Why is Koch's name in here? And why the hell is it surrounded by a bunch of bloody hearts?"

Before my pulse speeds up enough to echo in my ears, pumping even in my temples, I see how Theo nudges Blaise's shoulder, making him plug an earbud out. Right there and then, I know I reluctantly signed myself up to be sentenced to at least two hours of constant teasing.

"There's no such thing." I snatch the notebook from my best friend's hands almost forcefully, the skin of my face burning. "You're hallucinating."

Pansy only closes her hung jaw to form words "I thought your little diary in disguise was well hidden."

Suddenly, collecting all those wrappers seems exceptionally tempting— though I know that by giving in and avoiding this topic of the conversation completely, my embarrassment will be easier to read than now. "It's not my fault that Draco snoops around."

My best friend pinches the bridge of his nose, looking like he's had enough. "Please tell me you don't keep a diary about him."

Pansy slaps her hand over her mouth after realizing that her tells bared a significant piece of information to three vultures hungry for mockery. I give her a warning glare that I hope looks half as intimidating as her own always do, but instead of proceeding to voice an apology I'd have to think before accepting, she lifts her hands in the universal, 'I'm innocent' pose.

I huff and turn my attention to Draco, whose lower back leans against my desk. His arms are crossed over his chest. His face has adopted a sullen look that makes me feel like I'm trying to walk straight on the line between insanity and the opposite, with four shots of vodka in my system.

"It's not a diary, it's a simple sign tracker. Which now reminds me that I have to update it."

"Dear diary," Theo dictates, "today was a great day. Lucas Koch, my little boo, glanced in my direction for 0.4 milliseconds. I honestly don't know how I'm still conscious. I thought I would physically melt into a puddle at the sight of his sun-warm, charming orbs."

Blaise bursts out laughing while Draco makes a gagging sound.

"Orbs? Seriously?" I echo.

The brunet shrugs nonchalantly, "I wouldn't put it past you to write that."

"Best believe I wouldn't. And for the record, he stared at me at breakfast."

"Stare usually refers to a look with a lifespan of over five seconds." Draco leaves this piece of information hanging in the air, and I take it as a chance to talk about this morning's incident. I still haven't told them about the bathroom break one.

"I'm pretty sure my eighteen-year-old brain is fully aware of the definition of the word 'stare'," I say, holding onto my truth. "And that is a sign. A crystal clear sign."

Draco claps his hands, the harsh sound of skin against skin resonating around. "Great. That's it, let's go pick out your wedding dress and send you off."

Despite the scowl on his face, I find it in myself to flash a smile. "I love it when you agree with me."

"Hemera," Pansy calls, "Listen, you know I'm always here when you want to ramble about him; we all are." My smile turns from flashy to genuine but the slow breath she draws in as she meets my eyes lets me know that she hasn't finished. And that most definitely, the sentence that follows is contradictory. "But it's been three years. A simple look is not enough."

What she says kills my excitement.

I'd always been excited to talk about Lucas without feeling concerningly delusional. Not only is he everything I daydream about to this day, but we also have history. I mean, come on, I basically passed McGonagall's class because of him. He's next-level smart, sophisticated, and the type that anyone would find conventionally attractive.

And even the tiniest of things like his hand brushing against mine back when we used to share a desk, had made me want to run through the hallways yell-singing every love song ever written like I was playing in a rom-com.

Like almost every other girl affected by a guy making butterflies swirl in her stomach with encounters of even insignificant nature, I've always noted my incapability to shut up about him. Remembering how much I used to rant about all the short glances we'd exchange in classes or across the Great Hall, even if they meant nothing but just two people acknowledging each other's presence, makes me wonder how thrilled I would've been to rant about the events that took place the past two days, had my friends not disregarded my judgment.

The urgent need to do so, a desire that was so deeply rooted in an unseen veil somewhere within, has now vanished. I don't want my words to feel like a burden instead of shared happiness.

Draco never once approved of Lucas anyway. Every time I opened my mouth to mention him, my best friend would always go mute, refusing to participate in any conversation revolving around the Ravenclaw— I knew better than to ignore the way his gaze would sharpen, his hands would clench and unclench into fists that were almost begging to smack themselves into Lucas's face. I didn't- don't know what could've possibly made his skin pebble with silent, withheld fury that was desperate to be unleashed upon whatever item unfortunate enough to bear it. I never asked either.

"It's not just a simple look. Things have escalated."

A pitying frown falls like a mask over her face. And I can't bear to look at it. The knowledge that I'm pinned to the spot by four assessing gazes doesn't help at all. I meet every single one, summoning as much pride as I can find in me. "Let's just forget that the past ten minutes ever occurred. Please."

"You are in love." Blaise's terrible singing tears through the quilt of deafening silence that had just started ringing a bit too loudly, too uncomfortably, like a war drum in my head. "True love."

Theo rolls his eyes as if he recognizes the lyrics. "You need to stop listening to Taylor Swift."

Stubbornly shaking his head and narrowing his eyes like a child, Blaise crosses his arms and lifts his chin, pride masking his face- there's no ounce of hesitancy in him as he jumps straight into his defensive mode. "Never." Pretending to hold an imaginary microphone to his mouth, he continues the song, his words a blurry slur I don't pay attention to.

Instead, my eyes jump from Blaise to Draco across the room and I do nothing but watch him as he sits on Pansy's bed, fumbling with his fingers, evidently lost in thought—and scratching the back of his hand until red lines bloom like poppies on his skin.

[-]

It takes less than ten minutes for the scene to clear, every question forming in the minds of my friends over any matter including Lucas evaporating. Or at least seemingly so. Pansy is now lying on her bed, stretching her legs up against the wall and pretending to walk on it, a pattern of movements I recognize as her attempt to banish her boredom.

Theo and Blaise still haven't given up their precious spots on my bed, and I actually wonder how warm it'll be once they drag their asses out of the dorm later. And at last, Draco, who no longer appears interested in my notebooks- as if the ridiculous little sketch I'll forever curse myself about, popped out a hand and slapped him across the face- is busy counting the petals of my soft pink peony by the windowsill.

I lazily dig through my closet, storing a few clothes I hadn't bothered to pull out of my luggage, and searching for something more comfortable to wear than my robes. The day flew by so quickly, that it's almost midnight and I still haven't changed out of my school uniform. Although I must admit the skirt has started to get on my nerves for not allowing me to sit comfortably without having to be pulled down.

The crunching of Theo's chewing might be the only sound reverberating off the walls, as he recently opened his second bag of chips for the night. Though asking how many he managed to bring to Hogwarts is tempting, I remind myself that he probably has the majority of his closet filled with packages ready to be opened any time he wishes for it. Even if he's usually the one to make fun of Pansy for being obsessed with licorice rolls, he seems to forget that he is a worldwide threat to potato chips.

I grab the first pair of black leggings I find and snatch a random T-shirt from my drawer, heading to the bathroom to change. The moment I flick the lights open, a knock comes from the door, cracking a gap in the silence. I peek my head from the doorway. "Theo, will you get it?"

He shakes his head, "Moving an inch while devouring the most wholesome thing to ever exist in mankind is like interrupting a ritual." He holds his precious snack up for emphasis, shaking the crinkling bag.

"Or you're just too fucking lazy." Mumbles Pansy, but still doing nothing to save herself from being described in the exact same way.

"Watch your mouth—"

"Gods, you're not five." Draco turns from the window, pushing himself up from his crouch and running his hands over his gray sweatpants and shirt to straighten the creased materials out.

The black cotton of his turtleneck easily embraces the slimness of his chiseled torso and midriff, as well as the way the broadness of his shoulders ends in the V of his hips. It's no secret that Draco's body has always resembled a well-carved statue, with perfectly lined muscles gliding smoothly under his skin- yet he's never looked unnatural, fake, too bulky.

The paleness of his complexion makes his veins stand out to the eye, blue lines like woven threads under the skin of his forearms and the back of his hands. A girl's weakness indeed. I catch myself pressing the side of my face to the wooden door frame, instead of heading back inside.

His eyes meet mine from across the room like he's aware of my gaze taking him in. He nods. "You can go, I'll open it."

"Thank you." Playfully hooking my forefingers to the corner of my lips, I push them up to form a smile in the hopes of ridding my mind of all sorts of thoughts. "Make sure to greet whoever it is with a wide wide smile."

My best friend's eyes roll, but I can see his grin already taking place- he's trying to resist it, and knowing that I'd always be able to catch a glimpse of it, he buries his gaze to the floor and lowers his head to keep it out of sight. What a walking grump. "Don't push your luck."

I might be eighteen, but sticking my tongue out to him gives me the same satisfaction as it did when I was four. At least my grimace appears funny enough to make his chest waver with a low chuckle he masks by fake coughing.

Setting my clothes on the closed lid of the toilet, I linger in the bathroom's doorframe until Draco answers the door, his hand resting on the silver door knob. Though the color of the ring I bought him last year is almost the same, the used metal attached to the dark mahogany could never shine like it just rose from a pool of liquid starlight.

I don't hear much, but the sudden clench of his hand stops me from locking the door to the bathroom and ignoring whoever it is that Draco is facing. If it was a professor checking the dorms before curfew, I doubt Blaise and Theo would still be sitting wrapped up in their perfect bubble of impenetrable tranquility.

The blond's side profile gives me a perfect view of how his jaw locks in the name of rising irritation, a muscle jumping and ticking under his pale skin before his hand squeezes the round piece of metal one last time.

"Hemera, it's for you." He calls, not taking his eyes off the person on the other side like there's a chance of being too late to block an expected attack. A punch to the face, or a kick to the gut. Draco's entire stance makes me wonder if he's trying to find the perfect moment to declare a freaking war. I don't think I've ever seen his shoulders so straight and tense, his gaze so unfaltering.

He looks like a lion ready to fight a sworn enemy who has set his eyes on the piece of meat Draco sweated for. An opponent with teeth twice as sharp. Not only do I see the rigidity taking hold of his body, but also feel it like liquid leaking out of him.

I notice how Pansy sits straighter on the bed as I close the distance between myself and the door with almost soundless steps. Placing a hand on my best friend's rock-hard shoulder, I come to stand to his right. His muscles ease some of the tension under the slight pressure of my touch like I just absorbed bits of it and turned it to dust.

But my own hand turns to stone, every vertebra of my spine locking up in alert as my eyes meet Lucas'. I don't think I've met his eyes more than in the past two days. Ever since the incident on the train occurred, it's like he's constantly on the hunt for more ruined shirts.

Not that I'd complain about it. This is exactly what I've been secretly craving for three years-to be granted some extra time with him outside of the Great Hall. The teensy tiny part of me who has only opened a romance book once would like to name this the beginning of a story promising more than empty conversations encouraged by awkwardness.

"Lucas— hey." My voice comes out breathier than I intended, the sudden emptiness in my lungs urging me to suck some oxygen in. "What are you doing here?"

Lucas pushes his hair away from his forehead, calloused fingers running through his thick brown locks and loosening his curls even further. He holds his other hand out in my direction, the one that's occupied with holding what seems like a cup. "I owed you this, based on the foundation of our new tradition." He gives it to me, the plastic warm against my palms as the smell of cocoa makes me want to inhale deeper. "So I figured I'd come to find you."

My legs lose their bones— ankles, kneecaps, and all. That's when I realize that Draco's no longer standing here.

Unable to wrap my head around the fact that Lucas went out of his way to come to find me, and severely incapable of crafting an answer to an echoing 'why' that repeats itself in my head, I ask. "How did you find my dorm?"

Given how he simply gestures to the name tag attached to the door, I realize I should actually consider slapping myself and never speaking again. At least not when my heartbeat isn't as steady as a corpse's. I flash a small smile, one that doesn't bother hiding my embarrassment. "Oh, right."

"Though, I will admit getting in was harder than I thought. A first-year opened the entrance to the common room for me, after seeing me struggling with the password." I don't know if this is his attempt to make me feel better about being so freaking stupid, but I'm thankful for him speaking up nonetheless. "And I must admit, this place is way too dark."

"So that means that the Ravenclaw common room isn't?"

A short shake of his head. "Not at all."

"I've never been there." This might be one of the few things I'll shamelessly admit. I haven't even heard much about it, other than the fact that, unlike our house, Ravenclaws don't have to risk drowning every time an idiot like Blaise wants to see what will happen if he opens the windows in the common room and let some revolting-looking, muddy green lake water in.

"I know." Lucas says, "Your presence is kind of hard to ignore, but-" He pretends to pull out an invisible quill from his pocket, taking notes in the air. "I just made a mental note to show it to you."

I laugh, passing the cup between my hands to keep them busy. "Thank you."

Lucas's smile is wide and bright, a toothy grin I could never picture on Draco. "Well, I should better get going before Snape catches me wandering the hallways and gives me a month's worth of detention."

"Yeah, right. Better safe than sorry."

The moment I close the door and lean my back against it, glancing up at the ceiling and trying to kill some of the heat off of my face, Pansy and Theo start clapping. "Now now, that was quite impressive." Says my roommate, the straight line of her mouth replaced by a teasing smirk.

"And what's that thing he brought?" If there's one thing Blaise would've come down to earth tonight for, then this hot chocolate would be it. "Can I see?"

"It's hot chocolate."

Aiming to place the cup that's ready to call my hands its permanent home, on my nightstand, Blaise stretches enough to take it from me before I can react. He quickly brings it to his lips, chugging down a big gulp.

"Hey, that was mine."

"Was." He smiles against the rim, drinking some more and humming in satisfaction. "I'm taking revenge for Draco because I know he doesn't have the nerve to watch you beg for something."

"Bold of you to assume I'm going to beg to have it back."

Blaise threateningly takes another big sip, probably leaving the cup half-empty and something in my chest cracks. He watches how my expression falls into the one of silent plea like a slipping mask, leaving my brows drawn closer, my lips slightly parted- and grins in utter triumph, reveling in his easy victory.

"Actually, I think I do have the nerve." In a motion quicker than I can keep track of, Draco runs toward Blaise and takes the cup from his waiting hand. I hadn't realized how little of the beverage was left until I saw him tilting his head back to empty it all at once. He swallows thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Just for today."

"Screw you." I seethe through gritted teeth, my eyes narrowing.

My best friend, the person I grew up with but can only think of slapping across the face, sends a playful wink in my direction, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. "Name the place and time."

Theo howls, kicking his feet like a child and wiggling those tile slappers of toes. "That was smooth."

Draco, evidently satisfied with the praise dips his chin in appreciation, placing a hand on his chest to display genuine gratitude. "Thank you."

"Did y'all hear what Koch said to Hemera?"

The blond's head snaps to meet Pansy as if invisible hands attempted to twist and break it at an unmentionable speed. If his ears could move, I'm sure they'd be perked up in attention. "What did he say?"

"He wants to take her to the Ravenclaw common room to show her around." She air-quotes the word 'show' like she knows this might be the last thing Lucas would want to do.

I don't miss the way Draco's tongue rolls alongside the inside of his cheek, something he does when he has trouble solving a math equation or when he can't get the second eye of a portrait right. Something he does when he's annoyed.

"Honestly, I'm quite surprised he got so creative. This poor individual must've truly overcome himself by saying something that descent." I could almost thank Theo for taking my eyes away from Draco, weren't it for his sentence. "I was expecting it to go like 'Hey babygirl, I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours', or even worse, 'nice skirt. Can I talk you out of it?'"

I make a face at him. "Not everything is about sex."

Pansy's shoulders creep closer to her ears, barely touching the ends of her hair. I know she agrees with Theo and wants to find a way not to say it to my face. "Rumor has it that Koch gets more pussy than Nott, Hemera. I'm pretty sure all these ejaculations have stolen his brain's capability to think of much else."

Gasping, Theo places a hand on his chest, an expression of pure hurt dominating his features. "Now, that's offensive."

I can't find it in myself to laugh, so I just make my way to the bathroom, suddenly feeling like I need to block everything away from me. As I close the door and lock it, I hear Blaise ask.

"What do you all think about blasting some Taylor Swift?" I know he's proudly gesturing to his MP3 player without having to look at him. "Some 1989 would be good to help you loosen up."

"Is she your new celebrity crush or something?" That's Draco, ennui lingering in his voice. He's probably dragging his hand down his face right now, wishing he could just seize his hair out instead.

"Have you seen her? This woman is a literal Goddess."

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thank you for reading <3